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I turned her head and captured her lips for a lazy kiss as we clung to each other. We moaned into the kiss and trailed our hands over each other's bodies. With a sigh, we broke the kiss and settled down side-by-side. I pulled the sleeping bag back around us as Mom snuggled into my side. We both stayed naked as we enjoyed the closeness of laying together nude. We said our good nights and quickly drifted off to sleep as our exhaustion finally claimed us.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous6 months agoBig tits, big cock, smart athletic son and hot mom, yeah it's dripping with clichés 30 seconds in. A distinct lack of variety in the setups of so many of these kinds of stories. Pretty sad. Also the son lasts way too long for his first time with his mom, his ultimate fantasy woman. But I can overlook these grievances since they're all-too-common and thus expected, to a degree.
The dialogue is very cringe-worthy. It doesn't feel like what people would actually say, but is rather kind of pandering to the reader. There were too many paragraphs of descriptive text and it got very repetitive quickly. The whole thing could have been condensed into a story half as long with nothing of value being lost. Additionally the point-of-view seemed to change frequently which made the flow of the story feel a little disjointed, although it's not a huge deal compared to the other issues.
All-in-all, a hot scenario but executed somewhat amateurishly. Hopefully this is just early work as there is much to be improved upon. It would be nice to know if he was impregnating her as it seems unlikely she's on birth control after so long without any men in her life sexually (unless it's to regulate her periods or something like that). Details like this are important. A part 2 where they get back home and do some of the things they mentioned would be hot, and also if he knocked her up and continues to fuck her senseless while pregnant. Now that's hot stuff.
Anonymous7 months agomight have had potential, if you could decide who the internal narrator was, and stop flipping randomly back and forth between them. ten minutes editing it to make it a more natural flow for the reader would vastly improve this.
