Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 067

There was a roar, and then the wall cracked. Beth was knocked down as Tick Tock deflected another attack by the sword. When she pushed herself up, she saw that the painting was slowly scooting its way out of the vault, the cloth now off it completely.

She let out a primal scream of rage and stuck her hand into the black void beneath her. The hand grabbing her leg shifted to her wrist, but she yanked it out until it was visible, then bit into it.

It felt like cotton candy beneath her teeth, but this somehow worked. The hand let go of her and she was suddenly free. Scrambling to her feet, she moved away from the other shadows until she was near the freezer. She pulled it away from the wall and climbed on top.

A premonition of danger made her duck, and the sword sailed over her head. When it spun around to face her, she slid Tick Tock off her shoulders.

"Shield!" she cried, then closed her eyes. The weight on her arms shifted, and she opened her eyes in time to see that Tick Tock had become one. She also saw that Tick Tock had dropped the Grimoire by her knees.

"I don't understand," she said, then saw a pair of words written on the back of Tick Tock's shiny new body.

USE BOOK

The sword careened off of the mimic. Legs sprouted from the shield and Tick Tock shifted to intercept the next attack. Over by the door, the painting had flopped over, but it was still moving closer.

"Sure, fine, use a magic book with absolutely no experience." She opened the pages, only to discover that they were blank.

"Shit!" She flipped through the pages, surprised to see that there was nothing inside. "What do I do now?"

The whispering stopped. Beth looked up to see that the painting now faced her. Across its canvas surface, it had captured her terrified likeness perfectly as she sat atop the freezer.

"Ah, fuck bubbles."

The painting launched itself at her, and she slid off the freezer and opened the lid. The painting collided with the underside of the lid, and Beth shoved the freezer shut, trapping the painting inside with antique otter-pops and ground beef that likely hadn't seen daylight in decades.

When she climbed back onto the freezer, Tick Tock joined her. The painting tried to force the lid open, but the combined weight of Beth and Tick Tock held it shut. The shadows were closing in, however, and the sword was still moving around.

"One crisis down." Beth looked at the Vault's doorway. She could hear things moving around inside. "Any ideas on how to close that?"

Tick Tock shifted, revealing the same two words to her.

"It's blank, I—" She opened it again and the book flipped itself open to a specific page. The symbols inside swirled about as the book rewrote itself in English, revealing a diagram of an opening being sealed by stone.

"Huh. Okay then." She picked up the book, then moved behind Tick Tock just as the foil bounced off of it. The spell itself sounded like it allowed rock to melt. Was concrete a kind of rock?

The freezer shifted violently, and she almost fell off. One corner of it was now inside a floor shadow.

Oh for crying out loud. Beth ran her finger along with the text. Incantation? Check. Something about using her mind to shape intent? Okay. Does it require blood? Nope.

"Good enough for me." She held the book aloft and read the words. When it didn't work the first time, she grumbled and moved farther back along the lid as the freezer sank into the floor.

"C'mon, Beth," she whispered to herself, then glared at the Vault and said the incantation again. This time, she pictured the wall of concrete as if it was made of clay and wondered what it would feel like to smooth the whole thing over with her hand.

The freezer lurched and sank again. The edge of it caught on the ground.

Beth slammed the book shut, reached deep into her mind, then sang the words while stretching her hand toward the Vault door. For a moment, she felt her magic connect with the book and then the wall, so she swept her hand across the air. She pictured the palm of her hand moving across the concrete as if it were clay, smearing it out to cover the hole.

There was a grinding sound that filled the basement. She pointed her light at the Vault and saw that the wall had been smoothed over. There were still gaps in the stone, and she could hear things bouncing off the other side, but nothing else was coming out to get her.

"Yes!" She pumped the Grimoire in the air and the sword whipped by, slashing open her forearm from elbow to wrist.

Beth cried out in pain and tumbled off of the freezer. She let go of the flashlight, choosing to hold the Grimoire instead as she crashed into the floor. The flashlight spun in place, revealing that the sword was turning around to come at her again.

Tick Tock, who was on the floor now, stumbled to get up, then vanished inside one of the shadows. There was a shriek of rage, and the shadow exploded, sending the mimic clattering across the room. For just a brief instant, Beth saw dozens of bladed legs and hands withdrawing into the shield, but they were gone once she blinked.

When the sword came at her again, Beth used the Grimoire to deflect it into the wall. The invincible tome worked like a charm, though the impact knocked her back a little. When the sword pinged off the cold concrete, she grabbed it by the handle and felt an electric shock run through her body.

"I've lived with Quetzalli too long to give a shit," she mumbled, then stuck the blade into the closest shadow to her. A shadow hand grabbed it, then pulled it inside. The shadow quivered, then withdrew. The tip of the sword kept trying to emerge from the ground, but clearly, the shadows weren't picky about what they ate, aside from Tick Tock.

"Lily, are you about done?" she shouted, then looked at her arm. She was bleeding quite a bit.

There was a loud thud, then Lily's ass appeared out of the ground, her tail whipping around. Beth grabbed onto Lily's tail and pulled, grunting with exertion. The Grimoire nearly slipped out of her arms, so she pinned it against her chest with her bad arm.

Lily's tail whipped about, then pressed itself against Beth's mouth, forcing her lips open. Surprised, Beth froze in place as the glass vial was deposited in her mouth.

The succubus was pulled back into the floor, and Beth spat the vial into her bloody hand.

"Run!" Lily shouted through the wall. "I'll be fine, get that out of here!"

Beth knew better than to argue. She dashed across the basement and closed her eyes as she reached for Tick Tock. The mimic shifted into a messenger bag, and she stuffed the Grimoire and the vial inside as she stepped onto the stairs.

The infinite stairwell effect reappeared, but only in the downward direction. The door to the kitchen wasn't far, and Beth tripped at the top of the stairs and fell down.

"Help!" she shouted, then kicked the basement door shut. In a matter of moments, Cecilia phased through the wall, concern on her face. Death appeared shortly after, a mug of tea in his hands. On the mug was a picture of a cat hanging from a rope with the words "Hang in there, Kitty!" underneath.

"Evil spirits in the basement!" she cried as the basement door rattled. She planted her feet against it to hold it shut. "They have Lily!"

Death frowned. "Have is a relative term, Princess Bethany, and I must ask for clarification—"

"Bad! It's all bad!" Beth braced her feet against the hallway as the door opened an inch and a dark hand tried to slide free. The air filled with ominous whispering, meaning the painting was free.

Cecilia passed through the door and shrieked. The door rattled then stopped. Beth's ears were ringing, and she tried to stand but slipped in her own blood.

"Ah, geez." She scooted away from her own mess and stood with Death's help.

"I should perhaps assist Lady Cecilia. Excuse me." Death, still holding his teacup, opened the door of the basement. The sound of banshee screams filled the kitchen as he casually descended the stairs.

Beth listened as the air filled with unholy shrieks and screams. The walls of the house creaked and the floor vibrated beneath her feet. She used a towel to make a compress against her arm, hoping that the sword wouldn't give her tetanus.

Kisa checked in with her just long enough to hear the cacophony from below. She stayed long enough to close the basement door, then ran off to find a first-aid kit.

Beth moved to the table and sat with a groan. Her back hurt, and she was feeling dizzy. She lifted Tick Tock onto the table and used the mimic as a makeshift pillow.

"You didn't get hurt, did you?" She patted the bag. "Thanks for saving my life down there. I owe you one."

Tick Tock's zipper slid open and the vial popped out.

Beth picked up the vial and held it up. In the dim light of the kitchen, the crystalline structure was filled with tiny rainbows. It occurred to her that Lily had been attacked after retrieving the vial from its cage. Had the spirits in the basement been trying to get their hands on it?

There was a hair on the vial, so she tried to pluck it off. After several attempts to grab it, she realized that the hair seemed to be on the inside. Wondering how a hair got inside, she used the light on her phone to get a better look.

It wasn't a hair, but a thin crack. She watched in horror as a thin bead of black pressed through, then ran up the side of the vial toward her fingers.

"No no no no no!" She stood and ran for one of Death's teacups. When she placed the vial inside, it leaked but was fully contained. Letting out a sigh of relief, she set the cup down. The vial continued to fill the cup, and when it was half full, she frowned.

The vial shouldn't have that much ooze in it.

She grabbed a bowl and poured the ooze into it. It stuck to itself, leaving the coffee cup clean behind it. The bowl was filling itself when she found a pitcher to transfer it to, the vial somehow releasing far more of the tar-like substance than it had contained.

"Fuck fuck fuck..." she muttered in horror as she ran out of the kitchen holding the pitcher. Kisa was standing in the foyer when Beth ran past and up the stairs. The biggest vessel in the house was in Mike's bathroom, and Beth poured the pitcher into Naia's bath, hoping that the nymph would forgive her.

As she watched the tub fill itself with goo, she shook her head in disbelief as it continued to fill. Leaning over the ever-rising tide of black, she realized just how sleepy she suddenly was. Blood was running down her arm again, dripping bits of crimson into the inky depths of the ooze.

That can't be good. She let out a giggle, then felt gravity lose its grip on her as she tilted forward into the tub. She heard Kisa calling her name, but didn't have the strength to answer. The darkness was surprisingly warm, and all she wanted was to curl up and go to sleep in it.

In her semi-conscious state, she felt her magic rise up and surround her. Thousands of needles pierced her flesh, and then there was a bright green light.

"Beth!"

She felt the hard slap across her face, and opened her eyes to see Kisa sitting over her. Beth squinted, trying to will the world into focus, but she had lost too much blood.

"Hey." Her voice was slurred, and she felt like she was drunk.

"What the hell is that?" Kisa muttered in horror, her eyes on the tub. From where she was lying, Beth couldn't see anything.

"Is it Naia?" she asked. Her brain was faring no better than her body. "Did we beat the Apocalypse?

"I can't move you, hold on." Kisa dashed out of the bathroom, leaving Beth on the floor. It could have been seconds or hours, Beth had no way of knowing. She did, however, see a dark shape moving just below the edge of the tub.

A pair of hands appeared on the edge, and what looked like a head appeared.

"Peek-a-boo." Beth laughed when the tub monster dropped back down. It shifted about, making sloshing sounds as it moved to the far end of the tub and repeated the process. This time when it appeared, it looked like it almost had a face.

"You remind me of that fan in the basement," Beth declared with a giggle. A little voice in her head warned her that she was bordering on delirium, but what did she care? "Are you here to steal my face?"

The dark mass contemplated her, then began to brighten. The darkness seemed to burn away as a bright green light formed inside of the thing in the tub. Beth immediately felt a strange sort of synergy with it.

"Stay back!" Kisa shouted as she ran into the bathroom. She was surrounded by rats, and they all surrounded Beth and tried to drag her away.

The thing in the tub spilled over, turning briefly into flowing liquid as it scattered the rats and coated Beth's body. There was a sensation of warmth, followed by a tingling in her arm. She opened her mouth to breathe, but there was no air.

"No!" Kisa was screaming now, her voice muffled by the ooze that covered Beth.

They say that drowning isn't a bad way to go, Beth thought. But frankly, I prefer not to go at all.

Air suddenly flooded her lungs, and she gasped for air, her throat suddenly raw. Kisa, the hair on her body sticking out, knelt down by Beth.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "What just happened?"

"I don't know." Beth lifted her arm to look at it. The tingling sensation had passed, and the wound in her arm looked like it had scabbed over. When she touched the wound, she realized that it wasn't a scab, but some type of sticky residue. Most of the dizziness was gone now, but she still felt disoriented mentally.

The temperature in the room dropped, and Cecilia appeared, her hair floating wildly around her. Lily followed next, her face a mess of bloody scratches. Both of them stopped on the edge of the tile, disbelief on their faces.

"Lily!" Beth put her hand to her chest and sighed in relief. "You're okay!"

Lily opened her mouth as if to say something, then just shrugged. "I'm at a loss."

"What happened down there?"

Cecilia looked past Beth, then at her. "Um...it wasn't much I could help with. Kind of scary, actually, I didn't really know what was going on, so I just screamed a lot. My voice can disrupt spirits, so it weakened them."

Lily sneered. "Boogie men in the shadows, by the way. Same guys that grab your feet from under the bed, no idea why there were so many. Some type of Babylonian demon in the painting. An actual nightmare of Shadow People. Yes, that is what I'm calling a group of those bastards. Have only seen one or two at a time ever. There were almost twenty of them, trans-dimensional pricks!" Lily actually spat on the floor. "Those things were actually locked up somewhere in the Vault, and someone or something let them out. We need to talk to Romeo about the shit in that room when he gets back, there's no reason half of that stuff even needs to exist."

"What happened, how did you win?"

Cecilia looked at Lily, then laughed. "One of the Shadow People broke Death's teacup. It was apparently one of his favorites."

"Shadow People aren't souls or spirits like you know them. His scythe didn't send them to the Underworld, it actually carved through them." Lily winced. "I'm fairly certain that he sent them to the Void. Utter oblivion."

"And they deserved it!" Death stormed in through the door, his eyes blazing. He still carried his scythe, which gleamed with its own supernatural aura.

"Sorry about your mug," Beth offered.

"Indeed." Death frowned. "I regret to inform you that the kitty from my mug is no longer hanging on. Though it was an old mug, I doubt that cat is even alive anymore." He turned his attention to the tub and let out a gasp. "I was unaware we had company! Where are my manners, I must look a fright!"

He tapped the butt of his scythe on the ground, then folded it into his robes. Beth watched him as he walked past her and sat on the edge of the tub.

"I am the Grim Reaper," he said, extending a bony hand. "Though you may call me Death. You look familiar, but I don't think we've ever met."

A translucent hand the color of emeralds appeared and shook Death's hand. The figure in the tub sat up, revealing hair that literally flowed around a feminine body. At first, Beth thought she was looking at Naia in her water form, but there were too many differences.

For one, the being wasn't made of water. It was a viscous fluid that rippled with every movement and made a sloshing sound. It was also feminine, and when it turned to face Beth, she gasped.

The mysterious creature in the tub looked almost exactly like her.

"What...how..." Beth sputtered for a few more seconds, then grabbed her face to make sure it hadn't, in fact, been stolen. Why did this thing look like her? It clicked that she was looking at the ooze that she had dumped in the tub, but it was a different color now and had taken on a human form. Her form.

The ooze turned toward Beth and moved its hands. Beth immediately recognized the movements as American Sign Language.

I'm just as surprised as you are, replied the ooze.

Mike had promised Dana twenty minutes, but it was a couple of hours before he and Velvet climbed out of the hot springs. His legs were weak beneath him, but he eventually got his footing and dried off with some towels that Velvet pulled from a nearby hut. She explained that her father had built it.

Once they were dry and properly attired, Velvet led him back up to the top of the ridge. They walked largely in silence. Velvet seemed to be deep in thought, and Mike's attempts to start a conversation yielded very little. The only talking he heard was the spiders around them that chattered incessantly to themselves.

Undeterred, he took Velvet by the hand. A thick bloom of red crossed her cheeks, and she smiled dreamily as they walked the rest of the way back.

What had happened to the two of them back there, Mike wondered. The intense feelings of longing had diminished, but it had almost felt like his magic had activated early. It wasn't something he could explain, as he was still writing the user manual on his own magic. Even now, the intense attraction he had originally felt for Velvet lingered.

Was it infatuation? A crush of sorts? It was unusual to contemplate feeling romantically inclined when he was surrounded by so many different women that he had sex with. Somehow, Velvet was amplifying those feelings of attraction to the point that he was already placing her above the others in his heart. He was already picturing those sweet moments of bliss with her in the spring, though the memories were so fresh.

It troubled him. He loved each of the women for different reasons, and the idea that he would suddenly like one above the others didn't sit well at all. What if Velvet wanted to be exclusive? Could he even say no?

These thoughts swirled through his head, and all he would ever remember from that walk would be the feel of her hand in his and the way the light bent through her auburn locks, giving her a halo.

Once the cabin was in sight, he knew that something was wrong. Dana was lying outside the cabin in her underwear while Yuki and Quetzalli stood by in concern.

"Dana?" He let go of Velvet's hand and ran the rest of the way.

"Stay back!" Yuki cast a small wall of ice between them. Mike slid to a stop, his hands on top of the ice.

"What's wrong?" He looked down at Dana, who was groaning and holding her stomach.

"We're not sure," Yuki replied. "But she may bite you."

"Bite me?" Mike looked over at Dana. Quetzalli was using a shovel to cover the zombie's limbs in snow. "What happened?"

"Bad...reaction." Dana looked up at Mike and coughed. "After eating my meal, I briefly..." Her eyes widened and she snarled, then lifted her hands. Shackles made of ice shattered, but were grabbed by more.