All Comments on 'Words'

Not finished typical

so bring on the rain. TK U MLJ LV NV

Now give us the rest of the story....

closure has to happen, but unlike your previous story live from the game, we don't need her justifying bullshit because if she had done for the reason of not having children where she could drive her husband to another woman for that, i think it worked well to some extent. but she was selfish and no repentence for that. ppl like her/him should pay heavily in life for they gave up the most important things in life that is love and trust. Hope you can come out with something really appealing for the hero to heal like marrying a widow with children that would fill the void in his life , if not his own genes.

Apart from it not really being finished, the whole first page could have been left off it if thats all you're going to write for this.

(And you know there'd be a big "but"), seriously, what guy has the wisdom of Solomon when he's blind sided by 2, THAT'S RIGHT TWO, of the biggest betrayals imaginable? Deep, deep thoughts spewing from our hero's lips while he's being figuratively raped by the love of his life and most trusted friend, and then her backdoor stud is drinking his beer. OMG. FORGET THE PUSSY; I'D BE FURIOUS WONDERING HOW MUCH OF MY BEER THAT ASSHAT HAD BEEN STEALING BEHIND MY BACK. Glad our hero finally became human at the end and showed he had a pulse and came up with"... a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!" (Otter, Animal House) and took an eye for an eye (strike that, a nose for a pussy...AND HIS BEER). Surprised he didn't kill the guy...stole his wife AND HIS BEER!

God knows I have written a lot of scenes. If they bring a laugh or a bit of sober introspection, all is good.

I am not sure where the cut off point of 'wasted scene' is vs. 'suitable entertainment'. Suffice to say I found it engaging. Much of the criticism about 'the story isn't finished' is garbage. A story is NEVER finished!. There is always a desire to know 'what then'? So the writer has to pick what he is and is not going to show. Yay the Death Star blew up with the Emperor! Now what? The Rebel fleet just got it's ass handed to it, and there are a ton of other Imperial Fleets out there. The Senate has been dissolved so what the fuck are Luke, Leia and Han going to do? There are no Jedi Masters, just a Jedi Misfit left. Huge power vacuum. Finish the Damned Story!

Or...how about we enjoy what we see.

Still, this is just a scene. Just a set of speeches. An exercise to see if you can 'burn the bitch' just by ruining her self image. But to be fair, you outlined that in the beginning.

I enjoyed it, but I did not love it.

BTW, putting religious/ political slams in your piece...hmm. You are opening yourself up for shit.

They drag me in, fully engage me, leave me not wanting them to end, then they do. I'm then left wanting more and with a feeling it's not quite finished. Not sure the last bit is good or bad though.

This story needs a follow up

Free wheeling and all encompassing in scope (at least in the attempt), I loved it for its tone and unapologetic approach. I don't demand BTB focus, but I want it with panache when it's delivered. Well done. Five stars.

In fact, I got so wound up, along with the husband, that to keep my blood pressure down, I had to read the story aloud to relieve some of the tension!

I liked how he reverted to his professional persona to take her down. Something different: giving a lecture to the cheating spouse who has a break with reality and assumes you will give her permission to continue to cuckold you.

I know readers get upset when characters don't react the way the reader wants them to. But I find it interesting, observing the cross-section of human behavior in LW stories.

I suppose it's a function of who we are from birth, how we're raised, the experiences we've had, what we come to believe, how much trust we give others, and the particular circumstances we find ourselves in.

Some of us act immediately out of anger, some obtain evidence and make a plan, some just stand there in shock, and some run away, seeming to retreat from the entire world.

We all react differently to unexpected, shocking situations. I have read of some calm characters here who discovered their wives were cheating, but I can't recall one who stepped up to the lectern the way this husband did. Good for him!

And PLEASE, don't tell me you are going to reconcile Ryan and Deanna! I don't believe people should ever become too friendly with anyone who has shown such great disrespect and lack of love as to cheat on their spouse, to whom they had promised love and fidelity.

To those asking for more... stop you whining and use your imagination.

God, that was just beautiful.

In minutes he tore apart everything they are.

I like a man who can keep his wits about him during times of stress and not give the enemy quarter. It's how I, myself, would strive to behave.

At first glance, she seems like the typical cheater, whose brains have been lost along with the love and respect she once had for her husband. But thinking back on her husband's description of her, she really wasn't a very loving wife, if she didn't get her way. She didn't just have a temper. She was illogical, mean, and disrespectful. She always had to win, or he always paid the price. I can only assume that she thought she could get away with what she had planned because she verbally abused him in public and he always suffered the consequences for her actions. As her husband, I would have had her back in therapy, challenging her behavior. (Personally, I'm not a big believer in therapy. Maybe that has to do with the fact that my friend went with her cheating husband to meet a marital therapist, and it turned out to be the woman with whom he had cheated on her!)

I, too, am now concerned about what you are going to do with the follow-up to "Live from the Game". I liked where it ended: no reconciliation. "Devoted" I may be, but I require as good as I give, and I would not brook a cheating spouse; my love and respect would diminish right along with his for me, and there would be nothing left of the marriage. (Unlike my friend, who begged and pleaded for him to stay with her. It's four years later. They went to counseling. He has, supposedly, not cheated again. But now she is wondering why she strove to keep him. Wasn't she worth better than she received from him? He doesn't know it (he's as happy as a clam), but they are on shaky ground.

He should have hit her with: "You cheated on me, even after I gave up having children to be with you?" "While all my friends were becoming fathers and raising their kids, you were out fucking around, and laughing at me for being such a stupid chump! You were right to cheat on me, I am a fool, I trusted an evil person and I got what I deserved."

Let her roast in Hell with those thoughts. Let her think of the children she'll never have. Remind her of her most basic lacking as a woman, fertility. There's a kick in the ovaries for you!

Mike should have seen it coming. When a woman disrespects her man repeatedly in front if friends. That's not a annoying quirk. The narrator accepted this treatment and the subsequent infidelity was nigh inevitable as an extension of that behaviour. If Mike had been stupid enough to accept Kristi's blindsiding marital renegotiation, the floodgates of pain would have really opened.

jezzaz did a fantastic job of depicting a man waking up and seeing that his mate's thinking process in terms of being suitable for spending a lifetime together is flawed as her stunted reproductive tubes. In a way though , I don't blame Kristi and certainly don't believe she's evil. The fact is when there aren't kids in a marriage there is less reason to be monogamous. Less is at stake in terms of what happens if marriage breaks down.

She wasn't ready for a lifetime commitment. Mike was. Therefore the outcome of this story was fated to end as it did. Badly. That description , however, does not describe to the author's skill. Many disparate elements were laid out and intially frayed my patience. But once Mike came home , the multiple whys and wherefores made sense. Bits of Socratic method were employed exquisitely.

As mentioned before, I was vexed and taxed before that showdown, but jezzaz made it all worth it ( and then some ). *****

There were some very funny moments in this story. One of the best was the empty beer can that just tinkled against the wall when he was trying to convey his anger. The other funny parts were the names he called the lover as he sat there and took it. The part that didn't click was the build up about what a clever mediator and wordsmith he was. His reaction to the wife's confession seemed quite normal and lacked any special insight. He could have been a plumber and said the same things. Still, I enjoyed it and laughed a few times. That makes it a success, at least for me.

I've thought of writing similar alternate endings to a number of stories I've read on this site (Radke's Statute of Limitations Troubador's How High a Price in particular). For some characters, words can be more devastating than any financial or physical discomfort.

I agree with HDK's comment that the intro, his life as a mediator, was too long. Once the actual story started, it was brilliant.

Why ALL the wordiness (pg 1 was a total waste) and especially the drama?

All that is required is to say " 'nuff said. Goodbye."

I get upset when something that is (not once was) valuable is damaged.

But I don't get upset at damaged garbage.

Would like to see a followup on what happens to their lives. Thanks again!

Please continue. Should have included an epilogue.

An excellent and well written story, as I have said on other occasions, "she is away with the fairies

In my opinion the background section was a little long and can stand editing. It was useful in giving the reader a real understanding of the protagonist's mindset and way of addressing problems.

What I appreciated most was the articulation of and the dismantling of the hackneyed justifications for the betrayal. Well reasoned and powerful. He really identified the real issue which was Kristi's intent to get what she wanted to the exclusion of everyone else, including James. Her arguments are a smokescreen to coverup the core motivations and the fact that she didn't love him, never loved him, and thought that her marriage was a joke and needed to be killed so that she could do what she wanted to do. Her narcissism never let her see the reality. And he attitude guarantees that if they were to try to survive this betrayal there would be many many more in the future.

Kristi is the product of our times. We've been told that we need to love ourselves first and to take care of our needs first and if it "doesn't hurt anyone" it's okay. The truth is that there are no victimless crimes and adultery is the most destructive thing that can be done to a relationship.

You can't put the genie back in the bottle and once trust is gone it can NEVER be fully restored and without trust, why have a relationship at all?

Don't you dare NOT write more. This story has big time legs and needs to be continued

Interesting connection to "I never meant for this to happen" in our society there seems to be a propensity for "It's not my fault because......" And this story mirrors my thoughts on taking responsibility for your actions. Quit blaming others and your environment for your problems because 99.999999% of the time it is your fault! I agree the story is a bit wordy at time, but still a good read. I would love to read the aftermath continuation in another chapter. So jezzaz if you can find it in you give us non writers an epilogue please!

His pain was palatable. And his take down perfect. I thought you were going to have him say something about being young enough to find a woman to give him children but that would have been to cheap a shot for an ethical guy like him.

And thumbs up for shot on Orson Scott Card.

This was,well, just superb.

Please write another chapter.

This is to good to not be continued.

Nice dismantling of Kristi and her excuses. Good balance of him fighting through his pain with the shredding of her excuses.

Rather too wordy and some odd grammar and word choices but you got there in the end.

...is when people keep asking to author to write more. But there is nothing left to add, not really, it is quite finished as written.

It would make a "5" except for some typos, other than that, good tale.

I am most certainly a fan of BTB stories, but you have taken it to a new level. I very much look forward to your next contribution.

This took way too long to get to the meat and potatoes of the story. Background is fine but the meandering manner you gave it makes it seem longer than it was, but not in a good way. I ended up scrolling past much of it.

The plot started out a bit like Nici story, that got follow-ups from different authors.

But in this case, there is no need for another chapter.

The end is really the end.

5*

The trick is to make a common words have an uncommon meaning. Not taking an uncommon word and put a common meaning to it. So, my best advice to you is... put down the thesaurus and write a better story. You have a good premise, but over wordy, excessively twisted paragraphs, and withering diatribes, does not the story make. You used three paragraphs where a single sentence would have done. You could have cut a 1000 or more words out of this and still had the emotional impact you were looking for. It will actually have more, since you are not telegraphing your punches. Please remember what looks good on paper, might sound like trash when spoken. So please, take the time to talk out your dialogue. It will help.

Keep working at it.

Myhands316

This story definately needs another cap. I really hope you do writte one.

While I agree it is finished as written, I'd like to see an epilog where her family at least expresses their disappointment with her, if not disown her completely, and where her relationship with James goes down the tubes, and she ends up lonely and alone.

Truely worth the read

Had me gripped throughout.

I have never been a fan of btb stories, but, I guess, intelligence and good writing have forced me to change my mind....at least for this one time.

Jeezaz, your ONLY fault as a writer is that you don't inform (I was going to say brighten, but inform is closer to the mark) our mornings with your stories more often.

Thank you so much for this tale!

He should have said in the end: Leave so I can start looking for a woman who can give me a child!

Riveting story. Would love to see a sequel that covers the aftermath and how both their lives progress.

sequel

The reason his "words" worked were because the wife was "non-evil" enough to be impacted by them. She did an evil thing, and for the life of me I don't get the idea that she could have ever thought he'd be okay with it, but she was still capable of being shamed. Many cheaters would not be, and for them, words would never work.

I enjoyed reading this. An intelligent story. 5 stars.

Is there going to be a sequel?

Please say yes!

This is an amazing work of art. Your ability to use words and language is incredible. Bravo.

I think his words hurt so much because he tore down everything she believed about herself. This wouldn't work for a shallow bimbo (or himbo).

As someone above said, once they start tearing you down in public, it is not the beginning but the end. Your response is to look like a pussy or to get belligerent In front of her friends. There's nowhere good to go and the spouse who does it to you has made his or choice, and it's not you.

This situation is not really surprising. Women are designed to have children. The tremendous energy and love it takes to have kids has to go somewhere if she does not have kids. For a woman without kids to look for other places to release this energy kind of makes sense. To some degree, this is his fault as well as hers. They should have had kids one way or the other. There are so many kids that need adoption out there, that would have been a better answer than a life of selfishness. At a certain point in a marriage, kids are the natural next step. If you do not take that step, you stunt yourself and your marriage. Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings, but it is true. You have to have something more to live for in your life than your own pleasure. It is simply nature, it is the way we are made. These two perverted the process.

...actions count (like hers) - and his was best - End Of !!!

Two movie scenes came mind while I was reading this.

From Unforgiven, Its, a hell of a thing killing a man you take away everything he's got, and everything he's gonna have. Neither this man or the wife will ever be the same. She has taken everything they are or were ever going to be. There will be no growing old together, walking down the beach hand in hand for there two.

The other scene is from Man on Fire with Denzel Washington. Christopher Walken has this great line, "Creasey’s art is death. He’s about to paint his masterpiece." Yep, the husband used all of his knowledge all of his training to paint this masterpiece, nobody walked away from this train wreck.

Great story, very strong emotions in some ways I wouldn't mind seeing a continuation, but then that would make for a really really dark story, a place no author in his right mind would want to go.

a definite five star story that should result with a follow up. Would love to read of her reaction and subsequent results of all parties involved.

Sorry @sugna...This time I don't agree with you...How many women and men with children cheat their spouses? Children or no children cheating is for people with no morals, who think they are superior and smarter, and being so nothing will happen to them ever...In this story the husband destroys the cheating wife with words, but after that he will use actions, making her cheating known by everyone she knows, making her to face life alone, because the lover wasn't a person she could depend...

KarenE wrote: "where her relationship with James goes down the tubes, and she ends up lonely and alone."

The way the story went, I think its reasonable to assume that Kristi will never be with James again. However, she's an intelligent, attractive lady and would have no trouble finding a partner. Mike has this anger inside "will never trust another woman again", so of the two, he is much more likely to be the one who ends up alone. This sets up a framework for a great sequel:

She splits from James, does not fight the divorce, goes into counselling. Mike drinks (but not to the point of beccoming an alcoholic) and has meaningless one night stands. Kristin finds someone, enters into a relationship, but realizes it is not what she had. Between that and he counselling she comes to terms with what she has done, ends her current relationship and works on re-establishing a new one with Mike. Can she or can't she? This would need to happen over a timespand of several years.

Except for this one ;)

You sort of lost your "destroy with talk" premise at the end...the toilet, the punch, etc. A lot of the things that were expressed in internal monologue could have gone in with the dialogue, I think, and our villains were a little too willing to sit there like some rapt and obedient audience. But overall, this was an enjoyable read based on a novel premise. It reminded me a little of some of ohio's stories, just because the dialog could impact so well and carry the story.

I will admit to having spent a lot of time on web sites for those trying to survive infidelity, and a lot of the issues they face so consistently...things they term trickle truthing, hysterical bonding, and "the fog"...are totally absent from most angry husband revenge stories here. You caught at least some of that "fantasy world" cheater mentality, which already makes you twice as insightful as most btb writers.

A brilliantly told story! But would love a follow up as he is a great character that deserves to have his next story in life told.

I cannot begin to understand the comments about finish the story or expand on the story jezzaz wrote a complete and great story and commenters start with "more I don't unnerstand" (childish pronunciation intended). FIVE BIG STARS

he didn't give up his pride, he didn't lose himself in trying to keep the marriage together and in the end, he did what was needed. He vented some anger by punching the dumbass in the face. Then did what most men would do, he took out the trash. (5)

i would love a sequel. hopefully he can keep his promise to let all their friends and family know just what went down. this to me is what usually pisses me off with these stories. why would the husband let everyone think he is the bad guy. that never happens in real life.

Wish I handled a similar breakup as well some years ago. 6 wasted years. Never a marriage, thank God.

'Nuff said.

... spurned hubby will be arrested for Lothario's bloody nose; Wifey witnessing the assault will attest to it. Secondly, Hubby will be the one to have to vacate the condo, not Wifey, so Hubby'll have to find somewhere else to drown his sorrows while Wifey fucks Lothario on Hubby's bed. Words are good for poetic rhetoric, but they won't break Wifey's bones in the least because Lothario is her safety net to a failed plan A...

story but really not erotic.

needs a second chapter

As I read the opening page I thought this was the beginning of a clever, different approach to the problem of a cheating wife. This guy was so smart to identify with both sides of an argument, find common ground, build trust, forge a re commitment and an acceptable solution, acceptable to all. He had done it all his life. Now he was having a chance to do it when the chips were really down. What a strong, wonderful lead in for an exciting plot.

Then it just went to hell. It was, as its title says, just a pile of . . . words. No wisdom, no understanding, no revelation of super power. Just . . . words. It did not reveal a deeper character, and understanding of what could be, a solution to this pain. It was just a bunch of . . . words.

Too bad. It began with a lot of promise.

You don't completely make it work. It's true that you can cause a lot of emotional pain with words. But this scene lacked... Not violence per se, but a hardness to it. Not cheap shots, like the kids matter, but a bit of an all out assault. Maybe the word I'm trying to find is cruelty; the story seems more pretending to be cruel than actually being cruel.

One aspect of it is, as Unoriginalist said, that parts of the interior monologue should have been put into the dialogue, so the wife would have known the how and the why she was being destroyed.

In any case, the premise is very interesting, and the bare bones are there. The writing is good too, and overall the story still is in the top 5% of this hub. It is only that, IMO, the author can do better.

And, as always, thank you Jezzaz for posting here

Very provocative story. Even things that didn't fit makes it more interesting. While I agree with other commenters that the intro was too wordy, the reader understands where the husband was coming from. He envisioned himself the perfect mediator. That he had great insights on what other people wanted. He believed he was in a perfect marriage and listed all of the reasons for that belief.

Clearly the marriage was far from perfect. He tells us his wife would unload on him in front of others. It would have been helpful to have an example. Was it something trivial like leaving his laundry on the floor or personal like making fun of his sexuality? It is hard to believe that he would not even know his wife's lover. She worked with him for some time and you would think the name would have come up. How did he not see a hint of a problem? How could the wife think it would make any sense to bring the lover to break the news to the husband? No one would take her proposed deal. It's not like her lover was her old husband who was missing at war and presumed dead and finally returned to her.

I did not think the violence worked. The mediator would not have physically attacked the lover or beat him up a the end. The bloody scene at the end makes the lover the victim and puts the husband at a disadvantage. By using words the husband caused more pain than with his fists. Thank you for your work. I would be happy to read more about your story but it is clear this marriage is broken. Writers like you are why we come to this site and dig through the horse shit looking for the pony.

Reasonable man

Speak louder than words. He had no WORDS for the guy, but had a lot to say to the wife. It seemed like the wife got off easy. He should have hit the wife and the other guy.

It has been a very long time since I read something as deep and good on this site, excellent presentation and it truly reflects how men who are not BTB nor RAAC think. Thanks for sharing, Five stars.

Well worth the time to read it. Thanks.

Once upon a time, people dealt with the shit that life threw at them, dealt with it properly, and moved on.

Now, we have fucking lawyers, bleeding-heart liberals, and upside-down justice.

...But we ALL know that already. And truth be told, we also all know that our rights to true justice are pretty well fucked, so we don't need some panty-waisted liberal socialist fuckwad anonny nuisance telling us he'll get arrested and lose the fucking house... It's not PART OF THIS STORY, so jam it up yer clacker.

And for the record, if my wife and her lothario thought for a split second they could stitch me up, then I would go one-up, scorched-earth, no prisoners, race you to the bottom.

It happens. Jilted guys do visit their ex's, wearing santa suits and hiding a shotgun in their big red sack. Sure, they might be doing immeasurable damage, and they may be at fault, but would it have ever happened if they hadn't been betrayed? So who really is to blame? And when it's all over, how can the damage be undone?

This story wasn't erotic,but it WAS emotional.

My only complaint is the old loose/lose thing.

LOOSE is not tight, just like the whore's cunt.

To LOSE is the opposite of WIN, or the state of not being FOUND.

Get that one right. It's not hard, children.

I'm almost at a loss for words. At the time of my comments, you have 70 responses for a story only a few hours old. I certainly disagree with those who don't like BTB actions. IMHO, the best stories in this genre are where the offended spouse, after being blindsided by their cheating whore of a spouse, (yes, I include cheating husbands as whores too), manage to turn the tables and absolutely destroy the offending party. I detest people such as the wife here who make all kinds of excuses and, to add insult to injury, think you should just accept it and all will be OK. And there truly are such people out there. For a story on an erotica site that contained zero sex, you generated a tsunami of interest. And no, you were not too wordy. If others don't like your vocabulary perhaps they should invest in a dictionary. This story was set up great, and only a self-loathing masochist could be disappointed in the outcome. Sadly, there is some truth in the way our depraved justice system works today, and how some of your readers pointed out James would press charges for battery. I think given his background though, Mike could word things in his favor and get things tossed. I do think there should be a followup to show just how far things did bottom out for the cheating slut. My preference? All her friends and family ultirnately turn their backs on the worthless tramp, James finally does the inevitable, cheating on her and possibly introducing her to the world of STD's, and Mike ends up with the ultimate revenge, marrying her sister,(she's not married, right?), and fathering children with her. Those would be the ultimate spits in the face. Awesome story!

This story doesn't really belong on Literotica: it's too good and not particularly erotic. It is one of the only short stories I have ever read (I'm 76 and have read a LOT) that increased my heart rate and probably my blood pressure. Great writing, a few typos and misplaced words ("lose" and "loose", as noted previously) but the meat of the tale is great. Clean it up, condense the first page, choose some less-anatomic insults for the lover, and submit it to some magazine that publishes short stories. You could make a sale.

like everyone else, I suppose it might be nice to have a follow-up in which enormous, life-long misery is visited upon the wife and her fucker and if you want to write one, then great. However, the story ends appropriately. It does not need a sequel from good old "Finish Wiping Your Ass Or Get Shit On Your boxers".

Keep writing.

I LOVED this story! A little much for back story, but still, I am dying to have a follow up story to this!

FD is correct about this being a scene rather than a story - doesn't make it less of a read, though. Agree with HDog about sense of relief when hubby takes out the trash. An epilogue would have been appropriate, although it is pretty easy to impute some of the crap going forward. Several comments noted that hubby could get in legal trouble for punching the perp. Wife acted stupidly - as hubby pointed out, perp ain't gonna make a trustworthy partner (but neither will she).

No question excellent non erotic loving wives tale. BUT, it isn't complete. We without benefit of an imagination who read stories to enjoy the skills of a fine writer, want to know NOT how "use your own imagination" envisions the rest of the story, we want to know what the writer(s) see in THEIR characters future.

Idealistically any one of us can "imagine" what happens next, yet is it what Jezzaz or any writer who leaves an ambiguous ending that can have many branches to choose from would do? Honestly, the characters are not the intellectual property of MY imagination are they?

One could argue the wife because of her inability to bear children seeks counseling and learns why she fouled their marriage. She then attempts to get her husband or ex to fall back in love, successful or not? Or she chooses the easy way out kills herself, and leaves the husband in pain, or not.

She becomes the slut a lot envision, and leads a miserable life, or she dedicates her life and matures becoming a faithful wife to another. The husband could live reclusively vowing never to marry again, and screw hookers or have one night stands turning into that which he loathes, or finds a greater love and have the children that Kristy could not provide. Infidelity molds characters for better or worse. Psyches change. Some learn and grow, some wither and die. So what indeed does happen next???

I know a number of you don't give a flying rats ass, and can argue on the merits what constitutes finished. Yet even "Star Wars" has chapters 7,8,9 being filmed after many years of wondering, and allowing others to speculate with their own stories how this tale ends. In time we will learn the real vision, and what will become canon. Wonderful, isn't it?

Which tree branch would Jezzaz choose? For that matter which path would a lot of writers choose for their unfinished work? You know who you are. Writers think its funny to leave it half finished and as previous and future comments will instruct me to; use MY imagination to finish their story. Then insult me by making a cutsie comment; "I haven't a clue what happens next..." If YOU don't know, who does?? It isn't "cute" for me to be left wondering, and again in my opinion a writer who leaves it unfinished didn't know what to do, didn't feel like it, or was afraid. Why???? You invested many hours creating interesting intriguing characters, write thousands of words and breathe life into them. You are their creator, their god. You determine how they live, or die. You gave them personalities, morals, YOU made them, not me....you set them on their path, NOT ME.

I realize a few writers end it with obvious foreshadowing what their vision was for their characters without spelling it out. There are a number like JPB who relish ambiguity. Regardless:

So why should it be up to me to use my imagination to see their future? Think about it.....

Sorry to bore you people with my diatribe, but now it is finally finished.

Maz still anonymous, but now with a name.

Hope this is not the end... If it is I see FTDS running with this one. 5 STARS

LSD made a very good analysis or perhaps summary of the story. The first action may have given him fatal wound if he can't get by why,,, But her self image should be destroyed which is truly BTB

Loved it - please let there be a sequel

And didn't you say in the intro you wanted to see if you could wound someone with just words? Seems to me there was a level of violence and the threat of escalation. Okay read but still degenerated into the realm of rantings. 3*

I never comment on these stories, but I too would love to see an "aftermath" chapter great writing and loved the way you verbalized the thoughts and found myself often nodding along agreeing.

never, ever be un-armed be it guns, knives or words. TK U MLJ LV NV

This was just right as is. The long, wordy buildup within his thoughts. The limited but well aimed physical actions spaced throughout. The cream on the top was the use of words as weapon and shield. Who has not been in a difficult situation and latter rued the fact that they didn't say this or didn't say that? His professional training does matter as most people would have flamed out directly to the 'get the fuck out' and missed the chance to poison her internal well.

Epilogues. Additional chapters. Not necessary. They are done. The story was his response, not the gory details of the fallout.

Finish the damn story!!!!

that was just felt a bit unnecessarily tedious leading up to the "intervention" but worth payout. 5 Stars.

5* and I think a sequel or aftermath is a great idea for this one.

5***** Good story, but the true revenge when he finds a newer better woman and they will have common DNA test proof kids!

Good stuf, a little heavy on the analysis of what he is going to say and it's effect ahead of him saying it, but was a nice read.

I have a new BTB hero. Take the rings, punch the interloper in the face and leave the slut emotionally stunted (she needed the comeuppance). But James' beer, my hero's beer actually, would have been emptied upon him. Take and use my wife? Go ahead, you've had her every which way anyhow. Come into MY domicile and drink MY beer? Call your insurance company and see if they cover an ass-whuppin.

While there were too many mental soliloques that the protagonist lead us though I could see their value on plot building but they could have been soft-pedalled when the confrontation really got under way. Great characters, great dialog.

Words Part I I where are you?

I truly loved this story! well written, as well as well thought out. will most definitely check out your other work! The story has an endpoint, but does leave questions. I hope that there will be apart two. thanks

I enjoyed reading it. It is complete in itself but a sequel would be appreciated. As has been suggested, how do her family take it. (Or even how does James's wife take it?)

....of fresh air!

I for one, am looking forward to the next episode.

Well edited...that is, nothing of any consequence to snipe about and you do pretty AWSOME character sketches as you weave the story.

The story is not new or unique overall, but has some nice turns that one can enjoy while revisiting a familiar thing, like your favorite slippers.....that your daughter put some bangles on to dress them up. They look ....different and not so careworn.

Some of the logic in your monologues seems a little contrived, but not to the degree that it becomes impossible to believe the story or characters. One caution: Best you don't get too close to the edge with those purposeful machinations, lest you tumble over and lose your way......talking here about you and your not-as-subtle-as-you-might-like messaging.

So, I get that you like OSCard's writing, stories, whatever....enough to make reference to one. The other item.....well I'm taking issue with you.

Didn't it ever occur to you that a good deal of what he brings to his writing, his interesting twists of thought, unusual-sounding bents of reality and especially his characterization of people......we're all in large part not just because he's very smart, very clever, but also because he is supported by a belief system that he lives by, that fills him with a certain purposefulness?

I've followed his work and such for over thirty years. I think he his remarkable. I find his unusual faith out of time and sorts with most of society (apparently including yourself), but indelibly interesting. So, I think the gaping hole is in your life, psyche, mind, or whatever, not Card's. It's not his flaw that he is a man of faith, but yours that you are not. But look at me, I'm in the same boat you are.....just a little more honest with myself and others about the state of things. Accountable, responsible and open to what comes....at least I try and am hopeful that I am.

Sad that the need for security in my situation prevents my identifying myself.....but for awhile longer it is a necessity and a matter of survival. I would delight in conversation with you.

We may never meet, but flawed as you are, I admire your writing (mostly) and hope you will continue to surprise and delight.

kids in the sequel after the boy friend abandons her.

I thoroughly enjoyed the scene with Kristi and her dickwad. The beginning seemed a bit slow but it was worth it getting to the "good stuff". Nice work.

An amazing and very well told tale.

There was far too.much waffle to start with. Okay the guy is an arbitrator but why repeat it over and over. I thought the confrontation was very well done and from the point of view of your exercise of cutting the usual bullshit with bugging everything and emptying radio shack not to mention the 401 (cut and paste the rest), I think you succeded totally. Very realistic and satisfying approach.

I did not want this tale to end. I got that pleasurable feel in my gut from the emotion of the characters and the drama of the outcome and the expectations of the future for Kristi and James. I only hope that you or someone will se fit to follow this story to a plausible conclusion.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Nice story hope that's not the end.

Quibbling with plot details is pointless. It's the writing that stands out.

I have really enjoyed all his stories. Here's an interesting (to me) observation. In each story (I am omitting the Ingram story) the cheated on husband meets the guy his wife chested with, and the husband's response keeps getting "bigger".

In "out of live", Jim had been Jace's friend and tried -however hamhandedly- to keep Jace and Chloe together. So Jace doesn't really do anything to Jim, though he trusted him less.

In MetaMorph, Greg ( the trainer/FB) and Dan get along, but part of Dans motivation is to get to try to best Greg. In their fight, Dan does get in some good shots. But again, the FB is not unambiguously bad and is arguably good.

In "Live from the Game", Ryan meets Jordan at his apartment, plants bugs and outs Jordan to the world (at the stadium) and his wife. Definite strangle the strange.

In "Words", Mike threatens and later pummels James after threatening him, almost breaking his finger and verbally abusing him.

Anyway, may not mean much, but I thought it was an interesting pattern and progression.

P.S. I do hope to see more of Ryan and Deanne. While I deplore her behavior, I actually think a reconciliationt there is possible. While she internalizes a lot of BS test cheaters use, she at least has enough respect for Ryan that she doesn't pretend (like Kristi or to a lesser extent like Chloe) that what she did was okay. Whether Jezzaz puts them back together or not, I would like to read more about their tale.