Forbidden

"How long have you known?" Jane asked interrupting her tirade, and ducking the wide gestures. At least Reyna might answer in a language she understood.

"Long time I know. In school even, but you never tell me. You always protect me. I love you for that. Only once I have jealousy over you. But Ummah talk to me and I understand."

"Ummah knows???" Jane squeaked

"It is how you say, DUH!" Reyna just shook her head. "You silly girl... Ummah is smart. She tells me how woman love and play with other woman. It is happening in Muslim places too. But they have to be very careful. Most are wife, but find love with other woman. As long as not caught...." Jane was sitting there with her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water with no sounds coming out.

If the doorbell hadn't rung, who knows...? Seeing the shocked look on Jane's face, Reyna got up and answered the door. She was met by a teary eyed Susan.

"Is Jane here?" She asked quietly.

"Yes, you come, you love." She said and she hugged the tall woman. "Come, you must fix, then I finish dinner."

She pulled the now startled Susan behind her as she rounded the corner to where Jane was sitting. Pulling both women together, she nudged them until they were almost hugging. Leaning in she kissed first Susan then Jane before saying.

"I love you both, but you are lovers. You kiss and make up. I keep Janna in room. Be quiet, if she hears and I cannot stop." then left them alone.

"I'm sorry..."

"I didn't mean it..." They said together. Putting Reyna's suggestion to practice, Jane kissed her lover. Susan responded with heat. When they broke apart, Susan tried to explain.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." Susan said in a soft voice full of emotion. "I just... I want you so badly it scares me. I love you so much I don't know what to do with myself." Susan tried to put her feeling into words.

"I love you too. I'm just so confused." Jane responded. "I don't want to hide us, but I know we have to." Jane hugged Susan tight. "You don't know how many times I just wanted to go into your office and make passionate love to you. It makes work hard some days. Then we don't have the privacy..." They were talking softly, but Janna heard Susan's voice anyway. The door banged open as she called out.

"Aunty Shoezy!" She yelled as she threw herself into Susan's arms. "You here.... You stay!" She ordered before smothering her face with wet kisses.

"Hey kiddo...!" Susan sniffed as she held Janna just as tight as she could. Janna was happily babbling away at the two women who looked over her head and found love in the others gaze.

"Yes, we all better now." Reyna said joining them. "I fix dinner; you go play with Janna... I will call when ready." She pushed them out of her way as she went about getting dinner on the small table.

After a dinner filled with Janna's chatter, Reyna sent her daughter back into the room with her favorite movie so she could have a talk with Susan and Jane. She was happy to see them kissing when she came back. At first Reyna didn't know about the tall redheaded woman, but as time had passed, she had come to like her and she appreciated the care Susan showed her daughter. She could never thank her enough for making her daughter happy.

She stood there looking at the two women wondering if they would like the idea she and her mom had come up with. She felt guilty for calling her mom so much, but hoped Jane had meant what she said when she told her to be at home. She looked around the small apartment and sighed.

Jane heard the sigh and asked. "What's wrong Rey?" She started to pull away from Susan, but Reyna just waved her back.

"I need to talk to you." She said coming over. "No, you too Susan...." She added when Susan started to move.

Both women looked at Reyna, waiting. They wanted to hold and cuddle each other but didn't know if Reyna would be comfortable with their displays of affection.

"So, you make up, yes?" Reyna asked. "Good! I know you love, so it is good you not fighting." She added at the shake of their heads. "We need talk. Sit please. I want to ask questions."

Jane and Susan sat next to each other on the small love seat as Reyna turned one of the table chairs around to sit. She sat with her hands on her lap trying to think of the right things to say.

"What is it Reyna?" Susan asked. "If you are uncomfortable with us..."

"No... no, you are lovers. You should show it. It is much more than I ever have with Rajah. Some time I wish... Never mind... I need to talk about small place. This place is too small. You not happy, Susan not happy, Janna needs pace to play. I have talked to Ummah and she want to come over and see Janna and baby when born."

"Ummah called? Why didn't you say...?" Jane started.

"No, I called her. I hope you do not mind." Reyna said nervously.

"Of course not... What did she say?" Jane asked while Susan wanted to know.

"Who's Ummah? I've heard you talk about her but I don't know who she is."

"Ummah is word for mother. It is only word Janey know so we call my mother Ummah." Reyna explained. She went on to tell them what was on her mind.

"Ummah said we need big house so she can come and see baby. She asks if you think of getting big house. Here in America, they don't think bad things when women live together in big house. We help, will pay."

"It's a good idea Jane," Susan said. "You could have your own room back and Janna would have a yard to play in. I could come over on the weekends..."

"No... No!" Reyna was slapping her lap in frustration. "You live with us too." Reyna said with some heat.

"It hurts you when you are not together. It makes me feel sad and Janna wants both of you at home where you belong. She thinks you Dida... word for family. Ummah said it was good idea if you are already lovers. You make love, you like married. No play around. It is right."

"But... I... Um, I don't...." Susan sputtered confused. "You know we...! How did you...?"

"I know Janey for over half of my life. I know on second day she is called lesbian. I learn what that means. You are lesbian too, and love Janey like she loves you. I see what happened when you do and when you don't. I am not blind." Reyna told the speechless women in front of her.

"I know I not speak good English. I forget much over the last years, but I do know Janey, I do know love. I love Janey too, in my own way. I also love you Susan, but in different way. We all women, we all love, why not live together. It is better that way." Reyna finished.

"I don't know Rey, I never thought of it. I was thinking about getting a bigger apartment, but I didn't know if Susan wanted... and we've been trying to keep it... We didn't want you to think...?" Jane tried to explain.

"I know Janey... You always want to protect me and Janna too. It is one of things I love about you. But, I am woman. I am smart and I know you. You never love Susan if you didn't want to be with forever." She silenced Jane then aimed at Susan. "You not... Slut...! You want same. You want forever. Now you can have forever with Jane."

Susan, who was trying to moisten her throat with a drink of Jane's wine, sprayed it down her blouse at the word slut. She knew what Reyna was trying to say, but still. The room was quiet except for the soft noise of Janna's video in the next room. Reyna just sat there waiting for Jane and Susan to think about what she had said.

"I go be with Janna, let you two talk. It can be good." Reyna said after a moment. She got up quietly and went into the room with her daughter.

Jane got up and got a towel for Susan. She knew the top was going to be ruined, but her mind was spinning at what Reyna had said. On one hand, it would solve many problems. On the other, it would cause more. Jane didn't know if Susan wanted an exclusive type of commitment. She knew eventually she did, and could think of no one other than Reyna she'd want it with.

Susan accepted the towel silently. She could see the wheels spinning in Jane's eyes. Her mind had frozen at the notion that Reyna had not only known about their lovemaking, but she also accepted it. Was Jane ready for the next step? She knew she wanted to ask, but didn't want to pressure Jane. She wanted Jane to let her know. Plus the fact of, she knew Jane still loved Reyna, but Reyna said she loved them both. This could be the answer to her prayers, or a complete disaster.

"Who would have thought it" Jane broke the silence. "Um, wow, tonight has been a night for surprises."

"You ain't whistling Dixie there sweetheart." Susan added stunned. "Did you know? Is that why you wanted me over this weekend?" Susan asked.

"I had no idea!" Jane said defensively "All Reyna said is Janna wanted to take us to the Zoo and park. Of course I wanted to be with you..." Jane said truthfully.

"Um, I'm tired; you're tired. Let's sleep on this..." Susan said, still not knowing how to respond. "Speaking about going to bed, where are we going to sleep? Who gets the bed and who gets the floor?"

Jane, thinking of an answer, was interrupted by Janna, coming out and jumping on their laps. "Hi, it's bed time...." The little girl announced. "Come sleep with me Aunty Shoezy. You too Aunty Janey... We sleep together. It be fun!"

"How big is your bed?" Susan asked.

"A Queen, it's the only thing that'd fit" Jane told her as they were pulled by the enthusiastic Janna.

"Hurry, hurry, get in your bed clothes, it is night-night time." Janna told them seriously.

"I will go clean up the kitchen." Reyna added as she left the room.

"And how is this going to work little lady?" Susan asked in a teasing voice.

"It is simple... I sleep in the middle." She lay down straight, with her arms at her side, and then motioned Susan next to her. "You lay next to me and Aunty Janey lay next to you and mommy lay over here." Janna pointed to the other side of the bed with a flourish.

"See, we all fit!" She exclaimed like she solved the answer to world hunger.

"If you think so..." Susan said to Janna. "Order number one, if we all move into a big house. A king sized bed." She told a giggling Jane.

After fifteen minutes of everyone trying to get comfortable, Janna was having nothing of it. "Come on.... Squish in.... I want a big squish." She pulled all the adults in until she was satisfied.

"Better, now who's telling me my story?" She asked innocently and the women giggled at her forcefulness.

***

The weekend was a joy. It was the first time Susan and Jane openly showed their affection. All of the adults talked over their options of moving as Janna kept them busy at the Zoo and park. As they were sitting down to lunch, at the local set of the Golden Arches, Susan asked.

"So is this a real possibility? Or are we just dreaming?"

"Yes, why not...?" Reyna asked."

It's logical. We're both spending how much on rent? If we combine our incomes, with the ability to come home to each other...? Granted the yard will be an issue. I mean I never pushed a mower in my life. Then there are the safety and school issues." Jane ticked off the points like any good assessment.

"Are you two ready for big commitment?" Reyna asked getting to the point.

Both women looked at each other, neither one wanting to be the first to speak. Finally Susan dew on her courage and took the plunge.

"I am. I know Jane's what I want. We've had our first big fight and are now closer for it. So yes, if she is, I'm ready." She got out in a rush, before she could second guess herself.

Jane sighed in relief. "I know I love you. That's good enough for me. I know we still have things we need to decide, but yeah I'm ready too. It's not like I'm looking for anyone else."

"Whatcha talking bout Mommy...?" Janna asked catching the emotions swirling around her.

"Aunty Janey and Aunty Susan are thinking about getting us a big house to live in like Aunty Susan's parents."

"You mean Aunty Shoezy will live with us? Goody.... She can read me story and..."

"Whoa there chickette... I'd still have to go to work with Aunty Janey."

"It's okay; I can share my room with you Aunty Shoezy." Janna said with complete innocence.

"We have to find a house first Kiddo." Jane told the precocious child.

"My sister, Sharon, is in real estate. We could call her and see what's available." She pulled out her phone while Reyna told Janna to go play on the play structure while the women talked.

Susan talked to her sister for a minute and then started relaying her questions to the others. "Rent or Buy... Uh huh... In the loop or out, and what schools? Hey Sharon.... Sharon!!! Sis, why don't you meet us at Jane's apartment then you can ask..." She listened a little more then answered.

"Because, I don't want to make this a family decision... It's between me and Jane...! Yes... Yeah I know, but they'll get over it. Steven knows. Okay... Okay, we'll come to your house. Janna can play with your kids while we talk. Okay, I hear you.... We'll be there in a little bit."

Sighing she told Jane and Reyna. "That was Sharon the busybody. She wants us to come over there so she can go over some stuff. Be warned, the family will know within an hour we are moving in together. So if you don't want to do this, speak now or forever hold your piece. We're about to get more advice than...."

"It will be okay... At least your family will listen. I doubt my dad will hear what we say for a month or more. But when he does, be ready to become Jewish overnight... You have years of guilt to catch up on." Jane tried to warn her lover.

"If nothing else, it will be interesting. Rey, you might want to go get Janna. She has a play date." Susan said, calling Reyna by Jane's pet name for the first time. Looking at Jane she added. "But, I'm Catholic, we have our own type of guilt, doesn't that count?"

Jane laughed. "No to my dad...! You have to remember he is old school Jewish. They invented guilt. Be prepared to answer questions about grandchildren. If we keep Janna on his lap, it might help. Reyna is already considered family. My dad will try and convert you, so be warned."

Holding Jane's hand, Susan said. "What are we getting into? Do you know how many rules we're breaking? Oh god! I just remembered... Reyna's Muslim... What do we do with that?"

"Um, we get used to a lot of different holidays?" Jane giggled as Janna ran up to them.

"I see play kids? Same kids I play with at party?" She asked Susan, climbing on her lap.

"Well some of them sweetie... We are going over to my sister's house so we can talk houses."

"You have sister? I'm going to have little sister or brother." Janna said not caring. She was more interested in play friends.

They crammed into Jane's small car and followed Susan's directions to her sister's house. Jane pulled up in front of the house as Susan swore under her breath.

"Damn, she's already called in the sisters. I was hoping...."

"What?" Reyna asked.

"Sharon has already called my sisters. That is Steph's car. I'm sure Shelia and Shannon aren't far behind."

"I don't remember Shannon." Jane said nervously.

"She was still at College. She's the baby." Susan said as she led them to the front door. They didn't even get to knock as a younger softer version of Susan answered the door.

"Janna, who was excited, saw her and asked. "You Aunty Shoezy's sister, does that make you my aunty too?" Shannon looked startled, but catching the glace for her big sister, she said.

"Sure, why not." Looking at Susan she added. "Aunty Sharon is cooking her killer pasta. Hi, you must be Jane and Reyna. I've heard a lot about you. Nice to meet you..." She bent down to pick up Janna.

"So what's your name cutie? Aunty Shannon has been put in charge on running heard on you guys as you tear up the play room."

"I am Janna, Aunty Shannon. You look like Aunty Shoezy. Same pretty hair."

"Thanks, I like it..." She said as she took the talkative child down the hall to where the other kids were.

"Hi sis, I'll be free in a minute." Sharon said as she stirred a big pot on the stove. "You guys make yourself comfortable. Sheila can watch this while I get what I need to start a search." She hugged Jane and Reyna welcoming them as she puttered around her large kitchen.

"So, did you inform the whole family in the last thirty minutes?" Susan asked irate.

"Not me..." Sharon said defiantly. "Shannon was visiting, and she made most of the calls. It's not my fault she heard. If I had some warning before you dropped the bomb..."

"Why is Shannon here?" Susan asked cooling down.

"She is studying to become a teacher. So she thinks my kids make good guinea pigs. So why am I the last to know?"

"What? Steven is the only one who I thought sized it out. You know my privacy issues. It's not like we want to take an ad out...!"

"Sorry Jane and Reyna... I'm not being rude. I like you, but she is my little sister, even if she doesn't come to me for advice anymore."

"Hey, that's not fair. We're here aren't we? We're asking you for help finding a house...? What do you expect? We only decided this today."

"Oh, Sorry... Shannon, get the door it should be Sheila." She called over her shoulder.

After the next rounds of greeting and hugs, they went into Sharon's office and got down to business.

"So girls, are we renting or buying? How big and where...? Better yet, how much can you afford for your down and how much a month? Here, just fill this out and I'll go from there. Oh, inside or outside of the loop...?"

"What do you think Reyna, This was your idea?" Susan asked confused. This is why she asked her sister. She didn't know about houses. She'd always lived in apartments.

"I don't know Susan. Ummah just said a big house so she would have place to see Janna and baby."

"Oh, I didn't know you're pregnant. No wonder you want a house... Hmm, How about in this area? The hospital is close and the schools are good."

"A bit pricy isn't it? We don't want to commute too far, less than an hour in traffic. Oh, and nothing off 75 it's a parking lot most of the day."

"I think, outside the loop. Nice flat yard lots of rooms... I don't know." They all sat there around her computer as she typed in the information as she got it.

They continued debating the options through dinner and well into the evening. They talked about the drives, gated communities, what type of car they'd need to fit everyone, and if Reyna was going to get a license.

They finally decided to let Sharon look over the week and next weekend they would start looking at houses. It would give them time to figure out how much they could put down and figure out a consolidated bill schedule.

The only thing Reyna reminded them of was. "Ummah said she help pay. I will call and ask how much. I not live off Janey and Susan. I find work if I need to."

"Oh dear, I know, but your job it taking care of the baby. We'll worry about the rest." Sharon said patting Reyna's tummy.

***

A long and stressful month later, Jane wondered how she got talked into this. She never knew it was so hard to find a house. Well actually it was easy to find a lot of houses. But the committee, as she started calling all the other people who thought they should have a say, would inevitably find something wrong.

The house was too far from the parents, or the schools were bad, or the commute was too long... She was getting sick to death of it. What was worse, it was time for her ninety day review. She was nervous about that too.

She knew there had to be some changes, but didn't know how Dean was going to handle them. She did give her unit the same time she did to make sure she was doing this for the right reasons. She didn't want it to be about personality's clashes or anything other than work. She was lost in thought as she threaded through the morning traffic.