All Comments on 'Gravity, And The Power It Holds'

Science with Literature ! high-5 ed

but where does it go

Some interesting poetry today! When I clicked on this, I did not expect something this good, but the title drew me in. Nice work! All were good, but the last stanza is the best :) imho

I really liked your choice of words and poem. Very nicely done. However... I also feel some of those lines, or bits of them were forced, perhaps to keep the format. For example, s2,l2: "Every scrap of any" feels strange to me. It reads better in my mind simply as: "Tyrannical presence rooted deep, all reality infused with its touch".

Also, s2,l3: "Bending all where it must". Where it *must*? Where is it that gravity *mustn't* bend? (Perhaps I don't know enough about the subject, but it just feels wrong to me.)

You lost me at s3,l3: "One presence to give possibility". I scratched my chin trying to figure it out, but came up with nothing.

I really like your s4. Only a note: shouldn't it be: "Will it hold its shackling and *create* reigns of order" (create, rather than "creating").

Again, very cool poem. Forgive my nitpicking.