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"So that's why he'll be coming over more?"
"That's right."
"But he'd want to see you more than me?" At this question, Riley's amazement dimmed somewhat, the tiny frown returning.
"Riley, sweetie, Hayden will still want to see you as much as me," Anna assured him, reaching across the table to pat his hand. "He cares about you a great deal and that will never change." Her stomach clenched at the words. However much she wished they were true, she shouldn't make any such claim without having spoken to Hayden first. Even as she worried about it, something told her Hayden wouldn't be the kind of guy to ditch a child even if their relationship didn't work out.
"Will he?" Riley asked, sounding doubtful.
"Absolutely," Anna replied and gave his hand a squeeze. "Don't worry about that, sweetheart." Riley nodded, looking satisfied by her words. "Sometimes though, Hayden and I might go out together, just the two of us. You'd probably be hanging out with Nick and Kevin those times. Would that be all right?"
"Sure," Riley replied and smiled before taking another enormous bite of his sandwich. "I don't know why you want to be boyfriend-girlfriend anyway. Some girls at school say they want boyfriends but they're all ugly and gross."
At that, Anna laughed outright, patting her son's hand before sitting back in her chair and lifting her sandwich. "You might not always think so, Riley," she told him and laughed again when he gave her a disgusted look.
"Does this mean Hayden will sleep over?" Riley asked a moment later, almost making Anna choke on her food.
Eyes watering, she chugged half her glass of milk before looking at her son. "Uh, no, not necessarily."
"Why not?"
"Well, because... we don't... it's not..." Anna shook her head as she stammered. "Not on school nights," she concluded after a second.
"Oh," Riley sounded disappointed.
"Why do you ask?" Anna asked, terrified that her son was going to tell her about some adult gossip he'd heard and didn't understand.
Riley shrugged, downing more of his sandwich; he'd probably be ready for a second soon. "It would be cool if he was around some mornings to take me to practice or my games, that's all."
Anna blinked, not expecting that answer at all. "Well, Riley, why don't we ask him when he comes tonight?"
Riley perked up at her words, his smile returning.
"Don't forget that he has a very busy schedule too, sweetie," Anna cautioned. "He won't always be free to drive you to hockey."
"I know," Riley replied. "Even once would be awesome!"
Anna laughed and agreed with him. Yes, having Hayden around for some mornings would be awesome.
***
Over the next couple weeks, the three of them settled into an easy routine. Hayden spent all of his free evenings at Riley and Anna's house. As Anna had explained to Riley, Hayden only slept over on weekends, not school nights. When he went on his road trips, Hayden kept up his daily phone calls and felt his affection for the mother and son growing with each passing day. Riley had even requested that Hayden be the one to tuck him in once or twice when he was over at their house. Since Anna hadn't seemed to mind, Hayden took great pleasure in speaking with Riley as the boy got into bed and then tucking the covers around him. As always, Riley surprised Hayden with his insight and hockey knowledge and as the days passed, Hayden looked forward to those evenings when they could all spend time together.
The days were growing very short when Hayden found himself standing on a busy street, trying to shop for Anna's Christmas present. He stood in front of a shop window and scowled at the merchandise within. None of it looked right. It had been three solid days of hockey and Christmas shopping and he was no further ahead than when he'd started. Huffing out an annoyed sigh, he shoved his hands in his coat pockets and turned away from the shop. He faced the busy street and looked around for his companion on this shopping trip, his team captain, Nathan. Spotting the other man leaving a store just two doors up, Hayden hurried along the sidewalk to catch up with him.
"Where are your bags?" Nathan asked as he adjusted the plastic bags in his hands. He eyed Hayden's empty arms and lifted an eyebrow at him. "You still can't decide?"
"No," Hayden replied in a grumpy tone. "I had no idea shopping for her would be so hard."
"Just Anna? What about Riley? Did you already get him something?"
"Oh yeah, he was easy," Hayden said and smiled. He was pretty proud of his gift for Riley; tickets for him and three friends to every Friday and Saturday night game at Joe Louis until the end of the regular season.
"You just can't figure something out for his mother," Nathan stated.
"No," Hayden sighed, his smile disappearing. "What did you get your wife?"
Nathan's eyebrows shot up again and he grinned. "I got her diamond earrings and a matching bracelet. I also got her a cashmere scarf. Oh, and a couple books she was asking for and a gift certificate to a spa."
"All that?"
"Well, she's my wife."
"You're no help at all."
"Why don't you buy Anna some nice earrings?" Nathan asked as they moved along the busy sidewalk. It was midday on one of their days off, a week and a half before Christmas.
"I'm not sure what she'd like," Hayden replied honestly. As he thought about it, he couldn't remember ever seeing her wear earrings. He didn't even know if she had her ears pierced, which made him feel like an idiot for not knowing such a simple thing about her. It had been over two months since they'd first met and he didn't even know what her favorite color was. It was beyond frustrating, which was why he hadn't been able to pick out a gift for Anna. Not one single gift.
"Women always like diamonds," Nathan said with a chuckle.
Hayden glanced sideways at his friend and nodded. He supposed that was true but maybe he would skip the earrings and get her a diamond necklace instead. Then he wondered if she'd be offended by a more expensive gift. She was definitely the independent type and Hayden worried that she might see a lavish gift as an insult.
"There's a jewelry store just around the corner that I've been to before," Nathan suggested when Hayden didn't shoot his idea down. "Why don't we go in and you can just look around?"
"All right," Hayden agreed, his warm exhalation misting the air in front of his face. "I guess I've got nothing to lose at this point."
Nathan nodded in agreement and led the way around the corner.
A few days later, Hayden hummed along with the radio as he drove to Anna and Riley's house. He had a game that night but he wanted to see them and drop their presents off to place under their Christmas tree.
He hurried up the front walk, shivering from the brisk cold and knocked on the front door. It wasn't Anna who answered the door and for a moment, Hayden frowned, wondering what in the hell Kevin was doing in the house.
"Hi, Hayden," Kevin greeted him warmly and stepped back to let him into the house. "Wow, it's freezing out there. Come in quick!"
Hayden did and turned to smile at the other man as he took his jacket off, carefully holding on to the gifts for Anna and Riley.
"How's it going?" Kevin asked, still smiling at Hayden. "Are you all set for your game later?"
"Yeah, I think we're ready," Hayden replied and hung his jacket up in the closet. He wasn't sure how he felt about Kevin being here, acting like a host in this house. "Where are Anna and Riley?" he asked.
"Anna just ran upstairs for something and my daughter is watching Riley and Nick over at our house," Kevin replied. "Come on in. There's coffee on, if you're drinking it today."
"No, I'll pass. I'm going to be heading home for a nap later before the game," Hayden replied.
Kevin threw a grin over his shoulder at Hayden as he walked into the kitchen. "Man, I wish I had your job."
Hayden smiled. It was a common reaction from fans and friends. Most people worked nine-to-five jobs and didn't have the option of napping each afternoon. "Yeah, but you probably wouldn't want to spend your evenings getting tossed around on the ice."
"You have a point there," Kevin replied with a laugh. He sat down at the kitchen table and picked up a half-full mug of coffee, sipping it. "Have a seat."
"I'm good, thanks," Hayden replied, preferring to stand against the counter. He eyed Kevin and watched him shuffle some papers around on the tabletop. Hayden wondered if he'd have to keep making small talk with this guy. He was saved by Anna's appearance in the kitchen a few seconds later.
"Hayden!" she exclaimed and a brilliant smile broke across her face, making Hayden feel like a rock star. "I thought I heard someone knocking on the door."
Hayden nodded, stepping forward to take her into his arms. She turned her cheek up for his kiss before he could plant one on her lips, which is what he really wanted. She was flushed under his lips and he didn't know if it was because she was happy to see him, or embarrassed to be embracing him in front of her next-door neighbor. So he released her, keeping one hand on her waist as she moved away, still smiling.
"I didn't think we'd see you today," she said. "We were all going to watch your game on TV later."
"Oh yeah?" Hayden replied, glancing at Kevin who nodded with a grin. What the hell is this guy's problem? Hayden wondered unkindly. Does he have to stare at us like a voyeur? "I hadn't planned on coming over but I wanted to give you these." As he spoke, he pulled the two small packages out from behind his back and handed them to Anna.
"Oh, Hayden, how nice!" she gushed as she took the festively wrapped packages. "You didn't have to get anything for us."
"I wanted to," he replied and smiled as her blush turned a darker shade of red. "I wanted Riley to see his under the tree before Christmas."
"That's very thoughtful, Hayden," Anna replied and leaned toward him on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. He gave her waist a squeeze and grinned when he felt the shudder run through her body.
Take that, neighbor-man, Hayden thought, glancing over at Kevin.
"We were actually just talking about our Christmas plans," Anna said as she stepped back.
"Your... plans?" Hayden echoed, looking back and forth between Anna and Kevin.
Anna moved over to the table and set the two small, slim presents on top. "Sit, Hayden," she said, patting the seat between her and Kevin. "Yeah. We always do something together with all the kids. I have no other family besides Riley and I know how boring it is for him without someone else around to share his toys and games with."
Her tone was sad even as she smiled at Hayden and he sat down in the offered chair. He'd forgotten about her parents being gone and felt like kicking himself for being so insensitive.
"I think it was two Christmases ago that we decided to spend Christmas morning together," Kevin added and downed more of his coffee. "It's sort of become a tradition. We gather at one of our houses, let the kids go wild, then have a nice brunch."
"Then Kevin takes his kids to his parents' place for dinner later," Anna finished, turning her smile towards Kevin. "This year's a little different though."
Hayden smiled, thinking she was talking about his part in her life now. His heart slammed hard against his ribs when Kevin responded though, making Hayden feel as though he'd been blindsided by a six-foot-five, two hundred-fifty pound defenseman.
"My parents are on a cruise for the holidays, so it's just me and the kids," Kevin explained, his smile lighting up his eyes as he turned his gaze from Hayden to Anna. "Anna and I decided that we should spend the whole day together. Even cook dinner!"
Anna laughed and nodded. "I've never cooked a turkey before..."
"But I have and I already told you, you don't need to worry about that," Kevin said. "You just worry about the potatoes and dessert and I'll take care of the rest."
"Kevin, come on!" Anna laughed and suddenly Hayden felt like he was intruding on their conversation.
It was not a pleasant feeling.
When Anna glanced in his direction, her smile faded and she reached for his hand. "Is something wrong, Hayden?" she asked.
Hayden's eyes flashed to Kevin's face and the other man blinked in surprise. Anna followed Hayden's gaze and her lips turned down at the corners.
"Listen, Anna," Kevin said, glancing back and forth between her and Hayden. "I think I'll go check on the kids. We can figure out a schedule later."
"Sounds good, Kevin, thanks," Anna replied, standing up to see him out.
Hayden listened to them chatting in the hallway and his scowl deepened with each light laugh and murmured word that he couldn't quite hear. By the time Anna walked back into the kitchen, he was downright miserable.
"What's wrong?" she demanded, a hard edge to her voice as she walked past him.
"Nothing," he replied sullenly, more than aware of how childish he sounded. He didn't know why this bothered him so much, but it did.
"Don't give me that," Anna scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I have an eight-year old and right now you're acting more like him than a grown man."
Hayden didn't say anything.
"I don't know why you thought it was all right to be so rude to Kevin," Anna went on when he didn't respond. "He's my friend and I'd appreciate it if you could treat him as such."
"He's just a friend?" Hayden asked, the words out before he could think them through. When he looked over at Anna, he felt like a world-class heel. It was painfully obvious that he'd just hurt her deeply with his words.
"Of course he is," she snapped in reply, her voice strained. "What kind of woman do you think I am?"
Hayden swore under his breath and stood up to face her. "I'm sorry, Anna. I didn't mean it like that."
"Then what did you mean?" she demanded, taking a step away even as he moved closer.
That hurt, too. He'd never wanted to drive her away. "I don't know," he mumbled, feeling worse with each passing second. "I just saw you two sitting in here, planning Christmas like I wasn't even in the room and I was..."
"You were what?"
"I don't know," he replied, frowning at her. "I felt... left out."
Anna studied his face silently for a moment, her lips pursed and her body still tense. "I'm not going to apologize for being friends with Kevin and making plans with him."
"I'm not asking you to," Hayden replied.
"Then what do you want me to say? Why are you acting like a child?"
"I'm not acting like a child!" he burst out and strode towards her, capturing her in his arms before she could move away. "I just walked in to find my girlfriend making plans with another man for Christmas and it bothered me. Forgive me if I'm not handling it well but I've never had to deal with something like this before."
"Deal with what?" Anna asked, twisting in his arms and trying to get free. "A woman whose only friend is a man?"
"He's not your only friend," Hayden replied, staring down at her hazel-grey eyes and feeling his groin stir at the snapping fire he saw within them.
"Yes, he is," Anna replied and jerked her body free of his arms. "I've got no family, Hayden, except Riley, and Kevin has been my closest, my best friend for years. I'm not going to change my plans for Christmas because you're jealous of him."
"I am not jealous of Kevin," Hayden protested, insulted by the very thought. Aren't you? A little voice in his head retorted and he scowled.
Anna seemed to agree with the voice in his head. She faced him and rolled her eyes. "Please, that's exactly what you are. You know, I thought you were a better man than that."
"I guess I'm not strong enough to enjoy the sight of my woman being so friendly with another man," Hayden grumbled and winced when he saw Anna's mouth set in a straight line. Whatever she'd been before, now he'd royally pissed her off.
"If you knew your woman even a little bit, you'd know there was nothing to be jealous of," Anna snapped coldly, her emphasis on the words 'your woman' telling Hayden exactly where he'd gone wrong. "Obviously you don't know me at all."
"I do know you, Anna," Hayden replied with a sigh, trying to take hold of her again. She refused, stepping out of his reach and stalking from the room.
"You can let yourself out," she called over her shoulder, leaving Hayden standing in the middle of her kitchen like a fool. A few seconds later, her bedroom door slammed and Hayden cringed at the sound.
With a heavy sigh, he gathered his coat and left, as she'd asked.
***
The game that night was terrible. Hayden wanted to believe that he wasn't the only guy on the team who was distracted but he knew that he wasn't helping matters by allowing his fight with Anna to interfere. All he could think about was Anna sitting at home with Kevin and their kids, watching the game and laughing at his ridiculous antics. The penalty box became a second home that night and Hayden knew the fire spitting from his coach's eyes would not pass him by.
Much later, at home in his bed, Hayden found that he couldn't sleep. He didn't have another game until the day after Christmas so he had nothing but time to figure out how to make it up to Anna. Almost the moment he'd left the house, he'd known he'd been in the wrong. It didn't matter that Anna's best friend was a guy; Hayden should have trusted her enough to know that she would never betray him that way. Hayden felt like a complete jerk for even considering that Anna would do something like that.
Hearing her say he didn't know her at all hurt most of all. What made it worse was that those very doubts had been swimming through his head for a week as he tried to shop for her. Instead of talking to her and spending more time with her, he'd freaked out like... like an eight-year old, he concluded in his head.
I should have kept my stupid jealousy to myself, Hayden thought and squeezed his eyes shut. Kevin is just a friend or sometime in the last several years, they would have become something more. Anna chose me instead.
Hayden sighed and opened his eyes, turning his head towards his window. It was just barely outlined from the street lights outside, casting a bluish-grey glow across the room. He knew he had to find a way to make things right with Anna. He couldn't live without her. Even if it had only been a few months, Anna and Riley had wriggled inside his chest and taken over his heart. He'd be a fool if he allowed her to get away from him.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, he thought and chewed on his lip as he tried to think of a plan. Then he shook his head, realizing that no regular 'plan' would work. He needed to go over to her house and beg for forgiveness. Nothing more, nothing less. If she smiled at him, if her soft eyelashes lowered over her magnificent hazel-grey eyes, he'd be all right. He could survive if he knew she would be with him.
***
The day after her argument with Hayden, Christmas Eve, Anna took Riley to a local outdoor skating rink, their own tradition for the past several years, ever since Riley could skate. She tied on her own skates and tugged her son around the ice, laughing when he turned around to do the same thing to her. Later, they snuggled together under a warm blanket near the fire pit with several other families and sipped their hot cocoa. All through the smiles and laughter though, Anna couldn't shake the sad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She didn't think she'd been in the wrong yesterday when Hayden had stood in her kitchen, all but accusing her of cheating on him but she couldn't erase the image of his wounded eyes. It hurt her more than she cared to admit that he'd even thought her capable of something like that. It also made her feel a touch guilty, knowing now that Kevin had cared for her as more than a friend.
