By Air Mail Ch.06

Dusty didn't need to answer right away, since his blush said it all.

"Me too," Ruthie laughed gently.

"So what's the difference if it's me doing that while I kiss you just like I did a minute ago? You see what I mean? Everything else, we can figure out somehow - and if you tell me that I can, well I'll try my best to get you into his arms too. Deal?"

Dusty was incredulous. "Ruthie, I saw you ... I saw what you did."

"Just answer the question, Dusty," she smiled, "so I can kiss you like that again. He was making you give him money to keep his mouth shut over how he did what he did to you - like it was something YOU did wrong. I already know that.

All I did was set you free. I don't ever want to talk about it anymore - but I really would like to kiss you again and this time, you just try to imagine how it might be with all of us in a bed some night."

------

Hunter looked out of the window at nothing but black night as the truck rolled on. He was long tired of kicking himself and asking himself why it mattered to him anyway. She was a nervous ball of energy and he decided that he could get used to that and the way that she asked so many questions and tried to learn and help him where she could.

But she didn't do that anymore.

She just kept her distance and today, it had gotten even colder.

Hunter sighed quietly and told himself to forget it.

Terry yawned and tried to stretch a little as he drove. His motions woke Judith who was up to that point sleeping beside him. She sat up and looked around in the darkness. When she looked back into the depths of the cavernous interior of the panel truck, she could see Hunter sitting on the second row bench and she could just make out Molly sleeping with Isaiah right at the back.

The last time that she'd looked, they'd been making love.

She looked again and noticed the way that Ruthie sat in silence looking out of the window on the other side and she noticed the space between them and the way that it looked to be only about a thousand miles wide.

She and Molly had teased Ruthie a little when she'd asked if the spread of her eighteen years to Hunter's twenty-three was an impossible gap. Molly and Judith liked Hunter a great deal and spoke together about what might happen one day soon and they'd both grinned and said that they hoped that it would.

But the next time that she'd kidded Ruthie about Hunter it was pretty clear that something had happened, so they just left it alone after that out of not wanting to make it worse. Now the two of them sat like strangers far apart in silence and Judith decided that she didn't like it a bit.

"How long to get to that other little town that you mentioned?" she asked Terry and he shrugged, "I dunno anymore. I just hope that I don't miss a turn or something. To tell you the truth, I'm not even big on going to McCall anymore. I think that I like Cascade just fine.

All I know is that we all like the place and that we can rent a hangar to start up in. That, and I really like that Bea's Café place. That Marjorie woman and the other one ..."

"Rebecca?" Judith suggested.

"Yeah," Terry said quietly, "They were all pretty welcoming from what I could see. Good to know that their husbands run most of the flight operations out of that little airfield there. I almost can't wait to give them a call in a few days. First, I'll need to sleep though.

Over fifteen hundred miles one way," he groaned softly, "Almost three days, just driving there. If this works out, I'm going to have the birds shipped there by train. My back will be thankful for it."

"I think that I'd like to learn how to drive," Judith said.

"Yeah? Well I think that I'd like you to learn how to drive," Terry smiled over.

"Actually, I want more than that. One of you - and I don't care which one; will need to learn to fly. We can't have everything hanging on only one pilot. If something happens to me, then everything stops - if we ever get going at all. You all decide and I'll help you learn so that you can pass the flight tests whenever they set something up like that."

He drove on for a little while, just holding Judith's hand.

Maybe ten minutes later, Judith moved to look over the back of the seat.

Neither of them had moved and it made her a little sad.

"That Rosa girl looked nice," she offered to Hunter.

She watched as his eyes swiveled over to regard her for half a second before he nodded as he tried to stretch in place on the seat.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I kind of liked her a little."

"I wonder," Judith said, "Does it matter to you that she has trouble hearing? I don't think it would bother me if I was a man. I thought that she was lovely and very nice.

And anyway, you both found a way to talk with your hands."

She kept her face straight as she noticed the way that Hunter looked at her for just a second before he turned away to look out of the window, since he wanted to hide his smile.

Even though she was looking at Hunter, Judith saw the way that Ruthie had turned her head to listen to her.

"Yeah," he agreed. "she sure looked pleased when she found that I know how to sign. She told me that she's from some tribe that I've never even heard of way down against the Mexican border in Arizona. I've gotta remember to ask my mother or father if they've heard of them. I thought I knew pretty much all of the tribes this far west - well except for the ones right close to the ocean and the ones far up in the northwest. But hell, you can only get to know the ones that you've met.

I did like her though."

Judith nodded, "She seemed to me like the sort of person who just takes what life hands to her and makes the best of every opportunity."

"Who was that?" Ruthie asked.

"We met a few people in the café there in Cascade while you were sleeping," Judith smiled, "They seemed nice to me and I didn't notice anyone glaring at Isaiah and I - other than I think that they don't see many people like us there. You were sleeping.

We tried to wake you up, but you said that you wanted to sleep since you hadn't in well over a day."

"I can't sleep when I'm traveling," Ruthie said, "I can't help it."

She looked at Hunter, "So you found somebody that you like?"

He nodded, "I guess you could say that, but I'd only just seen her. I thought she and that other girl, uh..."

"You mean Amelia?" Judith prompted.

"Yeah," Hunter smiled, "I thought they were really friendly."

Ruthie turned away to look out of the window again.

"Too bad they both seemed to be a little stuck on that guy, whoever he was - the one that everybody was so happy to see or something. I did like them though. Everybody there seemed pretty friendly.

It's just too bad that nobody there had the kind of eyes that I like to see these days. Or I used to once."

Judith nodded and turned around to lean against Terry.

It took about five minutes before Hunter felt Ruthie nudge him a little.

He looked over and she was still pressed up against the side of the truck and still looking out of the window.

"I don't get it," she said, "What kind of eyes would you want to see? I don't get how you can meet somebody for just a second and you're talking to them like it's nothing."

"It was nothing," he said, trying without success to find a more comfortable position for a moment, "They asked if we were passing through and we talked for a little while and that's pretty much all that happened.

And I like green eyes the best, bright ones," he said quietly and without emotion, "the kind that flash at you to catch your eye without meaning to and make you wonder how warm green is as a color for eyes when you never noticed it before in anybody."

He sighed, "The kind that flash in a different way only once if you say the wrong thing and then they never light up for you again."

He went back to looking out at the darkness.

"You almost took my head off, when I was only asking -"

"I know," he said gently, "and I've been sorry for that ever since. I was trying to keep track of some really important things. I should have just written it down and answered you. With knowing that I'd hurt your feelings, I had to go back and undo the whole thing to start over and by then I didn't want to even see any of it anymore.

You haven't asked me anything since and now I even miss that."

There was more silence for a little while before Ruthie said, "I was pestering you and I'm sorry for that.

When I woke up alone in here this afternoon, I was mad at everybody. I got out and walked over to the gas station to use their restroom and then I walked back and I've been sulking ever since.

But I've figured out that me being grumpy doesn't help anything and Judith's right. You all did try to wake me. Well, everybody but you."

Hunter shrugged, "I didn't think that my seeing my face was what you wanted right then."

He looked over as he felt some motion in the seat. Ruthie was next to him, close against him and she reached out to touch his face so that he'd look over more. "Well you were wrong. I did want to see your face then, like I want to see it now. I've been miserable for days."

She put her arms around him in the only awkward way that she could with him sitting as he was.

"Hunter, if you care for me at all the way that I think you might, then please - if you wouldn't mind it too much ... could you please kiss me a little? I don't think that I've ever asked a boy to kiss me before in my life."

"I'm not a boy," he said.

"I know that," Ruthie smiled a little, "But I don't want to get into a whole long discussion over it. Just kiss m-"

Ruthie's breath failed her for a moment as Hunter kissed her.

Before he even needed a breath, he caused her to sigh softly as he moved so that he could take her into his arms a little better. After that he kissed her for quite a while before he sat back to catch his own breath for a minute.

"I've never kissed a girl who tasted like ... licorice," he smiled.

Ruthie chuckled as she reached into her jacket and whipped out a small paper bag, "You want some more of my lunch? I'll share."

He nodded and she put a piece into her mouth so that the end of the small piece stuck out and she moved closer to him so that he wouldn't have to stretch.

"What do you think?" she asked.

Hunter had to chuckle at how she looked, smiling at him, "I like how you don't like the candy kind. That's the real thing. Pure and hot."

"Ohh Hunter," she groaned very softly into his ear as she settled in as close to him as she could get, "you say the nicest things to me."

Hunter held Ruthie close, marveling at the way that it made him feel and they spoke in half-whispers for a long time.

"I've never know anyone like you," he said, "A girl who likes real licorice and smells softly of something that I don't even recognize and yet makes me feel so many things."

Ruthie nodded against his shoulder, "It's no great secret, Hunter. When I was little, I always knew my mother by this smell and even then, it was just the tiniest bit of the oil that she used, never more than the littlest drop. It's patchouli oil and just a little goes a long way. I found a little in a case that I was given once and I had the devil's own time getting the druggist to get me some. Here, nobody knows it, but where my mother came from, it was quite popular.

Do you like it?"

Hunter nodded and Ruthie smiled. "Do you like me, Hunter? I confess that I've come to regard you very highly. That's why I've been upset for a while.

I just know how we both happen to feel," she said, "So I think that if I could hear you admit it to me too, then I'd tell you some other things that you might want to hear."

"Ruthie," Hunter whispered, "I more than like you. I didn't really know why I couldn't do more than just chalk it up to me being stupid when I barked at you. But you didn't want to even see me then. I couldn't forget it and I knew that you're not the kind of person who holds the door open for long. I just know that about you."

"Never mind," she said, "It's past now and I've learned something about you that I'd never use against you. Because I think that I'd like to know you as much as I can and that's a different word than 'like', but I think it's still a little ways off for you and me.

I'll try not to pester you if you'll try not to be short with me."

She smiled as she looked up at him, "I'll even give you a chance to run and a count of a hundred.

But if I catch you Hunter, then you're mine so if you think that you might not want to play, then you'd best say it now."

She waited as he processed it for a few moments and then her heart soared as she watched his slow smile.

"I won't need the hundred," he said as he held her a little tighter, "I won't even run."

Ruthie nodded as she leaned against Hunter, reaching down to see if she could rouse him a little bit and when she found that she could, she giggled very quietly and worked to free what she was after.

With everything to her liking, Ruthie kissed Hunter's cheek and told him that she was happy before she moved a little to hold him as she opened her mouth to take him in.

She did it really well, surprising Hunter a little bit with her gentleness. When he came, she took it all and let nothing escape, making sure as she felt a little in the darkness. When she sat back up, Hunter took her into his arms and kissed her so that she melted against him.

When he'd thanked her, Ruthie nodded with a smile.

"I might have a little surprise for you," she said in that soft way of hers that he liked to hear from her.

"What do you mean?" he asked, but she was already coming back in to get more kisses.

When she pulled back and settled against him, she pulled him gently so that she could whisper into his ear. "I did that for you, but at the same time, I was doing it on behalf of somebody else too who's wanted to do that for you for a long while - somebody that you know from before Terry."

Hunter looked troubled then, since he was having difficulty coming up with anyone.

"You just think on it a little while," she purred into his ear.

When he still didn't get it, Ruthie was back, groaning softly into his ear again, "I'll give you some hints then.

It's somebody that you might not expect.

Nice body, but not tall. A thin face, but a sweet baby-face all the same.

I know that person has been wanting to do what I just did for you, struggling a little because that thought only comes to mind about twenty times a day, Hunter - the same as it comes to me most days lately.

Nice long eyelashes," she hinted, ending it as though it was a question.

She stretched up to lick the rim of his ear for a moment, "Really nice hair, too. A soft kind of light brown, and really pretty deep blue eyes that -"

"Dusty?" He asked in surprise and she nodded, drawing back with a little grin.

"Dusty wants to ...?"

She nodded, "He's always been stuck there, working for your uncle. He'd have quit a long time ago, he told me, over the way that dead asshole Smitty used to treat him. But he has enough of a time just catching glimpses of you when you're both working at the same place. He knows that he'd probably never get the chance to even see you again if he quit.

He's been stuck a long time, not having the way to show you how he feels and being scared to death to try to show you even a hint of what he feels for you inside of him."

Hunter nodded with a bit of an annoyed grunt, "I'm such a fool. I made you feel bad and ... I wish I'd have known. I've always liked Dusty.

And he is beautiful at that. I'd have set Smitty on his head if I'd known."

He looked at her a little intently, "Do you mean to say ... that Smitty ... did he ever hurt Dusty?"

She nodded, "He used to hit him for nothing, I've learned. I didn't try to dig too hard out of feeling for Dusty, but I'm pretty sure that he forced Dusty to do what I just did for you. I didn't want to drag up any more because I could see that there was maybe some pain to Dusty thinking back, the way that he looked to me."

Hunter shook his head, "I'd have killed Smitty if I knew."

Ruthie nodded, "I know that. Dusty knows it too. Besides being ashamed, he'd never have told you because you'd probably get in trouble with the law over somebody who needed to be dead - and needed it so badly that even the steel drums that he stacked up himself couldn't wait to get their chance at him."

Hunter shook his head again, "Dusty tries so hard, but nobody sees it but me."

He looked at her again, "Dusty wants to ...

With me?"

She nodded, "He's always wanted to. Hunter, if you just let him know that you like him more than you let on, he'd let you do about anything to him.

You know ..." she whispered very softly as little more than a soft breath against his cheek, "the same kind of way that I would most times, if I've gotta come right out and tell you, Hunter.

I don't mind," she sighed a little airily, "I know that most times, you're about the smartest guy I've ever seen. You just need a little help to see things that are a little hidden sometimes. Have you ever been to bed with another guy where it gets to where you want to do him like he was a girl?"

"No," Hunter admitted, "never."

"Well you just think about it," she smiled, "Maybe there'll be two people waiting in your bed for you some night. He just needs to know that you care about him. After that, I'll have my own struggle, since he'd never have the thought that a girl might want him too."

She sighed, "He's so beautiful to me and I see him differently to the way that I see you."

"Tell me," he whispered as he kissed her cheek.

"Well," she smiled, "from his way of looking at things, we're a little like each other in a few ways. Both of us see ourselves as female when we look at you. He knows he's not a girl or anything dumb like that, Hunter, but he wants you in pretty much the same ways that I would want you."

She drew back to sit on her knees beside him, placing her arms around his neck. "So if you think that you'd want me in your life, let's stop fussing over it and just try to get to know each other. I think that I know how to make it so that you can have a sweet boy like that to love you at night with me too.

I just need you to tell me that you'd like that and that I can go ahead and do what I have to so that it happens. And just so you understand what that means, I might need to take him to bed alone with me once or twice beforehand so he feels comfortable with me right up against him.

Can I do that?"

Hunter's expression grew a little troubled, "But I'm not sure that I'd want..."

"What do you mean?" she asked cautiously as she peered searchingly into his eyes, "Hunter, before anything happens, tell me what you were about to say.

If I do this, it's not just for me. It's not even just for you. I met a fine man the other day, and his feelings matter to me.

Be honest with me, before what I might do makes him want to die over somebody ELSE who used him but didn't really like or want him - because that's surely going to happen if you find that you don't want him as much you might want me or if it's just a dirty little thought to you.

He's very handsome in his own way and he's so beautiful that he takes my breath away just to look at him when he's not even looking at me. He makes me feel good when I'm just near him, like you do, but in a different way.

He's like anybody else in this world, Hunter. He deserves to have somebody to love him full time. I guess I'm asking if you think you can do that.

Because I hope that you can see that it's important to me that you can as well."

Hunter looked at her and he smiled, though it wasn't what he felt like doing right then.

"Have you been listening to yourself?" he asked, his smile not wavering for an instant, "Ruthie, I cant sit here right now and honestly say that it's what I'd want all the time. I think I'd just like to do that sometimes.