All Comments on 'Empty Nest Pt. 02'

Not much here in the bridge but a sexual binge for Jason, nothing about Anne. Son now injured, and will be with cheating wife at bedside. RAAC?

So Jason is in great shape, well hung, and can fuck like a pornstar... yet Annie said sex with Sam was the best she'd ever had? Was it because she got off on cheating? Or because she got Sam to eat his own cream pie? Or was she just lying to massage his ego?

Annie's affair doesn't make much sense if her husband is super lover.

Although writen well this has been about as boilerplate as it's possible to get.

Absolutely nothing original, if the main character rides off into the sunset with a beautiful younger lover it's getting 2* although if there is powerful emotions writing to come in the last chapter (s) the score improves drastically.

Here'shoping the author does not go for the easy option.

part one was good, I was looking forward to part 2, I enjoyed it, it was well written but I think you left the door open for part 3, I certainly hope so, im glad Jason and cathy got togeather, ok she wanted to taste another sexual partner, maybe even a bit of revenge sex, but Jason went all out and made it romantic when he could have just fucked her in a hotel, very well written and thankyou for sharing , but please .. it needs a part 3,,

And everyone lived happily ever after, even Sam who didn't end up with his dick in his mouth, wasn't even shown the end he's never seen.

I really didn't get this line "I was also going to have to face Savannah and explain why her father was in New York, in a hotel room, and with a woman she didn't know about."

What's to explain? Your mother, as you know is a slut, we are getting divorced as you also know. Do you expect your father to remain celibate? Then the killer, I'll go into details of my sex live with you when you go into details about yours with me...quickly followed by Ewwww Dad!!!

He did things just right and the divorce papers are signed. He should have taken "Mrs Mason" with him to the hospital tovisit his kids and soon to be ex.

Let's have the rest of the story. You're doing ok and I appreciate the effort.

I like the story but you made the husband perfect . Why would Annie cheat on him? Looking forward to your next chapter.

reasonable man

Very good so far by my reckoning.

Waiting on part 3.

Will we hear what the wife has to say?

Will he dump her for Cathy?

Looking forward to part 3.

Why would Annie cheat if Jason is made out to be perfect in every way? Financially stable, romantic, well built, well hung, fantastic lover.... If the empty nest board thing hit her and she cheated just once the can explain to me. But in chapter one she did it several times with the same guy and screamed at how great Sam was. Yet in this chapter Sam's wife definitely makes it appear Jason is far better in every way.

Chapter 3 may explain it all but PLEASE do not RAAC. Let Jason come out on top. Annie does not have to burn in hell but don't let her "win" by having the affair then keep the husband and all he and she had.

"I made sure to let her know that I didn't want this to come between her and her mother." - N-o-o-o! It's not his responsibility to maintain the relationship between his (ex) wife and his daughter. That's between them.

"No matter what was lacking in our marriages, they didn't have the right to go outside of the marriages looking for answers. They should have addressed those with us. If anyone is inadequate it's the two of them." - Exactly!

"CATHY" - No, don't change POV!

Of course he's bigger than her husband and a better lover,

"Now, I had tried to move on and start a relationship with Cathy." - I wouldn't say that he "tried" to start a relationship with her. One may be developing after the trip to New York, but that wasn't the intent.

Several edit errors. A "flighty"?

unimaginative plot. AND the last couple of paragraphs are very unfortunate. Someone has commented on the penultimate, so I won't, but the "closure" dreck in the last drags the story off to Oprah and Dr. Phil Land. Can authors write stories that don't seem to be aimed at the kind of women who watch day time TV?

Since 9/11 security at airports and getting flights on short notice are all red flags, yet writers still act like getting them and running threw security are a piece of cake. He tells her he is taking her away for the weekend but not where just meet me at the airport.

As they ready to board he informs her they are going to New York City where they have reservations and the best restaurants. He is wearing a suit and tie, did he bother to tell her to bring fancy dresses? Hamilton? You couldn't come up with anything better? I wonder just how much a wonderful weekend like this would cost? Annie gets three rolls in the hay at her house, Jason gets several test runs while his out of town and a twenty thousand dream weekend with the other guy's wife, wheres the equity in that.

I gave you a five the first time but can't stretch it that far this time.

Can I have some more?

Good story, great job, Thank You. 5 , well earned, ******

I laughed at one of the comments though regarding talking to 'Savannah' After your line " I was also going to have to face Savannah and explain why her father was in New York, in a hotel room, and with a woman she didn't know about." I agree with the commenter

"What's to explain? Your mother, as you know is a slut, we are getting divorced as you also know. Do you expect your father to remain celibate? Then the killer, I'll go into details of my sex live with you when you go into details about yours with me...quickly followed by Ewwww Dad!!! As the father of daughters, I just know this would be a good way to go! :-) I think that one commenter suggested bringing along Cathy but I can't see any upside. Savannah would have already told Annie about the woman who answered the phone! That would be just enough. No need to wake the sleeping 'bitch'

To me, this author has writing skills, but this first submission seems to be as boiler plate as it gets. I assume from the title, that 'empty nest syndrome' will be the wife's excuse for her cheating.

I would bet on reconciliation.

A few typos but still a good story. Some have said that Jason seems almost too good/perfect. I disagree I'm not sure if I like him or not. One thing for sure he's a hypocrite one minute he's outraged (quite rightly) then he goes out and bangs married women. No matter what angle you look at it from it still don't make it right. Annie I think does love Jason although her actions don't show that. She seems typical of how a lot of wives are defined in this section. A wife who wants her cake and eat it.

Family relationships are always difficult particularly when 'challenges' arise. Had I been Savannah I would have hung up on him Father or not. I say that with conviction as my Dad and I have not spoken in over three years. He shouted down the phone at me called me a few names and I hung up and blocked him. I had a disagreement with my paternal grandfather (ex grandfather as far as I'm concerned). I'm not going into details as it's very personal. My Mom tried as a peacemaker but the damage was done. I can see a few possibilities for how the story will end. I'm not going to say as the writer has to make up his own mind as to how it ends.

Write On!!! I think our hero has now recovered and is moving on to a new babe! That is kewl !!!

This writer is and has been justifying (excuses) for everything....AND - He IS going to return to his wife, go to counseling and live happily everafter.

I reduced my scoring to a 2.

Don't bother with Chapter 3, we have ALL read it before!!!

However you see his actions, whether you feel they're justified or not, he's certainly not perfect!

I'm not reading that. Maybe on your next you'll pick a narrator and stick with them. Good luck, Randi.

Ahhhhhhh, She cheats and brings someone into his house. That is both a breaking of the commitments and a total lack of any respect for him. He owns his own company and makes a lot of money. But, it is unfair to the slut that he is spending it with someone else. Well to bad, sour grapes to the slut. She caused it and he left. There is nothing fair about cheating. To bad she didn't get treated equally by the piece of shit she slept with. Some of you really don't get that once you cheat that's it. Your done. No more gravy train. If he spends his time and money on himself and others then, Tuff shit to the slut.

Hope he gets back together with his wife. Make her grovel though

Anne married to a hard body stud with a larger cock.and a great provider and lover. So why would any women cheat with this so called perfect mam??? So he goes off with Cathy to NYC spends a ton on Hamilton ,a room and dinner, airfare all for a romantic evening with Cathy the cheated wife. So explain the Annie reason for cheating? So does Sam fall in love with Cathy or does he just move on. I see no reconciliation possible here.the author really needs to explain thing better. Then the accident to cut the weekend short. Just crazy.

Both parts one and two are rated around 4.2 at this point, which I think is right around where this story should be rated.

I'll try to summarize why I liked the story and what I felt would give it a higher rating:

1. It's well-written.

2. The characters are realistic. He's not a saint like some LW stories present the husband, but reacts like a human being.

3. There were really no major logical holes in the story. The only thing I caught, and it's only because I'm a numbers nerd, is that in the first one they only had to bug the Master bedroom and one guest bedroom. With three kids, of two genders, and since they seemed to have the means I would have thought there should have been at least three bedrooms in the house, if not four or more.

4. The story flowed well.

Why I think it doesn't deserve a higher score that some of the great stories in this category has gotten:

1. The characters don't come to life. I didn't really get involved too much with any of the characters. So some more focus on this area would help. I honestly don't care what happens to any of them. Not because I think they're vile or something, but because I'm really not invested in them much.

2. No real interesting insight in the story. There wasn't a moment where I went, ahh, interesting angle or take on things. Even if discussing the same point or insight someone else has mentioned before, putting it from a new viewpoint or angle or analogy could still make an impression. Having said that you sort of left that open in the third section in that Jason seems to be more dominant and Sam seems more submissive. After 25 years does that explain why she may have been tempted to cheat. That difference? Usually in LW stories it's the other way around, but it will be an interesting take that after 25 years of having a dominant partner did a part of her crave the opportunity to be in charge? Years ago I had a neighbor where the husband cheated and the woman he cheated with was the exact opposite of his wife. His wife was pretty, meek, very feminine (almost too much), dainty, extremely soft spoken almost at the whisper level, and the woman he cheated with and I think left the wife for eventually was aggressive, overweight, loud and butch. I couldn't wrap my head around it at the time, and the only thing I could think of was did he have something so extreme on one end that he craved different so much that he went for the exact opposite?

Funny reading some of the comments. It's like the only reason they read a story is to see if the couple get together or not. If the "bitch" is cast aside or he takes her back. This usually is one of the lesser aspects that interest me in these stories. The journey dealing with the betrayal is much more interesting to me than the destination itself.

Equity???!!! She cheated, the divorce papers are signed, he is free to do whatever he wants.

I am very surprised that no one else (at this point) has mentioned the fact that he is doing to other men what was done to him (other than DirtySingleMom). There has been lots of comments from anti-cheating people and not one of the has castigated the father.

I personally lost all respect for him. I want them all to suffer.

I look forward to chapter three with some trepidation. I'm concerned that the often used 'medical calamity will force reconciliation' storyline might be used. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

good story but i dont like any of the characters but as i said dont have to to be a good story. jason sounds like an asshole and wouldnt have been surprised if he had some cheating in the marriage, maybe during one of his business trips. i thought this would be the last part or chapter is why i started reading it but looks like it not probably wont read the others idk maybe skim them to see how u end it. gl

From one Carolina boy to another—this ain’t near as bad as some would have you believe.

Sure, maybe a few typos maybe some plot weaknesses, But I’m betting those doing the criticizing can’t do nearly as well.

One of the most laughable points they make is their complaint about lack of originality. Here they are—on a free site which caters to amateur writers and they are bitching about non-original stories—ain’t that a bitch? From the best I can learn, there hasn’t been an original plot in centuries; the best we can hope for is adding a different twist to a well done plot and the odds of finding that here are slim.

Another point—blackrandl1958 is an excellent writer and any new comer would do well to consider her advice; however she is not infallible, and her advice about the second first person narrators should be researched before you adopt it. I once caught hell about the same thing, not from BR58, and my research showed that two 1st person POV in same story is acceptable but not too popular. There are novels written like that, (I didn’t record the titles because I was only searching for my benefit) In a novel you change chapters when changing the POV, however that’s not practical in a short story, so the recommended solution was “BE SURE NOT TO CONFUSE THE READER.” One would think your writing CATHY in caps between sections should do the point, however…

I’ve tried using a series of stars (*****) then starting the paragraph off using the new POV”s name.( EX ****** Cathy's POV or Cathy takes up the narrative…) Almost anything you do will be criticized so just keep on writing.

Good Luck carolinadreamer

what wrong, first cheating wife, pick ups, etc. too much toooooooooo fast. slap hapy papy #9

"Finally, it was clear that until a worked through all the shit with Annie and brought closure to our relationship that I could never move on."

I don't understand this at all. She cheated, brought another man to his house, the trust is forever gone and it is time to move on. There is nothing to work through but the division of assets and alimony if any.

That last nonsensical sentence reduced my score for this work to a 2 and meant I'll probably skip any future chapter.

She likes...no adores him and he her. So finish the dann story.

there is no' 'right way', and with all the psychology classes and therapy i'v had, i can say with clarity that he did a good job with how he handled that trauma.

now, i call it a trauma because for him that's what happened. his entire world view got turned literally upside down. a faithful spouse builds many decisions, thoughts, and actions based on their loyalty and faith that their spouse is likewise committed. that's YEARS of building on what these cheated spouses THOUGHT was a solid bedrock. But it turned out to be sand. So many things start to slide and fail.

a good way to deal with toxic people and traumatic events and triggers is to FIRST ditch the toxic people, and avoid the events/triggers. At first. Next you'd want to maximize YOURSELF. There was nothing wrong with both these spouses seeking pleasure outside their spouses. Their spouses had cheated them, and let them down. They rightly came to the conclusion that these people will tear them down, not build them up. I'm not going to say one-night stands in excess are healthy, but I wont call a few to build their confidence back up as lovers is a bad thing. they cut out the source of their negativity. they found comfort in each other. not just purely physical too. that's a good thing.

but yes, his last step is to confront his ex, much like the cheated wife will have to confront her cheating husband. now, closure isn't always a good thing. that's a myth. sometimes real closure is just ending a chapter and starting a new one. there's no universal rule that forces you to talk to a toxic person in your life. and these people ARE toxic. Maybe not habitually, and maybe their getting caught made them better people. I don't actually care. If he WANTS closure, he should get it. i'v found personally that some relationships that ended were better off without closure, and some were. It varies from relationship to relationship. he did need to have a long sit down with his children, but he never ignored them. he talked to them frequently, honestly, and with love. all healthy steps thusfar. if his one-night stands were interfering with his ability to function, then you can raise red flags. sometimes people eat a bucket of ice-cream after a death in the family. it's not ideal, but it's not a habit either. i'd call that healthy.he's had to go through the five stages of death....because his relationship died that day. there is no cookie cutter way to navigate the five stages of grief. maybe he goes through all five when he confronts his ex wife, maybe none. i do know he did the right thing. by his utter devastation reaction towards her cheating, i can only say, for him, it's dead and gone. it really isn't up to her. relationships need two willing people. he isn't willing. she's the one person he would bet millions of dollars on to never hurt him, and she did. people need to be happy, free, and healthy. she probably would only bring him lingering aches and anxieties. she has become toxic....for him. i'm not branding her as toxic for all, just for him.

You also have to watch your switching between first and third person, which you did on several occasions. Slopping writing.

It looks like a cake, it smells like a cake, and to be fair, it is a cake. But its a box cake, mixed and baked according to the directions, just like every other box cake cheating wife story out there. Great marriage, great kids, then presto change-o the wife is a cheating slut. Husband walks out, wife is devastated, but husband recovers by having great and plentiful sex with other women. The only thing left is how he goes about burning the bitch and which beautiful sex tigress he ends up with in a new happier marriage. Fucking the assholes wife is only sweet if the asshole finds out they fucked. And for all we know the asshole has been getting all the amazing monkey sex he wants from the husband's slut wife, so what does Sam care?

Except for the stroke trolls who just need some inspiration they can't get from real life, these stories rise or fall on how believable the characters' thoughts, actions, and emotions are. And you've already boiled the plate till it is sterile and empty. Its a tough box to get out of:

Wife is a cheating slut with no obvious motive other than she's a cheating slut, and for some reason this was her first opportunity, or husband just finally caught her, this time. Can't believe he hasn't gone for the DNA test on the kids. Who know's how long he's been married to an aardvark?

Wife has disappeared from the story, but apparently she just threw away the perfect marriage with the perfect husband who is a fantastic lover. If you try the "your cock is just too big and painful" excuse I hope you develop permanent writer's block. The entire family has been shuffled off to limbo while this husband morphs into his own version of Sam The Asshole. Putting the horns back on Sam seems anti climatic given how gloriously and enthusiastically Annie embraced her fuck fest with Sam. Its hard to see why the wife thinks there is any thing left of their previous relationship. Obviously there was nothing about that relationship she thought was more important than fucking Sam, not to mention her own lack of honesty, self respect, and moral integrity. It continues to beg the question, what about this woman was ever appealing or good?

Anyway, hopefully the exercise will hone your skills and eventually you can do this for a living. Right now its worth what were paying for it.

The one anony with the long comment in your favor was spot on.

The others are mostly way off. People cheat for more stupid reasons than for good ones.So she might have cheated on a good man. Sex could have been better bc it was rougher. A lot of us big guys are so worried about hurting gals, we tend to not be too forceful. I had to learn to be a little rough once in a while.

Thanks for the entertainment!!

You mentioned his flaws, and you're right! He's flawed, he's not perfect!

So what? Who among us is?

How many stories do we read comments complaining about the "saintly" husband, then we get a story where the husband ISN'T saintly, and there's complaints about that!

Writers can't win.

Have enjoyed reading the first 2 chapters. As far as as anonymous comments, take what you need from them and disregard the rest.

It may surprise you (likely not) that I disagree with your comment " 'I made sure to let her know that I didn't want this to come between her and her mother.' - N-o-o-o! It's not his responsibility to maintain the relationship between his (ex) wife and his daughter. That's between them."

A parent who truly loves his children wants them to have as strong family ties as possible. He just disclosed to the daughter that her mother cheated on HIM (if the children are young, yes when one parent cheats they are cheating on the family, but when the children are out of the house and on their own then it's cheating on the spouse almost exclusively), a good parent would mitigate that with at least a simple sentence "look this is between your mother and me, she has been there for you for 20 years and you've messed up often and each time she has loved you unconditionally and has been in your corner every single time. She's the one that's messed up this time it's up to you to be there for her, and love her unconditionally." It will also teach the daughter not to be rigid and expect perfection from others (and most kids to a degree or another unconsciously believe their parents are infallible so this is an especially good lesson). He doesn't need to hold meetings between them to make sure they're good, but saying that one line is more than appropriate. Just like parents don't approve of what their children did when they messed up, they let the children know what they did wrong and show their disapproval, but they don't throw them away. Otherwise good parents and siblings should expect the same when they mess up.

A better step even is for the husband to have told the wife you tell the kids I have reason to be upset and want a divorce without disclosing what happened. The kids will likely assume, but that's fine. If you don't and put it on me then that will force me to tell them what you did. A good parent puts their children's welfare above their own hurt, and parents (especially a mother, and especially to a daughter) are important for kids even in adulthood.

This is assuming she was a good parent to start with. If she was a piece of shit parent then it's fine for this to be the last straw that broke the familial relationship between her and her children. But if she had been a good mother then that line and his attempt to minimize the damage on the children is the least a good and caring father would do. Not for her benefit (even though if he loved her for 27 years he would care that she doesn't lose her children's in her old age even if it's hard to think that way in the immediate aftermath of her betrayal), but for the good of the children.

To me a real man is a leader, even though the children are now young adults, and will want to still watch out for their interests when appropriate and still want to impart on them important life lessons.

I wasn't going to reply, but then I read a little closer and saw the part about kids messing up and how we don't dump them.

Well, that might be true for SOME things, like wrecking the car, or cutting classes, or petty vandalism. But what about criminal acts, or participating in neo-Nazi activities. or cheating on THEIR partners. I think that we all have our lines that our kids better not cross if they want to maintain a relationship with us.

WHINY CICK SHIT IS THE FORMULAR IN LW.

Hurry up with part 3, 😉

Chapters are too short for a 5 day wait between installments.

I like it though and will wait till he gets to the end to blast his character outlines. That is, if CG even cares! Mid 4 stars.

Great middle part to an on-going series. Hint! Hint! Hint!. Oh well, I tried. I enjoyed this 2 part story very much. Hope this author keeps up the good work!

Talk about being rigid. You’d dump your kid for getting involved with bro-nazis, cheating on their spouse, and criminal activity (you didn’t qualify how serious)?

If my son one day while in his late teens or early 20’s joins extreme left wing or right wing movements I’m actually going to spend more time with him to help him get away from such toxic ideology, not abandon him. The same with all the other stuff.

The only way I’m abandoning my son is if he is some type of sociopath and its irredeemable situation. Interestingly the children who are likely to join extreme organizations and behave in toxic behavior likely had judgmental, unforgiving, and distant parents.

Parents and family are supposed to be the last bastion if you fuck up.

JohnADP

Why the hell would anyone want to go to New York and see some stupid play when there is a whole beautiful world out there to enjoy, Stuck in some hotel room no mater how nice and deal with a bunch of arrogant asshole rude New Yorkers. Some people are really fucked up.

OK how the hell did this guy get Hamilton tickets in less than 2 weeks????? Is he personal friends with God? Oh wait, you still wouldn't be able to get tickets

FYI a block goes on sale June 11th for November 2019...get em while you can

I THINK you mat have misconstrued my feelings a bit.

I would NOT do ANYTHING to interfere with my kids relationship with their mother.

HOWEVER, if ON THEIR OWN they didn't want anything to do with her because of what she did, I wouldn't argue on her behalf, none of the, "She's still your mother" stuff.

As for being rigid with my kids, you again chose the most extreme version of my position. Naturally if my child joined a hate group or whatever, I would try to pull them back, but once it became clear that they wouldn't change, then yes, that goes beyond simply "messing up," and I would cut them off.

Usually, after a story begins with the drama part,

we get explanations or background of main players.

Here we got sex.

That's unusual, though not original,

as so many demand.

Isn't it amazing that the less you give,

the more you demand?

This part of the story wasn't as captivating

as the first part, but fun to read just the same.

4 out of 5 from me.

CG, you misuse quiet and quite and further and farther..other wise, great, thanks

half of the stories here, wives are presented as these perfect little beings. then the bad or evil man comes in and she is defenseless against him. But there is this magic word that works..."NO". And half of you are brainless idiots when it comes to that fact. Instead you blame the husband. He's going through a divorce caused by his wife and Cathy's husband. And I'm sure Cathy looked her husband in his face before she left for NY. Is he wrong for fucking Cathy....Yes. And Cathy not only didn't say "NO" she asked for it. Now go blame her husband, its JUSTIFIED.

the story was ruined by mentioned the plays Name(Hamilton)

Cathy seems like quite the little honey. Great revenge sex. Cathy will be very tempted to stay seperated from her cheating hubby after getting screwed by a BIGGER, better equipped MAN!!! She won't be able to feel her lesser hubby now. Why would Annie cheat with a SMALLER man??!!

Get some back from the cheating bastards. Sammie's wife is perfect for mutual revenge.

I like when women have just a few extra pounds, it makes them so soft and feminine