Forget Me Not

"Do you want to watch something?"

"It will be a bit of a tight fit. But yes," she said, looking directly at me. "I do want to watch something with you."

"Do you have something in mind?"

"No. But... I do not care, so long as I have your company."

"Shall we see what we can find then?"

"Yes."

.:.

"Do you have enough room?"

"Yes," she answered. "I am fine. You can stop asking that."

"Sorry."

She laughed softly. "Relax a bit, Daniel. I promise I do not bite."

I turned my head, noted the curl of the smile. "I'm just trying to be considerate."

"Let us take that as a fundamental axiom, Daniel."

She rolled over towards me, pillowing her head on her arm. In the background, on Netflix, a building blew up, the sound muted to a dull rumble to avoid disturbing the neighbours through the paper thin floors.

I stared at her; at the faint lines on her brow - topology lines of stress that were now slowly being weathered away by her newfound security.

She flushed. "You are staring," she said, softly.

"Yes."

"I like that you are honest. And that you watch me."

"There is no point in lying to someone as perceptive as you."

"You are also a terrible flatterer."

"True. It's not a skill of mine."

"Good."

She took a breath, exhaled. "I do not think I could find the words to tell you how special this is. To be able to just be comfortable with someone." She took my hand and tucked it in against her.

"Erika..."

"Yes?"

"You've become a very important part of my life. I missed you."

She lifted my hand, touched it to her cheek, to her lips. Then she wriggled in closer, threw an arm over me, and held herself against me. After a moment, I curled my own arm around her and pulled her tightly against me. She made a small sound, sighed out a breath.

"Erika?"

"Shh. Just... just hold me for a bit, Daniel."

I gently kissed the crown of her head and closed my eyes, trying to ignore my pounding pulse and fighting down the reaction to her proximity. Her scent overwhelmed me, a heady mixture of her perfume and shampoo and a faint underlying musk. Each breath she took pressed her breasts and stomach against me, each movement made me more aware of the shape of her and of how much I wanted her.

I dropped my hand to the small of her back, and she shifted slightly, moving her hips in closer to me. I felt her slide her fingers up my back and curl them into my hair, and I shivered.

"Daniel," she whispered.

"Yes."

"What... what is it that you want from me?"

I sighed. "You. Just you and nobody else. All of you."

"I... I am nothing special."

"You're right. You aren't anything special. Special is not a good enough word to describe what you are to me. Special is what other people are, sometimes. You are far, far more than that to me."

She pulled me harder against her, and I felt rather than heard as she started, softly, to cry. I held her, gently stroking her back, not intruding, not trying to stop or comfort her but rather just being present and letting her find her own release.

"Sorry," she whispered, after some time.

"No. Don't be."

"I was trying to be strong. But I can not be strong around you."

"You don't have to be strong in front of me, Erika. I've seen the real you. I know your strength. It's ok to need help, to need comfort."

"I need to feel like I matter. I can not do this alone any more."

"Then don't."

"You do not know what you are getting in to."

"I know enough to know that I don't care."

"I can not be your fling."

"Erika, I don't want you to be."

"And what about Ilse?" she breathed.

"She's a part of you, and... Ich liebe dich."

"Your pronunciation is so terrible," she said, with small, choking laugh.

"I know. But the way I see it I've got lots of time to learn."

She took a deep breath, let it out. I wormed my arm under her head, then rolled onto my back and scooped her in closer towards me. I kissed her forehead and tucked my face in against hers.

"I hope you are who you seem to be," she sighed. "I have been hurt so badly in the past. I am mad to do this again."

"Do what, Erika."

"Fall for someone. For you."

"Have you?" I said, softly.

"Yes," she whispered. "When... when I saw how you were with Ilse. Then. Then I knew that what I was feeling was real. Then I knew that I wanted you. But I am... so scared."

"I know. But I will never hurt you."

"Yes, you will. Just... please just do not ever lie to me."

She levered herself up onto an elbow and stared down at me. Her eyes were red; she scrubbed the back of her arm against her face. "I mean it, Daniel. I would probably forgive most things. But not lying. Not any more."

"Danny, Erika. Calling me Daniel makes it sound like I'm in trouble. Please... call me Danny."

"Danny," she whispered.

I reached up and stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning into my hand. I slid my hand down her jaw, back around to the nape of her neck, and gently pulled her down to me.

She made a small noise, stiffened, and the gentle kiss I'd wanted to give her was more like an awkward pre-teen pressing of lips. She pulled back slightly, staring down at me. Then she snorted, grinned, and came back to me.

Our second kiss was magical.

.:.

"Erika?"

"Yes."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

She shifted slightly, lifted herself onto an elbow. "Why do you ask?"

"Well... you hadn't said anything for a couple of minutes. I was just checking."

She smiled. "I could get used to how caring you are."

"This is kind of a big thing for me. Just making sure I don't wreck it."

She leaned forward, kissed me gently. "I will tell you in plenty of time if you do something that I do not like."

"I will hold you to that, you know."

"How about you just hold me."

She draped an arm over me and curled in against me with a sigh.

"I need to go home soon," I said, softly. "It's nearly midnight and the busses will stop running."

"You do not. You are going to stay here."

"Sorry?"

"I want you to stay. Here, with me."

"Are... are you sure?"

"I... I don't want to be alone tonight. Not now. Not after... not after tonight."

"All we've done is kissed."

"And been honest with each other," she corrected me. "And, also, I make good pancakes."

"I guess I'm staying then."

"Good."

She squeezed herself tighter against me. "I have to leave at seven to be on time."

"Early pancakes then."

"Yes. But they will will be mine."

"Mm."

"Danny..."

"Yes?"

"You smell really nice, also."

"It's not Givenchy, I'm afraid. It's just whatever's cheapest at Tesco."

She laughed softly. "You are funny."

"Sometimes, yeah."

"And gentle. And caring. And sweet," she continued. "And very good with Ilse."

"She's lovely. Mad, but lovely."

"Mad like her mother."

"And lovely like her."

"You are flattering again."

"Maybe a little bit."

She trailed a hand down along my chest to my stomach, rested it there. I shivered.

"You can touch me," she whispered. "If... if you want."

"I do want. But... I don't want to go too far too fast."

"I will tell you to stop if you do. Danny... I want to feel wanted. I need to feel like a girl again. It has been so long since anyone touched me like you do."

I rolled over towards her and slid my hand down to the small of her back. I pulled her in against me. She whimpered slightly as I hunched forward, pressing myself against the firm curve of her belly.

"Does that count?" I breathed into her ear.

"You are so hard," she whispered, wriggling slightly.

"Have been since we were sitting at the table. Every time you pressed your leg against me it was like you were taking my breath away. It was so hard to concentrate."

"I wanted to turn and kiss you. So much."

"You should have."

"I wasn't sure..."

"Were you stretching like that on purpose?"

"Yes," she whispered. "You were watching me. I saw. So I wanted to... be as obvious as I felt I could be."

"It was very nice."

She nuzzled in, face against my jaw. I stroked my hand down over the thin fabric of her trousers, and she moaned softly.

"You sound very keyed up."

"You are driving me mad. Your hands on me are like fire. I can not stop moving..."

She wriggled again, then rolled away from me. She fumbled at her buttons, and I swallowed nervously as she let her blouse fall open. Her small, freckled breasts were cupped by a plain cream bra. I stared down at them, reached out hesitantly to touch them, to gently cup them, to slip a finger between the fabric and her left nipple, small and hard to the touch.

"Oh," she moaned. "Oh, oh, that is nice. Wait. Wait. Let me... Danny... please... "

She struggled upright, and then shook off the thin cotton blouse. She reached behind herself, unclipped the bra, and then let it fall aside.

"Touch me," she begged.

I pulled her down next to me, took her in my hand, kissed her as I gently teased a nipple. She moaned, forced her slender leg between mine, pressing her thigh against my aching cock. I broke our kiss, pushed her over onto her back, and then trailed gentle kisses down her neck and shoulder to her breasts. She tangled her hands in my hair as I took a nipple between my lips, then arched off the floor as I started to tongue the hard nub.

"Danny, Danny," she whispered. "Oh, oh God, that is so good."

I released her, looked up, met her gaze. "I love your breasts," I informed her. "They are beautiful. You're beautiful, but they are really, really beautiful."

"I am glad that you like them.... I love your lips on them. Especially here," she added, coquettish, touching the underside of one. "My bra hurts me. Perhaps... you could kiss it better."

I did, and she groaned, arching again.

"Here. Please..." she said softly, stroking the base of the other.

I kissed it better as well.

"Here," she whispered, trailing a fingertip around a nipple.

I obliged, and she arched up against me once more, and I teased, tongued, tasted her skin, reveling in the way she moaned, clutched me against her, whispered my name.

Then I released her, pulled her to me, kissed her again, and this time she forced herself up and onto me, rolling me onto my back, straddling me.

She broke for breath, panting, staring down at me.

Then, slowly, she undid the buttons of my shirt. She folded the fabric back, baring my chest. She leaned forward, kissed my sternum, and then lay down on me. I shuddered as I felt her breasts touch my skin, and she pulled herself against me.

"You feel so good. So warm," she whispered. She shifted slightly, positioning the bulge of my erection in the vee of her crotch. She took a shaky breath.

I stroked my hands slowly up her back, over her shoulder blades, then back down along her sides to the curve of her waist, then down, over the arch of her buttocks to cup her, pull her down against me.

"I want you," I breathed.

"Also," she groaned, low and plaintive. "I am not... I have no protection. I am not prepared. But I want you so much."

"I don't either. Didn't expect you'd be letting me touch you..."

"Also," she whimpered. "But... oh god... Danny, you make me feel so good."

I pulled her against me, and she groaned again. Then she shifted, rolled off me, and fumbled at the waist of her trousers. She clumsily unclipped them, and shimmied them awkwardly down and off her legs.

"Erika..."

She threw her leg back over me, and I stared at the thin fabric of her lace underwear. She raised herself on her knees, then fumbled at my crotch.

"What are... what are you doing..."

"Shh, shh," she moaned. She got my belt undone, and popped the button of my jeans. She slid the denim down, and then, groaning, freed my aching cock from my boxers. She held me, panting slightly, stroking me ever so slightly forwards and backwards in her palm.

"You cannot be in me," she whispered. "But you can be against me..."

"What..."

She released me, pulled the crotch of her underwear aside, and touched her lips to the underside of my shaft.

"Erika..." I moaned, arching backwards.

"Uh huh," she whimpered, as she slowly started to rub herself along me. I clasped my hands on her hips, staring up at her.

"Uh... oh... oh God... this is so dangerous..."

"I... need you..." she whispered. She grabbed one of my hands, raised it to her breast. "Touch me," she begged, as she started to slip faster along my now slick shaft. Then she reached her hand downwards between us, and started to play with herself.

I gasped as I felt her convulse.

"You like watching..."

"I like... watching you..." I agreed.

"I don't... I never touched myself much... except since I met you. Now. Now I can not do it enough. But this... you... oh, Daniel, you are so good on me..."

She arched backwards, sliding herself along my aching shaft, teasing frantically at her clit. I stared at her crotch, at the tantalising glimpses I caught of her slick lips through her dark mat of pubic hair.

"Show me you..." I begged.

"No... not... yet..." she panted.

"Are you..."

"Close..." she moaned. "Close."

I strained, pushing up against her, and she groaned deep in her throat. "Do that again..." she groaned. "Again... and... and again..."

I obliged, pulling her hard down on me, shifting my hips, grinding her along the ridges of my cock. She gasped; I felt her spasm once, twice, and then she threw back her head and started to grind madly along me, letting out pained, panting whimpers. She clamped her thighs on my hips, and then she stopped, shaking, bracing herself on locked arms as she stared down at me with a vacant, almost confused frown.

She let out a long, low, shuddering groan, snatched a breath, then fell, trembling, forward onto me.

I held her, aching for her, wishing I was sunk deep in her. I buried my face in her disheveled hair and held her as the tension in her body slowly ebbed.

"You ok?" I asked, softly, after some time.

"Yes. No. Maybe," she whispered.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing. Everything. Just... overwhelmed."

"What do you need me to do."

"Fuck me," she whimpered.

"We can't."

"I know. But... you asked me what I needed, not what you should do."

She lifted herself off me, and smiled a small smile. "Next time, come equipped." She wriggled slightly, slid up along me, and then we both moaned as she touched her soaking lips to my aching head. "Sehr gefährlich," she breathed. "So easy to let you in me, so, so bad. No, Erika, no," she berated herself.

She groaned, lifted herself up and away, and poised herself on arms and legs above me. Then she scooted downwards, lowered herself again, and took me unceremoniously into her mouth. I gasped at the heat of her, and she made a small sound as I shifted in her. She started to stroke me with her hand, tonguing around me, moving me gently in and out of her.

"Oh... oh Erika, that's amazing...don't... don't stop... please..."

I started to shift, to move, my body overriding my desire to lie still, thrusting up into her warm, accepting mouth. She shifted, staring up at me as she supported herself on one arm. She slipped me out of her, gasped a breath. "Come in my mouth. Pretend it is my body. I want to taste you, Danny."

"Oh god..."

She slipped me back into her, started to take me deep into her. I closed my eyes, fighting for breath as I started to drive into her. I felt her gag, she shifted slightly, pulled back a bit, but still took me, accepted each stroke, breasts jiggling slightly as she absorbed each thrust I gave her. She dug her nails into my thigh; I groaned, curled my fingers into her hair, started to push hard into her.

I could feel my belly tightening. I could feel my legs tensing. She could too, she increased her tempo, teasing me, taking me as deep as she could.

"Erika... Erika... I'm..."

And then my orgasm took me. I cried out, probably swore a little as arched up against her. She tongued me, teased me, held me tight until I stopped bucking. She made a noise, waited until my cock stopped pulsing in her, then let me go. She swallowed, coughed, staggered to her feet, and ran for her small bathroom with a hand clamped over her mouth.

I lay there, slick from her, feeling somewhat ashamed as I heard her muffled retching. There was a brief sound of running water as she rinsed her mouth out, and I heard her brushing her teeth.

She appeared in the doorway, and gave me a shamefaced smile.

"Sorry," we both said, at the same time. She started to giggle, and then slunk back over to the distressed mattress and tangled duvet on which she'd abandoned me.

She flopped down next to me, burrowed in again, and threw a possessive leg half over me, gently nudging my softening cock with it.

"I do not do that very much," she said. "It... well. You heard. I struggle. But... I wanted you in me."

"You didn't need to do that. Just so you know. I'd have understood."

"Was it good at least?"

"So good. So, so good."

"For me also."

I rolled onto my side, and she reached down between us. I shivered slightly as she stroked me, as she gently touched my glans.

"You are a nice size," she said, matter of fact. "Not too big. Not too small. I think I will enjoy you in me."

"I hope so," I breathed, staring into her eyes.

She flushed slightly more. "You are very gentle," she said, softly. "Please... do not change."

"How could I?" I answered her. I reached out, cupped her cheek. "I want to please you. I want to make you happy."

"You already do," she said, soft and low. Then she shivered, yawned and stretched. "I need a shower," she said. "Come."

.:.

"Sit there and watch," she instructed me. She pushed me down onto the toilet seat. "Sit. I need to clean myself. And you have earned the right to watch me."

She turned on the water in her small, low-budget shower, then turned to face me. I struggled to tear my gaze away from her breasts, but I managed. She waited for me to meet her gaze. Then she smiled, hooked her fingers into her underwear, and slowly pulled them down her slender, shapely legs.

"Jesus Christ."

"I like how appreciative you are of me," she said. "It makes me feel warm."

"You're a beautiful woman, Erika."

"It has been a long time since a man told me that."

"Well. This man thinks you're an angel."

"I'm no angel. Just a woman."

"I don't care."

She turned, smiled over her shoulder at me, and stepped under the water. "I have not felt like a woman for a long time, Danny. So... to feel like one again. You need to understand how special that is for me."

She poured a generous helping of soap into her hands, and lathered herself up.

"I think I'm too young for this channel," I said.

"What?"

"Watching you. It feels like I shouldn't be allowed."

"I allow you. I want you to see me. To know me. Inside and out."

"Oh, ditto, definitely."

She bent forward, picked up a razor. "I never used to be this bad," she said. "I always shaved."

"Shaved?"

"Yes. I always keep my legs smooth. I used to keep... other things."

"Yep. Definitely an age-restricted channel."

She laughed at me, and went to work.

I leaned back against the cistern, watching her, trying to capture the moment. She shaved herself carefully, rinsing the razor clean and collecting the hair. And of course, every so often she'd look up and smile at me, noting with approval the bulge in my boxers.

"You should just take those off, you know," she said eventually, with a grin.

"They're my armour."

"From what."

"From the urge to climb into that shower with you and... do things."

"Things?"

She leaned back against the wall, angling herself towards me. She reached down, spread herself slightly, and stood, taunting me. "Things like this, perhaps?"

"Jesus," I said, softly.

Erika grinned at me. "Take the boxers off, and let me admire you like you are admiring me."