Finding Rene

I belted the scotch down, stood up and stepped into the kitchen. As I carefully set the tumblers down on the kitchen counter, I seriously wondered if I was going to be able to do it. Her asshole will probably be tightened up in fear. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I gathered up all my clothes, her clothes, shoes and my cell phone. 10:34 it read. I headed up to her room. Her bed was still a mess.

I recalled Laura's comment about not expecting to be sitting topless with some strange man in a little apartment in Bruges. Well I sure as hell didn't wake up this morning in De Panne envisioning that I'd be making someone else's bed, naked, in Blackheath, while she washed her butthole out in the next room for potentially, at least, a retribution to her father anal fuck..

I turned down one side of the bed and slipped in. It was comfy. She had a flat screen TV on the opposite wall. The remote was on the night stand.

I scrolled through the menu and found 'football' highlights; they were covering the Manchester United season. Laura was sure taking her time. I'd heard the toilet flush in the next room a couple of times and then I could hear the shower running. The highlights ended at 11:00. I was scrolling through the menu again when Laura appeared.

She was naked with a white towel wrapped around her head and a second one folded over her arm. I couldn't help but smile.

"Did the staff valet come by to make the bed?" she grinned.

"Ha! He did, without even ass-king."

She climbed onto the bed and was on her hands and knees, "Oh, and it's so hard to find good staff these days." She rubbed my cock through the sheet.

"Naw, all it takes is a little ass kissing."

"Really?" She spun around, still on her hands and knees facing one corner of the bed.

Still on her knees with her legs spread apart she reached down to the floor with her right hand. Her skinny little ass splayed wide open, her bum hole was a coral pink colour. There wasn't a hair in sight. Little cute lines converged to a teeny tiny little bubble with a little happy face opening below it. Sitting up I grabbed her upper thighs and planted a big fat wet kiss on her bumhole and then poked my tongue forward.

"Ohh!" her head popped up. "I was just getting the box."

"What?" I looked down and there on the floor next to the bed was a flat plastic rectangular box with probably thirty different sex toys in it. Of all different colours. There were dildos, dongs, vibrators, a double dong, a big black cock with balls, all kinds of lotions, Velcro restraints, tiny little vibrators, feathery things. I was in shock! The box was obviously under the bed. I missed that it was there as I made the bed.

"What's this?" I picked up a thin chain.

"Nipple clamps," she said before I could figure it out. She sat up and turned to face me.

"Put 'em on."

"Okay, but I was just reaching for some lube."

I couldn't keep my eyes from that box. There was definitely a butt plug in there. "Oh my ggaa... you are one twisted... I'm speechless."

She clipped the clamps onto her fat nipples and then twisted a little screw to get the tension right. The little chain hung between the two clamps.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"A little, but the feeling is amazing when they come off."

Another reality altogether. Little mousy, chin quivering, polio leg Laura was a veritable sex fiend. Traumatized by her molesting father, cheated on by her boyfriend, shit and puked on, can't be with a man, all that I got. But that box of sex toys, it didn't make any sense. If she had a butt plug, it must have been in her ass. Or at least she'd tried to put it into herself. That double ended dong must have been eighteen inches long. I could almost picture her and another woman grinding their pussies together with that monster stuffed inside them. And that gigantic black thing... un-frikkin' believable.

"...Bill... Bill..."

I shook my head, "I'm sorry." She was looking very serious. Her grey eyes were honing into mine. I even saw a slight twitch. Her right hand cupped the back of my head. Her nipples were clamped and a chain hung between them.

"Bill. Yes, sex is a big part of my life. Yes, it's probably related to the molestations I had as a child. I recognize that, but just like the depression, the low self-esteem, the shame, humiliation and guilt, it's not going away. All I can do is try to manage it. That's what we are trying to do here. A man fucking my ass is a big hurdle I need to get over. Bill, you are that man, You're a savior to me. Don't you see that?"

"I see a beautiful woman with nipple clamps on her tits."

She stood up off the bed, I was still under the sheets. She picked up the white towel that she had brought in and spread it on the bed, over top of me. Then she unwrapped the turban like towel wrapped around her head and dropped it to the floor.

She was absolutely gorgeous. Slim, yes. Short, with very few curves, yes. One leg just slightly skinnier than the other, yes. Basically no tits, yes again. Still damp mousy coloured hair with white streaks, ditto. Shaved pussy, fat nipples with clamps, a cute face, piercing grey eyes, those emotion laden lips and the little chin quiver. She was absolutely frikkin' gorgeous.

I realized I was getting hard again.

"Which toy is your favorite?"

She smiled as she sat back down. She then reached down and pulled out a purple toy. "This one," she was grinning.

I took it from her. It was sleek, purple, "It's a rabbit right? Isn't that what it's called?"

"Yes," she couldn't keep the grin off of her face, "it's the latest technology."

Although I was holding it she extended her hands and magically turned the thing on. It was very quiet, but it was writhing and vibrating in my hands, little soft silicone 'ears' were a blur. I could see no buttons.

"It's water-proof" she said, grinning.

"Laura," I asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could manage this in your pussy," I held up the writhing, buzzing thing, "while I fuck your ass?"

She turned white. The whitest person on the planet just got even whiter.

She gulped.

"Okay," she answered a little tentatively. Her chin was twitching.

I was hard as a rock again.

I pulled myself out from underneath the sheets and towel and stood next to the bed. My cock was pointing straight at her. Laura straightened the towel out and then picked up a plastic bottle of lube. She squeezed a generous amount out onto her hand, which she immediately coated my shaft with and then the purple rabbit which was still twisting and buzzing in my hand. After a second squeeze, she reached behind her and buried her hand into her ass as she smiled up to me.

"Okay," she said and climbed up on to the white towel on her hands and knees. She lowered her head and shoulders onto the towel and flexed her spine downwards. Her shaved pussy lips were garishly parted and her coral pink bum hole winked at me. Everything was glistening in the light.

I managed to turn the rabbit off. I lay it on the white towel next to Laura.

"Laura are you certain that you want to do this?"

"Please, Bill, yes, I am."

"No foreplay, Laura?"

"We did that all weekend Bill. This is it. Culmination."

I gulped. Sur-fucking-real.

I climbed up onto the bed and knelt down behind Laura. I poked my finger into her bum. It went in easily. I could hear her exhale.

"Okay, are you ready?" She responded by nodding her head. Her right cheek was pressed down onto the towel. Her head was already turning a little pink.

I pressed my cock head into her bum hole. It wouldn't go in.

"Just relax Laura."

It still didn't go in. I pushed a little harder. It still wouldn't go in. I tried my finger. That slipped in easily.

"Just relax your bum hole, Laura."

I spread more lube onto the tip of my cock and pushed it against her coral cutie. It still wouldn't go."

"Push harder," she instructed.

I pushed. And pushed some more. I didn't want to hurt her but I pushed a bit more.

I slipped in...

"Oooww!" she screamed. Her hands were shaking; I could see her feet were shaking too. I was more than half way in. She was tight around my cock.

"Oh shit!" I started pulling out.

"No! Leave it in!" She pushed back onto my cock.

"But I'm hurting you!"

"Leave it in. I'll be alright... ohhh."

Clearly she was not. Her hands and feet were still shaking and her head, neck and torso had a definite red hue.

I waited a few good moments and then I slowly eased myself all the way in. Her head lifted off the towel and her breathing became heavy.

"Are you okay?"

Her head bobbed up and down, through deep breaths.

I was actually a little frightened about the whole situation.

I knelt behind her motionless. I could feel her pulse on my cock. My hands were on her bum cheeks. I was starting to worry if I could stay hard. I was hurting her and I wasn't happy about it.

Laura pulled off me slowly, her anus distending with the movement and then she pushed back, burying the anus with the motion. That visual kept my interest piqued.

She repeated the movement.

Then again. Off and on.

She then did something that I had completely not expected. She picked up the purple rabbit that was laying next to her and shoved it into her pussy in one quick motion.

"Ohh..." she hissed, and then started to hyperventilate.

I could feel the tightness caused by the dildo against my cock.

"Are you okay, Laura?"

She nodded and then slipped herself off of my cock and pushed back down. I could discern the taper to the rabbit as she did it another time. Her bum tightened slightly on my cock as she pulled herself off me. Before I could rationalize that strange feeling, the vibrator buzzed to life, jolting me. It twisted and buzzed against my cock.

"Holy shit!"

There was no chance of me going soft now. I hadn't even started fucking her yet, and it was less than an hour ago since I came during our cuddle-fuck. If Laura was okay with this, then she was in for a hell of ride.

She pulled off and then forcefully pushed back.

Slowly I started fucking her ass, matching her movements.

I was in for a hell of a ride, too. I tried to imagine how Laura's orgasm or most probably orgasms would play out while she was on her hands and knees. Naturally her spine would start to flex, waiting to snap forward like a bow.

It suddenly dawned on me, I could be riding a bronco.

I started pumping my cock in and out of her ass in earnest. She had both hands on the shaft of the rabbit vibrator holding into place. Her entire weight was on her knees and her shoulders. Her head was pressed against the white towel. I could see that her mouth and nose was wet at she struggled for air. Her thin lips were pulled back and she almost grimaced. There was a constant low vocalization coming from her between deep wet breaths, somewhere between a moan and a rasp.

"That's it; fuck me, Bill!"

I pounded her ass. Every time I sunk in, my cock came into full contact with the twisting vibrating shaft that was seemingly pressed against the underside of my cock. As I pulled out, the vibrations were concentrated on the underside of just the cock head while her rectum tightened due to the increased rabbit girth in her pussy. As I pushed back in, my balls would come into contact with Laura fingers as she held on to the rabbit. Her hand and fingers transmitted the vibrations straight to my testes.

It was unbelievable.

I suddenly became aware that Laura's knees were giving out and that she was slowly sliding closer to the bed and towel while I slowly rolled forward to maintain contact. After a few moments she was effectively flat on the white towel with the rabbit vibrator jammed between the herself and the bed. She still held on with both hands.

"Auughh..." she gasped.

My hands slipped down onto the bed on either side of Laura's skinny rib cage. I was now equally weight distributed between my knees and my arms. That gave my hips complete freedom.

I used it to slam my cock home into her ass.

"Yesss, fuck me! Fuck my arse!"

Laura was covered in sweat. Her entire torso, neck and side of her face was red.

"Mmnnggghh..."

Her spine started to flex as she instinctively tried to raise her head. I kept slamming her ass and kept myself off of her back to allow it to continue flexing, ready for release.

She flexed some more, twisting slightly onto her right shoulder, yet continued to fuck back against my cock while holding the rabbit.

"Wwwahhhh..."

My cock pistoned in an out of her ass in full length strokes. I knew I was starting to get close.

She twisted and flexed some more. She was starting to shake. If she kept on twisting, I knew she would slide straight off my cock. I sat back on my knees and picked her up by her hips and slammed my cock back up her ass.

She came. Roaring. Her head, elbows, shoulders and torso were simply flopping up and down as I hung onto her hips. I did my best to continue pumping in and out of her. I could see that she let go of the rabbit. I felt it slipping out of her. With my right hand I reached down and stopped it before it slipped out. With my left forearm I held her by her pelvis.

I saw the nipple clamps on the white towel next to her head.

She continued flailing up and down. Her damp hair was flopping with every fast jerk movement of hers. The rabbit ears were mercilessly slapping against my right wrist and her clit as I continued to hold on. The noise from her was only stifled when her mouth came into contact with the now damp towel.

I knew that was it for me, too. I clenched onto Laura and her rabbit as my hips jerked out of control, spurting over and over deep into her ass. My heart was pounding and my chest was heaving as I struggled for air. Sweat dripped off the end of my nose onto the small of Laura's back. She continued to flop up and down.

Everything was going a little grey.

I let go of the vibrator and with my left forearm still wrapped around Laura's pelvis I flipped onto my right side onto the bed. My cock was still deep inside Laura's ass as she twisted herself into a similar fetal position. Her small back was pressed to my chest. The rabbit was buzzing to itself on the bed.

We were both struggling for air as our chests heaved in unison. Her entire body continued to jerk in aftershocks. I knew enough to stay away from the forward movement of her head.

My cock was quickly softening up.

She was still twitching. Damp mousy hair was splattered and stuck to her face.

My cock slipped out of her bum hole. It was glistening.

Cum oozed out from her anus, which was slightly dilated. It ran across her bum cheek down to the white towel.

She turned the rabbit off.

I kissed the back of her left shoulder and flopped onto my back, still breathing deeply.

She lay motionless on her side with her back to me.

"Thank you, Bill."

"I love you, Laura."

She was silent for a moment.

"I love you, too, Bill."

She used those words very carefully.

"Do you feel healed now?"

"No. My bum is sore."

"Sorry."

She rolled onto her back and turned her face towards me. It was still wet. "I loved it, and I love you."

I shifted and tilted my lips to kiss her on the lips. "And I love you, Laura."

*****

My cell phone woke me with a start at five thirty. Laura turned on her night light. I immediately saw that she had been crying. She pulled a tissue from the box next to her and gave her nose a blow, then swung herself out of bed.

"I'll make you some coffee," she said in a shaky voice with her back towards me. "Go get yourself dressed."

She pulled a housecoat from her closet, stepped into slippers and walked out of the room without even looking at me.

I dragged myself out of her bed and staggered off to the washroom with my kit. I didn't have a towel. I picked up the one that was on the floor. It was still a little damp from Laura's hair. After shaving, showering and all the rest, I went back to Laura's room to get myself dressed and to pack up my bags.

I felt like a fucking rat.

It was already 6AM when I came downstairs. Laura was still dressed in a housecoat and slippers. She had a mug of tea for herself and a mug of coffee for me. Last night's tumblers were still on the kitchen counter.

She was clearly stressed. So was I.

We stood in the kitchen drinking our tea and coffee. We could barely look at each other. I was so nervous and uncomfortable. I needed to hold my coffee mug with both hands. I had to put the mug down on the counter. Without looking at me, she put her mug of tea down next to mine.

Her head hung down. She wouldn't let me see her face.

Awkwardly, I pulled a business card out of my laptop bag and put it on the counter. She sniffled and reached for her purse fumbling inside for a matching card.

"I've fallen head over heels in love with you, Laura."

"And I with you!" she cried out. She looked up, her eyes were all red.

We kissed. A long passionate kiss.

She broke the kiss. "Your taxi is here." She sobbed and pressed a business card onto my hands.

"So what's it going to be, Bill, between you and me? Is it going to be like The Annunciation where something profound is about to happen, like perhaps fate will pull us together over the next few days or weeks, that our lives might be forever entwined like the chess pieces and the bells in the painting? Or will it be like the Man with a Newspaper, that our relationship and all we've just had together, will just wither away and die?"

She broke out in renewed tears. I tried to stay strong.

"I don't know," I answered. "Do you?"

Her shoulders bounced up and down as she sobbed, "No."

I kissed her again, gave her slim bum a gentle squeeze and turned away. I picked up my flight bag and laptop bag.

She opened the front door, quiet tears streamed down her face. "Bye, I love you," I said and kissed her cheek. A black London taxi was parked at the curb in front of her house.

"I love you, too, Bill," she sobbed staring straight into me with her watery grey lasers. She pecked me quickly on the cheek, stepped away and held her eyes down and away from me.

It took all the mettle I had in me to make it down those few footsteps.

I lasted to the other side of the sidewalk before tears erupted from my eyes. I shielded it all from her by keeping my back to her as I tossed my bags onto the back seat.

She was crying, too, I could hear her bawling as I closed the door. I didn't dare take a last glance to her doorway.

I found fucking Rene.

*****

All I could think about was Laura. I didn't call her or email her or anything. I didn't have the nerve, or I guess, the balls. What would be the subject line? Drop everything, quit everything and come live with me in Toronto? Because I really, really love you?

She didn't try to contact me either.

In Blackheath, maybe I had walked in the wrong direction. Away from the woman I loved.

But then, what else could I do? We're both responsible adults. We talked about it. We both understood. We knew what the reality was.

Oh, my mind had raced through a myriad of permutations, of possibilities, of what-ifs. I rationalized, I concentrated, I evaluated. I tried to imagine a solution, a new reality. There were a bunch, but the problem was that none of them were realistic. I could list them from A to Z. At one end, were the completely inane possible realities and at the other, the just plain crazy ones. Nothing made sense. I couldn't figure it out. It was almost as if I was grieving. I imagined Laura at the funeral parlor with a short school girl's skirt and one leg just, just slightly skinnier then the other.