Chad's Choice

Alice pushed herself all the way up to a sitting position. She sat, criss-cross, and smiled down at him.

"Polyamory isn't cheating. It's the understanding that people are sexual, loving, creatures capable of having complex emotions for more than one individual at the same time. At supper you quipped about me telling James I was going to go out and fuck another man. It wasn't like that. I had a couple of lovers and I went on dates with them, but James always came first. He had girlfriends too. He wasn't at all like what people talk about when they talk about cuckolds."

"What?" Chad furrowed his eyebrows.

Alice laughed. "A cuckold is a man whose wife cheats on him. But today it means more than that. It has become a fetish based on humiliation of the man. The woman usually denies him sex while she has sex with other men. Usually it involves the woman flaunting her infidelity and being mildly or not so mildly abusive to her husband and a lot of the time the husband is forced to do homosexual acts on her bulls."

"Bulls?"

"The men she cheats with."

"Oh." Chad pursed his lips. "And that's a real thing? People get off on that?"

"Some do. I don't. I always treated James with respect and he always treated me with respect. When we split up it wasn't a bad break. That's one of the reasons I don't like his current wife. She is like your wife. He thinks he's in a committed relationship and she's fucking around on him."

"Why don't you tell him?"

"Would you have listened if someone told you about your wife before you found out yourself?" Alice shrugged. "No, he doesn't want to hear it from me. I wish I could save him the pain he is headed for, but I can't."

They both sat there silently for a moment and then Chad looked at her. He could see his cum seeping from her wide open pussy between her legs. Her heavy breasts were still slick with sweat and her nipples were sticking out enticingly.

"I don't want to seem creepy, but let's say we have a second date and then a third and then at some point we decide we like more than just the sex with each other. What would our relationship be like? What could I look forward to?"

Alice smiled. "I don't know. We'd make it up as we went along. I don't think I could give up swinging even for a hunk like you but you never know." She shrugged. "But that's not the answer you want." She took a deep breath. "Shit this is harder than I thought it would be." Her eyes locked on his. "That's your fault, you know. If you weren't so fucking good in bed then this would be easier."

Chad laughed and shook his head. "Obviously I wasn't that good for my wife. She was never satisfied with just me."

Alice nodded. "So let's talk about that. Sex is fun, but most couples that are monogamous find that at some point in their marriage things get stale between them." When Chad started to speak, she shushed him and then continued. "It happens. It happens a lot! Usually the couple survives but often they don't and they get divorced even though they still love each other. Sometimes it ends up with one of them or even both of them cheating. Why is this?" She pursed her lips and took a deep breath. "Let's talk about astronauts for a moment. In the early days of the Apollo missions, Nasa found that the astronauts were not eating well in space and they found that the tubes of food were boring. Well, what they really found is that the men, after having the same goop for every meal for days in a row, just stopped having an appetite. The men got burned out eating the same food over and over again. No matter how good the food tasted the astronauts needed some variety. When we talked at supper I used the same analogy and it's a very good one. What is your favorite meal?"

Chad shrugged. "Surf and Turf, I guess. A good ribeye and a lobster tail can't really be beat."

"Would you want to eat steak and lobster for every meal?"

"No, but eating a meal is very different from having sex."

"Yes, but the principle is the same. If you had steak and lobster for every meal after a while you wouldn't want to eat as often. This is a big part of the reason why couples who are monogamous so frequently have problems."

"So if they would just fuck around on each other they would be fine?" Chad's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"No!" Alice shook her head vehemently and then she took another deep breath. "Fuck this is hard. Society beats into us from birth that a man can only love one woman and a woman can only love one man. I'm not saying that polyamory is for everyone, but for some of us it is right. I still have feelings for James and I believe he still has feelings for me. Before he met Becky, we still got together every so often. He was just looking for something I couldn't give him. The sad thing is that his bride isn't giving him what he wants either; she's just lying about it."

Alice looked at him and he saw in her eyes that she wanted him to understand. He was struggling with it, though.

After a moment she spoke again. "It isn't about fucking around. It is about admitting that people are complex sexual creatures with needs and desires that extend beyond a single sexual partner. And as much as that sounds like hedonistic bullshit, it's the fucking truth. I have never cheated on any partner I've ever had. And as much as it is the truth that I never asked for permission from James or any of my other partners, when they weren't comfortable or just didn't want me to see someone else, I didn't. Not because they were my master, but because I respected them and our relationship."

Chad nodded. "So was James always there? I mean when you had sex with other men?"

Alice smiled. "No, and it wasn't always other men. I'm bisexual. We had our lovers and we would see them privately or sometimes we would have threesomes or foursomes and sometimes we'd get together with a whole bunch of people and have a good party. We swapped with other couples a few times but that's hard because all four people have to click to make it work." She paused and looked at him, studying him closely. "Would you like to go to one of our parties? Lilly would love to see you again."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that." Chad grinned, "But all this talk has given me a chance to reload and I might be ready for something else."

"So you're not disgusted with me?"

"Alice, you are beautiful and wonderful and no I'm not disgusted with you or with Lilly either. I'm just ..." His voice tapered off.

"You're just not comfortable with the whole polyamory thing yet." Alice sighed. "I get it Chad. It's hard for some people to get their head around it. Usually though, those are the people who are the happiest once they do. Come on, let's take a shower together and I'll suck that beautiful cock of yours."

The next morning he took Alice home and then hurried to work, getting there before eight. The world was a beautiful place. Right up until lunch when he remembered he had a date with Denise. He thought about calling it off, but Sandy would have him for lunch, supper, and breakfast if he did that. At four-thirty he slipped out the door and headed home. There he showered, shaved and brushed his teeth before dressing in nice slacks, a long sleeved button up shirt with a bolo tie with a nice silver concho with a gold Texas shaped medallion in the center. He combed his hair and studied himself in the mirror trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach. He hadn't felt this nervous when he went to meet with Alice. He grinned at himself in the mirror and shook his head. He remembered the no bullshit manner Denise had on the phone and it intrigued him. She'd been blunt, straightforward, and funny. As much as he'd dreaded the date when he remembered it earlier, now he was anxious and looking forward to it.

Seven o'clock found him pulling in front of a small brick house. At the door, he rang the doorbell and waited. It was only a few moments before the door opened and a woman who resembled the photo Sandy had sent him gave him a smile. She was wearing loose fitting blue jeans and a Halestorm t-shirt."

"You must be Chad?"

"Yes, and you are Denise?"

The woman looked him up and down like she was appraising a side of beef.

"Nope, I'm Carla, Denise's sister. Come in, I'll tell her you're here."

Carla led him into the living room where she left him. After she was gone he studied the room. It seemed comfortable enough. A forty inch TV was centered on one wall and a brick fireplace that didn't look like it was ever used filled another. There was a couch, a loveseat, and a reclining chair, all mismatched but comfortable looking. On the walls there were paintings of trees and cats. All in all it was fairly eclectic but it worked.

After only a couple of minutes Denise walked in. He knew it was her immediately. She wore a mid-calf blue dress, buttoned up to just below her collarbone. It had a white collar around the neck and white cuffs at the wrist of the long sleeves. It was elegant, but not showy. Her feet were in low matching heels. Her jet black hair was straight and fell to just above her shoulders. One section was pulled back from the front and tucked behind one ear, giving her a sophisticated look. She was smiling at him and he realized he was staring. He smiled back.

"Hi, I'm Chad."

"Denise. Nice to meet you, Chad."

"Wow! You look beautiful." Chad moved toward her and she extended her hand.

Rather than shake it, he took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing her knuckles briefly and causing her smile to grow.

"My, my, you are a charmer," Denise said. "Come on, let's go."

Outside, he helped her into his truck and then shut the door. As Jimmy Buffet crooned about an avenue known as A1A, she sat by the door leaving space between them. Once they made the highway, she looked over at him.

"You look nice. Not many men wear western ties anymore." Denise smiled at him as she spoke.

"I hate real ties. These are a lot easier and they make me feel like I'm dressing up."

"Well, it looks charming on you." She looked out the window for a moment then turned back to him. "So what did Sandy tell you about me?"

"Only that you're a good person and that if I wasn't a gentleman she'd ... Well, she would be angry with me." Chad blushed.

Denise laughed. "I bet she didn't use those words. She is a wonderful and very colorful lady."

"Yeah." Chad paused as he merged lanes toward their exit. "I like Sandy a lot. I respect her opinion."

"I hope I can live up to her description. I'm not exactly the Virgin Mary, you know."

Chad laughed. "But no sex on the first date. Isn't that what you told me?"

Her smile slipped from her face. "Yes, and I meant it. Sex should mean something, Chad. It means something to me."

He pulled into the restaurant's driveway, getting in line for the valet. "I really respect that." He gave her a smile and she smiled back.

Inside the restaurant they were only a few minutes early and the hostess led them to their table right away. She took their drink orders; Ice Tea, unsweet, for Chad and Dr. Pepper for Denise. She laughed after he ordered.

"You can have a beer if you want. I'm not a tea totaler."

He shrugged. "I'm driving." The excuse pacified her, but Chad actually wondered why he hadn't ordered a beer. He knew he could have had one with his meal and still been fine. With Denise it had just seemed natural to order tea.

"So, Sandy tells me you work for Symtec?" Chad asked her after a pause.

"Well, for now anyway. There is talk of a buyout. We've been getting killed by DalTech lately."

"Sorry to hear that."

Denise shrugged. "It happens. We follow the rules. DalTech tends to play it a little looser. There have been rumors of kickbacks being given and worse to get contracts. I guess it's how business is done these days."

They sat for a moment more and then Chad made a decision. He really liked Denise and didn't want to start out their relationship without full disclosure.

"Look, Denise, I want to be honest with you. I went out with another woman last night."

She studied him but didn't say anything.

"Before I called you I'd told a friend she could give one of her friends my number. Well, last night my friend's friend called and we went out to eat. I just want to honest and up front with you."

Denise nodded. "Thanks. Did you guys get along?"

"Yeah, I think we did."

She leaned forward, her eyes boring holes in him. "Where did you eat?"

It wasn't the question he'd expected. He wasn't sure what he'd expected her reaction to be, though.

"We met at Nasty Jacks."

Denise leaned back and laughed. "Not exactly romance central." She looked around with a smile on her face.

Chad laughed and glanced around with her. The lights were low. There was a candle on the table giving it ambiance. It was quiet and they were in a booth with high walls that gave them an illusion of privacy.

"No, but the food is good."

"If you can eat it, I guess. Everything they have is way too spicy for me. I can't even take the blackened shrimp they serve here." Denise laughed.

At least she didn't seem mad. Would she be if she knew Alice had spent the night with him? Well, he reasoned, he'd told her he had a date. She didn't need to know the details.

"So, what's she like?" Denise was still staring intently at him.

"Who?"

"My competition. What's her name?"

"Alice." Chad paused looking into her eyes. Her face had gone flat and he was having a hard time reading her. "Do you really want to talk about this? I only brought it up to be upfront with you."

She nodded as she carefully cut the tail off of a shrimp from her scampi.

Chad took a deep breath, wishing he'd never said anything. "Well. She's like you in some ways: very direct, straightforward, smart, and she definitely knows what she wants."

Denise eyed him, holding the shrimp on her fork. "And what does she want, Chad?" She put the shrimp in her mouth.

He laughed and felt his face go red. "Well, that's the part that is different from you. She calls herself, polyamorous." Chad didn't really expect Denise to know what that meant.

Denise chewed the shrimp carefully and set her fork down on the table. "Is that what you want? You want to swing and have wild parties and screw every woman you can seduce into your bed?" Her face was still flat but her narrowed eyes gleamed.

Chad looked at her for a moment. This was not going well and he wanted to turn it around. On the other hand, she wanted honesty. Could she take honesty?

He shrugged, making up his mind to be as frank as she was.

"I don't think it's all about that. Oh, I'm sure there is that element to it, but the way she explained it made sense. Don't you think that people have the capacity to love more than one person?"

"Of course we do. Monogamy isn't about not loving others. It's about being devoted to one person. You can't be devoted to someone and still be having sex with another. It's just not possible."

Chad furrowed his brows. "Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's right for everyone, but with her, for her, it seems to be working. She is happy. Not inhibited, free."

"And you think that it would be right for you." It wasn't a question. Denise hadn't touched her fork again.

"No. I don't know what is right for me. All my life, what I've wanted was a woman to love and be true to. One that would love me back and be true to me. I found a woman I loved and I was faithful to her for seven years. Five years in, I found out she wasn't faithful to me. We still tried to make it but two years of trying proved she couldn't be faithful and I couldn't live with the hurt. Maybe if I'd been more open to her needs, maybe if I could have given up on the fairytale of two people falling in love and not needing more... I don't know."

Denise reached out and took his hand. She held it gently until he looked up at her again. The tear that betrayed him and slid down his cheek embarrassed him, but he met her eyes.

"It doesn't have to be a fairytale, Chad. Sometimes it seems like it and it gets worse every year, but it can come true."

"Have you found it?"

"No, but my parents did. My mother and father have been together fifty years."

"And neither one of them has ever cheated?" Chad kept his eyes locked on hers.

She shrugged. "I have no way of knowing that. But I know they still love each other. They hold hands when they walk. Dad still tells mom she's beautiful every day. They still kiss like lovers. That is what I want, Chad. And I'm willing to wait for it. I'm willing to wait and work and cry myself to sleep at night until I get it. I'm thirty-one years old and I'm still waiting."

"What if you find it and then you realize that even filet mignon gets old after a while and you want something different?"

Denise blinked. "What?"

"It's an analogy that Alice used. She said that she liked variety and that she didn't want the same thing every day. She said that even if you had the best, filet mignon, sometimes you wanted something else, like spicy bar-b-que." Chad didn't mention the taco and hotdog thing.

"I see. So she is filet mignon, huh. Well, I may be ground sirloin compared to a sexual Olympian like her, but," she gave him a wink, "ground sirloin can be very versatile. I assure you that I can keep a man interested for a very long time."

Chad laughed. "I bet you can."

The rest of the meal went well. They laughed and talked. He told her about Becky and how much she meant to him. She loved children and wanted to have some of her own, but wouldn't mind a step daughter as amazing as Chad made Becky sound.

"You have to do what is right for your daughter, Chad. I know it's hard, especially not seeing her as much as you'd like, but you have to be as good a father to her as you can be." Denise was smiling and she squeezed his hand.

"I know, and I do try. It's hard when Jennifer won't let me see her."

Eyes shining, Denise rubbed his knuckles. "Sandy was right, you are a good man."

Chad sighed. "I just hope I'm good enough for Becky. I want her to be proud of me."

"I'm sure she is." Denise said, her eyes locked on him.

At the end of the night, he was still holding her hand across the table. After paying the tab, he led her out and then took her home. She once again sat against the door but Chad didn't push it. At her home, he helped her out of the pickup and walked her to the door.

"Denise, I'd like to see you again." He said at the door.

"What about Alice?"

Chad blinked and tried to think of what to say about that. He thought they had got past his date. Now he realized, it was a deal breaker for Denise. It probably would have been for him too. His mind spun. His eyes were locked with hers.

After a minute, Denise smiled and reached for the door handle.

"Chad, I like you. I really do. You were honest with me and that counts for a lot. Tell you what, you think about it and when you make up your mind give me a call. I won't be the other woman or have a man who has another woman. If you want to date me, it's got to be just me. I like you and if you can play by my rules, I'd love to see you again. Call me when you know what you want."

She reached up and brushed her hand across his cheek. Her touch was warm and soft. And then she was gone and the door closed behind her.

Chad made it home, but he couldn't remember the trip. His mind had been in turmoil. He hoped he hadn't broken too many laws or caused any accidents while he'd been running on autopilot. He fell into his bed after pulling his boots off and lay there thinking about everything that had happened to him in the past couple of weeks. On one hand, he could have as much hedonistic pleasure as he could stand with two women who turned him on immensely. On the other was a woman he believed could be the woman of his dreams. Denise was smart, engaging, and funny all at the same time. He couldn't have both. He fell asleep with visions of Lilly, Alice, and Denise fighting for supremacy in his mind.