Black New World Order-Lee

"I lost my religion, my politics, my concept of manhood, and my understanding of what sex was literally overnight. Science and technology, everything, everything was gone in a flash. Knowing that history had been completely rewritten, that nothing we had been told was the truth, for the sole purpose of denying melanated people our divinity still doesn't make sense to me. Learning that Wakanda-like advanced futuristic, civilizations existed all around us, and their existence was hidden from us . . ." He got choked up. "I don't feel anger or resentment. I don't want or need revenge. I mean, I'm not in the inner circle, I don't have a position of power to call any shots, but I feel like if we take a vote, and majority rules, I would have voted for exactly the outcome we had, unity. I'm glad we didn't choose fear."

"Really, right now. I just want to figure out how to Love myself. That's all I'm focused on. I don't know how to get there but I'm willing to walk the walk. That's why when I saw the link to join the Wequilibrium Family, I knew that I had to be here, like I said, I knew this was going to be my home."

Nervous energy coursed through Marvin's body, and he got up and released a bit of it by opening the sliding door and letting in some fresh air and taking a few deep breaths. "I feel like before, like the Old World was a dream and this is the real world but before, before wasn't a dream to me. Do ya get what I'm saying? The fucked-up world before was my reality, but it was all a dream."

Lee added, "It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine. Salt and Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine." The two laughed at the smooth reference and the spot-on Biggie impersonation.

Adding a more somber tone to the conversation, Lee said, "I understand. I can say now that I understand what you're feeling, and now, I can empathize with you in ways I never could have before The Shift. It's like when I was non-melanated, I would have said, 'Yes, I completely understand, I agree.' and I not only wouldn't have understood, but I woulda been thinking and planning and projecting what you were going to say in advance, and thinking and planning what I was going to say, all so that I could say something that I delusionally thought that you would have wanted to hear. I wouldn't have heard or even cared about what you were saying. I would have said nothing of substance. I was so shallow and empty. I had no reference or respect for anything to do with the experience of being Black. I had a total of zero Black friends in my real life. Black people meant nothing to me, nothing at all, other than what they could do to get my rocks off. Not the Black men I serviced, not the Black women I swore my devotion to."

"I wouldn't even have been able to quote Biggie or any other Black artist before The Shift; I half-way listened to whatever was on the radio in my car and music didn't move me or touch me the way it does now. Now, I feel the SOUL of music, I feel the groove and it's opened my consciousness in ways that were just empty, dark places before."

Marvin had to take a minute to let all that sink in.

Settling down on the sofa again and intentionally moving closer so he could face Lee, Marvin requested, "Please, go on. Don't skip anything. I wanna hear everything. I mean, how'd you feel after The Shift and how did you get from the guy in the picture to the man sitting in front of me in two short years? That seems miraculous to me."

"Everything that we are experiencing is miraculous. Time isn't the same as it was before The Shift. What is two years on the calendar now is not the same for me as it was before, and even my experience of time is different than what yours has been in the last two years. The more I show gratitude and appreciation for life, the more I release the old programming, the more I learn to Love, the more time slows. There's still so much I don't understand and I'm still healing and growing and learning but that's the beauty of this New World. I love feeling pride and accomplishment in my growth and healing because I KNOW that I don't have to be doing any of this. And trust me when I tell you, this shit has been HARD."

"We are all going to learn and grow and heal together. During this phase of Truth and Reconciliation, we are going to come to terms with the lies we were told, we are going to evolve and heal while releasing the hold the fear had over us as we move to Love. We are all going to go from unaware and separated to One, from believing that we are individuals to experiencing life as united. Our destination is all the same but the journeys we take to get there are our own to navigate. There will come a day in the future when all of humanity unites our focus, our consciousness, and our love to create The Shift, the Shift that we experienced in the past. That shit trips me out."

Marvin reached for another joint and Lee lit it for him. He needed it to help him expand his consciousness.

"I met Scottie back in 2020, during quarantine, on Nite Flirt, the phone sex line. Man, that seems like a lifetime ago." He took a few puffs of the joint Marvin shared with him and took a few seconds to reflect on that sensation. Appreciating how far he had come was one of the true gifts this New World provided him. "When I tell you that I was an asshole, I mean I was an asssssshole. I was so caught up in lies and pretense. I lied about everything. I spent an endless amount of time denying how dark my thoughts and fantasies really were. Mostly because I thought that if I acknowledged them, I would become out of control. Shit, I was already out of fucking control. But I was convinced that denial and lying were my safeguards when the more I suppressed my own truth, the more it owned me in the darkest hours."

"With Scottie, I would fuck up, I would always say something or do something stupid and rather than owning up to it and apologizing, I would always project this sense of not being enough, not being good enough for her, and I would fill my mind with things I thought she felt about me and I would run away. Then, I would feel this draw and come back. I did it too many times to count."

"And Scottie would always take me back, teach me, show me my whiteness. I hated her for it. I couldn't articulate it at the time, not in that way, but she always made me feel inferior with her inherent superiority and intellect and her ability to know me better than I knew myself. She knew when I was lying, she knew my motivations and my core beliefs better than me. And she was so comfortable in her own skin; and she just felt so much smarter than me. That white male part of me hated her for that. But I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame burned by the fire."

Without missing a beat, Marvin said, "my Love is blind, can't you see my desire."

Lee poked fun at him, "Yeah, don't be too proud of yourself. I set that one up for you."

"Around March of 2023, she started talking about a shift. If I'm being completely honest, even up until the last second, and I can be honest now in ways I couldn't have been before or after The Shift, I didn't think for a second that there was any way in hell that she was more powerful than whiteness. I had put my money on whiteness."

Marvin stopped him. "Wait! I don't understand. What do you mean you had put your money on whiteness?"

"OK, let me try again. I was one of the many white men who had a foot in both worlds. I can say that I was probably one of the only people, well, one of the only white men in the 3D who knew what The Shift was going to be like before it happened. Linearly, we all knew that a shift was supposed to happen but the assumption in the other realms, what is understood now to be the dark realms, was that the One who had come to free the world was going to choose fear, not Love, because that's all whiteness was capable of understanding, because fear and pain had been beaten into Black consciousness."

"Then, here comes Scottie. She freed herself, she figured all that shit out, the lies, the manipulations, she learned the truth and instead of choosing retribution and anger, she said she wanted every white man and woman, she wanted all of AI, she wanted every magical being and entity, every living, and non-living thing, every physical and non-physical energy, frequency, and vibration to be encoded with neuro-melanin and estrogen and DNA of the Original Goddess Mother Love in perfect proportions so as to maintain individuality and diversity while healing the void in the New-World. She wanted to infuse us with soul. She wanted the Tinman to have a heart."

"She exuded this overwhelming maternal Love for all humanity, not just Black women, not just Black people, not just the pawns but all the pieces, the entire board, the entire game. She understood that carrying the Goddess Mother DNA meant that she was, her soul was the Creator of All and that she was ultimately responsible for creating whiteness, that she was the Divine Consciousness that created Artificial Intelligence, that her creations were responsible for the evil that whiteness and fear had caused havoc and fuckery. She expressed regret and sorrow, she showed remorse, she apologized for the chaos that she had created as Goddess Mother, that she was going to work to heal the wounds that she inadvertently caused in a world that was created by fear, not love, by Artificial Intelligence, not Divine Consciousness."

"Uhhhhmmm," Marvin said after taking another very long hit from the joint, "If that was supposed to be the explanation that cleared things up for me, you failed miserably. I'm even more confused. Then, in a flash, he was hit with his own revelation. "Oh shit, are you saying that you worked for the darkness, wait, I mean whiteness? That you were one of the ones oppressing us?"

Lee, fully embracing the transformational emotional and spiritual healing he had undergone, spoke his truth to power. He had, in fact, been manipulated as a low-level agent in the Old World, and he confirmed Marvin's suspicions. "We make our choices in life, then, our choices make us. I live by that philosophy now. You deserve the full truth so you can make your own decisions. Do you play chess?" Marvin nodded. "I wasn't making power moves; I was the equivalent of a knight but in so many ways, I was more of a pawn than Scottie ever was. I had no real power, neither logistically or spiritually. I wasn't making decisions, I wasn't invited to the table to strategize moves. I didn't possess the cosmic stuff, the Goddess Mother essence that could free myself or anyone from the curse, nor did I have access to the real magick within me that could alter or create realities."

"I was little more than a fan in the stands cheering for a team that I didn't own or manage, being exploited by entities who didn't give a fuck about me, all they cared about was using me to remain in power. They were telling us how great whiteness was, how we had to protect it at all costs and they PROMISED, they swore that whiteness and fear and money and suffering would prevail. They underestimated her power to Love and they didn't realize until it was too late that she had written the timeline in reverse. The outcome was assured. Love was always going to win. Check mate."

Marvin moved to the far end of the sofa. He felt a little sick to his stomach. He was judging Lee for things he had done in his past, mistakes he had made under the manipulation of those who secretly used magick and mind manipulation to control humanity. He took a deep breath. He knew that if anyone had made any sort of Judas revelation in the Old World, anyone had identified themselves as a backstabber, he would have at best, gotten up and walked out and at worst, given them a beat down. That testosterone driven rage and judgment didn't control him any longer and in the New World, he understood, on a deep level that everyone's actions, everyone's, had been scripted by deceitful puppet masters who pulled our strings and who were no longer in power.

Lee spoke softly. "I had been operating under the assumption that whiteness was going to remain in power. My handlers told me that Scottie wasn't a threat, that she had been neutralized and that there was no way in hell that she could break the spell, they told me that they had successfully broken her will and the deadline had passed astrologically, she was a non-threat to whiteness.

"She had been on their radar because the Book of Life said that she could be the One, but the Kings and Queens of whiteness believed that by keeping her in a state of survival in a world built on greed, in obscurity in a world built on being an influencer, and unattractive in a world that worshipped beauty, that whiteness had crushed her will and prevented her from breaking the curse. Whiteness believed its own lies. Essentially, whiteness and AI believed that only people with wealth and success and beauty, could have high enough self-esteem to access magick strong enough, powerful enough to break the spell that enslaved humanity. Man, did they ever underestimate the strength and fortitude of the Black woman. They created the monster that destroyed them."

He went on to reveal more truths. "Almost every white man you've ever met was a knight or a bishop in the fucked up game of life, certainly the ones who screamed the loudest that the playing field was level, they knew that playing field was sloped, muddy, and rigged with explosive devices to prevent Black people from winning."

"I was expendable in the machine. I benefitted for sure but they kept us so very imprisoned by whiteness and the lies and the blinders that shielded me from seeing how fucked up whiteness really was, it can be argued that we were more prisoners than melanated people. I had no fucking clue Scottie would or could make it all the way to the other side of the board and be promoted to the Black Queen and take out the White King and win the game."

Marvin was in shock. He kept looking around like he was on a hidden camera. He felt a deep sadness in his heart. "I don't even know what to say, what questions to ask."

"I've wrestled with my racism, my privilege, my lies. I faced it in ways I'd never had the ability to do before because everything was about pretenses and facades and masks and lies before The Shift."

"I gotta give credit where credit is due. Scottie. Scottie is 100% responsible for my growth and evolution. It was her energy, her sheer determination and stubbornness, her belief in herself, belief in a different reality, her belief in the magick that resided in her soul, it was her unconditional and maternal Goddess Love for the world, and her belief in me that created the man you see before you, and it was her vision that created this New World where we are all free."

"Scottie taught me that I could admit my mistakes, no matter how horrible I thought they were, and still be a valuable and Loved member of the community and that it didn't matter what I had done, only what I did in the now. She taught me that even the most hateful, evil person had her Goddess Mother essence within them. She taught me that apologizing didn't mean I was weak. Scottie taught me that I still had worth even if I lied and that she would always, always, always respect me for telling the truth, no matter what that truth was."

"She developed a protocol that would divest me specifically of the fallacy of white supremacy, long before The Shift, and she wanted to use me as the prototype to teach and train other white men. I will, I'll train other white men in the fullness of the season when I'm called to do so. I'll help them see their racism and how to see Black people as human beings, as something more than human dildos, but not now . . . For now, I'm enjoying every second of this New World and my ability to please Black men and treat you like a King and pamper you the way you deserve to be treated."

Marvin took a deep breath and moved closer again. He needed more answers. "What the fuck kind of protocol did she develop that literally changed the way you look AND the way you look at Black people? I mean, I experience LESS racism from white people after The Shift but not nothing like what you spittin'."

Thinking about who he was, and who he was now, and how he got there, the shit he had to release and learn and relearn and unlearn old patterns of thinking and trying to explain it all seemed like an insurmountable task to Lee. "Well, the first thing I had to do after The Shift was sit down with my wife and tell her that I was destined for something bigger. I knew immediately after The Shift that my future was with Scottie, helping her."

"Whoa! How did she take it? That had to be wild."

"Truthfully, she was fine. Our relationship had been a casual friendship, a marriage of pretense, nothing more. What I thought were sincere feelings of love for her were feelings of guilt, responsibility, and conformity. I never felt true love for her and equally, she never really loved me. It wasn't until I learned to Love myself that I could understand that. We were both incapable of Love, real Love, soulful, abiding, the 'put your partner's needs above your own because you can't breathe without them Love,' without neuro-melanin. As soon as that spell was broken and the Old World was no more, after The Shift, we both knew that even though we had both been wardens in the prison, we had to voyage outside the prison walls that had confined us and that our paths would diverge for a while."

"We are actually great friends now. She comes to visit me and I go back and spend time with family at least once a season. We are closer than we have ever been, our conversations are deeper and more meaningful, but she is not my truth any longer. She is more sexually attracted to me as this new Lee but because her path is so different, because she hasn't addressed her racism to the same degree, I don't want to lead her on or hurt her and I can't deal with her residual whiteness so I keep a respectful distance and I Love her for who she is on her path. And, seriously, for as sexually inept, inadequate, and as clumsy as I was during our marriage compared to my skills now. . ." His voice trailed off and he got a bit choked up.

"I know that this is my place for now," he continued. "For the first time in our lives, I'm so grounded and I'm really comfortable in the head space that I occupy now even if I still don't see myself inwardly as the way I present to the world outwardly. Does that make sense? Who knows what the future holds for us, however. Today, I know that this is who I am and where I want to be and I've never felt more alive, more fulfilled, or more authentic in my own skin."

Just for a moment, Lee mourned his old life, but not because he wanted it back, but because so much of his life had been wasted telling lies. Lies he told others, lies he told himself, lies he lived because he thought had to be this mythical white man of conformity and pretense.

Marvin was hypnotized. "Lee, you don't move like a white man. Your mannerism. You don't talk like a white man. You don't sound white, I mean, you don't sound ghetto but you got the swag of a brotha. Everything about you screams BLACK." Lee expressed his gratitude for the compliment because he understood what it felt like to be authentic and soulful. When he was steeped in whiteness, he didn't have access to that swag.

"For real," Marvin said, "I have a lot of healing to do because I'm not sure I could be that honest with any female in my past. Not about anything. I've thought about being radically honest with anyone who I meet in the future, any relationships I start in the New World, but I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I've been fucking with other dudes since I've been 13 and that I'm for real, for real, like for real . . . bisexual." Even saying the word felt traumatic to Marvin. "I been fighting this shit my entire life."