All Comments on 'Lullaby'

i mentioned this poem in the New Poem Review thread in the Poetry Forum. please feel free to come along and join in with other poets. the 50% temperature rating i've given you is so that it does not affect future temp ratings. - wildsweetone.

Nice, I particularly like the opening line ....

...."The smoke and ash voice from your Marlboro mouth"... it grabs the attention and sets the scene right away.

Tess

The last line is a little weak, perhaps you could leave a space and make "The sweetest lullaby" a line unto itself. Otherwise, quite cogent and well written. Bravo!

of sheer brilliance. Terrific created images. You've got talent girl. But maybe you could have dropped the last line completely.