All Comments on 'Betrayal'

near the bottom is always good soil. TK U MLJ LV NV

ok what does that letter string mean i have seen you write it before, but never got it

Really one has to feel for Moe. After all he did for the kid..... Though I guess that placing him into the rackets is not always considered a favour.

a bunch of desperate people via providing their records to a loan shark so he can go beat them up is something noble?

What a pleasant surprise, if a little trite. Nicely timed and paced (I think it would make the basis for a book), The lack of sex didn't spoil it (the writing was good!).

I enjoyed it and look forward to more.

excellent work as always

Well as always I can spend an hour or so when you post a new one and know it will be a work of art.

I love Woodmanone's stories but this one is just too silly for words.

A basically good man doing not so good things because of his loyalty - nothing stupid about him or her -

She dealt with tribulation well - they will nake a good pair -

I loved it. A good man improving himself and a good woman getting a good man.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

Loretta had plenty of options. Why did she let Ben get close enough to grab her spray can and cell phone. As big as he was, she could have easily outran him. The local TV stations investigative reporters would eat up a white slave story like this, and force the cops to act; instead of taking payoffs and turning their heads.

And if she did everything you said there would be no story. You do understand that there needs to be a hook to create a story, don't you?

Excellent story, woodmanone.

Most folks don't know how close is too close in a tense situation. Long, long ago in a faraway land, I received some self defense training. Some of the first classes covered how to not need violence to defend your self. One of the things taught was how close you can be and still get hit, grabbed, or otherwise molested. Most people get nervous whenever someone gets in their 'personal space' about 3 feet for strangers. Someone within 6 feet can grab, hit, take a can of your choice out of your hand before you can react, unless you have your finger on the trigger and are all tensed up to squeeze one off RIGHT F--- NOW. Even then he will reach you unless you get a center of forehead shot, body shots just ant good enough when he is that close and armed with a knife or tire iron. So yes, a man with average or better reflexes could have taken the can.

and whose on 1st. TK U MLJ LV NV

It was a bit rushed.

Great little story, really enjoyed,needs some work and a little week in places with factual discrepancies,otherwise pretty decent, look forward to reading more,THANKS.5*****.

Many years ago I read some of your stories. In my senior years, I've gone back

and started to read my favorite authors over again, Your up there in my top 4.

Jim

usmc301@comcast.net

I have read most of your stories I think - don't remember all of the titles. I have read some others but theirs are no match for the way you write in my opinion so I usually come back here and have read some more than once but I'm running out of story titles so will have to continue reading some more than once.

An author should write what he knows - and you obviously don't know anything about topless bars or loansharks. I think you've spent too much time watching The Soprano's or something. This story was just silly.

A college student is teaching in college? She just immediately accepts that she has no choice but to be a dancer/prostitute? A wanna-be-mafia loan shark punk suddenly activates his... what?... super-secret-nationwide-missing-person-investigation-force and finds his missing employee and soon-to-be-prostitute? I stopped reading at that point. Just too dumb.

This may have turned out to have a good ending, but I couldn’t get past the first page. It was just too stupid. Any normal person would have gone to the police.

Not very realistic. 4*

Really liked it

People please remind that the story’s are not true. It’s all in the author’s mind. I thought it was well written and entertaining. Good effort. It’s easy to criticize but it’s difficult to write. I’m jealous that you have the ability to think then write a good story. Don’t pay too much to the critics. I’d like to see their work.