All Comments on 'Wingman'

Great story!

5

A tad too long.

Went well for 2 pages and then you lost me.

Lori's hubby didn't seem to suffer much.

Thanks for the story.

Stories get very boring when they jump around and don't come to a point.

In a moment of clarity, I realized: I was bored at the lesbian orgy.

I can't stop laughing at this!

Nicely done, squire!

This was just all kinds of fun. The humor is reminiscent of a couple LW legends, in a good way. Full marks from me.

Sorry, I couldn't get past the first page which meant I certainly wasn't willing to try seven. Better luck next time.

It was a very good story - could have been a 5* but was way to long with meaningless stuff - so a 4*

Absolutely wonderful, Griscom! Thanks for this great story!

Made it to the half way mark on page 3.

I think I deserve a medal.

An entertaining story with some genuinely funny moments. I'm glad it all worked out well for Esteban!

That was surprising good.

¡Qué divertido!

very nice story. 5⭐

It's really good to see a husband behave like a gendered man first with Peggy, then the other girls and finally Roni) and not like a Saint after separation.

Thank you for sharing.

Uhm..

yeah.

Just way over the top wet dream fantasy for me.

I would have liked it though in my high school self.

Thanks for the effort Griscom.

This was excellent. *****

What a thoroughly delightful story. Enjoyed every word.

What an absolute delight. Gave it a 5, but it's really more like a *****5***** and then some. This had so much of the oddball romanticism of StangStar06, though without the mustangs, of course. The wife who becomes a TV star and gets full of herself situation reminded me of "The Six O'Clock News Slot" by FrancisMacomber. The wife as TV star who wants a separation recalls "You Can Go Home Again" by the great BlackRandI1958, though in that case the wife turns out to have much better character than did Lori in this story. Griscom plotted this very well, since I was certain that Steve (aka Esteban) was going to end up with Peggy. Actually, one thing that I'm not sure was fully explained was why Peggy didn't want that. She did say something about being too young to settle down, but then she could have just kept Esteban as a FWB until she had finished school, or at least that year in Madrid. On the other hand, she obviously really cared about Steve, and maybe realized that wanting to keep him on a string till she was ready wasn't really fair to him. So she performed that most noble Wingman function, setting him up with Veronica (aka Roni), who was really right for him. And I'm sure glad that the happy ending for Steve & Roni was joined with one for Peggy, too, and that un-named former best friend of the boyfriend who'd dumped her. Richly satisfying. Ole!

Convoluted ....... and extremely entertaining! Good job, mate!

Very funny well written BTB story. I really enjoyed it thanks for sharing. 5 star effort.

I dont normally comment, in fact this the first time. Excellent story.

Very well done. Thank you very much.

LWlurker

Fun bit of erotic fantasy. It occurs to me Steve's adventure pretty closely mirrored Lori's, at least in terms of a sexual experimentation, her disingenuousness, and arrogance notwithstanding. And let's not forget the birth control faux pas. As always, a fun and entertaining read. Thank you for your offering

This was outstanding! There are some who will say it was too long, but this never tapered off or bogged down, I found it entertaining from first to last page.

This guy is too fucking stupid to know he's not divorced? Bitch, please.

I loved the start, liked the middle, loved the ending. 5*

Great little story (maybe not so little). Very inventive

OK, I don't get why so many cheating wives in these stories treat their husbands like shit for months, withholding sex and intimacy and being all bitchy. But THEN "don't want a divorce!" when husband files.

She would have made a perfect trophy wife for some older rich Producer type or even another ex-jock. I don't find it very credible (in my own experience) that she would remain hung-up on first hubby. Again -- because she left him already before he left her and filed.

That was entertaining until... I could have lived without the racist shit. Why you always gotta load your stories with some cringy shit? (Note to self: Not this guy) Byee, Randi.

@ScubaTyke, thanks for losing your commenting virginity on one of my stories. I will treasure our moment together.

To @swedishreader1, @Mightyheart, and some of the annonies, who think it was too long, other readers have bitched about my other stuff that was too short. Obviously, you want a Goldilocks story. So, once upon a time, in a far away woods, there lived three bears . . .

Loved it!

Good, interesting story.

Best story posted around here in quite a while. Just fabulous storytelling. Thanks so much.

.

5 strong *****

Ill give you writing props, Im glad others found it 'amazing" but I honestly got bored, maybe I was expecting more. I dont know.

Really well told. Hard to see how it could be made much better.

This was a pretty darn good story. 5 stars all around.

Thanks for sharing...

A very enjoyable read, I liked the layback attitude of your writing style. However, with so much effort being put into development the story falls flat on progression...why?

This story is 7 pages of 3 page legitimate development. For some reason any story on this site that exceeds 3 pages is usually granted entirely undue high marks if it has a happy ending. There was literally nothing here other than a bunch of travel stories interspersed with sex. You can skip pages and not miss any of the actual plot. Seriously people, this is way way too long for what's here.

Could not decide between a 3 or 4 * but in the end went with the 4*. Good read.

I have read a great many stories on this site, this one was a real gem. Ole' !!!

Very enjoyable, loved the banter.

Just one thing though - there is no ferry from Dover to Belgium. They go to France.

Cheers! This was a very good effort. It would have been better it it didn't start off sooo slowly. There was too much repetitive dialogue and exposition that throttled it from flowing. Perhaps a more lengthy flash forward would have helped. The conclusion was OK but a bit disorganized and lacked any real punctuation point.

Some of the funniest dialog I've ever read! Very entertaining, *****stars.

No . . . . . not Really a Loving Wives story. This was definitely a Romance, that used a failed marriage as a plot device. And it was still a cartoon, with all the contrived perfect coincidence unending galactic multiple partner sex, and a fairy tale ending; which is a type of cartoon you know. The problem with this being a LW story is that the stupid immoral shallow fuckup Blonde wife never went through any soul wrenching life changing event. Which means she was a guiltless slut when he married her, she just hadn't had the right opportunity yet to engage her inner slut. So he got what he married, and who's fault is that? Character morphing is a lazy way to get your characters to be Good one minute and Despicable the next, depending on what the story line needs at the time.

So the romance was fun. The adultery and divorce was phoned in. Hope you keep trying. Thanks for the effort.

Fun erotic tail. Lots of beautiful women all eager to do the MC. Of course I had no problem swapping out with Steve and imagining it was me with those babes. I mean, come on, that’s exactly what an erotic fantasy is supposed to offer the reader. Really enjoyed it.

This story died the moment she f****d a n****r. Should have been labeled interracial.

Loved the dialogue and the character development. Very nice fantasy.

This is a virtually total narration by a whiny Hubby, with almost no part of the poorly defined chronology being moved by a person talking to another human! Not until the third LIT page and the arrival of the Titular Sweetie (Wingperson) did it look like it might get understandable (beyond that Hubby is exploitative and pissed within most indistinct timeframe) and, maybe, even interesting!

Too late. Adios.

unrated.

Longer than it needed to be with all of his travels and lady friends. And for as many times he said that he didn't think about Lori, he had to think about her to notice that he wasn't thinking about her, LOL! It's a bit of a paradox.

I really liked this story, It kept moving, kept me reading...had no Idea really, how it would end, until the last page! Great story then! 5 STARTS! Thank you author!

Your Steve Miller truly is the Gangster of Love.

Great story, 5 stars!

I loved it, like others have stated it read as an erotic fantasy. I enjoyed it because I found the dialog catchy that flowed continuesly from one scene to the other. I also liked the surprises you threw I there. It allowed the sex scenes to flow more naturally. Gave it more of a pleasant surprise then what is expected to occure. Bravo

I loved it. Very well done. Thank you.

now if I can only find my wing Mensa companions, colleagues decision makers covered up pinkies to ascertain those rules and amendments, TK U MLJ LV NV

*4!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did a great BTB and still landed on his feet. A little fantasy with having sex with 3 girls but what the heck. It is a story & NOT real life!!!!

What a wonderful story! Thank you.

*****.

A good light-hearted fantasy with nice pacing and a feel-good ending. WTG!

I love this story!

Interesting and well written….the transition from Peggy to Roni felt weird to me. A guy like that with a girl like Peggy would grieve even if he promised not to fall in love. Otherwise it was great.

Fascinating story, witty and fast paced, love the writing..... but, I am so done with double standards. She's a cheating lying whore for sleeping with others, while he's a babe magnet and a stud for doing the same thing. What's the difference? (besides the typical male chauvinist and sexist slant). Well, she cheated first, and there was a marriage license between them. If a license is only intended to be a choke collar between a couple, then why would anyone ever want to get married? The single folks have all the fun, guilt free.

Fun to read!

And well told.

5-stars & Favorite.

Helluva yarn

One of the best LW/Romance I've read in many years. The dialogue, internal and external, was great. The BTB was tempered with humor, and woven throughout was friendship and love

This was great. He never wavered. She cheated and he put her to the curb, left and never looked back. He found a better woman and got his ultimate revenge by a life well lived. 5*s

Overall great story. The several flashbacks were a bit jarring to me but I pushed through it. The characters all have great depth and it was fun to get to know them. The barbie wife was mostly a cardboard cutout, but the focus was never really about her, it was about his journey with Peggy. Thanks for sharing!

Rnebular

Nice. A good story with great sense of humor.

Thanks for sharing.

Great 5* story. I almost didn’t read it because of the length and limited time, but I’m glad I gave in. Plus, I tend to skim within stories but your style made me want to read every word.

Excellent story! I enjoyed it.

It's extraordinary long for so little to have happened.

ehh it was sort of incoherent and rambling, no real direction here. 2 stars for no wimpy cuck

great story so much fun to read

Very nice. You had me pulling for Steve and Peggy to get together, but I am just as happy with this ending. :) 5.

Good story, I enjoyed the humorous dialogue..

Terrific story

Niggers stealing white women then claimed being oppressed by white men, bunch of losers

Superb!

Pretty damn weird but entertaining.

Thanks for the romp!

Great fun, if also sad

🌟🌟🌟🌟

OK - it was a long and winding road. Some of it was not believable but in the end I had a smile on my face. You win - I liked it- a lot.

Simply marvelous, the banter is what makes good stories.

Good one!

5 stars for me. It was a bit long for not alot of payout and it did get a bit incoherent at a couple points, I will say I'm extremely disappointed that Peggy didn't end up with him, and to be honest it makes it feel bit...Hollow? Maybe you could do an alternate version where he and Peggy end up together? I just don't think Veronica had anywhere near enough of anything in the story to be chosen over Peggy. Idk. Good read either way.

Feel like this is really a series of three stories mushed together so it could be published in the LW genre. The overall container of the story, the amateur weather girl who gets pretty and famous and then stupid could have been a story by itself as Steve goes through his trials and tribulations as his 1st wife becomes famous ending with the viewing of the "you've been served" ending. From there you have the story of Peggy who's entire family sided with her cheatin' boyfriend which also could have stood on it's own and finally the finale, this excellent European adventure which is the heart of this story, well told, sweet and where all your effort has paid off. I think to collapse all three of these ideas into this one big burger of a story has hurt you. You've really got three stories here, a series spanning several genres, you could have even broken off the lesbian experimenting by Peggy and the pinky sisters into an erotic coupling or lesbian side story. What suffers here is Steves's first wife in terms of being written as a full character and Peggy's back story. Sometimes writers here on Lit would take this sort of idea and really build it into a bigger opus and from reading this I feel like you've got it 75% done. So overall I love the whole thing but I finished reading thinking I had missed something decent.

A long, long great story. I enjoyed it no end. LP

Remarkably good. Sad as well. I wanted him to end up with Peggy. That was where the emotional investment was, based on your writing. Still, a wonderful read. 5 stars

Excellent ... *** SSB

Great story.

Mr. Griscom you are a very good story teller as well as having a great sense of humor.

Thank you.

@swedishreader

Made it to the half way mark on page 3.

I think I deserve a medal.

A medal for being a half-ass reader?

You certainly had me interested… but then I got to page 2 and you kind of did a heel turn on me. You make the racist janitor (or whatever he was) the hero and then on top of that terminate the dude while making it a point about his race. That janitor could have just not liked adultery and it would have been fine, and you could have made the firing about him being a piece of shit. He certainly was but then you started writing as if I should have empathy for the loud mouth jerk wad athlete

Well crafted. I liked how you structured the story by alternating timeframes. The character development was much better than most similar stories. 5*

Overall very good story, but it seemed like the ending was very abrupt. I do enjoy your stories and look forward to reading your future ones

Griscom.

I don't care how long or short a story is or whether it's "goldilocks" or not......whatever that nonsense is supposed to mean

Good writing is the only requisite.

@tralan69er......half assed stories elicit half assed reading.

It might have been enjoyable to you but not to me.

But you cope some more sunshine.

Thanks! Very much enjoyed the read. Very well done and will be looking for your next story.

Killian

Delightful!

Not your usual fare, really unreadable crap, too verbose with no direction. If I could have given you a half a point I would have, my suggestion is to avoid at all costs

This is a fantastic story. Loved reading it.

Splendid writing, wonderful story, and sending a crowd of homeless people to Malibu Barbie's house as live in guests is one of the funniest bits I have read on Literotica. 5***** only because I couldn't give it 10**********.

Please, keep writing.

One of the best!!

Great story. Love your sense of humor.