Between the Pages of Adultery Ch. 01

"I will," she confirmed. "Now," said Laura looking around her office just once more, "it's all yours, my friend." With those parting words, Laura left her office for the last time.

Cathy flopped down in the leather chair while still trying to comprehend what just happened. While reaching across the desk for a tissue, something caught her eye. Sticking partially out of the trash can was a box from Frederick's of Hollywood. She knew it was wrong to open it. There was no doubt it belonged to her former boss, but you know what they say about curiosity.

She dabbed her eyes with the tissue then reached in and pulled the box from the can. She laid it on the table and lifted the top. It was certainly a day for surprises. Never in her wildest dreams could she image Laura in such an outfit...then again, she couldn't imagine her cheating on her husband either. I guess we all have a dark side to us, she thought.

Just then the phone rang and brought her back to reality...and so started Cathy's new job.

Laura walked into her home a little after noon. She thought she had everything worked out but all she could do was stand in the hall like a lost puppy. It would be three hours before Ashley got home. I'll go nuts if I just sit and wait, she told herself.

There was still some coffee left. She decided to sit and have a cup while she tried to think of something constructive to do. Her eyes fixated on nothing but air as her mind ran through one scenario after another. At first she tried to think of ways to soften the blow of her confession. Then she remembered what the book had told her; be totally honest, don't make excuses, don't try to minimize the gravity of the situation or the severity of pain your loved one feels, and answer all questions directly and to the best of your ability.

"Mom, are you home?"

Suddenly her daughter's voice jolted her back to the moment. She looked at the wall clock and was shocked to see it was after three.

Fear gripped her entire being. She froze, her body went rigged, her mind went blank as she saw her daughter standing in the doorway. She felt tears filling her eyes but she couldn't move her hand to wipe them away.

"Mom, what's wrong? Are you sick?"

Slowly Laura forced herself back to a conscious state. "No, honey, I'm not sick," she said finally able to wipe her tears. "I've got some bad news..."

"Is it dad," Ashley cried, "Did something happen to dad?"

"No, no, honey, you father is fine," she responded immediately. "It's...your mother has done something bad, very bad, and I need to talk to you about it."

Ashley felt relieved. She thought something drastic had happened, something horrible. So her mother did something bad...this was her mother, how bad could it be?

"Mom, you scared me. Can I get a sandwich or something before we talk? I'm starving."

"Yes, honey, of course," answered Laura grateful for the small reprieve.

With all the energy of a teenager, Ashley navigated the kitchen quickly and deftly as she prepared her afternoon snack and poured herself a glass of milk. She sat down to the side of her mother at the kitchen table.

"Okay, mom," she said just before biting into her sandwich, "what did you want to talk about?"

Laura got up to get the last cup of cold coffee and stuck her it in the microwave. "I'll wait until you're done, honey. What I have to say will require your full attention."

Wow, thought Ashley, this sounds serious. She wasted no time in devouring her ham and cheese. She took the last swallow of milk while her mom quietly sipped the stale brew in her cup.

"Okay, mom, I'm done."

"Let's go into the living, honey. It'll be more comfortable there."

Laura sat on the couch and Ashley sat next to her. Both faced one another with their knees almost touching. Laura felt all the air in her lungs was gone and took a deep breath.

"Honey, I've done something very bad, something that I'm afraid is going to hurt you and your father very deeply, I cheated on your dad."

At first Ashley didn't grasp what her mother was saying. Cheated? Then it hit her, but she had to be wrong, that couldn't be what her mother meant, her mother would never do such a thing.

"What do meant, cheated, mom? You mean you had sex with another man?" she said needing clarification while her eyes were already starting to get watery.

"Yes, honey, I'm afraid that's exactly what I mean," she was barely able to choke out the words.

"HOW COULD YOU, mom, how could you do that to dad?" Ashley exclaimed with tears now streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Laura blurted out, "I'm so sorry to hurt you like this." They almost fell in each other's arm and hugged. Ashley laid the side of her face on her mother's shoulder for comfort but couldn't stop weeping. The two held their embrace, trying to soothe one another while they cried themselves out.

It was several minutes before they broke the clinch. Laura grabbed a tissue and offered one to her daughter.

Ashley was still sniffling as she wiped her nose. "Mom, how you could do this? I don't understand, you love dad, how could you cheat on him like this?"

"It's hard to explain, honey. I bought a book that explains how things like this happen, but after reading it, I'm still not sure I understand it all. I can tell you that my promotion at work played a definite roll. I'd worked so hard through the years, there. When I was finally made the manager it gave me a sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately it also gave me a feeling of entitlement; I needed to enjoy the spoils of my success."

Laura grabbed another tissue before continuing. "According to the book, it's one of the most common reasons successful men cheat. It's a way of extending the control and power they have in the work place, to their personal lives. I guess I felt the same way," she admitted.

"I won't say a thing, mom. I'll never tell, don't worry."

"Honey, this isn't something we can keep from your dad. I have to..."

"YOU CAN'T TELL DAD, YOU CAN'T," Ashley yelled. "Mom, he'll divorce you! You know he will. You can't tell him, PLEASE, you can't!" Again she threw her arms around her mother and sobbed.

Laura's heart was shattering into a million pieces. Why, she kept asking herself, why did she do it?

"Honey, I did a terrible, terrible thing and now I have to try to make things right again."

"But, mom..."

"Honey, what if your dad ever found out on his own? He would be even more hurt than if I tell him about it; and, if that ever did happen, how could I ever convince him to stay with a woman, who not only cheated on him, but kept secrets from him as well?"

"Oh, mom, I'm afraid," cried Ashley. "Daddy's going to leave us, I just know it."

Laura held her sobbing daughter. She wanted to tell her that would never happen, her dad would never leave them, but she knew the reality was, he very well might leave.

"Honey, if it comes down to one of us leaving, it'll probably be me," she said while clearing her daughter's damp hair from her face.

"No, mom. I don't want you to go either. I want us all to stay together."

"I know, I know, honey. I'm going to try, I'm going to try as hard as I can, but I can't promise you."

Laura tried to console her daughter with loving touches as Ashley cried herself out again. By the time she finally started to calm down some, it was almost five o'clock.

"Ashley, I'm so sorry, none of this is fair to you, but I've got to ask you to be brave for me. I'm going to tell your father when he comes home today. As much as I hate to do this, I really think it'll be better if you're not here when I do it..."

"No, mom, don't send me away, please," begged Ashley.

"Honey, I not sending you away. I've asked Mrs. Collins to care for you for just tonight. You'll be back tomorrow, honey, I promise."

"Mom, can't I stay?"

"Honey, when I tell your dad, he's going to be very angry. He's going to have to let that anger out and I'm afraid he won't be able to if you're in the house. Please try to understand, honey. I'm so very sorry for this."

"Okay," responded Ashley wiping her nose again. "I understand. I'll go upstairs and pack."

Laura watched while her brave daughter climbed the stairs. A couple minutes later she heard Val knock.

"Hi," she greeted while stepping in. "How did it go?" she asked in a hushed tone.

Laura sighed. "About like I expected, I guess. The poor girl is devastated. Val, if I live through this I think I'm going to write a book of my own. I want to warn every woman out there about what it feels like to betray your family, the people you love the most."

"Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea, Laura. Maybe it would be therapeutic. Who knows, you might even make some money."

Just then Ashley came walking down the stairs with her overnight bag. "Hello, Mrs. Collins."

"Hello, Ashley," she replied. "I've got fried chicken for dinner tonight."

It was heartbreaking to see the sorrow in Ashley's face, for both women.

"Thanks," Laura told her friend. She looked down at her grief stricken daughter. "I know it's hard, but try not to worry too much, honey. Your dad is a fair man who loves us both very much."

"I love you, mom," Ashley said hugging her mother. As she was walking to the car she turned to beseech her mother one more time. "Mom, please don't tell dad, I'm afraid. I don't want you two to get a divorce."

"Honey, please. It's the only chance we have if we're ever going to be a real family again."

They had one more tearful exchange of goodbyes and Laura watched her daughter and best friend pulled out of the drive. She sat heavily on the first step that led to upstairs. She had to get herself organized. Thinking about her daughter packing for the night made her wonder, should I pack some clothes? It's probably not a bad idea incase Harrison throws me out, she thought.

Laura ran upstairs and packed enough clothes for several days then slid the suitcase under the bed so her husband couldn't see it. As Laura turned to leave she saw her purse on the dresser. She looked at the time on her cell phone; it was five-forty-five. In another fifteen minutes he'd be walking through the door. She took the book from her purse and carried it down stairs with her.

Almost zombie-like, she walked into the kitchen and made a fresh pot of coffee. She couldn't wait for the full pot. Her hand shook terribly as she poured herself a cup. She glanced at the wall clock...ten till.

Laura sat at the table, her heart was pounding in her chest; her eyes glistened with tears.

"Hi, hon, I'm home," she heard as he walked in the front door.

Continued...