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Click here'Time out'
hold the phone
put on the brakes
stop the presses
desk cleared in one rake
Like the eyes of a skull
watching me
Your not here
but I feel your stare
My whole mental world
comes to a red light
when I think of you
my escalator stops
gazing into your pools
from memory
trying to see what
was at the bottom
of your deep water blue
recalling words
that stung like a slap
mixed with images
of you on your back
abstract smiling eyes
moon light on your thighs
moon pie tittie
lapping hungry lips
rumped and rode
like a washing machine
cat claw rake and bite
wild hair on a full moon
I've looked down the barrel
of your intended words
daring you to shoot
so I could see your fire
there is still the smoldering
scooping from a muddy pool
and trying to throw water
back up to the falls
futile in a raining down pour
of memories
I can still feel the pain
of cupids broadhead
that tore through my heart
It rips my soul
the different roads we go
Like a candle in a blizzard
it's all I have
to keep me warm on a cold night
visions of you
in the dim light
The lights been green
for quite a while
but I have to take 'Time out'
when I think of you
The washing machine is great, so easy to put yourself there. This made me think of rock and roll, don't know why it just has a beat to me. I like it a lot.
and timing
abstract smiling eyes
says it all
a great line
agree with some of the others, needs a little tweaking
My Goddess, Art! You really took Me on one helluva breathless ride tonight with this one! Geeeez! I'm NEVER gonna get over the pneumonia THIS way!<gasp, gasp> But it was well worth the money spent on the iron lung <wink>
Still outta breath~
Vixxx
The reference to the red light/green light, brings to mind stopping at a crossroad in our life, in which we look back on the distance we've traveled and in which we decide in what direction we now want to head in. I also loved the following passage,
"Like a candle in a blizzard
it's all I have
to keep me warm on a cold night
visions of you
in the dim light"
Great images throughout.
The first line brings so many thoughts to my mind... a child in need of discipline, strategical methods in sports for winning the game, and an all out retreat from reality. A great first stanza that builds. Like Eve I feel some tweaking is needed for I believe the poet can use more original descriptions..."pools" etc. but over all a wonderful read, variations in rhythm and speeds... stop and go that feels like a heart beat....
Du~
Mentioned in the Sunday reviews.