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Click hereHope began to heave her light and supple frame up and down, with each movement pulling more and more of Will's inches inside of her.
Will put out a trembling hand and squeezed a tit, marvelling at how he had not previously noticed awesome Hope's rack was.
He rose up to bury his face in these mounds of juicy flesh, ignoring the pain in his shoulder; it was nothing compared to his desperate lust.
"Give me the cum you should be giving Liz." Hope pleaded, swivelling her hips to emphasize her point.
Will scooped her ass in his strong hands and began to lift and drop his mother-in-law over his strident hard-on.
He started to pump his hips, straining to get further and further up her with each thrust.
He pushed up her skirt so he could observe each infiltration.
"Which Baxter woman fucks better, Will? Me or my daughter?" Hope sighed.
"You, Hope...hell, you're the hottest woman I've ever fucked."
Hope began to thrash in his arms as her climax ripped through her. She could understand why her daughter had turned into the slut she was. Too bad Will belonged to her now. Mother knows best; especially when it comes to fucking, Hope thought to herself, in a state of bliss.
Hope slowly caught her breath, even as Will continued pounding away, enough to say,
"I'm tight aren't I, Will? Those years of being chaste and proper weren't wasted, I was waiting for the right man to cum and fill me..."
"Yeah I gonna fill you right up." Will snarled.
Copious amounts of cum surged up Will's thick shaft and spurted into his mother-in-law's taboo cunt. He thought he'd never stop cumming.
Exhausted, they kissed their smiles together and rested in the post-coital glow.
Hope sensed something and turned her head...
A young nurse stood at the door to Will's private room. Her eyes were fixated on Will's filthy, deflating cock, covered in curdling jism, that lay between Hope's slick thighs.
"Ahem..." Hope coughed.
"I...I...I... just came to check Mr Reid's blood pressure...." The pretty girl stammered. The nurse's eyes returned to Will's long flaccid prick, then flicked to Hope's face.
From the way her nipples were poking so evidently from her uniform Hope could tell she was turned on.
Hope looked at the sweaty, flushed boy beneath her and back at the nurse.
"I think it might be a tad elevated at the moment, do you?" Hope said, sardonically.
The nurse beetrooted and fled.
- COMMENTS
fmhpover 12 years agoI did like this story but i didn't as well. I don't think Barnsley is as faithful as he thinks, and for him to give in right at the end when he has his love right infront of him is abit anticlimatic. I do love your description and pace though. Well done.
Anonymousover 13 years agoI'm not as eloquent as the previous poster so you'll have to settle for WOW, I LOVED it!
temptanddestroyover 17 years agoAuthorI'm totally bowled over. Thank you for such a glowing comment; I'm like totally embarrassed.
I actually had a hard time writing this one, so I'm glad that it didn't turn out too bad.
Anonymousover 17 years agoI don't know, but this was hot as hell.
But it also showed skill as a writer, and a deep knowledge of the craft.
While The Princess Bride is entertaining storytelling at its finest, and you borrowed liberally from its premise, you did so in a way that paid homage to it (even including the author's name, William Goldman, which I appreciated), rather than plagiarized, and added your own gifted interpretation to many of the events.
From substituting the mother in law for the father/grandfather, orgasms for pain on the torture machine, sexual prowess for sword fighting skills, I thought it all was well done. I loved making the chief villian a bisexual Duchess betrothing the beloved bride.
You added your own humor throughout. I not only found myself chuckling at your references sprinkled liberally throughout, but your own use of sarcasm and playing on our expectations were cleverly done.
There's also the deftly handled 'story within a story within a story' nesting, a technique which has enthralled audiences since Scheherezade, but is difficult to accomplish without seeming forced. I thought you handled it admirably.
And hotness? Oh my goodness, let me count the ways.
The seduction of the son in law was extremely well played. Switching back and forth between the telling of the story to events playing out in real time never seemed forced or awkward to me. Because of your setup, I found myself identifying with Will. As your story had an impact on me, it allowed me to imagine myself in Will's position, and how my imagination would make me easy prey as well.
But easily where you excel is you never go for the easy payoff. The main character, Barnaby, remains true to his love for so long and in such deliciously sexually tense ways that makes his succumbing both unexpected and completely and utterly fulfilling. I love the fact that you led up to an obvious 'happy' storybook ending, only to have Barnaby choose sexual bliss and leave Applepip in the dungeon. Not that I wanted her to be there necessarily, but it showed how completely Barnaby had given over to his physical urges. Awesome!
And you do similarly with poor Will back in the hospital. Again, a terrific payoff, with the mother in law urging him on with confessions that she's going to tell her daughter everything, ending their marriage in divorce, with Will so far gone he willingly gives it all up for immediate gratification.
I know this had to be a lot of fun to write. I, too, have a special place in my heart for The Princess Bride. However, it's our shared interest in the seduction of reluctant men that is what I most enjoy about your stories. This one was by far your best work, but I feel like you continue to progress with each submission. It's obvious you enjoy the surprise ending, from your first series submission with the guy sending a woman back in time to save himself from his cheating wife, to this one. However, your handling of characters, and particularly your willingness to delay the men in your stories from succumbing to their temptresses, continues to improve.
I've said this many times on these critiques, but it's worth saying again. I really appreciate you sharing your stories with the rest of us, specifically me. You not only enrich my fantasy life, but your storytelling technique in this one particularly entertained me thoroughly as well. I look forward to your every submission. Good luck with your next one. Take care.
