Dark as Daylight Ch. 02

"Teddy have I ever lied to you?"

"No grandpa, never lied."

I signaled the parents to form a single line and follow me. The cook and his helpers were busy dishing out ice cream. I asked them to put strawberry syrup on half of Teddy's, and chocolate syrup on the other half. We didn't have candles, or whipped cream, but I was able to bring multicolored sprinkles. I hid Teddy's behind my back, and she was desperate to see it. When I put it in front of her she yelled, "Creamy Cow!"

She didn't touch it. She jumped out of her seat, into my arms, and hugged me as tightly as her little arms could.

Gray and Delicious were stunned. "Dad how did you do that? There wasn't an inch of room in the freezers for anything to fit."

"You two may be geniuses, but you can't pack worth a damn. I have 5 more 5 gallon containers of ice cream in the freezer for the kids to enjoy. No child should have to quit ice cream cold turkey. It's an inhuman thing to do. Teddy wants all the adults to have ice cream tonight also. It was her idea, not mine."

My daughter said, "What did I do to deserve her?"

"Maybe someone upstairs has given you a blessing to repay you for your lousy childhood. Learn from her, be like her, and hopefully become a better person."

"I don't succeed all the time, but I am trying."

"That's all she can ask of you baby. Keep trying and maybe you will make it one day; maybe I will too."

By the time our conversation was over, every plate of ice cream was licked clean. You could not tell what was on them. If you were not in the room, you would think they had just come out of the dishwasher.

Teddy was all over me.

"Again, 2 days' grandpa?"

"Yes baby, we will do this again in 2 days. We have more ice cream in the freezer, which we will use on special days. Your friends have birthdays, and we will celebrate them with 'Creamy Cow.' I think that's the best way to use the ice cream we have."

"Grandma say you very sneaky. She not know about ice cream."

"Tell grandma she didn't know where I hid the M&M's."

Teddy blushed. "Grandpa, I can't say what grandma said. You spank me."

"Tell your grandmother God is going to wash her mouth out with soap if she doesn't watch what she says to a 3-year-old young lady."

"I lady now, not baby?"

"You will always be my baby. You are 3 years old now, and I think you are growing into a fine young lady. Your mommy and daddy think so too."

"I lady now. Thank you, grandpa; I act like a lady now."

I said, "No dress; dress like a 2-year-old Teddy, or like mommy. No dress."

"Thank you grandpa, I no like dress."

"You can start wearing dresses when you are 14 years old, not before, unless you really want to wear one."

"No like dress."

"Has mommy showed you pictures of her and a dress?"

"Mommy show me no pictures."

"Come to my room later, and I will show you pictures of your mommy in dresses."

"Don't you dare dad; she will get the wrong idea."

"What idea would that be honey?"

"If you show her the pictures I'm thinking of, she will think I was a tramp."

"Where you are tramp?"

"You know I wasn't. Gray is the only man in my life."

Gray said, "Wasn't I lucky?"

"Mommy no-hit daddy."

"Daddy not nice to mommy."

"You two are in big trouble. You now have someone in your household that is going to keep tabs on both of you. You better shape up, or she is going to be on your case every minute. Your mother talks to you through her, and what she tells you is not going to be pretty.

I'm sorry I wasn't in your life sooner Delicious. I didn't know you were my child. I could have comforted you, and given you the best of everything. Instead you got the worst of everything, except your mother. I can do 2 things for you and Gray. I can put you on separate shifts so you will never see each other, or I can put you in separate rooms, so you will never have a chance to fight with each other. I will give Teddy a choice; you two can share her one week at a time, or she can stay with Jennifer and I.

You've had 14 years to grow up with each other, and nothing has changed. Now I'm going to change it for you. You have 24 hours to make a decision. I'll meet you in the ready room at 0800 hours."

"I come with you; grandpa."

She was standing behind me, and I didn't even realize she was there while I was lecturing her parents.

"Okay young lady, come with me, I show you pictures of mommy in dresses."

Delicious yelled, "DAD!"

"I believe it's time for you to speak with your husband. Your daughter is with me. Work everything out, or I will separate the 2 of you. There are couples on this spacecraft who were unable to have children. They would love a chance to raise your twins."

"You can't do that. You don't have the authority to do that."

"Read your documents."

"If parents have shown they are unfit to raise a child on their own, and they have another child, the new child will be given to an infertile or childless couple, on a trial basis. If the new parents prove to be good and loving parents, they will be allowed to adopt that children at age 4."

"The two of you two helped draft that document, never believing it would happen to you. Well it has, and you will lose everything you made together and loved."

"Don't do this dad, I will kill you."

"I knew I was supposed to die on this trip, I'm only sorry to know it's going to be at your hands."

"Come on Teddy, let's go look at pictures of mommy in dresses."

Gray started walking away from her.

"Where are you going, we have to talk. I don't want to lose my children."

"Maybe you should've thought of that before, because I'm tired of arguing with you. I'm going to work."

"Gray don't do this. You knew I was a bitch when you married me."

He ran back at her like a freight car.

"You were 18 when I married you. I thought you might grow up by now, and you haven't, not by one single day. You are still a teenager between your ears, and that's the way you act. Let me tell you something young woman, you're not in Kansas anymore, and you're not a teenager. You're a 33-year-old, mother of 2 children, and you're expecting two more. Either grow up, or I will agree with your father to take our children away, and I'm out of your life also."

"I thought we were happy together."

"When, while you were not hitting me, while you were not yelling at me for something wrong, or when you were having a good day and just ignoring me. When was I happy?"

"Why didn't you say something?"

"What good would it have done me. You don't know how close I came to not boarding this ship just to be rid of you. Then there was Teddy, and Newton, and I would not leave them alone with you. I have to go to work."

Delicious sat on the floor, with a four-month belly just popping out in front of her, wondering what had happened to her life. It was like a punch she didn't see coming, and it knocked her for a loop.

Security walked by during their rounds and asked her if she was okay.

"No, I'm not okay, but there is nothing that you can do to help me. Thanks for asking."

They called Gray and he told them to leave her there. They figured it must be a lover's quarrel and decided to let it go at that. When she was still there at their next pass they could not ignore it. They called the infirmary for instructions.

Doctor Finch said, "This sounds like a perfect job for Sandy."

**************

"Still holding up that wall I see."

"Not now Sandra please, I'd rather be alone."

"How far down the wall do I have to be for you to be alone? Is it 3 feet, 5 feet, 20 feet, or do you own the entire wall? What happens if I sit across the way from you? Do you own that area too? I'm pregnant, and my feet hurt; does that give me permission to sit down, or do I have to walk all the way back to my room to sit down? I know you put a lot of work into building this thing, but I didn't know you owned every inch of it. If you do, why were we invited along?"

"Okay Sandy sit down."

Sandra sat down so close to her that their shoulders touched. She felt Delicious begin to move away when she grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"This is called conservation of space. If people have to walk around us they don't have to walk too far. Now, exactly how much trouble are you in?"

"Is it all over the ship already?"

"No, my husband told me to stop by. He thought we could swap traumatic stories. You go first, then I'll tell you how I fucked up my life and my marriage big time, over something so small you won't believe it."

"I guess my husband is right, I never grew up. I was deprived of a childhood, and I'm stuck there. I learned how to cope by being a bitch to everyone except my mother, and she was taken away from me. She was my only link to normalcy, and I lost her to a car accident. I moved from the poverty of the Maine, to the luxury of Colorado and I was expected to fit in. Even, who I thought was my uncle, turns out to be my father, which we found out through my mother's diary. He gives me every chance in life to grow up and do what I want to do and I always managed to fuck it up.

I was 17 when I met Gray. I fell in love instantly. It scared the shit out of me, because I didn't know what to do with a man. My mother taught me how to keep them away from me, because of the way my father looked at me, and because of the way the boys and school acted towards me. My father constantly beat my mother. When I was a newborn, she found him playing with me. She told him it if he ever touched me again he would not wake up in the morning. She knew if he ever had a chance, he would've raped me, but she never gave him a chance. The first 16 years of my life were hideous. Then she died in the accident, and I am told, I'm going to my mother's brother who have never met. We start out as absolute enemies, but within the next day we are friendly, not friends, but friendly. It was very strict with me. Language was sacred to him, and if I said a bad word $10 went into this pretzel jar we had on the kitchen table. You had to go one full week without cursing to take the contents of that jar. The first winner was Gordon. He was four years old. I believe he won almost $10,000. He gave the money to Jennifer.

Even told me to go with my heart and not my hormones in reference to Gray. That's the only restriction he put on me, if you can call it a restriction. Gray and I slept in the same bed for almost 11 months and never made love. I went to my marriage bed a virgin, which is what I promised my mother I would do. If it was important to her, it was more important to me. We had Newton 9 months and 2 days after we married. We were thrilled. We put off having more children because of our work schedules. I didn't realize how abusive I became to Gray, and others, during our working years. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but apparently I didn't see her enough, or for the right reasons. Tonight I had the boom lowered on me twice.

My father said he was tired of our fighting and was going to put us on different work schedules so we didn't have to see or do deal with each other. He was going to do that, or put us in separate rooms. Then he said he was going to take my babies away and give them to a childless couple, because Gray and I had become unfit parents.

When he was finished with us, Gray walked away from me. I yelled at him to come back, because we had to talk. He said I should've thought about that before, because he was never happy in our marriage. The only reason he got on the spacecraft instead of leaving me was our children. That was a very tough thing to hear from someone you've been with for 15 years. I turned into the man I thought was my father. He was the worst human being on the planet in my eyes. He was a womanizer, a drunkard, a wife beater, and a child molester, and that's why turned out to be. How did I do that? How could I possibly do that to my mother, who shielded me from him all her life."

Delicious broke down and cried. She finally made the connection between her father, her actions, her words, and her violent outbursts. All these terrible things avalanched down upon her in one short, repulsive wave. She no longer had the will to live. She realized what she had done to her mother's memory. She realized what she'd done to her partner of 15 years. She realized what she had done to her children. Her household was the reverse of her mother's; she was the abuser, and Gray was the protector of her children. She shook her head when she thought about what she had done to her parents, her friends, and those she worked with. What a vile person they must have put up with.

She couldn't live with that on her shoulders. She hoped her mother would understand her decision to kill herself, because Gray and her children deserved a better life. She would do it after the twins were born. In the meantime, she would ask for a separate room. She didn't want Gray to suffer her abuse any longer. It was the least she could do for him.

She would ask her father to relieve her from her duties on the flight deck because of her mental status. Since everyone had to work on board the vessel, she would ask for some kind of menial job to keep her busy. She didn't care what it was, as long as Gray and the children were happy.

This is not what she was saying out loud, but Sandy listened to the tone of her voice, looked at her trembling hands and knew more was going on in her head then she was saying. The tiny microphone hidden in her bra, for her husband to listen to their conversation, would hopefully help her also.

******************************

Joe rocked back in his chair. "Now, not only do I have to become an obstetrician, and a brain surgeon, I have to become a psychiatrist also."

Hannah kicked him in the ass.

"Have you ever heard about delegating authority Joe?"

"What did you just call me?"

"Doctor, why?"

"No you didn't. You called me something else. I heard it loud and clear."

"If you heard it loud and clear, it must have come from the hallway."

"The doors are closed. No one can hear a thing from outside. What did you call me?"

"It was a slip of the tongue Doctor; it will not happen again, until I have my diploma, and my license."

"18 hour days' nurse. You gonna study your ass off, just like I did. I'm going to test you verbally every 7^th day, for 8 hours. Then you'll get the written exam for the next 8 hours. You will not set foot in the infirmary, unless I call you. I'm going to work your ass off to the bone for the next year, year and a half. While I'm doing that to you, I'm going to be training 6 nurses 12 hours a day. I'm going to be going easy on them, because their younger and prettier than you are.

I'm going to let you skip the first book every doctor reads, because I like you, and you already know a lot. However, everything else you're going to earn. You're going to be a doctor, and you going to be a damn good one."

"Doctor, just so I don't have to look up the computer, what is the name of the book every student gets when they enter school?"

"How to pay off your loans, how to set up an office, how to save for the future, and how to get on staff at local hospitals. It's required reading, and a grade of 90 or above is required to pass the course."

"You're fucking with my head aren't you?"

"If you don't believe me, look it up on the computer."

"Damn your ass Joe, now I have to."

"There you said it again."

"I will deny it."

"Don't deny it just call me Joe. We're going to be on board this ghastly thing for who knows how many years. We may even have children together."

Jack Daniels walked into the infirmary holding his hand in the air.

"If she's going to have a baby with anyone Doctor, it's going to be me. Keep your hands off her, she's mine."

Hannah laughed. "It's been a lot of years since 2 men fought over me. As it happens, I like it."

"Good, because I'm taking you to dinner tonight. He's married and I'm not. I'll take you to a room with a view."

"There are no rooms with a view."

"If I take you to a room with a view, will you go to bed with me?"

"Colonel you work very fast."

"I'm 78 years old, how slow do you want me to go?"

"An actual view with a window, not a television set."

"A room with a view Hannah. You can look out at the stars, without the use of a television camera."

"Do you know how long it's been since I've been to bed with a man?"

"Do you want to bet it's been shorter than the time since I went to bed with a woman?"

"No, I don't think I'll take that bet. What time is dinner?"

"You name the time, and I'll meet you at the cafeteria. After that you are mine. By the way, would someone fix my hand. I seem to have mangled it in a machine?"

Hannah said, "Well that's one hand I won't have to worry about tonight."

"I heal quickly."

******************************

"Okay, how do you go from your father to your mother which is where you want to be?"

"How do you change who you are?"

"That's not who you are, that's who you mother protected you from. What are you going to do now? All you saw was your father's behaviors, what were your mother's behaviors?"

"Mom would always place herself between him and me."

"Is that all she ever did?"

"No, we had signals. If she wasn't in the house a piece of cardboard would be one way, if she was it would be the other. She never wanted me to be in the house with him alone."

"What if he came to pick you up at school?"

"My mother was very specific. She told the secretaries to write down that he was never allowed to pick me up even if I was dead."

"I guess that was specific enough."

"The principal thought it was."

"What about sport activities?"

"I could always run, but when Gray came along, I became an athlete. He taught me so much, that I really began to love it."

"Do you still run together?"

"No that's sort of drifted away."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess life got in the way."

"Life never gets in the way. You two drifted apart. Do you know why, or do you want to guess why?"

"I just figured out why. I was an abusive partner. I was my father, and he was my mother. I was a bastard and he was a saint. He protected the children from me, while I was in the process of destroying our household. I don't know why he never mentioned it earlier. He told me tonight that it was because of the children. He wanted to stay off the ship and be rid of me forever, but he couldn't, because of our kids. If he stayed he couldn't protect them, and he wouldn't let me be there soul parent. Can you imagine a man being afraid to let a woman be alone with her children? Isn't it usually the other way around? How much of the bitch I must've been to make him feel that way? Why couldn't I read the signs. I want to speak to my father and get another room. I'll call you later, maybe we can talk again if you're willing?"

"Of course we'll talk again, and again, and again. Where the hell are we going to go? I've been told were going to a White Hole, whatever that is. It was supposed to take us years to get there, and we were supposed to go into stasis. Now were not going to do it, because we are moving so fast, we're going to be there in a matter of weeks or months. This should be a very interesting exploration of the universe.

I could really do without dodging meteors, especially when I'm eating, but I guess it's all part of the fun of looking at something new. Let me know your new room number, and I'll help you hang the new drapes."

Sandra got up first, put out her hand and Delicious took it. She hefted herself up, and hugged her friend. She took out her communicator and called her Dad.

"Dad where are you, I need a minute of your time."

"If it's only a minute, you've made a decision. Have you told Gray?"

"No, I'm going to leave him a note. I think it'll be better that way. I don't want to have another argument with him, because he's been right all along."