Clueless Henry

"Just go and sit down. It will all be clear in just a minute."

I went out and sat down on the couch and a couple of minutes later Tammi came into the room with a travel case.

"I never told you what turned Jules into an abusive drunk. While I said that I knew that you would never be like Jules I meant it from the standpoint of believing that you would never become an abuser, but I do believe that you would become just as disgusted with me as Jules did."

She reached into the travel case and brought out a half dozen VHS video cassettes, turned on the TV and pushed one of the tapes into the player.

"Before I show you this I have to tell you a little story. Once upon a time a poor little rich girl rebelled against her overly controlling and restrictive parents. She was tired of being sent off to the "right" schools and of only being allowed to associate with the "right" people. "Right" being defined by her parents of course. She was only allowed to dress on the proper clothing – again, proper being defined by her parents - and anything that she decided that he liked and purchased for herself that her parents didn't like was confiscated and disposed of.

"This went on for years and might have gone on for several more had not her parents introduced her to her husband to be. They had decided that he was "right" for her and they just naturally assumed that she would accept it as she had everything else. Her mother actually started planning the wedding on the night that the poor little rich girl was introduced to her intended – a man she had never seen before in her life. It was too much for her. The next day she cleaned out her mother's jewelry box and loaded several pawnable items into her car, drove into town, hit half a dozen pawn shops and then took the money and headed west. She did mail the pawn tickets home so the purloined goods could be redeemed.

"She ended up in Los Angeles, fell in with the wrong crowd, started doing drugs and because the poster girl for "Wild Child." She did a lot of things that were a real kick at the time. A lot of it for no other reason than to spite her parents. She eventually came to her senses, came home and healed the breach with her family. She met a wonderful man, married him and life was perfect until she came home one day and found her husband sitting on the couch right where you are now and watching this."

She pushed the play button. A title flashed on the screen, "The Wayward Teen" and it was followed by the credits listing several well know male porn stars and "introducing Sunny Daze." The opening scene was of a young girl standing by the side of the road in a school girl's uniform with her thumb out hitch hiking. A car stopped, driven by Hershel Savage, and the girl was offered a ride. A comment was made by savage that "It's only fair that since I'm giving you a ride you should give me one too." The next scene was Savage driving his cock into the girl who was still wearing her catholic school girl's uniform. T.T.Boy walked in on the too and joined in. The girl had Savage in her mouth and Boy in her pussy when Tom Byron walked in. Then it was Savage in her pussy, Byron in her mouth and Boy in her ass. The girl, Sunny Daze, was Tammi.

"The one you are watching is the mildest of the six. One of them has me doing a gangbang with nine men. One has me with a half a dozen blacks and the others are a mix of me with men and women doing all kinds of shit. In one of them I'm sitting in a bath tub with six men peeing on me while I laugh and rub it all over my skin.

"I'm not proud of what I did. I was drugged up or drunk most of the time, but you will notice that I seemed to be enjoying the hell out of it. That is because I was. The sex crazy woman on that screen is the same sex crazy woman who tries to fuck your eyes out of your head every night we go to bed. That was the problem. The girl on the screen and the girl here in the bedroom are one and the same.

"Jules found the tape when he visited an adult book store when he was in LA on business. After he found the first one he tracked down every video he could find that had Sunny Daze in it. The night I came home and found him watching the tape I thought my marriage was over, but it wasn't that way, at least not at first. Jules thought it was a hoot to have his very own porn star, but the more he watched the videos the more it had an effect on him. He watched me take on two, three or more at a time and saw me begging for more and he began thinking that one man wasn't enough for me. He got it fixed in his head that he couldn't satisfy me by himself and that since I wasn't climbing the walls in frustration or dragging him to the floor whenever I was with him that I must be getting the extra I needed somewhere else.

"He started accusing me of cheating on him behind his back. If I was a few minutes late in coming home it was because I was getting it on with a lover. If he called me at work and they told him I was in a meeting he just knew that they were covering for me while I was out getting a 'nooner.' If I was at home and he called and I didn't pick up right away it was because I had to pull myself away from my lover to get to the phone.

He started drinking and when he accused me of things I told him he was crazy and he called me a liar and hit me. One night he hit me several times and I called the police and they locked him up. He begged and pleaded with me to forgive him and he promised that he would never do it again so I didn't press charges and they let him go. Three weeks later he did it again and then another week later again and I called the police again and that time I pressed charges. The judge was reluctant to give Jules jail time so he gave him a suspended sentence on the condition he go into counseling. It seemed to work and things were good for the next five months and then I had to go out of town to a three day seminar in Denver. Jules called my room a couple of times and I wasn't there so he assumed I was in someone else's room and bed and when I came home he accused me of whoring around and when I denied it he called me a lying slut and then hit me. From there it went on until what happened when he broke into the house."

"Okay, but what has all of that to do with me? Why did you show me that? That is in your past. It was before you met me and it is none of my business any more than what I did before you is yours."

"I had to show it to you. Jules found it by accident and you could have too. I don't want to get married again and go through what I went through with Jules."

"I would never do what he did to you."

"Maybe not the physical abuse part, but what about the disgust part? I know that I'm highly sexed and I know that there are nights when I exhaust you and still want more. You know it too. What will you start thinking when I have to work late and get sent out of town to seminars and conferences? And what about parties and social events? I'm a good looking woman and I attract male attention. How long before you start thinking that maybe I'm slipping off to meet one, two or three of them? How long before you start thinking that since I'm always wanting more I'm out trying to get it?"

"It would never happen because I know you Tammi and you aren't that kind of woman. I know that if I put my trust in you that it won't be misplaced."

"You say that now Henry, but don't forget that Jules was absolutely perfect for me at one time and he changed. You are perfect now, but what you now know can and probably will change you too. If you do and we aren't married we can just walk away."

I just looked at her and shrugged. "Thank you for being up front with me about this, but it doesn't change anything. If anything it just adds one more reason to the list of things that make it necessary to find me my own place."

"One more reason?"

"Yes Tammi; besides the ones I've already mentioned we can now add lack of trust to the list. You don't want to marry me because you don't trust me and I can't live with someone who doesn't trust me."

"Damn it Henry, I don't want you to move."

"Maybe not Tammi, but I think that it will be for the best."

+++++++++++++++++++++

I found a three bedroom condo that I liked, bought it and moved in. I turned one of the bedrooms into a den and home office and settled in. I kept in touch with Tammi and we dated a couple of times a week and the dates usually ended in her bedroom or mine. I guess Tammi found another guy because she started turning me down when I called and asked her out so after a couple of weeks I stopped calling. The condo complex had a pool and an exercise room and I started spending time at both. The complex also had quite a few single women living in it and I met several of them when I used the pool and exercise room. I dated eight or nine, bedded three, but there was no spark between any of us so for the most part we were just friendly neighbors.

One morning I met Carol in the exercise room, asked her out and we dated a couple of times before falling in bed together. Again there was no spark that would lead to a long term relationship, but we did like each other so we ended up seeing each other two or three times a week.

It might have gone on like that for years except one night I came home from spending three hours in Carol's bed to find Tammi sitting on my front steps. I invited her in and after seating her on the couch I asked if she would like a drink and she said white wine if I had it. I got her a glass and then I asked her how she'd been.

"Miserable. Things haven't been right for me since you moved out. When you left you left a big hole."

"It couldn't have been too bad. You did stop seeing me you know."

"Yes and it was a stupid move on my part. As much as I wanted you I still needed a full-time man and dating you a couple of times a week wasn't getting it for me. Since you wouldn't be my full-time guy anymore I decided that I needed to date others to see if maybe I could find one who could take your place. I didn't feel that I could do that if I stayed tied to you even partially. I dated a dozen or so guys since then Henry and I've come to realize that you just couldn't be replaced. I'm here tonight to beg you to take me back."

"A dozen or so guys?"

"Yes Henry, a lot of men and you know my sexual nature so I know what you are thinking and you are right."

She opened her purse, took out a paper and handed it to me. "I had that done when I finally accepted that I was going to have to crawl over here and beg."

I looked at the paper and saw that it was a form stating that Tammi had been tested and had been found to be free of any social diseases. I handed it back to her and said:

"This is kind of awkward."

"What?"

"I guess I'll have to get one of these for you."

"Does that mean you will have me back?"

"I don't know Tammi. If by having you back you mean go back to what we had I don't think so."

"Put any conditions on it you want Henry and I'll accept them. I just want you back."

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Tonight I'm picking Tammi up from one of her charity meetings and we are going out for dinner, some drinks and dancing to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. As I was driving over to pick her up I thought about the last five years and some of the things that Tamm had worried about. She is still the sexual dynamo that she has always been and she does exhaust me and I know that there have been times – more than just a few I'm afraid – that I have left her wanting just a bit more. I've not become a Jules. I don't doubt her when she says she has to work late and I know that she is behaving herself when she goes out of town.

I'll never say it out loud or even let her suspect that I've even had the thought, but there are times when she leaves me lying on the bed a physical wreck that I almost wish she would stray a time or two and take the pressure off of me.