Extending the MILF List Ch. 13

"Sonny, you fuck Pixie any time." She said. "I fuck Sonny any time. Sonny make Pixie see Jesus and he smile for Pixie." She laughed like she'd said something horribly funny. I tried to laugh but couldn't. My face was numb.

I opened my eyes. Suzanne stood over me in a fetching pants suit with a tight sweater. Her lipstick was smeared, giving her that silly clown mouth look. I smiled and closed my eyes. The two women left. I snoozed.

I roused and was sitting up when Borland arrived. He stood staring down at me, weaving on the bed.

"I say, old chap, you're in the bag."

I looked up at him and agreed. I was certainly in the bag. I staggered to my feet. He offered to call me a car but I couldn't leave my own new car sitting in a parking lot on a Friday night. I told Borland I'd go down and have breakfast and see if that wouldn't sober me up. The mixture of anxiety, sex and scotch seemed to have altered my state.

"Mr. Duncan, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you being such a sport about all this. I fear we have used you abominably."

I grinned and then winced. Moving my cheeks made the world move. "Mr. Northcutt, I must be mad as a hatter because I am certain that the husband of the woman I have had sex with on several occasions just apologized to me for something but I cannot for the life of me determine why."

He sat down on the bed beside me, in what I would imagine would be a fatherly manner if I'd had a father and father's behaved the way their children wished they would, at least during times of stress. The bed moved and I felt the depth of my transgressions roiling my stomach.

"Sonny, in truth, I am not finished imposing on you."

I looked at him. His hand wasn't on my knee so my gaydar wasn't going off. I reverted to form and was agreeable and compliant. "What can I do for you, Mr. Northcutt. If it has the same dimensions as Pixie, I shall bid high to do you another service. What is Pixie's last name, anyway?"

Mr. Northcutt smiled and looked away. "Let her remain Pixie, a myth you can tell your, well, you don't tell such myths to your children. Another time. I just hope we can remain friends so that I can perhaps call on your particular skills again, if I make up my mind to do so."

That sounded ominous. "My skills. Just what skills are you in need of."

He stood up. "Get your breakfast young man. I am sure they serve it across the street at the diner under the big Pink chef's hat. Its pretty good, I think. I have been in my cups a few times in this neighborhood and found solace in their pancakes and coffee."

My stomach growled and I realized I hadn't eaten much if anything at all. I was in the elevator before the thought came round again that Mr. Northcutt had neither answered my question nor given me any clue what might require any skills I possessed. I shook his hand and told him I would be glad if we were friends but then asked, as his friend, if his wife made another suggestive suggestion, what should be my reply. Honestly, I don't remember what he said. I don't. In fact, I didn't remember asking him till somewhat later, when I had had Mrs. Northcutt again and she recounted her husband's mirth at such a question. She told me I had to ask him when next we met and then she informed me I would be hearing from Borland. That occurred somewhat later.

I went three rounds with the waitress at Louie's Diner, the greasy spoon across the street that catered to all the stylish drunks and, as it turned out the police. Two tables of cops were in the front near the door. Realizing I was both underage, technically and drunk, I sidled away but they took no notice. Just seeing them sobered me up a little.

As I commenced my third plate, a wonderful omelet, someone slipped into the bench seat across from me and nearly choked me. I managed to finishing chewing and swallowing despite the fact that my mouth had gone completely dry. I had to slosh water around to get that bite to go down. It rather ruined my appetite.

"Mr. Wills." I said, when I could speak. "What are you doing here?"

"Following you." He said simply.

Not only did my appetite depart, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. The food had fortified me, fortunately. If he had arrived earlier, I might not have rallied in the face of such shock. I decided to skip the, "I don't know why you are here" play acting that required dissembling and outright lying when you get down to it so I did my best to look him in the eyes and said, "Where did you go? After you realized your son was fucking your wife?"

The man's eyes closed. I was having trouble keeping my own gaze steady so that was sort of a relief.

"Incest." Jeb Wills breathed the word softly. "In my own home." His eyes opened. The man had a sort of manila folder handsomeness, plain but not because of a lack of character in his face, just a face that had no real features that you'd notice. His eyes focused on me. "Do you know what I do?"

Now this was a source of speculation among us guys and I know Mom and Laura had discussed it. I spouted our best guesses. "Interpol? CIA? NSA? Military intelligence?"

The man actually grinned. "Nothing like that." He wiped a hand over his eyes. "No, exactly like that but in a somewhat less formal environment. When I was in the military I had some intelligence training but the things I do now, let's just say it doesn't always fall within the realms of international law."

I think he saw me try to swallow the egg that formed next to my Adam's apple because he waved a hand at me.

"Nothing like that. Well, sometimes but mostly I work with people interested in industrial espionage and that sort of thing."

Then he said something that left me looking around for Alice and the white rabbit.

"Mr. Duncan, can I call you Sonny?"

Not that, what he said next. "Sure, Mr. Wills."

"Sonny, I need your help."

That was it, the thing that made me certain I had slipped and fallen into Wonderland. After all, I had just been blown in a room full of people and then fucked Pixie the forgetful cocksucker and set off quite an orgy if it continued as it appeared to have done when I left. Then I fucked Pixie again. Borland Northcutt tells me he wanted something else from me, besides fucking his wife and having Pixie blow me a time or two and now Jeb Wills appears across from me and tells me he wants my help. Me!

Jeb was watching me and I think he saw the expression on my face and properly interpreted it as shock.

"Sonny, listen, let me explain some things. I travel. A lot."

I nodded. Happy that I could understand that statement and that it matched my experience.

"I, as you properly guess, do not work in normal arenas of commerce but in what would rightly be considered to be free lance clandestine services."

I tried to get out of the seat to leave and failed. My legs wouldn't move. I had to ward him off. I am not a coward but I know my limits. "I can't help you with any of that. I'm just a regular guy. Find someone else. I bet Chris would be very happy to help you out. Way more useful than me. He's mechanical." I said a mouthful but neither of us realized it at the time and I am not referring to the fuck rail.

He shook his head. "No, I don't need help with that part of my life. This is personal. It has to do with my wife."

Now I was nervous. My stomach felt like I'd swallowed a huge spring and the release had been, well, released. It hurt too much to be nauseous, if you know what I mean. I guess that would be pure D fear.

Mr. Wills patted the air between us. "Relax, Sonny, here, let me tell you this. I am sure you heard about me catching Chris and Laura on that contraption he built."

"The rail." I said automatically.

Mr. Wills nodded. "Sure, the rail. Chris was having sex with his mother and when questioned, she insisted that it was her idea, or at least with her full consent, even approval if I understood correctly. Sonny, I was there to tell Laura, no to ask Laura for a divorce."

"Oh shit, that probably made things worse."

Mr. Wills shrugged and I don't think I ever saw that man shrug before. "Worse, better, I am not sure either of those words matter or make much sense in what I am about to tell you. I never got around to that subject, as you might imagine. I was shocked." He stopped, waved a waitress over and asked for water and a cup of coffee and, when she asserted that the apple pie was fresh out of the oven, he ordered us both a piece with ice cream.

I wanted to wave off the ice cream, it was colder than a slighted polar bear's irritation outside but I couldn't find the words.

"I was coming back to ask Laura for a divorce, to tell her I had found someone else. Now Sonny, I need to explain that to you. I am sure you'll find it amusing."

I shook my head. Nothing about this moment was amusing to me. This was the second time I shared a meal with the husband of one of my MILFs, okay, third if you count Mr. Northcutt but he seems like several deviations away from the mean. No matter, I had long ago accepted that MILF diving was likely to rouse the ire of the deep sea husband and I'd be confronted with that ire at some point. I decided as I was drawn deeper into the MILF ocean, that when the irate husband arrived, I'd take my beating or whatever like a man and not try to bamboozle anyone. I'd speak the truth and take my lumps...and die young and leave a pretty corpse as the case could well be.

Our pies arrived. My last meal?

Mr. Wills took a bite and rolled his eyes. "God, that is excellent pie!" He mumbled. He finished his before I took a bite of mine. I was pretty sure it'd stick to my tongue and if I tried to swallow it, it'd get stuck and then Jeb Wills would have the option of performing the Heimlick maneuver on me or letting me choke and I didn't want to put him in that position. That's me, always thinking of others. I bet I could teach Gandhi-jee a thing or two.

Mr. Wills wiped his mouth and propped his elbows on the table. "Sonny, through the years of our marriage, Laura and me, I have been home about two years in actual calendar days. Out of twenty years, that's not so good. I get restless and I have to travel, I have to go this way and that and do things and well, Laura was a home body and then there was Chris. She seemed content with living without me around and I was like the beloved rich Uncle who came home and spoiled Chris and earned love I did not deserve taking him golfing or to football games or whatever and despite all that, he prefers the theater.

"Oh, I know he isn't gay. I think Laura did a fabulous job." He grunted and bobbed his head sideways. "I don't mean her having sex with him. I mean in all the other, more usual ways. That, I'll get to that. As for me, I have not been much of a father."

"Better than none at all, Mr. Wills. Any effort works pretty well for a son compared to no opportunity."

He regarded me for a moment and finally dropped his eyes to stare at his empty saucer. When he looked up, he smiled, a sort of wistful smile. "There. That's the reason I didn't have you killed."

I couldn't even try to swallow. Fuck me, here it comes. Mom is going to be pissed. I thought to myself, thinking, making her leave the huge cock she was fucking in China to attend my funeral would just irritate her. I was partly right.

"You are a good kid." Jeb sat forward. "Sonny, I know about you and the MILF list, about all the pussy you have been getting. I know more than you can imagine. See, the reason I wanted the divorce is up in my hotel room. Her name is Tia Maria Callistrano and she's Filipino. But no, its not just stray pussy." He grinned.

"Son, listen, I have no room to complain about anyone else when it comes to loving the one you're with. If I'd been notching my belt, I wouldn't have enough left to keep my britches up." He shook his head. "I have to say you have fucked an impressive array of pussy over the past few months. As a man, I admire that but that likely just confuses you."

"More. Confuses me more. What are you doing here? Does anyone else know you are in town?"

He shook his head. "I don't let people know what I don't want them to know." He picked up the fork and poked at a flake of crust on his saucer. "Sonny, this is difficult to say. I kept my lives separate, the life here with Laura and my life out there. When I came home, I was the solicitous, gentle, and devoted husband who doted on his kid and loved his wife. I treated Laura like a princess. I don't think we ever fucked once. We made love, not a lot but usually by the time I got home, she was ravenous. I never once considered that she had other interests. She never gave me any reason to think she stepped out on me, with a couple notable exceptions, I am sure she didn't. She seemed perfectly devoted to me."

He stopped bullying the pie crust flake and looked up at me. "How long has it been going on between her and her brothers?"

Oh shit. I thought. I wasn't the only one on his hit list.

Mr. Wills waved the fork at me. I flinched.

"Not your concern, I know that."

"Since they were in college." I said. "Whenever they get together..." I stopped.

"They fuck. I figured that out. After you left that morning with Mrs. Kingston, I installed myself in their house and watched them. A body can see a lot of what goes on in my house from the Kingston's house, a fact I suspect Anne is fully aware of and has taken advantage of. They fucked her every way but sideways and then Chris and the second wives returned and saw them. You were there, of course. I'm not telling you anything. Then they came back and it was all for one and one for all. I'm telling you, I was shocked but by then, I realized my grasp of my home here was utterly inaccurate so I was prepared to add kinks I thought previously utterly impossible." He shook his head really hard then.

"For a man in my business, you'd think I'd be better at this."

"Why don't you just tell me. I know I have had sex with your wife..."

"And she has a collar with 'owned by Sonny' engraved on the inside." He smiled at the expression on my face. "Locks only keep honest people from snooping. Okay, here is what I want to tell you..." He stopped. He shook his head. "I can't." He bowed over his clasped hands and elbows on the table. "I know this seems strange, but Sonny, I want you to meet Tia Maria. Will you do that for me?" He stopped speaking and then slowly looked up at me.

"I'll explain her to you but for now, I just want you to have sex with her."

I felt like the feather the giant inhales just before he sneezes and causes a tsunami, out of place and in significant danger.

"Excuse me?" Yes, my cock perked up.

"I don't mean you have to but, if you do, then you do. I won't stop you. If I am not seeking retribution for what you've done to, or should I say with Laura, I am certainly not going to get bent out of shape if you bounce my mistress around. It might prove a bit of a favor actually."

I took a bite of the pie. Goddamn if it wasn't pretty stupendous. I took another bite. I think the sour and the sweet balanced me out a little. I looked at the man. "Jeb, can I call you Jeb?"

"My name is Jacob Ezra William but everyone called me Bill and that became Jeb later in life. Call me Jacob if you want."

That ruined my composure. "Mr. Wills, why would you want me to have sex with your mistress."

He studied me. "Well, that's complicated."

"Complicated? You have no idea how complicated my life has become."

He grinned. "Oh, I have some idea. No, I know about everything there is to know. I know you boned Suzanne Borland before the end of the year, no it was New Years. You had sex with a couple women down at the dealership where you picked up your new car compliments of Peppers, Bickerstaff and Kline. I know you had sex with all their wives..."

I shook my head. "I'm still missing one, the Mrs. Bickerstaff number one."

"Ah, yes, of course. Caroline Bickerstaff. You'll enjoy her. I know that you have had numerous occasions to have sex with Mrs. Sidron Kingston," he grinned. "He tells everyone his name is Sydney but it was Sidron. I also know that your mother is presently riding his legendary cock somewhere in Asia."

I had that awful thought that I had been so busy fucking around, I amended that to fucking my sisters that I hadn't talked to dear Mother in some time. I had the horrible thought that Mr. Wills was about to list a litany of the women I'd had sex with since he discovered Laura on the rail and I held up my hand to stop him. No sense in tempting him to try and confirm what he might not actually know.

"Can we just leave that alone? At least for the moment? Can you tell me why I would ever have sex with your mistress and why you would even ask that of me, particularly since you apparently have spent a lot of effort to track my activities over the last few months?"

"I haven't take a family vacation for years and I thought I'd use it to come back, divorce Laura, see if I could keep my relationship with Chris and then go back to work. I'd figured two three weeks. I've been here nearly three months. Discovering Laura tied down and being fucked by Chris and the rest of you and the apparent trade you worked with that tall kid, what's his name. Sean Favors? And then how you seduced and collected his mother and sister, sorry, I am getting off track. I do admire you, Sonny. It really is impressive the amount of pussy you have managed to fuck and no one has thrashed you for it. I think it must be because you share. You aren't greedy and most surprising and honestly, irritating, they seem to enjoy having you between their knees or whatever position you put them in." He chuckled a little.

"You asked me why? Tia Maria wants to be double-teamed. You've already had my wife, so I am pretty sure you'd remain circumspect when it comes to having sex with my mistress. The woman I thought I was going to marry when I decided to divorce Laura. Now I am far from certain. Tia Maria is frightened, frightened that she has committed to me and now I am having second thoughts. I want to put her mind at ease, that she is not being replaced by my wife."

Mr. Wills bowed his head. He chuckled a little louder. "It is so odd. I haven't explained to her what I was doing here. She is convinced I was doing Laura the whole time and you can vouch for me, that it wasn't me fucking Laura Wills, right?"

"It wasn't me either, I mean not all the time." I had a difficult time seeing how that comment improved my situation any.

"She, she just arrived from Manila last night and she, well, she is sincerely insecure. I told her I was going to come back here and get a divorce and I'd return to her in Manila and here it has been nearly three months. Longer. She does love me, I think but she hopes to gain things from being with me. So, when she arrived, we discussed what I had been doing and she doesn't believe me. I can't just take her over and show her Chris' contraption and ask Laura to give us a demonstration."

The man stopped and squinted at me.

"Say, is that your sister Chris has been fucking? The one that has been spending all that time over at the house?"

I nodded, wary.

"I thought so but that is one of the dangers of intelligence gathering it is often impossible to determine when you have all the relevant information related to the issue at hand and when something is certainly missing. It just struck me as odd that Chris was doing your sister and not his mother, when clearly she was willing and eager for him to use her. No matter, Tia Maria and I fought about whether this was true, that my surveillance of you and Chris and your other buddies was all a lie to reassure Tia Maria that I hadn't had a change in heart. I have had a change in heart but not the black and white sort of change that a woman in Tia Maria's position would understand."