Awakening Ch. 12

I saw in the spotlight on the stage, Suzanne and I dancing, slowly, rocking to the music, her arms around me and her hands sliding up and down my back under my suit coat. I watched us in the elevator as she took off her dress and then ran down the hallway naked, begging me to follow her. I watched the two of us kiss as we stood in her room. The kiss long and wet and passionate. I hadn't even realized just how passionate it was until I watched us from this perspective. No, it wasn't a lustful kiss, it was a very tender, loving you and wanting to be loved back, kiss.

I watched Naomi dance with me as well, I looked stiff and awkward as she practically melted into me. We were only there, dancing, a few moments before the image was replaced by Naomi sitting atop me as I lay on my back, her body bouncing on me and driving us both toward climax. Up and down she bounced, her chocolate body a contrast to mine, as she pounded down on me, mumbling how much she loved me and wanted me. I didn't remember her words before, but hearing them now, feeling her at that moment, her body climaxing around my cock and her eyes looking at me with a longing that I had missed when I was under her. Yes, there was no doubt that it wasn't lust. It was love in its rawest form.

The image slowly faded away, replaced by Amanda, holding me in the night, spooned against me, a contented smile on her face.

Lilly faded back into view as Amanda faded away. "All three of them love you. The question will be, do you love any of them? Do you WANT to love any of them?"

"Right now it's hard to love anyone. I'm almost afraid to touch anyone."

"Why?"

"Because it takes me to their fantasy land. It would be easier if I didn't have this...thing."

"It's the gift you were given. That it draws out as a sexual experience is of your choice, not his."

"You mean I'm causing this?"

She chuckled softly in a way that I always loved so much. "Yes my love. It's up to you how it comes out. It's up to you as well, who it comes out from."

"I can stop it?"

"You can. All you need to do is concentrate on the woman you love, like you did with me."

"But I think of you all the time."

"Not me my sweet. I can no longer be that for you. No, you have a long path to walk and you have to find a new love to walk it with."

"You keep saying that. What does that mean? A long path to walk?"

She smiled at me and didn't answer for long seconds. "All I can tell you is that you needn't be in a rush to come to me here. You have life. You have the chance to be happy and be loved and to love. There is much for you to experience and memories to make in your world. There is time to be happy and to share love. Take that! Use it! Enjoy it. Know that with my dying breath THAT is what I wanted for you." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, because I knew, somehow I knew, that this would be the last time I'd ever see her. "Be safe and find happiness my love. I'll be with you always, even if you can't see me. Now you have three women that want to love you and feel your love back. You may decide that none of them are for you, or you may choose to focus on one of them over the others. It's your life. You must choose how to live it and with who. Just know, that whatever your choice, you will not disappoint me. It's time to go. You are being called back to your own world again. Remember to love and to allow someone to love you back. Goodbye, my love," she whispered as she slowly faded out of my sight.

The pinpoint of light grew slowly, as did the sounds. "Come on Scott! Don't do this!" I heard Andria practically shout at me. I could feel pressure on my chest, over and over, squeezing and pushing. At first it was just pressure, then it was pain. I felt myself choke and thankfully the pain stop, along with the pressure. I tried to open my eyes, holding them mostly shut for moments, blocking the brightness to a tiny slit.

"Oh thank god," Amanda whispered in my ear before her lips touched my cheek. "I thought we lost you. Andria had to do CPR. Your heart stopped."

"Don't worry, I have a long path to walk yet," I croaked out, having some trouble getting my breath. I looked up at Andria, who looked relieved but also seemed covered in sweat, wiping some of it away with her hand.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that kind of reaction was even possible. This medicine... It wasn't supposed to do anything like that."

"It wasn't your fault. Lilly had to talk to me," I whispered.

"Lilly?" She asked looking confused.

"His late wife," Amanda said pushing up and looking down at me. "You saw Lilly?"

I nodded weakly, trying to remember what I'd seen and heard, as it seemed to slowly be fading away, the sharpness of the images slowly growing fuzzy. What wasn't fading was her last words do me. To love and to allow someone to love me back. I realized that my shirt was gone and Andria's hands were bare. I reached out and touched her thigh as she knelt next to me, drawing her attention to my hand. She looked down at it, apprehension written on her face. I squeezed her leg and let my mind flow into and with hers, relief flooding her thoughts. I could feel her desire for learning about my problem, I could feel her desire for another man, and at the same time the disappointment that he didn't return that desire. The desire for him grew in my mind, started to bloom. I could see her undressing, slowly removing all of her clothing until she stood nude in front of me. She stood waiting, patient, but expectantly.

"I'm not him," I whispered into her mind.

"No."

"Do you want this? With him?"

"Yes. So much," she whispered back.

"Then go find him and tell him," I answered her whisper before I stepped back. I walked backwards, one step at a time, watching her nude body become more distant until I turned and walked from her.

She shook her head and looked down at me, curiously at first and then with confidence. "I will," she whispered for real.

"Will what?" Amanda asked curiously.

"Tell the man that I love, that I want him," Andria said. "Just as soon as the medics come and check you out."

"The man you love?"

Andria smiled at Amanda. "Don't worry. It's not Scott. He's a curiosity, not my lover."

I reached a hand out to Amanda and held it, lying patiently for the ambulance crew to get there. I had much to think about. Not the least of which was Suzanne and Naomi. How does a man choose between lovers? How does a man know the right person when she appears? I knew with Lilly. I always knew with her from the instant I saw her.

"Scott." Andria said softly. "You ended that, didn't you? You chose to end that fantasy."

"Yeah." I answered her quietly. "Lilly said I had the power to. I just didn't know I could. Now that I know I can, somehow I also know how."

"But It's not gone, is it? It's still there."

"If I wanted to I could send the two of us to any fantasy in your mind. I know how to reach into your mind, find the strongest sexual images and pull both of us there. Or I can find something else. I know how to find emotions besides lust and desire. I know how to find where you keep love." I looked at Amanda and reached out for her hand, letting my mind slowly filter into hers. In moments the two of us were floating on a foam pad in a pool, naked, cuddling and kissing tenderly. I could feel her desire, not just for my body, but for my love. I pulled away and back to my reality, leaving her there for the moment. I pulled her face down to mine and kissed her for real, a soft loving kiss. Yeah, Lilly was right. I have the tool. And now I know how to use it.

She said I had a long path to walk. Suddenly I wasn't so scared to walk it without her.