Boston to Birmingham Ch. 02

So much for the elaborate simplicity she was going for. She finally gave up, combed her damp mop into a simple ponytail, and hoped for the best.

Finally they gathered for the blessing. You always have a blessing at these events, whether you believe or not. A few of the cousins had a band. They had set a stage up for later, and they handed a microphone to Hildy.

"I'm gonna do my Minnie Pearl imitation. HOWDEEEE!" The sound echoed off the low hills.

A chorus of "Howdee" came back to her.

She held her hands in mock disappointment.

"Ya'll forget. I'm related to you. I know you can get louder than that. We ain't gonna eat until I'm satisfied. HOWDEEEEEEEEEEE!"

They probably heard them in the next town.

"That's better. Thanks so much for coming. There ain't nothin' better'n family. Before we eat, make sure you thank the cooks, some of them have been at it for hours. And thank the ladies for the side dishes and great looking desserts."

"Now, bow your head, and let's remember the ones who can't be here, and the ones that will never be here again. Keep them in your hearts."

After a short silence she spoke up again.

"God, thank you for friends and family. We ain't nothing without them. Bless the new arrivals to the clan, and hold the departed near to you. Help the ones that are lost find their way back home. Help the ones estranged find their way back to the fold and each other. Help us be better people. Bless this food and all present. Amen."

There was a rousing response of "Amen!", followed by a scramble to the tables. Gwen stood, transfixed by the blessing, and then added her own prayer, the most heartfelt she had ever done.

Hildy hugged her.

"Come on girl, before they eat it all."

She wasn't sure exactly what she ate. There was something called burgoo, made with mutton, a cousin from over the Tennessee line brought. Another from the coast of South Carolina brought Brunswick stew, which tasted great once you got over how much it looked like it had already been eaten and lost. There were about twenty homemade barbeque sauces, from sticky sweet to blistering hot.

Green beans, butterbeans, blackeyed peas, Lima beans, corn on the cob, fried corn, creamed corn. Kale, collards, mixed greens, tender greens, rape, sweet potatoes, sweet potato casserole. Potato salad, fried potatoes, hash brown casserole. Fried squash, okra, sliced onions, sliced tomatoes, cucumbers. Pickles of every description made from just about anything. Dishes she couldn't be sure what was in them. Gwen didn't know why the tables didn't collapse.

And desserts, oh my. Carrot cake, chocolate cake, fresh coconut cake, Appalachian stack cake,upside down pineapple cake, banana bread, apple pie[fried and baked]peach pie, coconut pie, chocolate pie, pecan pie, strawberry pie, blueberry pie, cupcakes, cookies, gelatin molds. She felt her arteries harden and waistline expand just looking.

Health concerns didn't stop anybody from digging in, so she grabbed a plate and stepped up. They knew she wasn't familiar with a lot of the foods, and they made a production of introducing them to her. Try cousin Freds' fried chicken, Aunt Zelda's carrot salad, the greens, the beans. She thought she was going to explode as the jibes got more pointed when they got comfortable with her.

Taste this sauce, Yankee girl, don't be a wuss. Yeah, it's hot, kill this beer, it'll help. Don't hurt her feelings, eat it. Hildy rescued her.

"Stop it, or she'll be known as the girl that ate Alabama. She'll be around for awhile, she'll try it all later. Stop before she pops!"

She took her hand and led her inside.

"Hardy just called, he got held up. He'll be here in about an hour. Why don't you fix him a plate of his favorites and put it back. That'll give you a chance to talk to him. Come on, I'll help you."

They ended up fixing three plates, one meats, one veggies, one desert.

Hildy smiled.

"The old saying about love and food must be true. Feed him this and he'll be so full he can't run, and so happy he won't fuss. Well, not much, I hope."

Gwen did too. She loosened the belt around her shorts. They had elastic and she was stuffed, so she was sure they wouldn't slip. A decision she soon regretted.

An hour passed and still no Hardy. He called Hildy, saying he didn't think he would get the cousin bailed out in time to come. Hildy insisted he stop by, if nothing else for the plates of food she had saved him. He promised, but said it would be at least two more hours.

The older folks dozed, sated with food and family. The younger ones cleaned up a little before they too relaxed. The kids buzzed around, powered by the boundless energy of youth.

Gwen and Hildy wandered round, talking to everyone. Gwen felt like she was running for office the way she was shaking hands and kissing babies, but she didn't mind. Somewhere she lost Hildy and ended up walking with one of the cousins close to her own age.

There was a group their age clustered near the creek. They went over and she soon discovered the family drink, ginger fizz. One half family brewed corn liquor, one half a local brew of ginger ale known for it's bite. It was not for the faint of heart.

Gwen tasted one and it felt like her mouth was on fire. She went pale, and then bright red. When she finally started gasping for air the group broke up laughing.

"Don't worry, Aunt Gwen, it'll stop burning in a minute. Don't be mad at us, everyone new to the family gets ambushed like this. Here, this is what it's supposed to taste like."

She eyed it warily. The same base, but with lemon, orange, and lime slices, plus a few cherries thrown in. She took a sip and actually enjoyed the taste. She ended up drinking three in an hour. What she didn't know was it still had just as much liquor in it, and she was getting really buzzed.

She went to the bathroom, talked to Aunt Hildy, found out Hardy should be there any minute. She worked her way back to the group by the creek, stopping and being stopped along the way. All in all, she was very happy. Seeing Hardy would cap a wonderful day.

The band was just starting to play, country and old rock. They weren't half bad. The sun was just beginning to decline, giving the day a golden, sepia glow.

Then, it all went to pieces.

Crystal Anne was at the table with her new friends, talking to some big guy with a cap on. She was rubbing his shoulder, laughing and shaking her hair. Damn her, she was the last person she wanted to see. Long red hair flowing, highlights glinting in the sun, white halter top and shorts so small they looked like panties. Every man there was drooling. At least she wasn't around Hardy.

Then her world imploded. Crystal playfully knocked the cap off the guy, exposing shaggy, pale blond hair, which she ruffled affectionately. She reached the table and the man turned. She found herself staring directly into Hardys' eyes. His hair was longer, and he had a short beard, but the cool grey eyes bored holes in her soul.

She snapped. All her planning, all her hopes, and he was with HER! Looking back, she didn't even remember starting it.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND, YOU MAN STEALING BITCH!"

She grabbed a handful of hair and yanked backwards. Crystal Anne slammed into her, knocking them both off balance and sending them tumbling into the creek. Joshua had taken his backhoe and formed a small pool, intended for the smaller kids in the summertime. It was about waist deep at the deepest point.

Gwen never let go of her hair as they hit the water. Even in early September, the water was COLD! Crystal was floundering, trying to stand upright. Gwen yanked her head under again, and as she was gasping for breath she ripped her halter off.

By then a good crowd had gathered, and she thought she could get out while Crystal crouched in the water to conceal her chest. She started up the bank, twirling the top and laughing.

Crystal surged out of the water, 'cussing a blue streak', according to what she heard later, and grabbed Gwen by the waistband of her shorts. The belt had been loosened and the shorts slid down her legs, exposing her ass in all its' glory, covered minimally by a lacy black thong. She had worn it in the hopes of flashing Hardy, it was always one of his favorites.

She slid back into the water, shorts entangling her legs, and Crystal gave her a mighty slap. She responded by raking her nails across her neck, drawing blood. They were tumbling in the water, both by now half drowned. Somehow half of her tank top was gone, along with the bra beneath.

She could hear the crowd yelling and clapping, but just didn't care. She was gonna kick this bitches' ass if it was the last thing she did.

Suddenly a voice boomed out.

"YOU GIRLS STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! SHAME ON BOTH OF YOU."

To reinforce her words she grabbed a cooler and dumped it on them, cans and all. It shocked them into stillness.

It was Hildy, and she had a full head of steam. She looked at two of the larger cousins.

"Shirts off! Now!"

They hastily tossed her their tee shirts. She threw them down to the girls.

"Put these on and get your asses up to the house right this minute, else I'm gonna show everybody what a real ass whipping looks like! NOW!"

They scrambled into the shirts and ran to the house, holding them down past their bottoms. Hildy wasn't far behind.

Joshua was waiting for them and shooed them inside. Soon Hildy was pacing up and down before them.

"I hope you're proud. It'll be a long time before the cousins forget this reunion. What a way for two supposed ladies to act!"

It felt like they were ten years old.

Crystal Anne said "She started it!"

Gwen said "No, bitch, you started it by touching my husband. If I catch you around him again this won't even compare to what I do to you."

"Fuck you, you gave him up when you couldn't keep your legs closed. I, at least, would be faithful to him."

That stung Gwen more than she cared to acknowledge.

"Fuck you too. Until the divorce is final, he's mine! And I intend to stop the divorce, we'll be together again, you'll see."

Crystal sneered, "Yeah, I see that happenin' real soon. Just as soon as I get my snowball franchise in hell."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"Crystal, go with Joshua. He'll show you my room. You should find clothes to wear home. They'll be a little loose but it'll have to do."

After Crystal left the room, Hildy looked at her sadly.

"Well, if you wanted to make an impression on him, it worked."

Gwen teared up, again.

"Is he still here? Think he'll listen to an apology?"

"Sorry child, he's long gone. You girls managed to embarrass the crap out of him, and I didn't think that could be done."

She let out a cry, "I've ruined everything. One chance and I blew it. I might as well give up."

Hildy patted her head.

"Don't be so hasty, child. You actually fought for him, he's redneck enough to appreciate that. This little incident may have actually done you some good."

She hugged Hildy for awhile, then sat back.

With a weak little smile she asked.

"So, did I win?"

Hildy grinned.

"I'd call it a draw, but it was a dandy little scrap."

Gwen actually giggled.

"What would my father think if he saw his little princess now? Bet it would shock the hell out of him."

Hildy looked uncomfortable.

"Baby, you should know..."

She trailed off and looked over Gwens' shoulder.

"What is it, Aunt Hildy?"

She heard the "Hmm, hmm" of someone clearing their throat and thought Joshua was back.

She turned.

"DADDY?!"