Extending the MILF List Ch. 18

"Landon? You in class?"

"Uh, nope. At home. What's up, Sonny?"

"Listen, you know about Sammy's affair, right?" I forgot if he knew or not.

"Why don't you clue me in, as if I don't know, so you and I both understand each other."

"He's nearly shacked up with an associate attorney at his Mom's firm. She's crazy as a wet cat but feisty. Sammy loves it and she gets a charge out of boinking her bosses' son. But she has other boinking charges I like to cater to."

"Oh? Do tell."

I paused, sorting through what fit best to tell next. I decided for a robust explanation.

"I have a mother and daughter who are a bit twisted and twisty. That is to say I am not sure what is going on but I have one in a collar and the other thinking about it."

"Jesus, Sonny, what are you doing, anyway?"

"That's a longer story. The mother has the idea that she'd like to get a cock from both sides."

"Double teamed?"

"Right."

"Which is why you're calling me."

"Right again."

"You know my mother and Darlene had a little work assignment Monday, right?"

I think Landon was testing me, and in doing so was testing Darlene. I chuckled.

"I set them up, yes. They were helping me out as a mother-daughter team. I am leery about handing off the actual mother-daughter pairs I have...what would I call it? Obtained?"

"Collared?" Landon offered dryly.

"Close. Working on that. Anyway, rather than just drop this new MILF into the deep water, and her daughter with her, I offered Ms. Collier the opportunity to be our demonstration toy." I stopped, waiting to see what Landon's response would be. He didn't jump in but after a few moments he hissed into the phone.

"You want me to help you fuck this Ellen Collier?" He grunted. "How do I...I know, I know. I don't need to explain it to Darlene, she fucked some stranger the other night as a favor to you. I can fuck this stranger as a favor to you and it all evens out, right?"

Landon knew angles. That was certainly mine.

"Right. Exactly. What do you say?"

"Where and when?" Here he chuckled a little wryly. "I have the feeling that I've been missing the boat. The other guys are all getting a lot more variety than I have been."

"Dude, you're in love. It makes you blind."

"Yeah, with a woman who thinks hooking is a cool pasttime and is trying to hook my mother into sharing her hobby with her, so to speak." He snorted. "That just sounds weird to say out loud. God, Sonny, when did you become the fuck god?"

I shrugged, suddenly feeling that distant past when me and my friends were just guys talking about basketball and chasing the fluttering skirts that fluttered by. Then we chased with our eyes, now I chased with my cock. Different. Really different. Well, catching is different now, different than just chasing. I like chasing though. Chasing is fun; catching is phenomenal.

"Suddenly its raining pussy and, well, I have a thing about rejecting a willing woman..."

Landon clicked his tongue.

"Dangerous to reject a woman. Word gets around."

"Precisely my fear. So?"

"I said where and when."

"Say five tonight at The China Sparrow?" I gave him directions and told him to meet us in the bar. I wondered if I'd told Ellen to meet us in the bar or not? I was about to call her back when my phone rang in my hand. The universe was not done with me yet. It was still trying to drown me. The fuck faeries were still buzzing around the room backwards.

"Hello?" I answered my phone. I didn't recognize the number nor did I recognize the voice exactly.

"Is this Sonny Duncan?" The woman on the other end of the line asked. Not a line anymore but what do you call it when you use a cell phone? I like the line and the connection it implied, like it was real and physical.

"It is."

"This is Carol."

Wow. That was fast. I felt a surge of pride at being such good bait.

"Hi. What can I do for you, Carol?" I like that phrase and fall back on it when I am easing into something, or someone.

"You can have sex with me."

I waited. The tone of her voice sounded like she had more to add but then didn't. Plus her voice didn't exactly match the blonde I'd met earlier. But then, she'd only spoken like two words and this call, the "please fuck me" call could tinker with the vocal chords. I ignored the discrepancy. Oh hell, I didn't even notice. She had me at "you can have sex with me". The subtleties flew right past me.

"I, well, okay." I said, realizing for the first time that I simply hadn't thought through to this moment and how to get through it to the end result. Turned out I didn't need much participation, depending on how you squinted at it.

"Where are you?"

"Still at the Sparrow's Feast."

"The Sparrow's Feast?"

"Oh, that's not right, is it? I mean The Sparrow Garden. Sorry. I haven't been here till now."

"Is that in the hotel?"

I thought that was a little odd but ignored it.

"Yes, in The China Sparrow."

"Okay. I know where it is. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Why don't you get us a room?"

I almost made some smart assed comment about doing it in public since it takes a village but didn't. How well did I know this woman? If you are going to be silly, best to know your audience or let them pick you at least.

"Text me the room number." She spoke into the pause my mental futzing created.

"I will."

I had a small twinge, suddenly disappointed that I couldn't get to the movies. I hit myself on the cheek bone with my fork and got egg on my nose. What idiot thinks that movies are better than sex with a stranger? If that's a real question, the answer is not me. Definitely not me. I looked at my unfinished breakfast and groaned. I quit eating immediately. I'd been stoking for an evening tryst with The Travers women and a little demonstration with Ellen but now I needed to quit stuffing my cheeks.

I got up and sauntered out to the elevators and took it up to my room. A Suite! I figured I had income and I could spend it. I wondered if I could deduct the cost of the room from my taxes? Only if I fucked Mrs. Travers on my bed once each night I paid for. Then I could call it a business expense, right?

I had a whole dialog with an IRS auditor in my head, trying to explain why a hotel room in my own city constituted a justifiable expense in my business, oh, and just what was my business anyway? Private dick? More like public dick. I was chuckling to myself all the way up to the room. I opened the door and found a spacious, bright room, dim with the cloudy day but bright with the radiated light that made it through the dull slate clouds. I went into the right bedroom. There were two beds. I lay down on one and went right to sleep.

I jerked awake to find a message dinging on my phone. I realized the moment I woke up that I had not texted the room number to Carol. Her message was slightly off-color but not amusing, something about where did I want to poke her. The comment just didn't go with the blonde woman I'd met just that morning. I sent a reply, something to the effect of "Pussy, mouth and ass. Oh, and the room number is 1801"

I got nothing back.

I lay back again and relaxed and danged if I didn't go right back to sleep.

Banging on the door woke me. I struggled off the bed and walked to the door. I automatically peeked though the spy hold. My eyes shocked me.

I did not see the blonde woman from earlier. I saw a voluptuous black woman.

Uh oh. I thought. Something isn't right. I am quick like cement.

The explanation was exactly easy to intuit. I was shocked to find a new and different Carol on the other side of the door. Surely this woman was Caroline Bickerstaff, not Carol Lynn Northcutt. My brain had made a local association of voice with name, not the remote one that was actually true. For a moment, I stared through the peep hole and my head seized and creaked and turned into a block of wood.

She banged heavily on the door again.

I opened it.

For a long moment, we stared at each other.

"Are you Sonny Duncan?" She asked finally.

I nodded.

"You are Caroline Bickerstaff?" I asked, hiding the confusion crawling around on my skin making me want to giggle and run.

She nodded. An odd look passed over her face. The expression was a sidelong look as though she felt someone watching her. I poked my head out beyond the door frame and looked to her side, nearly touching her when I did so. She stepped back a step. I swear I heard her swallow.

"My uh, daughter is downstairs. Can we get this over with all at once?"

I gestured her inside.

"Let's not discuss this in the public byways." Who talks like that? Public byways? I was rattled and that shook loose flakes in my vocabulary I almost never use.

I moved deeper into the room and she followed me. I was walking backwards so I wasn't being followed exactly. What do you call that? No idea. The door slammed shut behind her. I cleared my throat.

"Listen, if you don't want to..."

She waved a hand at me. "We don't have a choice, now do we? We must have sex with you, together, or we don't get the settlement. Right? Do I have that about right?" Her voice sneered around the question.

I stared at her.

"Listen, and listen closely. If you don't want to have sex with me, there are plenty of women who do. There is no need for you to..."

"Yes there is. I just told you." She said, her voice rough and tense.

"Yeah, well, that isn't my doing. I am just the accommodating dick in the picture."

"Uh huh, well, we still don't have much of a choice, now do we?"

I felt her anger. I wondered if the applicants for the lay down assistant would be this pissed off. Surely not. They'd have greed gleaming in their eyes and I'd have to suss that out and avoid it. Shit. I needed to find the precisely right woman who'd agree to serve...that thought rattled me a little. I rallied and focused on the woman's lips, thick, red and plush. I wondered what they felt like around my cock...shit, I rallied again and focused else where, which proved to be the crevice of her bust and that inspired me, clearing my head. Go figure.

"I think there's been a misunderstanding. I think you had better go."

"No. You have to fuck me and Sophia. My daughter. It has been perfectly plain to me that you have to fuck me and hard, and Sophia too and we have to be sexual with each other."

"You haven't done that before?"

"Done what? Christ, don't you know if you've fucked us or not?"

"No, I mean...ah...been sexual...together." I stuttered and I'd like to say it was intentional but I was imagining this woman naked with another nebulous black woman that turned out to be Portia Kline and I got really uncomfortable.

The woman shook her head.

"Listen, why don't we go downstairs and talk about this, just to get acquainted at least but also to see if there is a way to solve your problem in a way that doesn't wreck your settlement package."

"My ex-husband insists that you do us both. Just like you did Mrs. Kline and her daughter. He says that if they had to, we have to. It's that simple."

"I don't want..."

Her temper flared.

"I don't give a flying fuck what you want. I have to do this. Sophie has to do this. Now, let's do this and get it over with!"

I retrenched and retreated, or maybe that should be the other way round.

"Is it Sophie or Sophia?" I asked, trying to retool the subject a little, to get it cocked in another direction. I had my fucking hands full of pussy and didn't need any more. No, wait! I didn't mean that. I was just venting! Honest. I didn't mean I didn't need any more pussy. I didn't say I didn't want any more pussy! All the fuck faeries had gone still, wondering if they had heard me right. Don't mind me, I was just blathering!

I think Mrs. Bickerstaff the former saw something on my face.

"If you tell me you don't want a try with this body, I can assure you, my daughter will put the wingwant in your tallywhacker. No way you turn Sophia down!"

She didn't answer my question either.

"Fine, lets..." I hesitated. Talking reasonably and giving her a way out did not seem to be working. I had a fleeting thought that she was in lust with me and refused to let me escape her healthy thighs now that they were targeted on me and my poor little cock. Caroline Bickerstaff was a substantial woman. Okay, maybe that was just me thinking positive. I really hadn't seen much sign of lust in her, not being able to see around the big lump of lust sitting on my face.

"Let's go down and find...Sophia, is it? She's of age, I mean over eighteen, correct?"

"Sophie is twenty-three, last month."

"Wonderful." I muttered. "Shall we?" I was beginning to wonder if the woman even knew her own daughter's name. I tried to smile but my face wouldn't move.

Caroline Bickerstaff stared at me for a while. I felt the polite pause was long past and we were into the impolite delay that indicates indecision. Finally, she smacked her lips and nodded once.

"I told her that, that I'd have sex with you first. If, if it was okay, I'd call her and she'd come on up and you can have her."

"I usually do the daughter's first. I fuck the daughter's first. That way the mother feels like I am not rejecting her for a younger version when I do the daughter." I have no idea why I said that. It was patently bullshit. Not only was I not sure it made good English sense, it did not match my experience. I did mothers first all the time. Hell, the MILF list started with mothers. Beep. Disqualified. They had only sons and I wasn't doing my buddies before I did their mothers. I don't do men. Sorry, not my thing. I was angling for a timeout so I could go back and retool my picture of the blonde woman naked and begging for me to fuck her and replace it with this woman having sex with her daughter. Shit, that may sound like an easy transition but I was struggling with it. I needed a chance to catch my breath and I thought maybe a stroll downstairs would get me time to adjust my expectations.

The woman seemed to be correlating my words with some internal analysis. Finally, she nodded and stepped back, gesturing at the door.

I got up and together we walked out and down to the elevator. I say "together" but that was true only in a manner of speaking. We were not in step. We did not walk side by side, she hung back a ways behind me. We did not speak or look at each other and we both pushed the down button. Me first, then she did, as though I certainly couldn't get that right.

We joined people on the lift and let it lower us down to the lobby. I thought I was home free. We'd sit down to a snack and talk this all through. Maybe, I would get to go to the movies. See? I was oxygen deprived. I hung back to let the rush of people clear the car before stepping out. Mrs. Bickerstaff left me standing and I felt like I was on my own, looking around for her. A voice brought me up short. It was familiar but I couldn't place it exactly.

"Mr. Duncan?"

For a moment, I thought it was one of the Travers women returned from shopping. I looked around. Nope. It was worse than that. Since Caroline had exited in front of me and ignored me, we did not look like we were together. That left this new woman free to speak directly to me. When my eyes found her, all my sphincter's tightened up and I felt my cock shrivel. Then, then, just as rapidly, it reversed and snapped to attention with appalling celerity. My vascular system was getting quite the work out.

"I'm Carol Lynn Northcutt." The voice said. "We met earlier this morning, in the restaurant."

I groaned. I nodded. Here was a colossal coincidence. It had to be.

In front of me, the other Carol turned to look at me, eyes full of questions. They looked at me and I had no answers. I knew what was happening but I was utterly at a loss as to how to manage it, stop it or make it go away. Whatever was happening had me in its jaws and wasn't letting go until the morrow in my bones was shaken and stirred both.

"Hi, Mrs. Northcutt. I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you left." I did, that was true but that was the only truth in my words. I spoke my wish, the wish she wasn't standing there staring at me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with a soft smile that never made it to her hard eyes.

I blinked.

"I was just up in the room." I said. I could see, behind Carol the Northcutt, Carol the Bickerstaff watching me with interest, idling like a big diesel waiting for the signal to roll into motion. She looked curious, fascinated like she was watching a naked juggler.

"Oh? I thought you were Borland's assistant? Why do you have a room here? It seems like it'd be a little beyond your means."

Oh crap. Now I'd stepped in it. My mind whirred and sent words to my mouth. The delivery guy had no idea what they were but out they tumbled as if someone brought a porcupine into an orgy.

"It's hooker Wednesday. I'm really just an intern for Mr. Northcutt who helps him out from time to time. I'm still in college and every Wednesday when we're working he pays for a room and a hooker for me. Keeps me out of trouble, he says."

I think Mrs. Northcutt the former was as surprised by my words as I was.

She blinked the way I'd been blinking moments before, like I'd sprayed on her while I was spluttering. I know I didn't. My mouth was so dry I couldn't whistle.

"Oh well, I see. I was hoping I might ask you for a little time, just for a chat. As the former Mrs. Northcutt, I like to keep up with my ex-husband, you know, out of curiosity. Perhaps you could give me a few minutes so we can chat? Maybe a cocktail in the bar?"

"A cocktail?" I murmured. I was thinking "my cock and your tail, right?" but didn't say that out loud. Like I never lose control of my lips, tongue or brain. When Mrs. Bickerstaff nodded and gestured towards the bar from behind the blonde who'd intercepted her pass, I felt her willingness to work around my newest impediment. I grunted. My luck the Travers women would be in for a bite between turns at the department store and I'd have all five of them lined up ready for a good rogering, even though I couldn't explain the queue to anyone. "How do I get into these situations?" I wondered to myself, vaguely, I'll admit because the queue was damned interesting.

"Fine. I guess I have time." I tried not to focus on the fact that I was underage to be in a bar and focused instead on what Mr. Northcutt had told me about his ex-wife...that she'd bedded his other assistants and she clearly thought I was next up. Fuck me, she was hot. I love ADD, there's always something interesting on the Sonny network! I liked that SEN. Sonny Entertainment Network, the new name for my mind.

Mrs. Northcutt the former nodded with prim satisfaction and turned around and let me follow her trim ass into the bar. She tried to sit in a booth but I steered her to the bar. She seemed unusually reluctant to sit there but I put my hands on her waist and literally steered her and she literally let me. I felt the shock of feeling my hands on her slim body rattle through her. The shoe was on the other foot, at least for the moment and I wasn't going to be changing feet any time soon.

She immediately tried to regain her momentum. She ordered two dirty martinis and then looked me full in the eye and asked, "So, tell me about Hooker Wednesdays?" She smiled happily in anticipation of my pending squirm. Her face fell immediately when I launched into my explanation.

"Mr. Borland started it after Suzanne, er, his current wife, you know her I expect, seduced me. After a couple times catching us, my excuse for failing to get a project done on time, because she was sitting on my face, he decided a hooker or two would keep my hormones at bay and me focused on the job at hand and not on his other blonde wife." I grunted, looking around the room. "Personally, I think he's messing with her because if I am getting bonked by a hooker once a week, it takes the edge off and she has to do more to get my attention. Know what I mean?" I eyed Mrs. Carol Lynn Northcutt. I don't think she heard my whole spiel.