by twelveoone
A five star poem. It creates the images and atmosphere perfectly. A lovely moment shared. Thank you.
Tess
"The tall saguaros stand in silhouette
in gross pirouettes
of surrender"
It gets a 10.
Nice work
in crisis ....words are packed with wake up images...held my attention ...most impressive...blue
utiful imagery, with a lot of feeling here. Almost showing a romanitic twist then you spin us out with dust in our eyes. Love it my friend ~
Great to see you back posting.
One criticism or maybe it is the way I'm reading it, 'quick' at the end of the line 'I feel the temperature drop quick' rather clangs for me. Other than that, I really enjoyed the complex simplicity. ;-)
bb
"As I read this I heard something by Ennio Marricone." You too, Bill? BB, "quick" I'm glad clanged.
It's an intriguing poem with some very well done language. I like/understand some lines better than others, but really excellent on the whole. Did you mean "through fingers of clouds" or otherwise? I love "I watch the stars spin away"