Eye in the Sky

"I remember."

"I told you I didn't know, but that I was going to keep looking. I'm not looking any more, Mike. The answer is yes, I do believe."

"That's good, Sawyer. Everyone should have a rock they can hold on to."

"He's not gone Mike. We talked to him. He's out there waiting for us, and there's something else too. Lawson and I felt it. It's huge and gentle and it took Rawlins."

"I believe you Sawyer. Something like that man was never dies."

She returned to Lawson. "Lawson?" she looked into his eyes. "Lawson, you heard him. You know he's not gone."

Lawson's emotions were overwhelmed. "Yes I did. I know he's not gone, baby. Neither is Mom. They're both waiting for us. It makes me feel a lot better. But what are we going to do now?"

"We've got to get out of here," Mike told them. "This is a big mess and unless we want to answer a lot of awkward questions, we need to take Rawlins and get out of here. There are bodies lying all over the place. Calston shot two of those men and I got three. The police will be here any moment and we don't want to be here. I don't want to know what the inside of a Cuban prison looks like."

They quickly gathered their belongings. They wrapped Rawlins' body in blankets and fled to the airport. The boarded the plane and Mike set a course for Arizona.

Lawson plugged in Rawlins computer and found a file called "to my family."

He opened it and read the letter inside to them.

"To my wonderful and dearly beloved family,

If you are reading this, it means that my worst fears have come to pass and that I have not lived to see my children reach their majority. I leave this message with my so great love:

My children, I will never be able to express the joy that you have brought to my life. Before you came, I imagined that I was content in life. This was a fantasy. As you grew and became what you are, I daily was reminded that you are the greatest gift God ever gave me. I will never be able to tell you how much I love you, and these feeble words cannot reflect it. I have tried daily to express my love for you and my concern for your lives. I have tried to show you the good things in life. In many respects, I have been a miserable failure. I pray that God will grant me the time to rectify that.

I have tried to teach you the path to adulthood in the best ways. You have responded in ways that continually surprise me in your goodness. You are good kids. I can never tell you how proud I am of your character. Please continue in your growth in the way you have begun. Please stay away from the bad things. There are so many bad things out there. Run away from them as you would from a poisonous snake. Don't make the mistakes your father has made. Preserve your innocence at all costs. There is nothing fun about evil. Plan for the future. My greatest failure is that I failed to consider the circumstances that have overtaken me. This laziness has cost me dearly.

Listen to Mike. He loves you and takes care of you like no other. Take care of him. He is your best friend. You will never find another who has your interests at heart as he does. You may not agree with many things he thinks and does, any more than you did with me. Do what he says anyway. He will never harm you in any way, and he will be a blessing to you and you to him.

Sawyer, you are amazing. I am so proud of you. You are everything I ever wanted in a daughter. You are brave and wise and beautiful and funny. Your strength of character is a thing of legend. Your mind is quick and active and deep. Develop that in yourself. Pay more attention to life. It is easy for you to get lost in your own little world because that world is so fascinating. I understand that, but practical things matter. Attend more closely to details. It will fall to you to be the center of this family. Take care of Mike and Lawson. You are the glue that will hold your family together. I know this is a great load for you, but you have broad shoulders. You are fully capable of doing anything you want to do. You have amazing powers. I hope you continue to develop them in ways that will help the people you love. If you work hard, you can accomplish anything. If you don't work hard you may still accomplish a lot, but your potential is unlimited. I pray that you will become all I know you can be. I love you with all my heart and pray that God will be with you, as I cannot.

Lawson, my big man. You have the sweetest nature I have ever encountered. It is impossible to meet you and not love you. If you were not my son, I would wish you were. Your heart is as big as the sky. You have been a joy to me from the day you were born. I have never been disappointed in you. Continue in the path you are on. You do tend to just coast sometimes. You have the ability to be whatever you want to be. Everyone who meets you will want to be your friend. You will always be the center of every crowd. Don't let that lead you into bad company. You can change the course of nearly anything in which you are involved. You can be a tremendous influence for good. Make sure you work hard enough to get where you want to go. May God bless you in everything you want to do. You are the most levelheaded person in our family. Help Mike and Sawyer. They will depend on you for so much, just as we have all always depended on you. I have depended on you and you have never let me down. You seem to know instinctively the right thing to do. Except play tight end, I know you always loved defense. But seriously, I a very proud of the man you are becoming. I love you, my boy, more than words can say.

To Mike, you're the best friend anyone ever had. I started out being your employer, but you quickly became the big brother I never had.

Watch over my kids. Don't argue with them about little things. Allow them the room to do and be the things they love. Remember the things I have tried to live by. Pay attention to the big things and let the little things go. Don't insist on things that don't matter. What matters is that you stay together, lean on each other and trust their hearts. I will not be there physically, but I will be watching over you. If the power of prayer means anything, my prayer ascends up before God for you, Lawson and Sawyer. I shall kneel after writing this and pray to God for the first time in years that He will allow me to live. If that is not to be I will pray that he will draw close to you and keep and protect you from all the bad things that I cannot. I love you, brother, and always will.

Leaving my so great love for you all, I remain, your friend and father, Rawlins."

By the time Lawson finished he was sobbing uncontrollably and so was Sawyer. They clung to one another and wept. No one in the cabin was unmoved and the grown men wept unashamed.

"Well, damn it all to hell anyway," Mike said. "What a guy. We've got a lot to live up to, kids. I swear to you that I'm not going to let him down. From now on, you kids are my life, and I swear I won't let you down either."

They both walked to the cabin and put their arms over his shoulders. "We'll stick together," Lawson told him. "We're going to be fine. I know we all have a hole in our heart, but he wouldn't want us to be eaten up with regret. I don't think he regretted a thing. He seemed happy about his life and he wanted that for us too. We're going to be fine."

"I don't know what the fallout is going to be on all of this," Mike said. "It may still get ugly, but we're going to get through it."

They buried Rawlins at the foot of a pine tree on the hill behind Mikes house. "He used to come up here and read under this tree," Mike said. "I think he'll like it here."

They all moved into Lawson's house and for three weeks they heard nothing. Mike was now acting CEO of RLK and there was not a peep from anything he could find. Sawyer kept a watch around their neighborhood, but there was nothing. Robinson continued to file stories and the full details were now in print. The nation's newspapers had carried the story and there were calls for the President's resignation. He still hadn't appeared in public. He was closeted at Camp David and no press was allowed.

Mike took Sawyer and Lawson to his house on a Monday and they rode their horses into the hills for a picnic. They were lying on blankets in the shade when Sawyer sat up. "There's someone coming," she said.

Lawson and Mike stood up and drew their weapons. They all went armed, and Lawson pulled Sawyer behind a tree.

"Can you tell who it is?" he whispered in her ear.

She concentrated for a moment. "I think it's the President."

"The president of what?" he asked.

"The President, you know, of the United States."

"What, are you sure?"

"Yes, he's walking up the trail."

"What's he doing here? Is he going to have us arrested?"

"I think he's coming to apologize."

They hurried to a vantage point and they could see a solitary figure walking up the hill. There was a helicopter sitting in Mike's driveway and they saw three small figures standing around it.

As the figure approached, they saw that he was wearing jeans, cowboy boots and a hat. It was the President! Lawson recognized him from TV.

They went back to their blankets and sat together as he walked up and stood at the edge of their blanked. He took off his hat and held it in his hand.

"Would you care to join us, Mr. President?" Sawyer asked. "We're drinking beer, would you like one? It's Short's MMMKay."

The President nodded and sat down. She dug one out of the ice and handed it to Lawson. He popped the top and handed it to the President.

He tilted the bottle back and took a drink. "Very good," he said. "Sawyer, I know who you are and what's been done to you. I want you to know that I'm not just the President. I'm a father too. I have two daughters; one is eleven and one, fifteen. I wish you could meet my oldest. I'd like that very much. I think you would like her and I know she would like you.

I'm telling you this so you'll know I'm human. I'm not just some politician. Well, I am, but I'm more than that. I want to be your friend."

"Hell of a way you've been showing that so far," Mike growled.

"I know. I've come here to apologize to you Sawyer, to apologize to all of you. There is no excuse for what's been done to you. I'm not making any. I didn't know about any of this. That's not an excuse, I know. I should have known about it and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

"I'm sorry Sawyer. I failed you. This country failed you. We have no excuse and we can never make it up to you, but I need you to forgive me. I can't live with myself if you don't. This nation is a wreck unless you forgive us. We can't undo what's been done, but I personally pledge to you that if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I'll use every means in my power to make this right and make sure it never happens again. Can you forgive me Sawyer? Can you forgive us?"

Sawyer reached out and tested his honesty. He was telling the truth. She nodded. "I do forgive you sir. I've always forgiven you. I know you mean what you are saying. I read the papers. I know you've disbanded the NSA and arrested all those people and fired everyone who knew anything about me. I know you're sincere and I do forgive you, but I'll always despise you and everything you stand for. I don't give a damn about this country, pardon the cursing."

"I don't understand. You forgive me, but you despise me? Explain it to me."

"Well sir, it's like this. I view you and everyone like you as fundamentally sick. How do you think any of this happened to begin with? Someone like you wanted to find out his enemies secrets. He wanted power over other people and other countries. I don't understand people that want power, sir. I don't understand people that want the power to control other people's lives. Why would they want to do that? It's a sickness of the human soul, sir. Normal people just want to live their lives and be happy. They want that for everyone else too. They don't want to control other people. You do, and you're twisted by that into something that I hate, sir."

"Someone has to run things, Sawyer. How would we function as a country without people like me?"

"You make the mistake of thinking you're important to people like me, sir. You aren't. I told you, I don't give a damn about the country. I care about people. This is my boyfriend, sir. His name is Lawson. I love him more than life. This is my Uncle Mike. I would die for him. But I wouldn't lift a finger for a country. People like you have been making a big deal out of countries since history began. How many people have died for countries? How many sacrifices do you expect us to make for lines drawn on a map? We just want you to let us alone. I went through 15 years of torture and abuse because someone somewhere thought it would be good for the country. I know you're more decent than that. You would never torture a child, but you've sent young men and women off to die in lands that mean nothing to them for their countries. Don't talk to me about countries, sir."

"I understand why you feel that way Sawyer. I would probably feel like that, too, if I were you, but I'm not you. I even agree with most of what you've said."

"Rawlins gave me a book a few months ago, Sir," Sawyer said. I've been reading it. It has a chapter in it that is a conversation between Socrates and Euthyphro. Socrates asks Euthyphro a question, 'Do the gods love an action because it is good, or is the action good because the gods love it?' How would you answer that question, Sir?"

"I don't know what you're getting at, but I would say it's like the question, 'which came first; the chicken or the egg?' I guess I would say an action is good because the gods love it."

"I'll show you what I'm talking about. The problem with people like you is that you view good and evil as derivative. I disagree totally with your conclusion. God loves actions because they are good. He hates other actions because they are evil. If he didn't love good, he wouldn't be God, or at least not a God I would serve. If good and evil are derivative, why did God command us to love him and one another? He could just as easily have commanded us to hate him and one another. That would then be right, by your definition.

Right is something that isn't defined by will, not even God's will. Right is independent of what anyone says it is. The government doesn't have the power to declare that things are right or wrong just because it says they are. That's what every government tries to do. 'This is right because we say it is.' This is the law and we say it is right, but because we are the source of the law, we don't have to live by it. We aren't your servants, sir, but you've made us even less than that. You aren't even our rulers anymore; you're our owners. We're like pigs or cows. There isn't any part of our lives where we can say, 'that's not any of your business.' You pry into everything and our whole lives are your business. We have no rights or liberties left, just the duty to obey you, and you tell us this is right because you say so.

I'm not your slave, sir. I don't need anything from you and I don't ask anything from you. That's why I can say I don't give a damn about you. I'm sorry, Mike. I do need to curse sometimes."

"Well Sawyer, I don't know what to say to that. Let me think about it for about a hundred years and I might understand it. You're smarter than I am, Sawyer. I never dreamed a eighteen-year-old girl would give me a philosophy lesson under a pine tree. I might even agree once I wrap my mind around it. Unfortunately, I don't have the option of damning the country. A lot of bad things are going to happen to people that live here if I don't fix this. I need your help. I need you to stand beside me on a podium and tell the people of the country you forgive them, and you forgive me. I know you don't give a damn about the country, but what about the people? You said you care about people. I'm trying to understand Sawyer. People are going to suffer. We're going to face sanctions from the rest of the world because we abused you. Our ability to trade is going to be harmed and a lot of people are going to suffer, maybe even Lawson and Mike. Certainly, a lot of poor people are going to suffer if prices go up and they lose their jobs. I know you won't help me, but will you help them?"

"Yes, I will. I'll stand on that podium and I'll make that speech. I know the world isn't perfect and I'll do what I can. You can make the arrangements with Mike. Sir, if you wouldn't mind, I'm having a picnic with my boyfriend and my Uncle and I'd like you to leave now. You make me feel sick."

She buried her face in Lawson's chest and wrapped her arms around him.

The President rose and Mike walked him to the edge of the hill. He smiled ruefully. "That's quite a girl you've got there, Uncle Mike. I don't think I've ever been dismissed quite so abruptly or talked to so frankly. I feel a little dirty. She despises me, Mike. I almost despise myself after talking to her."

Mike grinned. "Yeah, she has that effect on people. Don't worry about it. Be nice to her and she'll come around. She can't help loving people."

"She is a remarkable girl. How could a personality like that come out of the horror of that life?"

"I don't have a clue. She ought to be feral and full of rage and hate, but she's not. People surprise me all the time. When do you want to make that speech?"

"In five minutes would be best. Tomorrow would be good and the day after tomorrow is as long as I can wait."

"Where do you want her to be?"

"At the White House. I'm going back there now. Can I send a plane?"

"We've got one. Noon on Wednesday, we'll be there."

The two men shook hands and the president made his way back down the hill. He felt very small and alone.

Chapter 19

Sawyer arrived at the White House at 11AM. She walked in holding Lawson's hand tightly and they were ushered into the Oval Office. The President rose to greet them and seated them in two chairs in front of his desk. He took his seat behind the desk and folded his hands.

"So," he said, "I understand you're running for reelection and you want me to make a campaign appearance?"

They exploded in laughter and a secret service agent stuck his head in. He smiled and shut the door.

"Thank you for coming, Sawyer. Lawson, I want you to stand by us too. You're a big part of this. Sawyer, what do you want to do? I'm in your hands. I have two speeches written. One is my resignation speech. I'll give that speech if that's what you decide. The other is the story of how what happened to you occurred and my apology to the world and to you. I'm going to leave it to you which one I give."

"No you won't," she told him, "I won't do it. You can't put that choice on me. Either one is a bad choice. I want you to resign and I want everyone in this city to resign, too, but I know you're an honorable man. If you resign, some putrid person a thousand times worse than you will step in and start some program like Wormwood all over again. It's all evil and I won't do it. You make that decision and you live with it. I won't do it. Make the choice now and tell me what it is or go out there by yourself."

He was startled by her answer and didn't know what to say for a minute. Finally, he said: "Okay Sawyer, I'm going to stay and fight. I think you're right; the person who succeeds me might be totally corrupt. He probably will be. I'm going to fight to fix this and I'm going to trust your compassion for people to help me do that. You are a very remarkable young lady. Someday I hope you'll let me be your friend. Are you ready?"

She nodded. They walked into the briefing room with her holding tightly to Lawson's hand. The room was filled with reporters and Sawyer noticed Robinson in the front row. He gave her a thumbs-up and she smiled and waved.