A Certain Kind Of Balance

We went to a neighborhood restaurant just off-campus. As soon as we arrived, I took off my tie and stuck in the inside pocket on my jacket before taking it off.

Carmen I learned was twenty-two, Corinth was just about to turn twenty-one. I admitted I was twenty-six. We got into a big discussion about relationships and what we look for when we are considering dating. I left them feeling better about myself for a long time. They, although not knowing it, had reaffirmed my belief that I could relate to the opposite sex. By the end of the evening, we agree to stay in touch, and we did but over time it faded out.

******

Present Day

I had just finished working for the day on the part of my old farmhouse I was remodeling. I had inherited it from my grandfather and had been working on it for years. The lower floor was completely done. I was now focusing my attention on the back of the second floor, the last area needing to be redone. When the doors and trim were put in I would be finished.

I was deciding what to make for supper when I got called by Pamela Mayo. She had a huge problem. An old friend from her university days had just moved into the area and was coming for dinner. Herbert her husband a friend of mine thought that I should join them so he would have someone to talk to since their evening would be spent primarily with them catching up with things.

I could just see Herb dealing with two females talking about the good old days, eventually climbing the walls, especially after their kids went to bed. So, I asked what time she would like me to be there. She said seven. After a quick shower and a shave to clean myself up, I headed out, wearing a clean pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a denim shirt long-sleeved left open.

On the way over, because it was a nice spring day, I stopped and picked up a large couple bottles of red wine and some spring flowers for the host. Pamela loved flowers and Herb didn't see the value in spending his hard-earned money on them.

Herb greeted me at the door and warned me about Pamela's visiting girlfriend.

"Not only is she a looker Adin but she sharp and intelligent," He said. "She's single so let me warn you that if she finds you interesting, she might start flirting with you."

I laughed and said "I've been immune from that for years. I've been a confirmed bachelor for too long, not going to change now. We both know that, I'm just to set in my ways."

"When are you going to let go of what my sister and the idiot did," Herb asked? "You'd make a great father. My kids think you're the greatest uncle. We both know that so let your guard down and start living."

"I forgave them years ago because I learned that I had fallen for someone like my mother," I said. "So since then, I have been painfully aware of my weakness for women just like her. I protect myself from getting involved with their type and so far, it's worked very well."

"Adin," Herb said. "I love you like a brother, but you have to convince yourself that not all women are like your mother and my sister. Pamela's lady friend is the first woman since I have met the wife that had me looking again before I snapped out of it."

I laughed, and said, "Pam would cut your balls off if she ever thought you were interested in another woman."

"Oh, I know it," he replied. "I've been happily married to an eight, but her girlfriend is a ten."

Just then Pamela and her girlfriend walked in, taking me completely by surprise because it was Carmen. We looked at each other in total shock. Pamela watched as we both ended up with big grins on our faces. I saw Pam relax immediately because she could see our mutual attraction.

Carmen was five foot seven, a natural blonde whose long straight hair hung down below her shoulder blades. She had an hourglass figure. A nice full set of breasts with curves that complimented her personality and it showed. Her sparkling hazel blue eyes shone as she looked at me. I got the feeling that Pamela was enjoying this because she got a huge dumb ass smile on her face. She was dressed in a dress that suited her personality to a tee.

I was still a lean mean machine as my friends said. I was five foot ten with a thirty-two-inch waist. At my age, I could still crawl through an old milk box if a house had one that was a standard size. My diet was such that I did not gain much. I ate healthily more on the protein side instead of carbs and it suited me well.

My brownish red hair was starting to show signs of thinning out but for most part, it would still be a good head of hair, with blue eyes. Most of my friends felt I needed to be fattened up.

I handed Pamela the flowers and said, "These flowers are for you. Where do you want me to set the wine bottles?"

"Give them to Herb he'll look after them," Pamela said. "Adin this is my friend Carmen, and like you, she's not married. The question is how do you two know each other?"

"I gave a speech on her campus a few years back and we met," I explained. "Nice to see you again Carmen how's Corinth?"

"She's doing good, has graduated and gotten herself married," Carmen explained.

Herb and Pamela left the room together. That allowed us to break the ice and by the time they got back with a glass of wine for us, we were talking like we did the first time we had met. Pamela got a kick out of the fact that we seemed to have picked up where we had left off. She noted that we seemed to be quite comfortable sitting beside each other on the couch.

Herb couldn't help noticing our attraction for each other and quipped sarcastically, "So much for immunity."

During the evening Carmen brought out the point that she had finally picked up one of my self-help books on self-improvement and had actually found it quite stimulating. Pamela asked what books, so Carmen told her.

"Adin, I didn't know that you were Mister Nobody and I have read two of your self-help books," Pam said. "Why didn't you tell us."

"Because Adin has always been a private man," Carmen said. "It took me and my sister two days to find out what his real name was. The question I have always wondered is if Adin had always been like this?"

"No," said Herb, "My sister caused him to lose the ability to trust. Since then he has no longer jumped in but stands at the edges as the reliant one, as if watching over everyone to protect them. Hopeful if you're around long enough he might open up."

I guess Carmen got a look of puzzlement on her face because of what Herb had said.

"Let me put that a bit better," Herb said. "He grew up and became a man quite different from before. He went through a period where he was reinventing himself by letting go of certain values that seemed no longer valid. He no longer went along to get along. He backed away from a lot of causal friendship and focused more on himself. Life had forced a hard lesson on him and as a result, he became a changed man."

"I decided to let go of those things that were not making me a better person," I explained. "Like friends who were only friends because I like to party and be the center of attention."

Thus, Herb had to explain the story of his sister and me all over again. As he when through the highlights of the story Carmen sat beside me holding my hand in friendship. She got attentive when Herb disclosed how far I had allowed myself to be taken down because of them.

"You were telling the truth when you gave that speech," Carmen whispered in my ear. "My sister and I had often wondered."

When Herb was done Carmen asked, "Adin are your parents still together?"

"No, they're not," I said. "It took them a long time to realize, as a couple, that they were destructive to each other. Each one brought the worst about the other out. Once they got divorced, they both became better persons and now live a good moral exclusive life with their new spouses. As far as I know, they have been faithful to their new partners in their new relationships. They are better friends now than they ever were as a married couple."

"What about you," Carmen asked? "Are you actively looking for a new relationship?"

Everybody looked at me. I knew Pam and Herb had been wondering the same thing for years. I knew that I had to answer that question very carefully.

"Between writing, speeches, and remodeling the farmhouse," I said. "I've led a busy life. Dating by choice has not been a priority. To be honest, Carmen the last time I went to a restaurant with the opposite sex was with your sister and you."

Carmen looked at me with eyes that showed their surprise then said "Were going to have to change that. Starting next Friday, because some of the staff at the hospital are having a welcoming party for me, and you're going to be my date."

"You think," I said with a small laugh.

"I know, you are still just as interested in me," She responded, "as I am in you."

"So, what's your story," I asked?

"Believe it or not," Carmen said. "I've dated a few but nothing serious. My problem was the fact that most of the men came across as being kind of full of themselves. I just realized seeing you again that they were the opposite of you and more like my Father."

"Sounds like me and my relationship in general with females," I said. "So, have you accepted the fact that you're more like your father than your mother?"

Carmen burst out laughing. Herb and Pam looked puzzled because they couldn't see what was humorous about the question.

"I walked right into that didn't I," Carmen said while still giggling. "Pam you got to understand that when Adin and I met those first few hours were spent with the two of us walking into something that could be taken the wrong way. Both of us saw the humor of it and It's so refreshing to see that for us it's still the same way."

It took all of us by surprise when Carmen leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before saying, "When I listened to his discourse, I did not realize until later how much of what he said hit home. Over the next few weeks, both my sister and I found who we associated with changed as we developed new understandings about ourselves. You were right because it changed our whole outlook on life and what we wanted out of it."

******

I met her at Bythia's on Bythia at seven pm that Friday night. She was watching for me to come in. I had dressed casually in black dress pants, a blue shirt, and my sports jacket. One of her co-workers noticed me right away and asked, "Who is that good looking man."

"He's one of the reasons I accepted the position at the hospital," Carmen said. "Adin is a personal friend and I want to find out if there could be anything more between us."

Carmen stood up so I could see her. She looked stunning in the dress she was wearing. I guess my face showed it because she got a huge smile on her face. I walked over to her to discover she had saved me a seat. After sitting down beside her introductions were done.

I ordered a drink because we were waiting for a few more of her new coworkers to join us. I got asked what I did for a living and responded with the explanation that I wrote self-help books for the do it yourself folks. Carmen got a kick out of that because it told the simple truth without explaining anything.

Carmen told them the story of her and her sister being on a break and getting robbed and having to hitchhike home because of a lack of funds. She explained that they both had put multiple outfits on in an attempt to disguise themselves.

"It was Adin who offered us a ride," Carmen said. "We have been friends ever since."

When the table filled up, we gave our orders. Carmen ordered Sheppard's pie I got the Irish Lamb stew with cheddar biscuits. By the time the dinner was done we saw the band setting up. I asked Carmen if she wanted to stay for a few dances and of course, she did. We ended up staying until the last song was played. I walked to her car before heading off home.

I was busy sanding down a door Saturday morning when Herb and his daughter pulled in. I told little Linda Sue that there were popsicles in the fridge freezer that she should go get herself one. At six years old she squealed in delight and ran off to get herself one.

"Adin, you old dog you," Herb said. "You haven't lost your touch. Pamela is already talking about your wedding date."

"Herb, we haven't even had our first date yet," I said. "Why has Pam decided that Carmen is my one?"

"Don't know," he said. "I woke up late last night to discover Pam talking to Carmen on the phone. I got the impression that all Pam was doing was answering questions. It appears that you have somehow got Carmen very interested."

"Sounds like Pam is more excited about the possibility of us being us," I said. "Then either Carmen or I am."

Herb laughed and when his daughter came out, they headed out. Herb was smiling as he said, "Be sure to let me know how it feels to be chased."

I had just finished staining the door for the last bedroom I was remodeling when I saw her drive-in. As she climbed out of the car, I saw she had brought a picnic basket. I have to admit she looked good and wholesome in blue jeans, but I knew the ins and outs about marketing a product. So, I had my guard up.

"What time did you get up," Carmen said as she walked towards me?

"About six," I said. "I thought I should get my stiffness out before the sun rose high into the sky. After all, I still have a lot of work to get done."

"Do you ever stop moving," Carmen asked? "Because you always seem to be moving even when you are sitting."

"I was hyperactive as a child and I guess I still am," I replied. "In adult life, it served me well as I see myself being very productive in my life so far."

"Close up your stain can and wash your hands," Carmen said, "I'm willing to bet you haven't even eaten yet today."

I had to laugh without showing it because to do so would let her know that she was right.

I followed her into my kitchen. Carmen seemed to be impressed the kitchen had been fully modernized and made up to date. It had a bar counter and an island. She seemed impressed with the pull out deep drawers for the pots and pans.

"Does you wood cookstove work," Carmen asked as she checked it out.

"Not at this time it don't," I responded. "It needs to be filled up with wood and started on fire before it could."

"Smartass," she said with a smile. "Where do you keep the wood?"

"Outside the back door stacked against the wall under the roof of the porch, I explained. "I also have a huge generator for when the electricity goes out. Why?"

"My grandmother and I used to cook on hers all the time," Carmen explained. "During bad winter storms, it was a lifesaver. My grandfather kept the whole house warm with it when the power was out. It's nice to find a man who still finds value in the old ways."

"Ah then step out onto the porch," I said as I opened the door.

As soon as she stepped outside, she saw it said, "Does the old hand water pump still work."

"I use it weekly when I water the outside flowers and plants," I said, "and have the water tested for purity twice a year."

For some reason, Carmen got a tear in her eye. I just assumed that what she had seen in my house was bringing a lot of good memories back into her mind.

With the kitchen fully explored Carmen unpacked the picnic lunch and I have to admit I was impressed. She had made egg salad sandwiches with onions, herbs, salt, and pepper. Along with some homemade potato chips. She had two small glasses and a bottle of wine.

It's a good thing she had made lots because I had overeaten. I told her it had been a long time since I had tasted food as good as that. After cleaning up I took her for a two-cent tour of my house. She was surprised by how warm and inviting it was.

On the main floor was the kitchen, formal dining room with table chairs and a complete set of Royal Dalton with service for twelve. The living room with the fireplace and chimney which now had an insert placed in it. A mud/laundry room and a half bath. Finally tucked under the stairs heading upstairs was my small office for working in.

Carmen asked about the china set and I told her that it had been my grandmother's. I pointed out that I had never used it but did clean the whole set at least twice a year.

I had remodeled the second floor to make the master bedroom larger with its master bath and two walk-in closets. The three remaining bedrooms shared the other bathroom. Each of them had larger than normal closets. But what surprised her the most was the linen closet I had built in which hid a mini washer and dryer inside of it.

The whole house had been drywalled and painted twice. The only thing I was working on was redoing the doors and the trim.

"You remodeled this old home to be one that should be filled with love," Carmen said. "My grandfather always said that when you're finished making the changes you want in your home that you should ask God in prayer for his blessing on it. He would always ask for the home to become a haven from the problems in the world."

"Your grandfather sounds like a wise man," I responded. "If it wasn't for the memories, I had of this place growing up it would have cost less to tear down and rebuild then to remodel it for sure."

"Why was it passed on to you," Carmen asked?

"My brother has a different father," I explained. "My grandfather wanted this land passed on to someone related by blood because it's been in our family for ten generations. My brother and four sisters got cash from his estate and I got the farm."

"I think your grandfather would be very proud of what you did with the place," Carmen said. "I know because mine would have."

Carmen saw how her words touched me and said, "My grandfather had his moments when he got sentimental too. It's nice to be with a man who's not afraid to show it."

I took her out into the back yard to show her the patio as I had laid it out, with the gas barbeque and flat grill. The picnic table and lounge chairs spread around. She loved that it a high roof built over it with a few skylights to allow the sun to come through it and a huge fire pit.

We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing before deciding to go out to Red Lobster for supper. Carmen noted that she was able to get me to relax. Over dinner, she asked what my plans were for Sunday. I explained that besides going to the non-denominational church for service in the morning nothing. When she found out the service started at ten-thirty in the morning, she told me to pick her up at ten.

******

The pastor and his wife were surprised when I arrived with Carmen on my arm. Both of us carrying our different bibles. The Pastor noted mine was the same one he used regularly. I had been attending regularly by myself, so he thought that we were in a serious relationship. Since I had introduced her to him, he welcomed her warmly and introduced her to the congregation as my girlfriend.

We ended up going out for lunch with him and his wife after the service. It was an interesting lunch as they tried to discover things about us, as being us. One of the things Carmen disclosed was when she had seen my kitchen, she felt like she had come home.

When questioned by the pastor's wife Carmen explained that the old wood cookstove gave a sense of security that she had felt when she spent a lot of time with her grandparents with her sister. It was a haven that they had gone to when their parents were having difficulty which we were all left with the impression was a lot.

The Pastor suggested the idea that he wanted me to become his assistant and fill in for him when the need came up. Carmen looked at me and smiled and said. "Adin would be a natural at it. I think it's a great idea."

"If you were to do a sermon what would be the subject of your first sermon," The pastor asked?