All Comments on 'Cabin by the Lake'

your story was ok not much heat.plus you never describe the sister what were her measurements? are her breasts a a,b.cor dcup? is she tall short or medium height? is her waist slim and her hips round? you failed to answer any of these questions. and why wasn't there more encounters then just one quick one .not a very good one.

it was okay but it seemed to start from the dad's frist person point of view and switch to the brothers point of view.

This story was written for fun and as a contest entry.

I left the descriptions vague, as I wanted the reader to use his or her imagianition and fill in the details to suit themselves.

If you have ever been in a situation like this then you know what the other was like.

The POV was a typo that didn't appear in my text when I sent it in. Must have been a formatting error and I assure you readers that I will watch out for those in the future.

Thanks for taking the time to comment and vote.

Georgepat

If your going to leave a negitave comment, at least have the GUTS to use your name Most of you ANONYMOUS assholes are such nitpickers and x-spurts, why are you reading Literotica and throwing comments from behind the walls of anonymity and not out teaching English ?

If your going to leave a negitave comment, at least have the GUTS to use your name Most of you ANONYMOUS assholes are such nitpickers and x-spurts, why are you reading Literotica and throwing comments from behind the walls of anonymity and not out teaching English ?

Hot little item - do hope there's more, plenty more!

Lukas

the story okay but it more erotic more specific body size and shape. hopfully put more story ch. 2

I thought it was well written and to the point. Good build up and much more substance than most.

It could have been Much Better.

I THINK THAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER TO HAVE THEM MAKE LOVE IN THE CABIN, AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT IF YOU TOLD THAT SHE HAD A SHAVED PUSSY.

HUMPMAN 1963@HOTMAIL.COM

I wish we had been privy to how the twins became intimate to begin with, ...it took a little bit away from the overall supense. But this fact made your story different from all the others. Unorthodox. I'll be interested to see what else you write.

could have been better and it was far too short

so-so story this should have been chapter two of three or four the first would give background as to how they started getting intimate then this and the third and maybe forth would tell the rest get a good editor and fix the screw up

the point of view change was distracting and was not a format error as you said it was your goof. the big turn off was no background and no end this was the second chapter and you failed to post the first and third. would you read a book that started in the middle and didn't have an end NO YOU WOULD NOT. i suggest you delete and rewrite this posting it just wastes the sites space and our time.

If wanking is has bad has this I wiuld not bother

The story was fine but to be honest way to short it was more of a tease than a real story but keep writing and try to make the story's longer this was a good start just way way way to short the story had a lot going for it but failed short with such a quick ending just a few thoughts how about the sister getting pregnant by the brother there and are caught by the folks one of the times they are making love just to find out that there folks are OK with it as long as they are happy or maybe add another spin have the parents admit they are really brother and sister just some ideas .

hate to tell you but you totally FAILED to post an enjoyable story. this is nothing but a story outline and needs major rewriting before being posted. a GOOD WRITER would be ASHAMED to have his name on this crap.

I agree with the comments that this is insufficiently developed.

But also the viewpoint changes. At first, the narrator is the Dad, but then he becomes the son, John.

Damn dirtybear42, open the valve on your pressure cooker before you blow a gasket. Some of us haven't joined literotica so don't have a user name. Doesn't mean that some who haven't joined, do not have an opinion. Ease up before you blow your gasket.

Not enough build-up and tension.

Virgin? Not a virgin?

"I'm so glad you were the first man to have me."

Would have thought there would have been some discomfort being the first time and seeing her quickly warm up to it. Mutual masturbation does not necessarily mean that penetration was achieved then.

It is a good start to a possibly entertaining story but I think a bit more detail is required. 4 STARS

Ummmm......

There was very little build up, practically none at all, no tension, nothing compelling me to get even slightly invested in the story, in truth the whole story seemed rushed, like there was a deadline and you forcefully shoved it out as fast as possible, caring very little about the story

The whole point of story telling is to slowly draw the reader in, enticing them meanwhile building up to a climactic yet smooth ending, thus making them want for more

You have potential, invest more time thought and emotion into your stories

This story started out with the twins already having some experiences before & I for one would love to have known how they came to be 'close' earlier on.

3 Stars from me...