Wife, Best Friend . . . And Sister

"We've got a whole lifetime ahead of us for hot and crazy sex!" I said.

"Yeah!" she agreed with subdued eagerness in her voice.

* * *

"Mom called," Lynn announced as I walked in the apartment the next Monday. She always got home from work before me.

"Yeah . . . so what did she want?" I asked. Now was not the time to tease me with a little half-nugget of news.

"She invited us over for dinner tonight. I guess they wanna finish the talk we tried to start Saturday night."

"So, I assume that you told her that we'd be there. What time?" I asked.

"Seven o'clock," Lynn said.

"Well, it's 6:15 now and it's a thirty minute drive if traffic's bad, so we oughta head out and get over there."

"I'm ready when you're ready, except for one thing," Lynn advised me. Of course, I'm accustomed to waiting on women.

"What?" I asked, and then I realized. I walked over to her, put my arms around her, gave her a warm hug followed by a tender kiss. I looked her in the eyes and said, "Whatever happens, we're in this together!"

* * *

Mom had the table set and dinner was almost ready. It was roast beef, my favorite, and macaroni and cheese, Lynn's favorite, and green beans, Dad's favorite, and apple pie, Mom's favorite. My mom was certainly the diplomat when it was time to select a menu.

Mom took a moment to tell both Lynn and me, out of the presence of Dad, that we would continue our talk after dinner. I was relieved. Obviously, you don't feed somebody a first-class meal if you're getting ready to tell them to go to hell.

During dinner, Lynn and I sat across from each other, rather than next to each other, as a minimal but symbolic gesture. Both Mom and Dad asked about our jobs, the apartment, our cars, everything but the most important topic in our lives. It was the classic elephant in the room.

After dinner, Mom made coffee and we all got a cup and retired to the living room.

"Your mother and I have talked about nothing but this for the past two days. There are several things that I want to say and, if you'll let me finish without interruption, I'll try to give you the same courtesy."

"First, we both love you two very much. If there are any harsh words said at any time in these discussions, it's because we have some strong feelings on this subject and we're not going to hesitate to express them . . . but we still love you."

"Second, we both think you two are absolutely fucking nuts!"

"George!" Mom interrupted him.

"Okay, I may have expressed that one a little too harshly. Your mom thinks you two are absolutely nuts. I think you're absolutely fucking nuts! If you two proceed with this, you're going to have so many problems. Why don't you just go voluntarily contract AIDS or malaria or something? Marriage is difficult enough without this problem, and we're not talking about a tiny problem here. We're talking huge!"

"Three. Both of us want you two to be happy, and both of us have to admit that you two look very happy together. Happiness counts for a lot . . . but you're still gonna have a lot of shit to deal with. And if you had looked elsewhere, you probably would have found somebody else who could have made you happy."

"Four. You're not the only ones who are gonna have to deal with shit. Old folks our age get together and talk about their kids. What are we supposed to tell them? 'Oh yeah, our son's fucking our daughter, but at least he doesn't have any venereal disease!?'"

"Five. We know that nothing we say is going to make a difference to your decision. We are totally helpless in this mess and that's part of our frustration. I don't even own a canoe but we ended up on Shit's Creek without a paddle!"

"Six. We love you too much to push you away and never see you again, so don't worry about that happening. And we hope that you won't push us away just because we're not wildly enthusiastic about incest."

"Seven, since this is going to happen anyway, and we're still going to be a part of your lives, and we are truly innocent in all of this mess, but it's gonna cause us some major difficulties, you should accept the responsibility for solving those problems for us, just as much as you possibly can."

"So, that's all I have to say. Ruth, you got anything to add?"

"I'm just gonna repeat one thing that your dad said. We both want you to be happy, and it's obvious that you're very happy now . . . but we're afraid that down the road, this will be too difficult for you and . . . then what? You go your separate ways and you each find somebody else and you come to family dinners with your new spouses knowing that their brother-in-law or sister-in-law has been intimate with their partner? If it doesn't work, it could screw everything up for a long time . . . like forever."

"Okay," Dad said, "We've had our say. Now it's your turn."

I took the lead on this one. "Well, you guys have been discussing this for two days, but Lynn and I haven't had time to discuss how to react because, frankly, I thought you were going to tell us to get lost. So, when Lynn and I respond, it needs to be after we have had private discussions and we come to an agreement on how to respond. So . . . you are invited to our apartment for dinner this Saturday night, and after dinner, we'll give you our response. Is that okay with you, Lynn?"

"Sure, honey, that sounds fine," she said. This was the first time that she had called me a pet name in front of our parents and I don't know if anyone else noticed, or if Lynn had done that intentionally, but I thought it was subtle but brilliant.

"Is that okay with you two?" I asked our parents.

"Let's see: a free meal, no cooking, no cleaning afterwards; what's not to like?" Mom asked facetiously.

"We'll see you Saturday night," Dad added.

* * *

Lynn worried and fussed over what she would prepare Saturday night and she finally decided on chicken and yellow rice, salad, green beans, and a delicious chocolate coconut pecan cake. Mom and dad arrived a few minutes early, as always, and I prepared them both a mixed drink before dinner.

As our parents had done when we last visited their home, we saved the serious conversation for after dinner. The meal was delicious but, of course, that was no surprise to me. Lynn always said that being a good cook did not involve too many secrets; one only needed to take the time to do things right, use quality ingredients with no substitutions, take no shortcuts, follow a good recipe, and pay attention to presentation. She did all of those things most wonderfully, and the special ingredient in her cooking was love.

After dinner, I prepared another round of drinks and we all removed ourselves to the living room.

"Well, Mom, Dad, Lynn and I have talked about your request and there were a number of issues you mentioned an I want to make sure I respond to each of them so I've actually got a few notes I made to help me remember everything I need to cover. I'm gonna run through these points in the same order that you used Monday night."

"First, I love both of you very much and I know that Lynn loves both of you very much. If you had listened in to our conversations, you would never have heard one unkind word said about either of you."

"Second, to use your words, Dad, we are both absolutely fucking nuts! But we're nuts together, in the same way, we understand each other, and we are quite happily crazy together."

"Third. You want us to be happy and we both appreciate that you haven't lost sight of that. You can have money, and houses, and cars, and fancy vacations, and no one of that will make you happy like the love of a wonderful companion. You both know that I will try my damnedest to make Lynn happy, and I'm sure you both know that she will dedicate her life to being a good wife and a good mother.

"Fourth. When I fell in love with Lynn, I wasn't thinking about the downside of this and the mess that we would need to clean up on a regular basis. All I thought about was loving Lynn. I certainly didn't consider what you would need to deal with either. That wasn't intended as any form of disrespect for you. We were both just caught up with being I love.

"Fifth point. What you say does make a difference. It makes a difference in what we think, what we feel, what we consider, how we weigh things that influence our decisions. Ultimately, what you say or don't say may not change the outcome of our decisions, but your thoughts and feelings are always considered.

"Sixth point. We're glad that you don't want to push us away because we anticipate that we'll encounter plenty of that along the way. We both need you to stay involved in our lives and, eventually, your grandchildren's lives. And remember . . . your grandchildren will have only one set of grandparents. You're going to be that much more important to them."

"Seventh and final point. Dad, you are absolutely right. We caused this problem and it's our responsibility to do what we can in the way of damage control. Lynn and I have some preliminary ideas on what we can do, but it's possible that we haven't considered all of the potential problems, so . . . we're gonna tell you what our preliminary plan is and then we can talk it over together, all four of us, to see if we can improve on it

"So, here's our preliminary plan. You may not like it, but it's the most effective solution we can see, and we'd be happy to consider any alternative that you suggest. There are three sources of potential conflicts: family, friends, and work/co-workers. Our plan only deals with the last two: friends and work. The plan is that I am going to start looking for a job in another location, something hopefully within a few hours of here. When I find something suitable, I am going to accept it and move. As soon as I move and get settled in, Lynn will move to our new hometown and start looking for a job."

"No one will know us so we will simply introduce ourselves as Mr. and Mrs. Since we already have the same last name, we don't need to worry about any of those issues. We will come visit you on a regular basis and we'll have a guest room reserved for you to visit whenever you want."

"Lynn and I will go to the University for genetic counseling. Of course, we want to have children but nobody wants to have a two-headed baby. Of course, those things are actually very, very rare, according to our research, but if we encounter any problems, Lynn can get pregnant using artificial insemination and that avoids those issues."

"That doesn't address the issue of family. I know that is a big concern for you two. The best I have come up with is this. Lynn will disappear from family functions for a few years, at least until she is finished having babies. You can tell family that she met a guy, got pregnant, felt embarrassed about it, and moved to the West Coast. When all the babies are out of the oven, you can tell them that Lynn left the bum and she's moving in with her brother for a while until she decides what to do next. Since she wasn't married to the guy, the babies can have her last name; that's fairly common for children born out of wedlock. That postpones problems because, when the babies are old enough to talk, they'll be calling me 'Daddy.' We can tell the relatives that they do that because I am a father-figure to them and their biological father is totally uninvolved in their lives, but I'm afraid that the lie will unravel eventually. Hopefully, by the time it does fall apart, people will have kinda caught on to what we've been doing and they'll see that we're happy together and that will be more important."

"Well," Dad began, "you've obviously given it a great deal of thought and it's not a perfect plan, but it's not bad. Your mom and I have discussed it quite a bit and we haven't come up with anything any better than that, so I guess that's the plan."

"There was one thing that your father and I talked about that you haven't mentioned. Lynn, you talked about a wedding. You can't invite anyone to a wedding and expect to keep it a secret, so you two need to just have a simple ceremony. You can exchange rings but you shouldn't wear them until you've moved to wherever you're going. Your Dad and I want to be there but I can't think of anyone else who you could expect would keep your secret, so let us know when and where, and we'll be there."

"One more thing," Dad added. "Your mother and I are very happy that the two of you are apparently as happy as two little pigs in slop, but . . . we're still afraid that the problems ahead of you will be too much and you'll split up and then what? We invite both of you to Thanksgiving dinner and only one of you shows up. We're gonna support you because the only alternative is to alienate you, but that doesn't mean that we're happy as two little pigs in slop."

"Dad," Lynn finally spoke, "if I knew a guy who was not my brother who made me feel the way that Jack makes me feel . . . I wouldn't be living with my brother. I get what you're saying, and Jack does, too. But we are in love and that's a bell that can't be unrung. You might be right, Mr. Nostradamus, but I hope you're wrong. If we don't work out after a while, Jack and I have enough respect for each other, enough sibling love, and enough love for you two to make things work out afterwards. But that doesn't mean we're planning on failing. When I say 'I do," I mean it forever."

After Lynn's declaration, the conversation quickly turned to somewhat lighter fare. Lynn and Mom discussed a date and location for our ceremony and Dad talked to me about what it would be like for me to become a father.

Lynn and I both expressed our appreciation for their tolerance and understanding and gave them hugs as they were leaving.

"Now, let's get drunk," Lynn suggested, "and do something horribly naughty!"

We both quickly downed a couple of margaritas and then got in bed. We ended up in a 69, with me on top, and Lynn inserted her finger to give me a prostate massage before I came in her mouth. I returned the favor and put my finger tip on her anus when she was close but I didn't have time to do anything else because she immediately started into an orgasm that had her body convulsing in paroxysms of delight while she moaned, "Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" over and over.

When she had finished, I got off of her and snuggled up behind her in a spoon. I lightly pinched her nipple and cradled her boob in my right hand as we drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It was a Tuesday morning in the springtime when the four of us assembled at the state park where I had proposed to Lynn. We walked down the beach and then stopped. Lynn and I faced each other and held hands.

Dad assumed a serious voice befitting the occasion. "Jack and Lynn, marriage is a solemn undertaking and you should not enter into marriage unless you are prepared to pledge your heart and soul to your mate for the rest of your lives."

"Lynn, do you offer yourself to Jack as his wife without reservation, without doubt, without any fear of what may come to you both in your future?"

"I do," Lynn replied.

"Jack, do you offer yourself to Lynn as her husband without reservation, without doubt, without any fear of what may come to you both in your future?"

"I do," I replied.

"In marriage, the two become one; you should no longer think of your needs and your partner's needs as being separate things, but you should think only of your needs collectively. Lynn, do you promise to Jack that you will make his needs and desires as important as your own, that you will love him even when you have conflict, and that you will work together to resolve whatever problems may befall you, and that, in fulfilling these promises, your energies will never diminish?"

"I do," Lynn answered, "and I ask for the support of my family in all that I do."

"Jack, do you promise to Lynn that you will make her needs and desires as important as your own, that you will love her even when you have conflict, and that you will work together to resolve whatever problems may befall you, and that, in fulfilling these promises, your energies will never diminish?"

"I do," I responded, "and I ask for the support of my family in all that I do."

"The ring is symbolic of love in a marriage. It is shaped like a circle; it has no beginning and it has no end. It is made of gold, which symbolizes great value and worth. It is intended to last forever and certainly to survive your mortal existence. Jack, place the ring on Lynn's finger and repeat after me." I pulled the ring from my pocket and slid it onto Lynn's left ring finger.

"I offer you this ring as a token and symbol of my love for you. Wear it always to remember that love will never leave us," my father prompted me.

I looked at Lynn and never broke eye contact with her as I repeated his words. "I offer you this ring as a token and symbol of my love for you. Wear it always to remember that love will never leave us."

"Lynn, place the ring on Jack's finger and repeat after me." I pulled my wedding band from my pocket and offered it to Lynn. She quickly slid it onto my ring finger.

"I offer you this ring as a token and symbol of my love for you. Wear it always to remember that love will never leave us," my father prompted Lynn.

As I had done, Lynn never broke eye contact as she repeated his words. "I offer you this ring as a token and symbol of my love for you. Wear it always to remember that love will never leave us."

Dad continued. "Whereas you have made these solemn promises to each other in the presence of your family and in the presence of God, and whereas you have shown your sincerity, loyalty, and devotion to each other, I declare that in the eyes of your family, you are husband and wife, now and forever, until death may do you part."

"You may kiss your bride," Dad said.

I don't think that Mom and Dad had ever previously seen us engaged in a passionate kiss. I put my arms around her and our lips met. It felt different in a wonderful way. It was like I was kissing something that I was familiar with, not because I had kissed Lynn so many times before, but because I was kissing something that was like an extension of myself. Somehow, in the instant of this ceremony, I had internalized what Dad had said: the two had become one.

* * *

In lieu of the traditional wedding reception, the four of us went to a very nice restaurant to celebrate. Lynn and I were almost giddy with delight, though we realized that the ceremony was not legal or official in any real sense. Nonetheless, it did not lessen our love for each other, it did not lessen the renewed commitment we both felt, and it only increased our passion for each other.

We sat and talked for a few minutes after lunch, and then Dad said, "Well, the two of you don't need to sit here and entertain us. You have a honeymoon to begin!"

We all kissed and hugged and the ladies cried a few tears of joy, then we were on our way. I had made reservations at a beachfront condo for a week about an hour south of home, and we were soon there.

The honeymoon was everything that I had hoped it would be. The first time that Lynn and I had made love, she had been a bashful, timid, inhibited girl. Now, she had overcome her inhibitions and her shyness, and she had become a very caring and attentive lover. Over the next seven days, we had sex in just about every position possible, in the bed, in the shower, on the living room floor, on the dining room table, even on the balcony at midnight. No man could have felt more sexually satisfied than me.

We were far enough away from home that we didn't worry about who might see us and we were openly affectionate in public. That felt so incredibly exhilarating and so incredibly right! I looked forward to us being relocated and being able to enjoy ourselves without fear of discovery.