A Hope for Rauri Ch. 04

"Then who was that?"

"Oh, it was a shell of Gyre-Carling, to be sure. The real queen would never have stood for your impudence. It was a living, breathing shell, and it must have taken a great deal of her ability to create and manage over that distance. Still, it lies dead now and she has lost much strength and power, for she put much of herself into it.

While Rauri and I, though our unsavory acts, have gained. Best of all, she will not slide fully into Baobhan Sith which was my great fear and better still," she grinned as she looked back between the seats at Rauri, "she seems to have gained in that she can now fully complete the shift and yet remain among the living. Do you feel as though you must drink more blood at some point?"

Rauri shook her head, "I was near to losing the middle day meal which I had eaten. It was terrible."

"The wings," Shauna said, "Where did you get the wings? I couldn't believe it when they were just there on you all of a sudden and then you were up in the air. How did you do that?"

Cliodnha smiled, "This morning, I told Wesley that most of the ones which people call faeries do not have wings and it was truth. But there are those which do. I was not always the terrible queen of the Bean Siths, Shauna. I began as one who was much smaller and I have wings. I only used them in the hall because it suited me to then, since I knew that Gyre-Carling had forgotten it."

"But they didn''t look like Faerie wings," Shauna said.

Cliodnha grinned, "The wings which are part of human perception are as the wings of a dragonfly, hmm?"

When she saw Shauna's nod, Cliodnha smiled, "Well they are like that -- on the very small faeries. But if one grows larger, that kind of wing takes little to break and almost nothing to tear, and they will not hold one up even before then. As we grow larger, either out of growing up or only needing to be bigger for some reason, the wings change to more like what I have."

She frowned a little at a thought, "Gyre-Carling has always been a spiteful, nasty thing. She took my male from me when we were very young only to prove to me that she was better somehow. When she saw that I had gotten over losing him, she killed him because she had no love for him anyway.

Before she became what she is, I asked the wise old ones if I might become the queen of the Bean Sith and they granted me that. But it could not have happened at a worse time, for it was just then that Gyre-Carling became queen over us all. I could not withdraw by then and she has been happy ever since to keep me under her heel. I have asked a thousand times to be allowed to step down, but ever she laughed in my face.

She tends to fall into her towering wraths quite often and when she is like that, she seldom thinks if her rage is upon her. It is why I goaded her to go the last step and she did it, so, though I do not have a home and even an idea of how I might go on, I am finally free at last.

She has stripped me of my title, but I live still and if I do not appear in any Sidhe mound and am not seen by others, then I am missing and I now wish to remain so. If she wishes to kill me over what I have done, then let her find me herself. I daresay that I took quite a lot from her today.

If it happens, then we will see who is the stronger and more crafty one now."

Wes grinned over at Cliodnha as they pulled into the lot, "Yeah. Fuck her if she can't take a joke."

It caused Cliodnha to laugh at the absurdity that he'd put into the sound and she nodded finally, "Fuck her indeed."

They decided on take-out meals instead and Wes went inside to order and bring them back to the car before they drove around to the main parking lot and got out to go to Wesley's room to eat.

"One more question?" Wes asked as they all sat down and Cliodnha nodded.

"Why, in the middle of that mess back there, did you refer to Rauri as your daughter, or was that just something said to spur her on?"

Cliodnha looked at Rauri, who looked back for a moment.

"Can we tell them?" Rauri asked, sounding a little tremulous, a little pleading, and quite obviously a lot hopeful.

Cliodnha looked down for a moment and she nodded, "Why not? What is left to hide anymore and we seem to be among some friends."

She looked at Shauna and Wes. "I have done my best to be the best at my task that anyone could want, either in the view of my queen -- if she had been one who would have noticed, or in the view of my subjects.

But I have done things which I might have done better if I were a better person. I fell into a love with a human man. It can happen, as we spoke of earlier.

But it becomes a problem for a queen who must serve an often-ruthless and very cold queen herself. I chose to hide it as best I could, fearing that if Gyre-Carling ever learned of it, then she would command me to kill the very one that I loved.

And so," she sighed, "it was my secret and my happiness.

It also became an even larger problem when I found that I was with his child. It took some thought, but I carried my child and tried to remain out of Gyre-Carling's view at the same time. But that was only the start of my own heartbreak.

I had to leave my child with her father when it became just too dangerous for them. You saw today what harm a spy can do. I knew that one had been placed in my hall even before this one and there have been many. She has not cared -- if she even thought of them -- but most fell by my hand."

Wes and Shauna stared at Cliodnha and she nodded with a certain amount of cold pride. "I have been called the terrible queen of the Bean Sith. I came by that name honestly. Gyre-Carling placed her spies, seeking to know what she could of my hall.

I did what I had to in order to learn of my enemy, seeking to learn what I could of her hall. It is the weakness of spies. The more loyal the spy, the more there is to learn from him or her. None died slowly.

My little girl had to grow up without her mother and my forbidden family was ever in my thoughts. But what could I do?

Before I knew it really, she was grown and in love with a man herself. Her father came to hate me over what was done and so I lost his heart. He perished in a fight somewhere; I do not know much of it at all. I only knew that my girl knew nothing of me anymore, save only a dim memory of someone who her father told her left them because she did not love them.

My daughter was a grown young woman who did not know of her heritage at all.

I watched her often with tears in my eyes, though I wept in happiness as she was wed to a man. It made things easier for me to bear then, because it was plain to my eyes that they loved each other so.

But then the English came and I saw what would happen to my daughter after her loss.

So, I took her with me one day before she died as well.

It was well over a hundred years before I could finally bare my breast and speak the truth to my own grown girl.

Rauri is my daughter.

Together, we have kept the secret until today. It actually feels very good to me to even know someone who I can tell this to."

She looked at Wes and she laid her hand on his wrist, "So now you might see why it was that I did not tell everything.

Even Cliodnha the queen of the banshees can feel fear if there is a threat to the only one that she has left."

"Mother," Rauri said very softly, "I have never doubted you, from the first moment that I learned of it all. Please do not leave me now."

Her mother looked very sad then, "Rauri, I do not know myself what I will do now, where I can go and how I might live.

If you leave, and since Gyre-Carling does not know much of you, then it is the best that I could hope for. If I am found and killed, then you still live and you would be even safer then. It is not something that I wish for. It is only what I can still do for you."

Shauna slapped her hands on both of theirs, almost upsetting everything on the table.

"No," she said, shaking her head, "Just, ... no.

It's not an option, not now that we've heard all of this. I don't see why we can't do SOMEthing better than what I've just heard. Are you with me Wes?"

Wes knew Shauna better than anyone. If there was one thing about her -- one thing out of the countless things that he loved about her, it was this. When she got her back up and her well-concealed stubbornness came to the fore, well that was just the way that it was going to be, that was all.

He thought that at those times, she could be far better than noble. If the world had more people who'd step up because someone just needed a leg up ...

"I'm with you, Shauna," he nodded, and then he turned to Cliodnha, "So tell me honestly. You really did like the states, didn't you?"

She stared at him for a moment and then she began to smile.

"Yes," she nodded, "I did quite like it there. Well, other than meeting one small animal in the dark one night. It was black with white -- "

"A skunk," Shauna smiled, "We knew it when you came to the hotel to meet us. In my world, there are only two things that smell worse; a dead skunk that's been frying in the hot sun for two days and a ripped-open snake."

Rauri looked at Shauna with curiosity, but she noticed Wes' finger waving at her, "No. Don't even think of asking her how she came to form that opinion."

"Do you believe that I can find a place for myself there as well?" Cliodnha asked, and they both nodded.

"Do you really think that we can just leave you behind with nothing and no one at your side?" Shauna asked, "From the way it sounds to me, it's open season on you, if not now, then soon. You need to not be here. You don't have anything, other than your name and if anything, that just damns you."

The other one thought for a moment, "I hadn't thought of it until just now, but I have no name. The banshee queen is Cliodnha and Cliodnha is the banshee queen. The name goes with the place."

"Well, what's your name then?" Shauna asked and Cliodnha shook her head with a shrug. "It has been more than an age since I have heard it. I ... I don't know anymore. I cannot even remember it."

She looked around, "How will we manage where we all sleep?"

They discussed it and all of them bedding down in the room was just absurd. Yet Shauna and Wes agreed that they didn't want the others to sleep without them nearby, since no one was certain that they'd be left alone if they were discovered.

Eventually, it was decided that they'd each stay with one in their rooms, since both had double beds. "We'll have lots of room," Shauna said, "How will you manage?"

"I'll let our ladyship Clio have the bed," Wes smiled, "I can live for a night sleeping in the arm chair. We'll bug out early and with a little luck, we can be home in a day."

With that decided Shauna and Rauri left for Shauna's room.

It got a little weird when Rauri turned and asked about where to go to make water. Shauna hadn't thought of it before, but she guessed that the mother had at least some experience out in the modern world.

So she sighed and smiled as she unlocked her door and led Rauri into the bathroom. With a little explanation, things were fine -- until they decided that a proper wash would be in order, given the things which they'd done that day.

Shauna got the shower running warm for Rauri and waited inside the bathroom to offer instructions over the smallest things such as shampoo before they switched places and soaked every towel before they'd both gotten themselves and their hair dry.

Shauna left the bathroom light on for her guest and they eventually got into the bed where they talked for a while and Shauna decided that she and Wes were doing the right thing. The location was irrelevant as far as this sort of teaching went, she supposed. Rauri would need to learn even if she lived here in modern Scotland.

Eventually, Rauri said her very quiet and humble thanks for everything and they fell still. Before long, Shauna heard Rauri's breathing shift and since she was wide awake at least for the moment, she waited and when she felt that it had been a time, she turned her head, just wanting to look at Rauri for a minute.

The minute became about thirty as Shauna lay thinking of things that the girl would need to learn until she stopped herself, not wanting the immense nature of the task to keep her from getting to sleep at all. She also found herself trying hard not to stare at Rauri's beauty.

It caused her to wonder a few things and she found herself sifting through a few of her memories. At last, she closed her eyes and drifted off. Not long after that, Rauri opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Shauna.

Three minutes later, Shauna opened her eyes and they just looked at each other with smiles. "Too strange sleeping in a bed with a stranger?" Shauna smiled.

Rauri shook her head, "No. I was thinking of how you wish to help me. I wanted to embrace you for it, but I did not wish to disturb you. Also, I feel a little alone, even like this."

Shauna felt her yawn coming to her and she was a little glad of it, so she gave in and then she grinned a little, "It's not worth throwing a night's sleep away over, Rauri. Just turn over and I'll hug you and maybe we can both get some sleep that way. I wouldn't mind at all."

Rauri thanked Shana once again and she turned away.

It felt so good to feel Shauna's arm over her and she said that she felt better like that, so Shauna smiled and hugged her just a little tighter for a moment, just long enough to leave a kiss on Rauri's shoulder.

"Goodnight, Rauri. I know things will get a little strange for you in the next day or so, but we'll get everything smoothed out. Just don't worry, alright? If you do, then neither one of us will get any sleep.

Rauri nodded slightly and said goodnight.

They were still for a moment or two and then Rauri pushed back a little, seeking more of the feeling of Shauna against her.

Shauna liked it, but it also reminded her in a strange way that she'd had more than the beginnings of some hope for the Cu Sith. She tried to push the thoughts from her mind, but they just wouldn't leave, so it was a very strange combination of feelings for her.

Seeking a little more comfort, she laid her cheek against Rauri's shoulder and it felt a little better then.

But there were still one pair of tears which came to her and Rauri felt them and turned carefully.

"What is wrong?" she asked. Shauna didn't want to say anything, feeling incredibly foolish for even wanting to trust anyone. She certainly didn't want to admit it out loud.

But Rauri reached for her face and she kissed Shauna softly, "I have made a friend today -- even two. I cannot even recall that I have ever had even one long ago.

Shauna, I cannot say how it feels. But I know that I want to help."

Shauna nodded and told what was perhaps the most abbreviated version of it that was possible. But Rauri could fill in the blanks. Out of her nature and what she was, she could see and she knew.

"Stop, Shauna," she said, "Do not say another thing. Only ... only cry a little if you must. You are not alone now."

Rauri reached to hold Shauna gently and she stroked her back softly. Shauna looked at Rauri and nodded, her sniffling fading in a few minutes. They closed their eyes and they were both asleep within another two minutes.

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In Wesley's room, they were still talking as Wes opened the minibar "Would you like a drink? There's ice here and a selection of overpriced, and likely crappy booze. I know I'd like one after today."

It was almost the wrong thing to say, and Clio -- as Wes had begun to call her -- said that she was sorry to be even the slightest imposition. It made him chuckle as he poured them both a tumbler of whiskey.

"It's not that. You're not anything of the sort. I only meant that it's been a heck of a day, at least it has for me. I got both my exercise AND three meals inside of what felt like a couple of hours.

And I was given the honor -- even though I'm sure that it wasn't meant for me -- to see you as you probably really are; in this lovely way, and I've enjoyed spending the day with you in spite of what happened or what almost did.

And if that wasn't enough, I saw you in a new way when you and your daughter killed the bitch queen, McNoodle or whatever her name was. I thought you looked very nice. I hope I'm not about to sound even more stupid, but I found that look to be very erotic -- in spite of what you were doing."

Clio appeared astounded, "You -- you liked to see me that way? I was hoping so much that I wouldn't frighten you, though it couldn't have been helped if it had happened."

"Well I wasn't frightened," he grinned, "I really liked it. Maybe you might understand it better if I said that I thought that a naked furry flying girl with hooves was a turn-on that I didn't even know that I liked until then."

She tilted her head, "What is a turn-on?"

He looked a little embarrassed then, but Wes forged through it. "It's an expression for something which can cause arousal. I'm sorry for saying it now. I hope that I haven't offended you. I guess that I just ought to shut up right about here."

Clio was just taking a sip of her drink and she shook her head right afterward, "No-no. It's alright. Like a lot of things which I learn about you, it is a surprise to me, that's all. All this day, I have been hearing what you said in the passageway to me -- that you do not believe in magic.

Wesley, it bothered me and I still do not know what to think. If you do not believe in magic, then how was it possible for you to have done what you did? You and Shauna were so brave to even step before a Cu Sith. No one has done that and lived if the Cu Sith did not allow it. You won because you did not believe.

She looked down, "All of my life, it has been what I have lived and breathed. It is what makes my life possible. It is what makes, ... me ... possible.

But you do not believe --"

He set his drink down and he placed his hand on hers gently, "Listen. In many ways, I tend to oversimplify. It helps me to sort things out quickly. I decide and then I don't need to stop to wonder. I don't have the brain to wonder and plan at the same time -- especially when ... I'm ... wilder. I might have ..."

He shook his head, "No, I know that I said the wrong thing, and I'm sorry for that.

I saw that Cu Sith thing as just a large and probably very advanced dog. Once I had that thought, I could move on to thinking that he probably only knew how to fight like a dog. It caused me to realize that I had the advantage.

Dogs don't fight with their claws. They're mostly for traction if they even have a reason to be there." He smiled very slowly.

"Werewolves tend to put everything into a fight. I can do more damage that way if I save my teeth for ... close-in, you might say.

That's the kind of thing that I mean. Out of all of the things that I saw today, I can say that if anything, ... " he smiled warmly and nodded.

"I believe in you."

She shook her head, "I have always been what I was, before I was queen and during my time. Now, I do not know my name. I do not know anything. I do not even believe in myself anymore."

Wes shifted his hand to take hers into his and he squeezed it gently. "You're facing huge change. It's natural to feel uncertain -- even fear. But I know some things even though I can't explain them to myself.

I've never believed in even one single werewolf story -- and I still don't. Because of what I know of myself and others like me, the stories are all just nonsense -- not a scrap of truth to them, any of them.

But I'm here, aren't I? Shauna is no fantasy, either. I believe in her just as I believe in myself. I believe in Rauri and most of all, Clio, I do believe in you.