Great White Dope

I watched him sign some papers. "I so order that the minors in question be placed in the male parents care until such time as the authorities feel they are able to enter WITSEC. Any contact with the mother is prohibited and shall be prohibited until determined by the same governing authorities, keeping the welfare of the minors as priority factor."

Ann was still struggling with the Deputy, when the Federal Magistrate stood up. "I deem these proceeding closed." and walked out.

I was still stunned by this turn of events that when T Bone came over to me I could barely speak. "T Bone, how did you pull that off!" It just hit me I would get to be with my kids full time. "You are the smartest man on earth."

T Bone shrugged. "Most people don't change. It was a matter of time before she did something stupid." He gave me a lopsided grin. "And for the record, anytime you think you are the smartest guy in the room, it's time to find a new room."

+++++

It like deja vu, the same juvenile room, same bed, same TV in the jail. Except this time I was now sitting on the chair with T Bone behind me, and Ann was sitting on the bed.

"It's not over, Randal." Ann spat at me. "You are not taking me away from my babies."

"You still looking to do that sandpaper thing on me? Wear me down?"

Ann just stared at me.

"The thing is Ann, that sandpaper can scratch, and rip and irritate. But after all that, the item is nice and polished, the sandpaper is worthless."

There was a long silence before Ann looked down at her hands. "I didn't know how it happened. I knew I was drinking too much, but I do not want to blame the booze. I was at the gas station filling up, when I came out after paying and my rear tire was flat. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just started crying."

Ann pushed the hair out of her eyes before speaking again. "That biker guy seemed to come out of nowhere. Turns out he is a cousin from my Mom's side. I knew him from my aunts wedding a long time ago. He just pushed my car off to the side, and changed the tire. I was so scared, but he just kept talking, the more he talked, the more at ease I felt. When he put his arm around me I did not stop him, it just felt so nice to finally have someone understand what I was going through." Ann brought her head up to look at me. "He declined the money I offered him, but said he would buy me a drink. Claimed I was in no shape to drive home, said a drink would calm me down. At first it was fun, sitting in the bar swapping old stories and catching up. Next thing you know I am being hustled out of my bed and my babies are being taken from me."

Ann looked at T Bone. "My own Government is trying to steal my children. What's the difference between you and them? Huh, what is the difference?"

T Bone cleared his throat. "Those people are greedy men, who have no feeling or respect for anyone or anything. They will destroy anything that gets in their way to get what they want." T Bone took a step forward before continuing. "WE work for the United States Federal Government."

Ann took a deep breath. "Randal, I swear it is all a big misunderstanding, one giant screw up." She reached out to touch my chest. "I need you to think, listen to your heart."

I removed Ann's hand from my shirt. "When I hear you speak Ann, all I can hear are banjos, and all I can think is 'paddle faster', get away."

++++

I finally got my boring life back. It was a strange road that gave me a new face, along with liposuction that got rid of my belly fat faster than any exercise. In a strange way to save government money I was thrown together with a Russian Mob widow during WITSEC orientation. She had lost both her children in a car bomb attempt and was missing her children badly. As a coincidence, my children were missing a Mom. It was a good fit, and somehow I saw T Bone's fingerprints all over that one.

I now live in a small southern town by the coast near the middle of nowhere with a new name. The boys also got to pick their own names. It took a while to dissuade them that being called 'Ironman' was not an acceptable moniker. We keep them busy, and they now rarely ask questions about their past.

T Bone did run for Governor, but lost in his first attempt. He is now an ambassador to some European country.

Ann and Dad? Marshals notified me that Dad passed away. Anything left in his will I had given to Charity. Turns out I was entitled to a portion of the unclaimed and seized funds from Operation 'Great White', not a zillion dollars, but enough for a boring lifestyle.

Ann still lives in the same town. You know how people talk in a small town, so she has not had an easy time of it. I send her pictures of the twins at Christmas through the US Marshal dead drop. When they are eighteen I will let them decide what they want to do.

For now I just want to enjoy being the dull boring guy I was meant to be. Right now we are planning a trip to Disneyland.

++++

Things like this never happen, right? Go 'google' TJ Brewer, an Undercover narcotics officer in Utah who caught his wife and father under similar circumstances.