Eloise's Journey

"Morning." He said, his cloak now off and his harsh, broad face visible. Eloise squinted for a second as she looked at him, her eyes still weary. But she recognized him. She knew him right away. The same unruly mass of black hair, same bushy beard. Same enormous frame.

"You....you're the Nilfenhem War Chief. Not some guide." She said, horrified to see the man who'd terrorized her so as a girl. He was as massive as she remembered, the ensuing years doing little to age him. If she had to guess she'd have said he was twice her 18 years but, she admitted, he'd looked the same age nearly 10 years ago.

"I am the War Chief. Yes." He nodded "Which makes me the best guide ever. And the best fighter ever and the best hunter ever and the best fisher ever and the best lover ever and so on and on. Your friends wanted to ensure your safety. So they agreed to a steep price to ensure the best protection for this scheme of theirs."

Eloise just glumly shook her head. She'd gone from being a fawned over princess to being a dirty merchant's assistant, assisting the man she used to have nightmares about, in less than a day. She stared ahead at the road they were travelling, clearly making their way west from the city.

"Your friends seem to know their business. There's been no attempt to block the roads this way. Apparently it didn't cross their minds." Olaf said, seemingly at once impressed with the intelligence of the Movement and contemptuous of the Army's response.

"News has gotten out then?" Eloise asked

"Indeed, messengers this way and back all night. Unless something else exciting happened last night it's a safe bet all of your vaunted Navy is setting up some blockade or another." Olaf gave the horse a little encouragement. Eloise simply sat and did her best to savour the sights of her homeland, knowing it may be her last chance to look on every leaf and tree that had once seemed to mean so much to her.

"We should use this as an opportunity." Olaf said, matter-of-factly "We will at some point be stopped and searched and you'll need to know our story."

"I'm Sonia and you're my father, Olaf." Eloise repeated.

"Tremendous." Olaf said, more contempt in his voice "And what village are we from? What do I sell? Why is my daughter with me instead of a proper assistant? Why are we returning with an empty carriage?"

"I don't...."

"Congratulations. You've gotten yourself captured and me killed. Or you killed and me having to bust open two guards' heads and forfeiting the second half of my payment." He spat "So, as I said, let's use the time to get this straight."

Olaf then spent the next 20 minutes imparting their slightly complicated back story. Each time she made even the slightest of mistakes making her start from scratch and repeat the process. Eventually she had learned the story to the point where she could recite it word for word, even answering slightly varied questions about it as he fired them at her.

"Not bad." He said finally, admitting she'd made the progress needed. Eloise beamed. She'd always been a smart girl.

Olaf's insistence on practice had been prescient for, no less than an hour or so later they did finally come upon a guard station. Two guards manned either side of the road, their Halberd's crossed so as to prevent any passage. Olaf brought the carriage to a halt and sat still as the guards approached them.

"State your business." Asked the one on his side, his Calandrian accent being a pleasant change to Eloise's ears even though she feared capture.

"I'm Olaf. Merchant." He said to the one who approached on his side. Eloise did as she'd practised, looking straight on ahead, even as the guard's weapon passed near her feet.

"Why are you here, Nilfenman?" He asked again

"Returning home. Made my sale."

The guard on Eloise's side looked hard at her

"You, girl, what did you sell?" He asked sharply, doing his best to examine every inch of her face.

"Whiskey. 18 barrels." She said plainly. Ordinarily she'd have thought to said sir but Olaf had strictly informed her that Nilfenwomen only recognized two titles, Father and Chief. If the man was neither, you'd address him plainly.

"How come your cart's not full then? Isn't that what merchants typically do from stop to stop?" This was directed to Olaf

"We just deal in Whiskey. Make it and sell it. Your Calandrian spirits are like water to my people. Won't sell." he shrugged. The one questioning Eloise kept at it.

"Where are you from? What's your name?"

"Sonia." She said, still doing her best to mute her upper class, educated tones. "The village of Bruggeshill."

This seemed to more or less satisfy the two of them. They clearly had bought Eloise's act and lowered their spears slightly.

"Seen anything suspicious on your way here?" one asked "We're looking for an escaped....prisoner."

"What does he look like?" Olaf asked

"She, actually. Blonde hair. Very comely. Posh and such." he said "Supposedly a chambermaid of someone. Stole something."

Eloise did her best not to smile at her description and then the fact that, though the Army was on alert, there was already a cover story floating around. Either these men didn't know they were looking for the Princess or they'd been told not to instruct the public. Either way, Eloise knew it meant that her disappearing was of great embarrassment and would cause great uproar when actually discovered. Marietta and the Movement's plan may just work.

"Nope," Olaf shook his head "No Calandrian women. Just my daughter here."

"Hold on a sec." The one looking at her said "Why'd you bring your daughter with you? I thought you Northerners didn't let your women out of the village."

Eloise didn't let it show but her expression froze. This had been the one part of her story they hadn't discussed. She had no idea what to answer. Thankfully, the question hadn't been posed to her.

"That's how I make money on my ride back." Olaf said "Either of you two lads wants to get your dick wet in her it's 10 of your gold coins or something of like value, your choice as to how she takes it."

Eloise remained still but inside she was livid. She knew he'd kept that from her on purpose. Acting as though she was a whore? Her old prejudices came back to her. The man was a beast. A vicious, cruel beast. And worse, he'd blown their cover. The guards would never believe that....

"Gods, you Nilfen are animals!" exclaimed the one who'd been questioning Olaf. The other one actually looked as though he was considering the offer.

"Suit yourself," Olaf shrugged "But her mouth is second to none I've ever had."

Eloise held still. She knew her life depended on it. But inside, she was as revolted as the first guard had looked and the second guard now looked.

"Get the hell out of Calandria, filth." The man said, waving them past. While both of them looked at Eloise with a mix of disgust and pity, believing her to be a girl being sold and enjoyed by her father. She'd never felt more rage and humiliation as they went past. Yet, she held her tongue, mot speaking until she was well sure they were past the ear shot of the guards. When they were she turned to him and spit at him, the glob of her saliva splashing against his robe.

"You contemptible, filthy cur. I am the heir to the throne of Calandria and I assure you that no matter what the risk to my personal self if you ever speak of me in such a manner again, regardless of the guise I'm under, I will make sure you are strung up and your belly opened for my personal amusement."

Olaf just wiped the spit from his robe.

"It worked didn't it? They couldn't wait to see the backs of us." He said "And you're going to have to get used to your inheritance being mainly null and void at this point. You're just a woman now. Act accordingly."

"No matter the station of my birth I would never allow anyone to speak to me as such or use me in such a disgusting fashion. I have never done anything like what you described. What you Northerners do with your women sickens me."

Olaf simply shrugged.

"And it's useless as a plan besides. We were saved by the good grace of Calandrian decency. If those two weren't such good examples of my nation's men our plans would all be for nought."

Olaf nudged the horse on a little faster, tiring of the sound of her voice.

"No, Princess, if those two weren't such good examples of your nation's men we'd have been delayed 10 minutes and have 20 extra gold pieces."

(RCH: Those two upstanding, if perhaps a bit gullible, Calandrian soldiers were Privates Edmund Cork and Barton Tilbis of the King's 3rd Guard Division and had in fact been briefed to watch for the Princess. When reached for comment Cork, now a Master Sgt. with the same Division, said "I kind of had a feeling something was up. She was a little too fresh-faced to be some Northerner's roadside meal ticket and when he brought up the thing about her mouth she definitely gave something away in her eyes. She could have snapped his head off she looked so angry. But the truth was I was as opposed to a union between the Princess and that Ascibian monster as anyone and was already something of a supporter of the Movement. So I certainly didn't want to call her out on it and send her back". Tilbis, retired from the Army and now a private merchant himself, said "That was the bloody Princess? Fuck me. Now I wish I'd had the ten gold pieces on me.")

~Chapter Five, in which hands are dirtied~

They'd travelled the same road for days now and the Great Western Mountains were in view. Both Olaf and Eloise knew that meant the border soon. Because of the harsh mountain passage to cross the border, Olaf had decided that they'd stop for the night and make camp rather than simply continue on through the night as had been their custom. He'd been driving for days and Eloise proved unable to take the reins from him. They'd found a small clearing and Olaf had started a fire before heading into the nearby woods to find something to eat. That was good news. Eloise was starving. She hadn't eaten a proper meal since leaving the palace and Olaf's supplies were just dried, cured meats that Eloise found awful. She'd eaten only tiny bits and pieces to get her strength up. Fresh something, anything, sounded delicious to her now. She sat near the fire and tried to warm her hands a little, the air was cool this near the Mountains. She'd been enjoying the fire so much that she'd barely even noticed Olaf's return with his arms full. He dropped the pile in front of her roughly, causing her to yelp. In front of her were two dead animals and a pile of various other things. She recoiled at the dead animals briefly before looking up at him, impressed at what he'd caught with seemingly no tools or weapons.

"How did you manage all this?" She asked, already trying to see what they all were.

"I'm the War Chief. Best hunter ever, best scrounger ever." He said, sitting down on a nearby log. "I don't know much about your wilds so some may not be edible, some may. Do you know?"

"Of course I do." Eloise said, asserting herself. "All I've done since I was a child is study my Kingdom. I can identify every blade of grass in our fields, every fish that they sell at the markets."

"Good for you." Olaf said, warming his own hands, clearly unimpressed.

"Like this," Eloise continued seeking to prove her point by holding up one of the root vegetables he'd brought "Is a Red Mountain Parsnip. Usually farmed, can grow wild. And these are Mountain Field or Princess Clara Mushrooms, named for their flecked spots. My great-great-great Aunt Clara was quite freckled about the time they became popular in our food and those are two Fastback Hares. Not eaten often, as they tend to be lean and quick, rather than your farmed rabbits but they can do in a pinch."

(RCH: While well taught, Princess Eloise had been taught something of a sanitized, royal family friendly version of our nation's history. Most in this office now accept the theory that Mountain Field Mushrooms had been renamed Princess Clara Mushrooms by the locals because of certain comments she'd made about the farmers in the Mountain region and their complaints about the heavy tax rates the local Nobles had imposed. Clara's remarks supporting the Nobility could only, in the eyes of certain locals, have sprung from the same wild fecal matter that the Mushrooms tended to grow in.)

"A fascinating history you people have." Olaf said sarcastically as he retrieved a knife from his boot, tossing it towards her "Now make them into a stew."

"What?" Eloise said, staring at the long, sharp blade as though she didn't know it's purpose.

"Cook them. Into food. For us to eat." he repeated slowly as if speaking to a child.

Eloise was taken back. She'd never cooked before in her life. Now she was expected to skin and prepare two animal carcasses? And cook them over an open flame? She looked at him like he'd asked her to jump in the air and stay afloat.

"There's a pot in the back of the carriage. Set it up and get cooking."

"I don't know how!" She said, as if that should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain, which was about what she pegged Olaf as having.

Olaf sighed in frustration and picked his knife up from the pile along with the two Hares. He took them to where he'd been sitting and began skinning them, even the sight of which Eloise found distasteful.

"Out of curiosity, do they teach the women anything down here? You can't cook, can't drive a carriage, you looked at that knife like you'd never seen a weapon before in your life and, as you said earlier, you've never been with a man."

Eloise was feeling very small and weak until he'd said the last part.

"Of course I haven't. I'm a Princess. I was to be married to the next King. Who would want a Queen of spoiled virtue?" Eloise asked, glad to be turning the tables slightly. In her eyes, only the least civil of people could not instantly recognize this.

"Who would want any woman who didn't know her way around the bedroom?" Olaf asked, just as amazed as she'd been. "Explains your Men a bit, I suppose."

Eloise fumed some more. Olaf just continued speaking of his people as he prepared the animals.

"We men are meant to be out hunting and fighting and sailing and plundering. So our women must not be helpless waifs. They need to be able to cook and mend a broken roof and work a plow and forge our blades and rear our children. They have to know how to please us when we come home with spoils and defend the town when we're gone."

"Your wife must be a very fine creature indeed." Eloise said with a shake of her head, trying to picture the woman unlucky enough to be Olaf's fur covered bride.

"Hah!" Olaf laughed as he finished with one animal and moved to the next "A War Chief doesn't have a wife."

"So...."

Olaf continued to explain.

"Each Village has a first woman. The strongest and smartest and most able. When I'm in that Village, I'm in her house and her bed." Olaf said fondly "Although technically it's my house and my bed. Technically all of the houses are mine, I suppose."

Olaf paused, as if he'd never really considered this before. Eloise tried to stomach her distaste for the arrangement and probed. She'd always figured diplomacy would be part of her life and learning about other nation's and their customs was part of it, she supposed.

"So how many First Women are there?" She asked

"How many Villages? 70 or 80. Something like that." Olaf said, unsure himself

"So how many children do you have?"

Olaf grimaced as though he'd never really considered this question either.

"Twice that many?" He guessed "I don't really keep track."

This too seemed monstrous to Eloise. To have hundreds of children and not even know them? But she pressed ahead.

"And how do you choose who your first woman is?"

"I don't. They do. Whoever is first woman can be challenged by any woman provided neither of them are with child. If she can best her physically then someone comes to get the War Chief and I come to the Village and, after spending the night with the challenger and provided I'm satisfied with her in other areas, she is the new one. She moves into my house, she raises my children."

"What happens to the old first woman?" Eloise asked, now concerned for hundreds of women she'd never met.

"Does whatever her challenger did. Challenger farmed, she farms. Challenger made steel, she makes steel."

"That sounds horrible. Your women sound beastly"

"Now you know why the Ascibians were unlucky when came across one of our war parties, unluckier still if they came across a village." Olaf smirked

The whole thing sounded barbaric to Eloise. Worse yet, it was where she was going to be living for the foreseeable future. Olaf was right. She didn't know how to do any of those things. She'd be....well, she didn't know what she'd be. Useless. She looked at Olaf and ducked her head up, feeling very tired and very alone but determined. Confident.

"Stop." She said, causing Olaf to pause from his skinning and look back at her.

"Why?"

"You're going to have to teach me, right? To skin and fix roofs and make plows and everything if I'm going to be of any use to my new village"

Just saying that made Eloise feel awful but if she was going to be joining their culture she was as determined to be as positive a member of her new society as she'd been to be a good Queen and Wife. Olaf considered this a second before nodding.

"So what first? Fighting? Roofing?" Olaf asked

Eloise shook her head. She'd start small.

"Might as well teach me to skin and cook a small rabbit." She sighed, rolling up her sleeves.

"You're in luck. I'm the best Skinner ever. Best Cook ever too."

That night went reasonably well for her first night under Olaf's tutelage. He did a good job of teaching her the finer points of using the knife to skin, gut and bone the rabbit and then setting up the pot. There wasn't much to the cooking. There wasn't any fine spices or complicated methods to use. But Eloise was a fast learner and a hard worker and by the end of the night she'd cooked the rabbit and the other ingredients into a simple but palatable meal for the two of them. Olaf had simply shrugged. He was only impressed that a woman from the South was so eager and willing to attempt to learn his ways. The results were adequate at best. Eloise, though, had gone to sleep with her arms aching and her face dirty and smeared with animal blood but she felt accomplished. Like she'd really done something.

She was intent to drift off to a peaceful slap but the sound of slapping of flesh had started beside her. She'd rolled over and looked at Olaf and saw his massive fist wrapped around an even more massive penis, stroking it quickly. Eloise had never seen one before, only had them described to her by Marietta. But Olaf's looked, despite his massive frame, over sized even for him. Thick as one of her arms and bloated at the top. It looked like it belonged on a horse instead of a man.

"What are you doing?" Eloise asked, bolting upright and moving away from him

"Why? You want to learn this part too?" He asked, vaguely hopeful

"No. And never. I want to contribute when I get to the North, not be one of your women." Eloise said, noting with some dismay that he was not stopping his stroking.

"You won't do it, so I have to." Olaf shrugged. "Been a long time since I saw one of my villages, been with one of my women."

Eloise rolled over so that at the very least her back was to him.

"God, that thing is grotesque." she exclaimed, trying to ignore the sound of his hand.

"War Chief." he said calmly "Biggest cock ever."

(RCH: Olaf's claims about his particular greatness remain something of a mystery. Whether he really was widely acknowledged to be historically accomplished, and sized, as he claimed it has never been verified due to the oral, rather than written tradition of Nilfenhem and our general lack of familiarity with their culture. During the course of my research for this book I travelled by ship to the nearest Nilfenhem village and spoke with their village elder. I enquired as to where the Nilfenhem's historical records on such matters were and was informed by the Elder that he had the historical records right there and I was welcome to study it for as long as I wanted. He said this, however, while grabbing a hold of something that, while impressive, was decidedly not what I had come to see and so the mystery continues.)