All Comments on 'Wife Enslaved Ch. 01'

The return of Story Teller is always a good thing. Include a sirik and it is a winner.

Kick Jimmy in the nuts and send him to the hospital so they can remove his testicles she has trashed. When the Police arrive explain the problem, get the stupid chip removed and be done with this complete and utter nonsense. Even for a fictional story this was ludicrous. UGH!

gave you a 5

Whomever told you that you must use a different phrase after every piece of dialogue was wrong. The way you do it looks amateur and essentially instructs the reader on how they should interpret the speech. That is not how it works. You must use the words to express manner and emotion.

I hated that her husband gave her away!! Please have her husband save her!!! Please! and have him kick that annoying little shit's ass? It would be good for him. I want this to have a happy ending.

You have made an excellent start to a story series I hope you will continue with. Do please explain though , how slavery was set up in the world you create. ? Is it a Gor scenario ? Or an alternate world as in Silver moons " Slave world " stories. ? Would like to know

I love stories of this type where an individual or couple start innocently on a path but things spiral downward out of control and they are manipulated by devious perhaps evil person or people. I love the plausible storyline of playing but getting caught and being afraid to say anything. I am hoping there will be additional chapters. Does Jimmy know Riana is Adrian's wife? When will Adrian have heartache over missing his wife? Will he try to get her back and how will the price be? Will Jimmy become more arrogant and manipulative of them both? Will Jimmy change Riana physically to get under Adrian's skin more and drive Riana lower? Inquiring minds want to know!!! Terrific story please keep writing.

You're a great writer. Would love some more detail about the tattoo and possibly her getting a short haircut!

I am loving Riana's demise...

Keep it going. She should stay stuck for quite some time.

Thank You for Your entertaining plot and genre ideas. While this prose might not win a book prize, it is readable and, frankly, I would do much worse in fiction writing. Even better, You did not flame out after one chapter ... but continued with creative plot ideas for five long chapters, so far ;-)

Best wishes

Simon

You are not new here after checking all your works but you are new to me. This is the first time I've made an author a favorite after reading only one story. I am looking forward to reading other stories by you.

Same thing about a new favorite author. This was fascinating. Excellent world-building, I'm in love with the quick, free-flowing style. I found myself imaging involuntarily more details about the world and asking questions as you teased about the society. Well done.

But it was only a game

It starts as a game. Riana dons slave dress and chains to amuse her husband. An unexpected guest Jimmy comes upon Riana, removes her from her house and treats her as a slave. The flight of fantasy has become a grim reality.

Story teller makes an important point about social status. Appearances can create reality.