All Comments on 'Fatal Misunderstanding'

I stopped reading when you can't even remember you wrote that Cal shot him the first time while he was charging at him, then suddenly the second lot of shots he was still ass raping her! Pretty glaring lack of continuity!

Something as simple as having Tom and Calvin move away would have done it. Leaving Gina with very little and moving away would have been better. But this was like an episode of Dragnet - "Just the facts Ma'am". And it didn't make for a good read.

2 stars

were not the spoiler.

The plot was.

Seriously, the readers' interest in the story just up and evacuates when the ending is telegraphed early, just like your interest did. You stopped working at storytelling when you stopped using dialogue roughly halfway down the first page. If your storytelling consists of explanations of how a situation developed, but it's not possible to use dialogue, that story doesn't need to be told, because it sure won't be interesting.

And if you're preaching some social justice sermon or trying to narrate a cautionary tale, just go away. Yes, it could happen, but it would never be this boring in real life.

Nice shooting to bring down a full grown gorilla with a .22 rifle. A larger round might have passed through and saved a lot of heart break. Pretty bleak story, but at least Gina didn't live happily ever after. So far this is, by miles, the best story tonight.

Even in consensual sex if one partner says no to a particular practice, then that’s it end of request. Lack of consent to a practice means rape if the other persists. A truly loving relationship would probably get over that situation after a lot of argument and soul searching. In this case it was rape, she said no to anal, he persisted, there was no misunderstanding on Calvin’s part and under the law, he saw and heard his mother being anally raped, hence a misleading title.

especially the last 6 words, TK U MLJ LV NV

It was great that Tom refused to take the tubby bitch back again, she had treated him like shit for months while spreading her legs for young cock. The ending was too depressing though.

If you're going to do a BtB story, where the cheating wife ends up bitter and alone, the husband has to move on! You will have already upset the cucks when the husband kicks her to the kerb... if you also turn the husband into a depressed loner, you ruin the ending of the story for BtB fans. You need to pick a target audience and play to the crowd, or the story pleases no one.

As anon said below, it would have made more sense for Tom and Calvin to move away and start a new life where they could escape the gossip. Tom was in shape and only early 40's, so he could have easily replaced the fat slut with a broody thirty-something and started a new family. Tales of marital infidelity are often dark and depressing, so they usually need an uplifting ending to make reading the story feel worthwhile.

As it turns out . 2 lives are ruined one lowlife is dead and one son is damaged. A sad story.for those still alive life goes on but it will never be the same! Sad story.but this does happen. Everyone suffers.

This read a bit like a news paper article. Just a rather dull recitation. 3*

The ending was far more realistic that the husband had no better life than his wife after the divorce, that he didn’t bag a younger, hotter, better in bed new girlfriend.

The author wrote that Tom knew everything, eventually. That means he also knew that his wife cheated because he wasn’t very good in bed. And that means his confidence was shot, meaning he’d lack the ability to do it for any new woman, whether younger or not. He’ll wind up just as alone as his ex, his sex life reduced to his hand and the occasional hooker.

Of course, he’d have the same problem if he’d stayed with his wife, knowing that when ever he fucked her, she was just giving him pity pussy, and wasn’t getting anything out of it herself.

As for the writing style, it isn’t up to your usual. Yeah, I finished it, but there was little real emotion in it. It might have been tough, but if you had written this in first person, from Calvin’s or Tom’s perspective, it would have been better.

Oh, one slight nitpick: any kid who got sick in school would have had his parents called to come and pick him up; the school would never have allowed him to just leave and walk home.

Please!....There is nothing great or fantastic about a Teenager having to shoot the bastard He thought was raping his Mom!.....Sure I know it's fiction!......But with the Population of the World chances are that it very likely happened 5 STARS ★★★★★ WOOF !

For me there was too much story about the wife and her seduction and the wonderful sex.

For me, cutting all that out you would have had one page with the same plot and outcome.

If you expanded the line about the bad DA, it would have inflicted more guilt on the cheating wife and created more drama in the story instead of things being so Clinical.

Stupid garbage that reads like a reference book. Also, the whole "DA trying to prosecute him for murder" storyline was so utterly ridiculous and contrived it sounds more like conservative persecution complex fanfiction found on a BrietBart forum. The entire second page pretty much didn't need to exist either, it had very little to do with the main character and instead delved into his parents' problems and his whore mother's justifications. Who gives a fuck? Tell the story of the goddamn kid and what he's dealing with after those events, any mention of the parents and their issues should be through the son's observations.

It started well, but once the dialogue between the participants died, and the droning passionless narrative dominated like a summary report of events, and the story really died with it. Try and rewrite it, using dialogue between father/son, man/wife, police/son/mother/father, DA/police, perhaps Gina's confrontations with her parents, co-workers, friends, friends of the popular Luke, etc to register the emotions involved in such a tragedy. This may breathe some passion into the story so we can feel something for all the characters who have had their lives completely overturned by her affair and the "misunderstanding".

The motherfucker should have been shot for listening to rap.

So because she felt unwanted, neglected , she went looking for "romance" outside of her marriage. Doesn't ring true. Any sixteen year old in the house needs a lot of attention, lol. The husband was working many hours everyday. Maybe he failed to show his appreciation for her time and effort. Travel wasn't what she wanted.

Well, I suppose the poor character development makes the reader believe Gina was just an evil person all along.

Thank you for the work you did but the story could have used more ....hmm🤔 ....something.

AMerryman

The telling of the tale was awkward. Once the kid shoots the guy and finally gets released from jail, we get some very humdrum back story. The husband is still angry and the kid is disillusioned, yada yada. Nothing happens. The story was the kid shooting the guy and the rest of the yarn was less than spellbinding. Good concept and the potential for drama was high, but it never came to pass. The point made about how he charged the kid, was shot in the nipple, went back to ass fucking the mom, and then charged again and was shot again was a good one. It made no sense.

Not bad at all!

" his marriage ended in a fatal misunderstanding"

No it didn't... Idiotic moron who ignored rifle pointed at him did.

PS: For the dumb fuck who couldn't grasp that .22 bullet could kill:

Your stupidity is just too much...

He is talking about .22 rifle bullet, not pistol bullet.

If you don't know the difference, don't open your dumb mouth.

Thank you for showing what a kid can go through with something like this.

I grew up rough, with a single mom who kept bringing guys home. One was a dealer and he started hurting her. I was 15 and chased him off with a metal pipe but I was shaking with uncertainty, fear and anger the whole time.

Kids are often used as props in these stories. I appreciate that you gave some depth to Calvin. The douche deserved to be shot BTW.

You don't fuck around when a gun is on you especially when your dick is in the wrong woman.

I thought the premise here was good, but a lot of the meat of this story was delivered very plainly. The very small amount of dialog didn't give the characters any sort of personality, in fact the whole story felt sanitized. With more detail and some actual dialog, this could have been a lot better. Thanks for sharing.

This very difficult situation for son, father, and ,yes, even the mother produced the inevitable outcome. Given that this is pure fantasy but does happen in real life I chose to look at it as objectively as possible. The story evolved at a good pace that allowed my emotions to build gradually. And though I presumed the outcome I looked forward to reading it.

So, thanks for the enjoyable entertainment and I look forward to more of your stories.

Minor point - He "never" visited her in the hospital? She was only in for one day!

"She wasn't needed as much at home?" - Isn't that why she got the job?

If she was so miserable in the marriage, why is she trying to get it back?

"so unlike her boring husband" - Like SHE'S so exciting?

"lover of a murdered college student" - Nit pick, not "murdered," killed.

Too much narration.

If you are 18, you don't need your parents permission. They only call your parents and ask for permission if you're not 18. Also his wife left him because she didn't like their boring lifestyle, not necessarily because her husband was bad in bed. Also the fact that she's a bit of a whore.

I don't think it say he was still ass-raping her. Calvin DOES say, "Get off her you fucking animal!" which I guess presumes that, but it could be Calvin misspeaking in the heat of passion.

Maybe one of the bullets should gone through him into her cheating ass. Not likely with a .22 though. Tom deserves to meet a nice lady who shops at his store and put Gina well behind him. She was disgusting.

The basic idea had potential, but, apart from the technical writing difficulties already mentioned: 1. No DA, even a brain-dead, gun-hating, minority-worshipping DA in SF or Austin, would try to prosecute a 16 year-old under these circumstances. That part of the story was so far outside any likely prosecutorial behavior that the story started to die there. 2. Why do so many authors here feel the need to portray black men as incredibly fit, hyper-masculine, big-dicked, irresponsible sexual animals? The idea that black men are better endowed and more sexually capable is a racist myth. There's no statistical difference in dick size, and, instead of being typically hyper-masculine and amazing physical specimens, black men have a far higher incidence of obesity and the attendant problems of heart disease and diabetes, which means on average their "equipment" tends to work less well than that of males of other groups. As for being incredibly skilled lovers, has anyone here ever talked to a significant number of black women about sex? Ever fucked a few? Black women don't recognize the fantasy black men that show up in these stories. Moreover, the very frequent animalistic portrayal of black men in these stories is simply unfair to the vast majority of black men who would never behave as black men are depicted in these stories.

First off, the plot was a good one. I loved that you didn’t realize it was the son and not the husband until he told him to get off of his mom. Very good. Unfortunately from there it’s goes downhill. The rest of the story reads almost like a documentary. In this situation we should have been wrapped up in the pain and anguish that the characters felt. It all seemed too, well, clinical. I would have much preferred to know what the boy was going through than about her lame “seduction.” And forgive me, but isn’t this supposed to be an erotic story site? I know that we were warned prior to reading it, but it begs me to ask why post it here in the first place if it’s not the least bit erotic? I suppose there will be some off kilter individuals who will get off on this and claim it to be the best story they have read tonite , but clearly for most rational people it comes nowhere close.

But the problem of information coming out in a disorded manner was quite distracting.

Hiding the facts for so long in this case made go back and check that I failed to read some of it.Dealing with woman's lover is not really a child's job. The lover should have fled.....

This story could have told with much more dialog between the characters instead of having some narrator just reciting the tale. That would certainly have given it a more 'realistic' feel and enhanced the story.

"And that means his confidence was shot"

In the immediate aftermath of the divorce, I agree, absolutely! Tom finding out that his wife was a slut and had been fucking another guy for months would be a huge blow to his ego.

But that wouldn't last forever...

The way the story is written, Tom spent the next 30-40 years alone and unhappy, which is just not realistic unless the guy was a real loser. I know several men who got divorced after infidelity on the wife's behalf and they ALL ended up with younger, attractive women. Three of them started a new family with their second wives and all went on to lead happy, successful lives (and are still married to wife #2).

The MGTOW guys talk about "the wall", where a single woman hits 30 and can no longer compete with nubile girls in their early 20's. These women know they haven't got long to settle down with someone and have a family before it's too late... and they start getting desperate as they look for a husband. That might sound sexist, but in my experience, it's simply the cold hard reality of female biology kicking in.

My wife has at least a dozen friends who were very depressed at still being single in their early-mid thirties (for various reasons), all desperate to find a guy as their biological clocks were ticking. These were attractive, professional, well-educated women, who had spent their 20's dedicated to higher education or careers, and put off marriage until later. Most of them eventually settled down, all with older men, and had a baby within a year or two of getting married.

As long as you weren't beaten with the ugly stick, are in reasonable shape, and have a decent job, there's no excuse for staying single... unless you want to. I just don't buy this line about a divorced husband having to be depressed and alone for the rest of his life. It's patently not true!

Despite consensual vaginal sex, it was RAPE when the lover forced her to have anal sex despite her (repeated) NOs. It was definitely rape and if you don't understand it, you need help!! Just because one thing is allowed, it doesn't mean everything is allowed! The boy had absolute right to show his gun and to shoot when the imposing hulk moved towards him menacingly! And Tom was right to seek a divorce.

The idea that because she had consented to vaginal sex means this wasn’t rape when she was telling him to stop is seriously fucked up. That’s also another reason the DA decision to prosecute is not glievable.

"SPOILER ALERT" I refer to a key part of the story in my comments.

It appears you had an idea of a son catching mom and misunderstanding the situation and tried to make it into a story about the marriage. It didn't work.There was not much story after that original idea played out. Just a recitation of facts, nothing more. I'll pile on about dialogue. It's sorely missed over most of the tale. Not up to your usual standards.

Where does it say Luke is black? I must have missed that. I thought he was white until your comment. Maybe you just assumed all Alpha males are black, which is a ridiculous assumption.

which he tried to conceal by pretending to actually hate racists rants, this story had no mention of black men, or white men. It was about a kid, his father, and the mother's young lover. The young lover, Luke Marino, was never identified as a black man. It wasn't even hinted. It makes that racist rant look ridiculous as hell. You describe all the reasons why black men are not really the amazing sex machines depicted in Lit. You tell us that their inherent health issues are proof they are not as good at sex as white men. You tell us to ask black women and they will support the thesis you postulate. Dude, you are tilting with windmills that did not even exist in the story. Please, never try to explain why a story containing black lovers is racist again. We readers can determine that issue on our own. Your explanation is more racist and offensive than most stories.

there is some imagination here but you need to learn to write a story. this is at a level of a B- high school junior in a lower level school. take a creative writing course if you want to do better.

T.T.

Overall, I liked the premise. But -- and maybe it's just me -- the story flowed a bit choppy and in the style of a documentary. Hard to describe, but although the facts and even the emotions were listed, I didn't feel them. Now I'm not a writer, so I can't even begin to tell you how to do it any differently. Just my $0.02.

Apparently, some people think that "rap music" = "black music." I don't recall the rapist listed as a black guy at all, so if that's where it came from it's just wrong. As much as I hate most rap, plenty of people who are not black listen to that crap.

Also, the school letting a teen leave without a parent is not that unheard of rural America. It's certainly unthinkable in a lot of sub/urban areas, but I didn't see the locale identified as such.

A .22 rimfire can certainly kill. It's not a good defensive round because it doesn't stop assailants quickly, especially if it doesn't hit a bone. But it can kill in the end.

Lastly, the DA trying to prosecute a teen under these circumstances was out of place. Either this was an urban area, where DA's can be total assholes, but the school would not have let the teen leave by himself, or it was more rural, in which case the DA would be tarred and feathered for it. Or maybe split the difference: The DA came from a big city into a rural area, and brought his douchebaggery with him.

In any event, thanks for the work.

I have this posted on my profile page to remind me how to give useful criticism or just expressing my thoughts about any story.

How To Give Useful Critique.

Specifically for fiction oriented feedback, but with concepts worthwhile for all areas of critiquing.

Originally requested by @ephirae.

The Devil is in the Details.

If you signed up to give feedback on a manuscript, be prepared to do two things:

1. For every opinion you give, explain why.

What lead you to the conclusion you reached? If you don’t know this, you may need to reread a few times until you figure it out.

2. For every specific situation, concept, or relationship the writer asks about, describe your interpretation back to them.

Give a short summary, whether its of what you believe happened, or how you think that piece of world building works, or why you believe those characters came to that conclusion, or why the PoV character is feeling these emotions.

Often problems appearing toward the end of a manuscript are caused by misunderstandings in earlier segments. If you tell the writer your interpretation of the key events as you go, they can identity the root of those problems much easier.

Negative Critique: Courtesy Is Key.

Unless you are either (a) a professional editor who’s being paid to whip the manuscript into shape or (b) a long time critique partner with a strong relationship with the author, always be as kind and gentle with negative critique as you can. If a writer trusts you enough to let you look at something they poured their soul into, it’s your responsibility to be honest but also courteous.

Try to avoid:

Sarcasm; “Like that would ever happen.”

Absolutes; “This would NEVER happen.”

Abruptness; “Bad. Change.”

Arrogance; “This wouldn’t happen. [My way] would. Do it instead.”

Better ways to approach negative critique:

Make it clear that you understand the problem might not be in the writer’s ideas, but your interpretation of them. Don’t harp on a writer’s creativity– guide them towards explaining their awesome concepts better!

Respect the time and effort that’s already gone into the writing by demonstrating that this work as valuable, even if major changes are still needed. Example: ”You have a lot of great concepts here, like [this and this], but I think they would hit home a lot harder if you rewrote the chapter [like this], while still including [the good aspects of the current chapter].”

Your personal writing style is unique to you. Pick out incidences of passive voice, filter words, and bulky or awkward sentences, but don’t try to rewrite sentences to fit your personal preferences unless you’ve already talked it over with the writer in length.

All your critiques are only your opinion, and they aren’t necessarily the same opinions of this writer’s future publisher. Mention when a writer’s use or breakage of a “writing rule” throws you off, but don’t claim your preferred way is the correct way.

I hope that this will help some commentators out there to express their opinions in a better way.

@Anonymous Re: "Problems" - Um, where is the lover described as black? As the other Anon and Harddaysknight say, you're only showing you own racism.

@bruce22 Re: "Nicely constructed" - I don't think the fact that he was the son was hidden "too" long, it was revealed right where it naturally flowed.

Marriage is what you make of it. If you've made it boring, make it better. If you are so shallow that you turn to outside excitement, then you get what you deserve. As for the lover, I'd be happy if he suffered longer.

Good start but progressively lost momentum as it got farther along. By the end I could skim just by reading the first sentence of each paragraph.

Remarkably impersonal. Almost totally narrated except for the sex-scene interchanges.

There is no extenuating circumstances that makes going forward when she said no that makes it ok. Any man that thinks this in real life is an animal, not a man. Her being a cheating slut doesn't change that.

@Problems by Annonymous....Wow I don't remember reading that he was a Colored Person!?....But Hey!....It's your take on the story!....I just want everyone to know that I have Many Friends that are colored ! Shoot My Wife has a Bull!...Also I Support and have close friendships with people who are LGBT..And Intersexed people..... So cut the racist Slur....WOOF!

also to the sad pathetic flame war in the comments about 'racist this' or 'racist that' grow...the...fuck...up

this isn't twitter. your fake outrage is a fucking joke. this is the wild wild internet west.

anonymity reigns supreme. make a case or stfu. don't cry your sad lil' tears of 'b-but...it's wrong...disgusting....mean and bad opinions r bad mmmkay' no one gives a fuck. you dont even really give a fuck. look deep within your shallow self.

there's so much beauty in that. no authoritarian thought policing. if you really need to attention whore your opinion...you can. and if you can make it without crying crocodile tears for the cameras...all the better. maybe ya'll got trolled. i didn't scroll down enough. but it's funny if you did. it teaches normies to either fuck off, or to learn the culture. you either dont belong on the internet, you need to put actual work into figuring out who is and is not a troll, or you grow a thick skin for your fee-fees.

whatever the case......you better pick one or all of em'. cuz this cry-baby b.s is annoying. like...go cry into your crusty body pillow (insert your fav. cartoon character here)

No dialogue in a story makes it boring. Imagine your son shooting someone like that. Imagine the trauma a 16 yr. old boy would go through knowing he's killed someone. The fact that he thought the guy was raping his mother would only slightly help. Cops regret shooting a person sometimes even when they are shooting at them. Now imagine it's YOUR son. I can't even contemplate how insanely angry I would be. Now my son has to live the rest of his life knowing he's killed a man by mistake! The author never got into the emotions of the kid or the husband...or the mother. Imagine how she would feel knowing she was the cause of her own son having to live the rest of his life with that hanging over his head. This could have bee a fantastic story. As it is, it's barely a 3.

Re: Anon - problems.

First I agree that it isn't good to go on a raciest rant, either way.

The reasons one would assume (bad word) he was black

He heard rap music playing in the living room

All you married sluts love my big dick. Take it bitch and love it. You know you do! Overly used statements in stories where perp is black

The guy had his cap on backwards like he was a bad ass Yes white guys do the same but again overly used.

The guy was staring down at her pink ass, holding the plump cheeks apart with his thumbs

As the guy rushed forward his face went white with shock If the guy was white you wouldn't notice the change.

I'm not saying that these examples are that good but with the crap that writers are putting out now where the perp is black this then becomes one more example. Only Cinical knows the truth and as for me I hope he never tells.

She could have easily spun this as a social affair that became physical against her will and turned into rape, which her son saved her from. She could even testify that the huge man was threatening to kill her and her son, and that her son shot only in self defense.

So in the end, we have a woman unqualified to be a wife and mother not because she is immoral, unethical, and a cruel soulless bitch. No, she's just too stupid to be anyone's wife or mother. The adultery is just a symptom of her ignorance.

What would be interesting is how the husband ever found anything about this stupid ugly bitch worth marrying. And why the husband let the marriage get so cold and distant and impersonal without forcing a confrontation as to the cause.

Not a bad story, just not a very good one. But it could have been with more thought and imagination. Thanks for the effort. I hope you keep trying.

Had a promising start, but you should have indicated that the boy was young. Confused me until you finally explained he was the son.

It fizzled a bit after the shooting.

Timeline also jumped making it look like the letters to court were arriving the next morning after the shooting.

I can only guess that the anonymouse was assuming that people who listen to rap are black... kinda like Taylor Swift.

The story? Kinda emotionally disjointed to me. As long as it was reporting the kids emotions, it had some energy. Once it went to description, it was tedious.

Green-something

Without much dialogue or flavor beyond a description of facts.

... but 20 or so years ago, when I was in high school and college, a good 30%-40% of the white kids listened to some rap (or at least hip-hop). A good 1/3 of them just about exclusively.

And, hell, way better than half, in fact I’d venture 75%-80% of the guys wore their baseball caps backwards, including plenty of the ag-boys (I went to an ag school).

Maybe its different now? Its been a while since I’ve been on a college campus. But thinking the lover was black was certainly not my first thought. It made me think of “young”, that is 25 or younger.

A decent statement to the police or ADA about what transpired - the crying in pain, the initial physical advance of the lover towards the boy, of the second advance towards her son after the first shot - would have left him off the hook. Hell, a loving mother would have lied, if she needed to, to get her son out of jail and off the hook. Or did I miss something?

According to the story she never said squat to save the boy.

Now, add a paragraph or three of her doing that, and still an asshole DA determined to make a name for himself? That I could accept. Else she should have been kicked to the curb sooner, and fuck the counseling.

This one may be as low as 2-stars.

"As the guy rushed forward his face went white with shock If the guy was white you wouldn't notice the change." - Um, yes you would! When some people get shocked, their faces go pale, not white, and unless the person was very light-skinned I don't think it would be noticed on a black person.

Sad tale, just in time for the holidays. But it sure hits home...

It’s 'weilded', not welded...

It's 'wielded' not 'weilded'. If you are going to correct someone, make sure you remember 3rd grade - "i before e except after c"

... of reality. Nowadays the kid would get branded on social meadia as a Nazi or some other foolishness all in the term of PC (political corruption - I mean "correctness").

Smokepole

The authors name is Cinical... i.e. cynical...

If I am to guess.

Green-something

(I gotta get off this kick I'm on... I mean, if people want to waste their time because they misread the story, who am I to get in the way of their fun? I will admit I saw "Clinical" the first time too, but I know that sometimes I make mistakes...)

...the sniveling, whiney headline grabbing DA, obviously a liberal. Similar to the black stripper/ prostitute who accused the lacross team of raping her at a party, who it turned out was lying all along, and the democrat DA was still going to go after the team even with zero evidence. 5 star

needed more dialogue, was a bit like reading a newspaper.

cinical has apparently been criticised because his stories are too long, personally i believe the best betrayal- cheating stories require lots of dialogue and character development or they just read like a summary of events.

First page did he shoot him 3 times? Was confused if there was 2 lovers there? I think you accidentally wrote it twice.

Turns out the kid was 16, not 18. So maybe he got his fathers permission to leave school or he just left himself.

Those two parts kind of took me away from the story a bit, but not a big deal in the end.

He shot him twice. He shot at him once, hitting him, then shot AT him two more times, hitting him one more time, the fatal shot.

It was not with out flaw but still a good fun read with a nice twist. There are few premises for a LW story. This one was new...to me at least. Thanks! 5 *

That's one way to end an extramarital affair.

...D. BAD!!!

Thank you. Makes sense now, I recently learned that when you shoot someone, you shoot to neutralize them. You don't just shoot once and hope. That's why I was confused at first, I didn't know why he had to shoot him 3 times. Thought it might have been an error after seeing anon comment on it.

And caught his wife in bed with her lover. He promptly pulled out his gun and shot and killed her. He then shot her lovers' penis and nuts right off. When asked, by the judge, why he killed his wife and allowed the lover to live. The man answered. Well that man will have to sit down to take a leak for the rest of his life. But, with her, I closed the store permanently so there will be no more customers.

Locally, a husband found out , by her own admission, that his wife was cheating on him. He pushed her down on the bed and forced her to have sex with him. His wife filed charges against her own husband for aggravated forcible rape. In court she swore she told her husband, "No", but he continued. The husband was found guilty of Felony Rape. He served 8 years of a 10-year sentence and will be on the National Sex Offender Registry for life. And he was her cuckolded husband. So, yes, no argument about it. Luke was guilty of rape. And Calvin was totally within legal rights to kill his mother's rapist.

I personally think any woman who cheats on her husband is also cheating on her family...her children, her parents, her siblings, and the rest of her family. And she deserves whatever consequences that come her way. But not supporting your son for thinking his mother is being raped and attempting to save her at risk of his own life is unforgivable.

I was discussing the possibility of choosing to shoot a home invader to a local law enforcement officer. He told me if the invader got outside before I shot him, I should call the police officer before I called the police. He would help drag him back inside. Then I would call the police. When the other police arrived, my friend would simply say he was first on the scene and he would confirm that the invader was shot inside the house.

He also said that if I caught my wife with a lover, I should shoot to kill and claim I thought I had walked in on a man raping my wife. He guaranteed me that I would not face any charges. And it would place fear in my wife if she ever decided to cheat again.

Kid just Clinton the right thing in protecting his momma, not knowing who was a soulless cheating whore. She destroyed her family because of boredom with her marriage. Better she have to live with it for the rest of her worthless life.

I liked the story, it played in the face of some stupid laws recently having husbands shooting cheating wives lovers in his home and then going to jail because they were too cheap to get a room at a hotel. Cheating spouse getting away with cheating on the other spouse when common sense showed what was happening and the shooter was honor bound and bad DA’s using anti gun laws the wrong way. In this case SHE should not have been stupid enough to bring the cheating home. This time in this story her own son busted her and her cheating ways.

Yes a .22 can kill. More deer are poached with a .22 than any other round and a deer is much tougher in terms of taking a bullet and continuing to move than a human.

A .22 long rifle cartridge IS a regular (most common) .22 cartridge.

Certainly a .22 out of a rifle would have more velocity than out of a pistol and thus be more deadly. Having said that, accuracy would be the most important factor. Getting a shot between the ribs into the heart or a shot in the head or spine would be the most effective. Which is all to get around to saying when you go plinking it's the same .22 cartridge you stick in either a rifle or a pistol.

No there was no misunderstanding. Yes, the affair was consensual, but once he wanted anal, she said no, and he continued that was, indeed, anal rape.

He was raping her.

The rifle he used would have been made between 1871 and up to around 1920ish. The 22 Long cartridge was superseded by the 22 Long RIFLE cartridge about that time. The 22 Long cartridge was originally a black powder cartridge; the 22 Long RIFLE is a smokeless cartridge. 22 Short's were used in "gallery guns" and for very close in pests.

So, the boy shot the rapist with a 22 Long RIFLE, not 22 Long- but other than that I'd say it's a good story. 5 stars

The best revenge is a good life. I would have liked to see him earn the love of a better woman.

Great Story. One of the best I've ever read ! I've followed others posted by 'xleglover", another of my favorite authors. This story "Fatal Misunderstanding" had a very good story line development and the consequences were "just". I agonized for poor Tom, a good man, great provider and dutiful husband and father, adequate (maybe more than adequate) as a lover and bedmate, who was regrettably clueless until confronted with his wife's affair and the nasty, ugly facts of the adultery and, worst of all, the sense of "betrayal" of their relationship and marital commitment. How perplexed he must have felt that she repeatedly spurned his attempts at intimacy, no matter how hard he tried ! No wonder he was so angry when all was finally revealed...justifiably so ! Yes, Tom deserved to find a "better woman" and, one would hope, sometime in the future he will. As for Gina, who wasn't even willing to try to "work things out" with Tom, she certainly got "justice", too ! Maybe more than she deserved, in re. the divorce settlement. 'And her feeble attempts at reconciliation in the aftermath and lead-up to the final "divorce decree" was "too little, too late". How could she have expected anything else; Tom, after all, was a real "man" and had his pride, no matter what abominable names and disdain the "crud" college student heaped on him. The 'crud' college student reaped what he had sown, too ! Death was his due(maybe through emasculation, Lorena Bobbit style, too, more appropriate than any other punishment that could have been meted out). 'Good for Calvin ! He did what was required and "manned up" when he had to....and stood by his Father (Tom). A thoroughly satisfying tale, start to finish, eloquently told. Well done !

In fact, the.22’s short version was the first-ever rimfire cartridge on the market. It took another 20 years for the round to be extended to the length currently known as the.22 Long. Not to nit pick or anything

He owned three restaurants. He was the head chef in one. He found out that while he was working, his wife was having affairs in his home. He came home one night and wanted sex with his wife. She refused and he held her down and forced her to have sex with him. She had him arrested and charged with forcible rape. He was sentenced to several years in prison and the rest of his life on the Sex Offender Registry. If a woman says No, and you have sex with her anyway...even if she is your wife...you have committed rape. So, there is no doubt, her young lover wea, indeed, guilty of rape. And Calvin did not murder him.

Regarding the .22. I have shot thousands and thousands of .22 rounds. .22 short, .22 long and .22 long rifle both in hand guns and rifles. The .22 long rifle became the go to a long time ago, longer than I am old & I'm retired.

Sir: The author is correct and you don't know jack.

When you hate her that much, you are never fair with the settlement. Lol

It wasnt up to him anyway about the settlement, the judge made it fair

Please its only a story!..Who gives a rats what bullet, What law defines rape, Why some Asshole Farted on a cummuter flight I Was on And It STUNK...Where was I? Oh Yeah! Get a Life this is Literotica expect the best and get the worst!..Give credit to the Author or Not..Because trust Me we don't want to hear your Bullshit saying that a certain bullet was not.Sheesh....Happy New Year or Not thats up to you,

5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

I totally agree with your comment. However, repeated or persistent grammatical errors do annoy me and detract from my enjoyment of the text, except, of course, when they are in quoted speech and typical of a character. [Katib]

Cheaters are slime

Feel sorry for son and dad

Calvin made a mistake. Shoulda put one in her, too. Should have taken a baseball bat to her c-nt. Nothing but a cheating slut. She should have gotten her just due...

@mattenw, the issue isn't what other can or cannot do. But readers don't care about what caliber bullet a gun uses, and comments criticizing a mistake there are a wast of time. 99% of us don't know or care about the difference between a clip and a magazine, or how many shots a Glock can shoot without reloading.

Of course, writers can help by leaving out those details, especially when they don't know them!

Enjoyed reading about Luke getting blown away. The cheating bitch gets to suffer the loss of everything. Unfortunately, Tom lost his will to live thanks to the bitch. Calvin Wil be ok.

Very well thought out consequences for everyone, not just the cheaters.

She wasn’t the woman whose lover was murdered. If it was murder, her son would still be in jail. One of his better stories though

Not a plot analysis. I liked having a kid finding the cheater. But the way you described it after i found lacking...

Again. This is a really well thought out story. Like was raping her, as she told him no to the anal sex. Calvin was trying to save his mother, not knowing that she was a willing whore. A larger caliber bullet that would have taken them both out would have been a blessing. She got away too easily.

A person will say what they would do in a situation like this but you don't really know till you are actually in it. I could not blame the boy myself.

A woman can change her mind at any time during a sexual encounter. Just because she allowed him to use her vagina that doesn’t mean he can have access to her ass! She was screaming stop, when he didn’t stop then her son legally stopped him! Her son was standing his ground against an aggressor.

Even if one person says "no" or "stop" during sex, it can still be consensual. Whether that person is a woman or not is irrelevant. Rape fantasies are both common and absolutely legal between consenting adults. Responsible people will understand that they are engaging in a form of BDSM and agree on a safe word beforehand, but some people aren't very responsible with their sex lives. even so, that still does not make it rape.

So if a person says "no" during a sex scene in a story, it COULD be a description of rape, but is not necessarily. In this particular story the description was very clearly one of a rough sex scene involving a rape fantasy. That the scene happened between a couple of irresponsible idiots, one of them with a violent temper, the other committing betrayal, is another matter. That it is extra super-duper stupid to play the submissive role with a violent tempered person, in any such act, is yet another topic that should perhaps have been covered in the story. That part, I feel, was too important to leave out of the murder charge plot, and an oversight by the author.

He got his well deserved. Cheated then going to physically abuse kid when caught.

Only thing better if severely wounded and in wheelchair rest of his life

jtwheels

Not all stories have happy endings. Father and son were innocent victims, the wife wanted everything - got nothing. Only the lawyers win.

Read it again and it reads true. I wonder how many lives have been destroyed by a wife feeling old and needing some middle age excitement? I think it's fewer than one my suspect, but each one of them does so much damage to so many people.