Daisies in July

I was leaning against Ron, my head on his shoulder, enjoying the feel of his arm around me, and wishing we didn't have to go back so soon. I lifted my head to say something and stopped as I saw Ron staring down at me. I froze for a few seconds and that was time enough for Ron to quietly whisper, "Lisa, you are really beautiful."

I know I'm not too bad. I was five foot seven, I was slim, my face was all right and I had begun to develop some nice curves. Still, I don't think a boy - or any non-relative - had ever called me beautiful. I felt myself freeze and my breath catch slightly as Ron continued to stare. And still longer as his hand moved to lightly stroke my face. I must have still been breathing but I only remember his hand turning my face slightly and then his lips approaching mine. Approaching and then touching and then pressing firmly against them. And my own lips were pressing back just as firmly.

That was my first real kiss. That first one lasted only scant seconds but some of the ones that followed lasted much longer.

We probably only stood there, clinging tightly to each other and kissing repeatedly, for fifteen minutes or so. However long it was, it was far too short. Still, it was long enough for the sun to sink below the mountains and reluctantly we finally separated and, still with our arms around each other's waist, started back.

We pulled the tree next to his parents car and then headed into the house. My dad said, "We were just getting ready to send out a search party. Thought you might have wandered over into Kentucky or somewhere. Afraid you might have frozen, but you look warm enough after all." Again I could see his smile and knew he was teasing but I felt myself turn a little red anyway.

Ron and I continued to date throughout the rest of eighth grade, freshman year and on into sophomore. Not exclusively, but mostly we went out with each other. Since neither of us could drive, we were quite limited in where we could go and what we could do. As far as we were concerned there was nowhere near enough time for us to be alone. On the rare occasions when we were able, we spent as much time as we could learning as much about kissing as was possible, although we really didn't go much beyond that. There was some petting, true, but only outside of clothing.

During our sophomore year we both got driver's licenses and then we could often find somewhere isolated to park and engage in some very serious kissing. But also during the spring of sophomore year we actually began to grow a little apart. We still both enjoyed the romantic activities - or I should say erotic activities, if I am honest. We still didn't go any further but we did really enjoy the kisses. No, it was other things that separated us.

I had become very interested in computers and programming and planned to get a college degree in the field. Ron, on the other hand, had no real academic interest and planned on joining the navy as soon as he finished high school. He never said explicitly, but seemed to think that a woman should not work outside the home and should just follow her husband around wherever he went. In the navy this meant waiting on shore for six months out of twelve. I could never imagine myself in that kind of future.

Anyway, over the spring of sophomore year we grew more apart. We didn't date as often and again started going out with others a little more. We never lost interest in the kissing but we did sort of somewhat lose interest in each other. By summer we had largely stopped going out together.

I did date some other boys and even spent time kissing a couple of them, but never anything as intense as with Ron. While I had thoroughly enjoyed those activities with Ron I had just come to realize he was the wrong boy for me.

My parents must have noticed when we began to see less of each other but they never said anything. However when a couple of weeks went by in May and early June without us going out, my mom finally asked, "Problems with Ron?"

We were alone and I had always been able to talk with her. "Not really a problem. It's just that we've sort of grown apart. I don't think I could ever get serious about him."

We were sitting at the table out back, sipping iced tea. She smiled at me and said, "Nothing lasts forever. Fortunately the bad things don't but neither do the good ones. The trick is to enjoy the good ones while you can and make them last as long as you are able."

I smiled back and just nodded. Later I was to realize that was probably some of the best advice she ever gave me.

That summer passed as had many others. I did date other boys occasionally. Mom, dad and I did a lot of things together. We took a trip over to Virginia Beach for a week and then went up to DC for another week. It was the first time I had had a chance to see any of the museums or monuments and I found myself quite impressed. At home we frequently would take a picnic lunch out into the woods or up to the hidden valley or sometimes over to a nearby state park. All in all it was a good summer and I never had time to regret anything about Ron.

School started and once more I became involved in class work and other school activities. I didn't have my own car but we had a car and a pickup and I could usually have one of those when I wanted to go somewhere.

One Saturday in late September three of us again took a picnic up to the valley. The weather was quite warm and clear but we had already had a few cold nights. When we entered the valley I saw that the asters had mostly gone. Only a few still remained, the rest gone to brown stems. I think the disappointment showed on my face as I said, "Looks like the asters are gone."

Mom touched my arm. "Nothing lasts forever. As you have heard, 'For everything there is a season.' Just remember the good things will come back again. Enjoy them whenever you can."

My dad smiled and added the often repeated verse,

"Asters in September

Frost before the snows fly

Violets in the springtime

Daisies in July"

I smiled then and said, "Yes. Daisies next July." A lot would happen before the next July.

Four weeks later it was nine o'clock on a rainy Saturday night. The temperature was down in the low thirties. Much more and the rain would become sleet. I was at home and had been working on school work. There was a big project due in another week and I wanted to get it finished early. Mom and dad had gone over to a nearby town that afternoon and said they would probably get some supper over there. I had made a frozen pizza and was again working on the finishing touches of my project.

I thought I heard a car pull up. I was surprised because if it was mom and dad they would have pulled around to the back and it was very rare for anyone else to come out here - especially this time of night. There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it.

Even out here I didn't just open the door to a late night knock. I looked through the peephole. Standing outside was a highway patrol officer, his cruiser behind him. I felt myself knot up a little inside but I managed to open the door.

"Miss Lisa Anderson?" He asked.

I nodded and stepped back. He entered, removed his hat and closed the door behind him.

The look on his face did nothing to untie the knots in my stomach. I think I knew what he was going to say before he said a word.

"Miss Anderson, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this but there has been an accident."

I swallowed. "My parents?" Was all I managed to get out.

He nodded.

Before he could say anything else I said, "They're dead, aren't they?"

I think he was surprised but answered, "I'm afraid so. I'm truly sorry to have to tell you this."

I nodded. In a voice with no inflection whatsoever I asked, "Just what happened." I knew my father - my mother, too, for that matter - was an excellent driver.

He confirmed my thoughts. "It wasn't their fault. A drunk driver ran a stop sign on the highway and knocked them over the hillside. They had no chance and it was instantaneous. The other driver was also killed."

I nodded. I don't know if he expected hysterics or not, but he seemed a little unsure at my reaction. It wasn't that I felt nothing. No, the emotion was there but I would deal with it later in my own way. I had never been one to fly off the handle. I have a very logical mind but sometimes emotion is so strong that you must put it aside until it can be handled in a better fashion.

I have since learned that not everyone reacts like this. In fact, I have been told that it is quite rare. But then I didn't know. I had always met emotional shocks - although never one this bad - in this way. I was always outwardly calm, doing whatever needed to be done at the time, and then later would meet the situation as logically as I could to resolve it.

The trooper asked, "Is there somewhere I can take you? Or someone I can call?"

"My dad's brother lives three miles from here. I would guess he should be told."

Still looking at me with a somewhat perplexed expression on his face he replied, "Why don't I take you over there and I can tell them what happened?" I nodded and went to get my coat.

He drove me over to Uncle Jim's in his cruiser. We went up to the door together and I stood by as he told my uncle, my Aunt Sara and my cousin, Don, what had happened. Their reaction was a little more emotional than mine had been but not hysterical or anything. I think the officer might have said something to them about me being in shock or something but they knew me well enough to know that this was probably the way I would handle things and told him not to worry. They would take care of me.

After twenty minutes or so the trooper left. My aunt and uncle made sure I was all right and in another hour they took me up to a guest room where I could stay.

By the next morning I think I had come to terms with what had happened. I was, of course, extremely sad, but realized it could not be undone. I remembered my mom saying that even good things can't last forever, but to enjoy them while you can. She had also said that more good things would come in their time, even if not the same ones.

I came down to breakfast and I think my aunt and uncle were not really surprised to see that I was in control of myself. They would take me Monday to see about arrangements, notify the school and so on. My uncle had already called the police and found out what needed to be done.

I missed the next week of school. The state sent a social worker out to see me. I was sixteen although I would be seventeen in a couple of weeks. Still I was a minor and the worker said I would need a guardian. They would be able to find me a foster home if needed. At that point my uncle stepped in and said that such would not be necessary. He was now my next of kin and could be responsible. If necessary he could adopt me.

We ended up making one trip to court at the county seat where the judge placed my uncle as the responsible person. Adoption was not needed unless we wanted it. As soon as we returned to my uncle's house, my aunt said I could move into the room I had been using. We could get whatever we needed from my home.

I looked at her. "Aunt Sara, you know me better than that. I'll continue to live at home."

"But the judge made us responsible for you. They won't let you live alone until you're eighteen."

"I'm not living alone. I'm part of this family. I just have my own room and that room happens to be a little farther away than most. Look, you know I can take care of myself. If I ever do need help, you're only a couple of miles off."

She still looked uncertain. Before she could say anything else, I added, "There has been enough of an upheaval already. There's no reason to make things even more different."

Slowly she shook her head back and forth and then smiled. "Lisa, I know you well enough and you are enough like your dad and like Jim that I know I can't change your mind. The only thing I'll say is it would be better if you don't mention your exact arrangements. We don't want the authorities butting in, now do we?"

I smiled back and gave her a hug. "No, we don't. I can handle most things and I know I can count on you and Uncle Jim to help if needed."

The next day I moved back to my own home. When the will was finally probated it really became my own, or would officially when I turned eighteen. I also found that my parents had had an insurance policy. It wasn't huge but it also paid double for accidental death. Additionally the insurance company went after the insurance of the other driver. Fortunately he had been covered. When everything was finally straightened out, I was left with enough to see me through the rest of high school and college. In many ways I was better off financially than I had ever expected to be.

Although I probably appeared to handle everything in a logical, controlled manner, there was definitely an emotional reaction. I just didn't show it as much as many people would, but I was deeply saddened. I loved my parents quite strongly and I missed them terribly. I'm sure there was some depression even if not really clinical. I mean, if I had had no emotional response then there would definitely have been something wrong with me. I had the response but I was able to deal with it in my own fashion. Some things did change. I spent less time with school activities. I didn't attend all the ball games as I always had, although I did make a few of them. It was well into the spring before I dated again and even then it was more casual than romantic. But overall, I managed better than even I would have expected.

My aunt and uncle were always ready to help with anything I needed and my cousin Don, who was a year older than I was, spent a lot of time with me. This did make things a little easier.

I had never really lived by myself but I now found it was not as big a change as I might have expected. I had always helped with the cooking and cleaning and so on, so this was nothing new. I made the change a little smaller by continuing some things we had always done. I actually put up a Christmas tree and decorated the house. When Valentine's Day arrived, I baked a heart shaped cake and then invited my aunt, uncle and cousin over. I even dyed eggs at Easter.

As I said, money wasn't really a problem and I quickly learned how to budget and handle any spending needed. There was no mortgage - the land had been ours for generations. Utilities and so on were paid each month along with the property tax when it became due.

I decided to let the corn fields go but to continue with the orchard. I didn't think I could handle all of that on my own but found a man who lived nearby who was willing to help for shares.

That fall I had started my junior year. I was taking all the math and science classes I could. The more I studied these areas the better I liked them. But computers were still my main interest. Also that year I took the SATs and scored pretty well. By spring I had decided to try for Ohio State when I graduated. I was told that with my grades and those SAT scores I shouldn't have any real problem getting in.

My social life continued to move slowly. I did date but not real frequently and none of them developed into any real relationship. It wasn't that I didn't get along or anything. No, it was just that none of the boys really excited me. At least not for a long term serious relationship. There were a couple who definitely knew how to excite me with their kisses. Still, I never went much further with any of them.

I did have a fairly high sex drive but I just couldn't see myself going that far with any of the boys I knew. Not even oral, although I knew a lot of my friends didn't consider that real sex and didn't hesitate along those lines. No, I wasn't "saving" myself or anything. I just wasn't ready to go that far with anyone I knew.

I did, however, relieve a lot of pressure by myself. I even managed to order a vibrator and a couple of other toys over the internet. When they were delivered in a plain package I relaxed and since I lived by myself, used them whenever the urge struck, which was actually quite often.

The year drew to a close. Final exams came and went along with a class picnic and a few parties, two of which I attended. I didn't look for a summer job anywhere. I had decided to keep the orchard going and that would take a fair amount of my time. Besides, I had sufficient money from the insurance. Not the way I would have liked to become financially set, but it was there and I was going to make the best of it. Until August I would have no school work but I still spent quite a bit of time studying programming on my own. I had filled out an application for OSU and waited for an announcement of early admission.

One day in late June I was working by myself out in the orchard. I heard a car pull into the drive and a few seconds later a "beep, beep" from the horn. The orchard isn't that far from the house and I headed back to see who had come.

When I came around the house I saw Don's pickup. He and a second man were standing by it. As I neared, I saw that the second man was a couple of inches taller than Don, and Don was six feet even. He had blonde hair, a little darker than my own, and as I came up to him I saw his eyes were a deep blue.

"Hi, Cousin," Don said. I hadn't seen him for several weeks because he was over at some summer camp for kids, acting as an assistant counselor.

"Hi, yourself," I replied.

He went on. "I'd like you to meet Dan. He was a counselor with me at camp. He's from up in Ohio, but I brought him back for a little visit."

I turned towards Dan. With a wide smile, which I couldn't help but return, he said, "I'm very pleased to meet you. Don said he had a beautiful cousin, but I see he understated it."

I felt myself grow slightly warm but then I looked Dan up and down. "I'm happy to meet you also. Dan hasn't said anything about you or even mentioned your name but I can see he understated that also."

That brought a laugh from both of us. Don was looking back and forth between us. "I see I may have ignited something here." Then he turned towards Dan and added, "But you'd better be a little careful, Dan. She's from West Virginia and can shoot as well as any of us. Don't get her mad."

Another laugh and Dan glanced at Don and then turned to look directly at me and replied, "Well, my family is from Kentucky so I can do pretty well myself. I always catch what I hunt."

I invited them in and brought out some cool drinks. For the next hour we sat around talking, Dan and I getting to know each other a little. I found that like Don, he also was a year older than me. I also discovered he had an interest in technical areas, especially computers, and planned to become an engineer, although he hadn't completely decided exactly what type yet.

When they left, Dan reached out to shake my hand. I'll admit I had found him attractive from the first but there were no bells and whistles. Still, his touch felt almost electric. "You're going to be here a couple of weeks, right?" He nodded. "Then maybe I'll see you again before you go."

A wide smile crossed his face. "You can count on it."

After they left I went back to the orchard but I realized that inside I was feeling something that I hadn't felt for most of the last year.

Three days later I was again out in the orchard when I suddenly heard a loud call from the direction of the house. "Hello! Anyone around?"

Startled, I managed to shout back. "Yes. I'll be right there."

When I got to the house I saw Dan standing by the gate by himself. I moved over towards him, unconsciously straightening my hair as I neared. I suddenly realized what I was doing and quickly pulled my hand back down. "Hi. Here by yourself?"