How Much Love?

"So what do you do for fun Rob?" she asked.

"I wash my car, and go to car shows and work on it," he said.

They spent another half hour or so talking before Rob took her back to her car. She drove home and immediately called Cheryl.

Connie gave Cheryl all of the details. Cheryl's heart broke again when she heard that Rob knew about all of the men she'd been with. Even though it had only happened three times, the recounting of each of her encounters from his perspective was like someone took a knife and stabbed her with it.

When she heard that he'd pretended to be sick to avoid having sex with her she cried and felt sick about what she'd done all over again. When Connie recounted to her the details from Rob's perspective of the encounter that led to him walking out, she actually vomited.

She imagined herself as him watching Greg trying to impregnate her even though that wasn't likely and she wanted to die.

"Didn't you tell him that I didn't enjoy the sex with Greg or any of them and I was just saying those things to get him finished?" she asked.

"I don't think he'd have believed me," said Connie.

"So my husband really believes that I don't love him and I preferred other men to him?" asked Cheryl. "He must be a fool. I've never loved anyone except for him. I respected my parents but I never felt the way about them that I feel about him. He's out of his fucking mind. You have to tell him the truth, Connie. You have to tell him why I did those awful things," said Cheryl.

"Cheryl, you have to give this some time," said Connie. "You have to give him time to let the pain lessen before you can try to change his mind."

Over the next few weeks Connie and Rob spoke often. At first she'd call him on the phone and they'd talk for a few minutes. Over time the conversations got longer and Rob started calling her as well. Then they started meeting and going for rides. It got to the point where he told her everything. Connie didn't push on the Cheryl issue. She often told him that Cheryl still loved him, but he brushed it off.

Connie also gave Cheryl full reports on her conversations with Rob. Sometimes Connie even taped the conversations and let Cheryl listen to them just to hear the sound of her husband's voice. Cheryl still considered Rob to be her husband. She'd given him the divorce not because it would stop them from being married in her eyes but because it was something he wanted and she legally couldn't fight.

Then a few weeks later Cheryl came up with the idea of three way calling. She decided to try it. She loved hearing Rob's voice when Connie taped their calls. She wanted so badly to hear his voice live even if it was only over the phone. She was also suspicious and afraid. She'd noticed over time that Rob's voice was excited and alive when he and Connie were just talking about things. He often took her to car shows or movies and they went to the lake and talked a lot. But she noticed that whenever they talked about Cheryl, Rob's voice was flat and tight. He changed the subject quickly. She'd also noticed that when she and Connie had talked about a recent trip to the lake where they'd actually swam. Connie's nipples had hardened noticeably when she talked about Rob.

So Connie called Cheryl, and then added Rob to the conversation. Rob had no idea that Cheryl was also on the line. He excitedly told Connie about his road trip to Michigan for a car show over the past weekend. He'd gone to a show called Mustang Memories that was only for Mustangs and other Ford vehicles. While he was there he'd seen a woman who he thought was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had reddish hair and drove a Grabber orange Mustang with green trim. She was so pretty that he'd begun to think about trying to meet her but had chickened out. Connie noticed that Cheryl had muted her line and then hung up.

She told Rob she had an emergency and she'd call him back. Her reaction was for two reasons. First she was afraid for Cheryl and secondly because Cheryl had been right Connie had been falling for Rob herself. Neither of them needed some Muscle car floozy to interfere with their plans for Rob.

She called Cheryl back and tried to calm the hysterical woman down.

Connie dialed Cheryl's number but the phone just rang and rang. Connie had a bad feeling about it. Finally after getting no answer she called Rob back. He was still happy and ready to talk about what he'd done at the car show last weekend.

As they spoke Rob talked about all of the Mustangs he'd seen at the show, special editions and all of the different years and models that had been there. Connie hated to interrupt him when he was this happy but she was dying to hear more about this woman. As Rob talked Connie felt bad. If she had to define her feelings more accurately it was probably fear. Things had been going just the way she wanted them to.

Now some mystery woman shows up and fucks it all up. Just a few days before he'd gone to that damned car show he'd taken her to the lake for an all day picnic. They'd swam, grilled food together, talked and even built a fire and lay on a blanket together to watch the stars as the sun went down. It was the best date she'd ever had. He'd asked lots of questions about her too. Connie had gone out with lots of guys but not one of them had made her feel the way he had.

Even the questions he asked were different. The questions most guys asked, she'd gotten used to. "Are those real?" or "What size are they?" or "Do those legs open easily?" Rob asked her questions about her dreams and things she'd like to do. He listened to her answers and asked more questions. He really seemed interested in finding out more about her, not just trying to feign interest to get into her pants.

They'd long since passed the point where all he had to do is make a move and she'd fuck him on demand. She had no intention of lying to herself, she wanted him and badly. But she was willing to wait because she wanted something special from Rob not just another fuck.

She knew that she was walking a very fine line between two people. Rob on one side and Cheryl on the other. She actually had to choose between two things that she'd never really had. She'd never really had a close female friend because women could be extremely jealous of each other. Especially when dealing with a woman who attracted men the way Connie did.

She'd also never had a serious relationship with a man. She'd had lots of lovers, boyfriends and affairs, but no potential lifetime relationships. Connie knew that she couldn't have both. If she got Rob, she'd lose the friendship with Connie. And being a true friend to Connie meant that she wouldn't get Rob.

As Rob was droning on in the background about Eleanor special editions, Connie heard a knock at her backdoor. She wondered who'd be coming to her house in the middle of the night on a Thursday?

She looked out the peephole and was relieved it was Cheryl. Connie told Rob to hang on for a second and let Cheryl in. Cheryl looked like hell. She'd been crying again and her eyes were red and her short hair was all over her face. Cheryl hadn't taken the time to even look at the clothes she put on. She had a tennis shoe on one foot and a sandal on the other. She had on shorts and had pulled a coat on but was only in her bra under the coat.

Connie stuck a finger to her lips for silence and put her phone on speaker. Rob continued from where he left off gushing about cars. Connie slowly started leading him into talking about the woman. First when he'd bring up a car he wanted to talk about, she'd ask him what color it was. Then she started to ask about certain colors of the cars he'd seen. Then she finally started to ask about orange cars and he brought up the grabber orange Mustang with the green trim.

He spent far more time talking about the car than the woman, so in Connie's mind things weren't too serious. She started asking him general questions about the woman, like what color her eyes were or what her voice sounded like.

Rob then reminded her that he hadn't actually met the woman. He'd just seen her at the show. Both Connie and Cheryl smiled at that. They had both freaked out for nothing. It was just some nameless woman two states away from them. He'd probably never see her again.

Connie asked him why he hadn't gone over and introduced himself. Rob started acting like a teenager. He told her he'd be too nervous to go up to someone like that. Or he didn't think she'd like him. And he wondered what interest someone so pretty could have in a normal guy like him. By the time they changed the subject both Connie and Cheryl were greatly relieved.

Then Connie found out that Rob actually hadn't dated anyone since he left Cheryl. But he told her that it was probably time that he did. He didn't trust women at all except for Connie and his mom, but if he didn't want to be alone for his whole life, he'd better try to meet someone.

"Maybe you've already met her and just need to let her know you're interested," said Connie. Cheryl's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Maybe all you have to do is go after her. Rob there are two ways you can handle this. You can either tell this woman you're interested in her, in which case she'll either tell you she's not interest in you, or maybe she'll go out with you. Or you can just sit there on the sideline of life wondering and dreaming about what could have been if only you'd found the guts to go after what you want."

Cheryl looked like she was about to bust a gut. She pointed at the phone repeatedly. "I'll call you back in a little bit, Rob," said Connie.

"I can't believe you, you fucking bitch," snapped Cheryl. She was on the verge of both violence and tears.

"What are you talking about?" asked Connie innocently.

"You want my husband for yourself, don't you?" asked Cheryl.

"Well...I..." began Connie.

"Well, hell bitch," snapped Cheryl. "I can't believe I trusted you. I thought you were my friend."

"I am your God damned friend," said Connie. "For weeks now I've been the shoulder you whined on. I've wiped the snot from your nose when you cry. But I'm human, and he really is a great guy. I have not made one single move on him or tried to make him like me at all. I'm trying my ass off to get the two of you back together, but if things don't work out for you, why shouldn't I get a shot at him?"

"Because as my friend you should know that I will never give up trying to get him back. No matter what happens. If our plan doesn't work, I'll try something else. If he moves, I'll try my hardest to find him, and I'll wait for him to come back forever. I literally mean forever. I screwed up once, it will not happen again. If he married you, I would sit back in my room and wait for you to die. I wouldn't try to have you killed or poison you. But I might just buy a Connie voodoo doll and spend a few minutes every day sticking pins in it and slamming its head against the wall. And I'd stay friends with you too."

"You would?" asked Connie. "Why?"

"Because every time I came over to visit you, I'd get to see him. And I'd drop little hints that he could have me whenever he wanted. And if you ever cheated on him or even hugged another man, I'd let him know instantly, and be there to pick up the pieces," said Cheryl.

"What if he cheated on me?" asked Connie.

"I wouldn't care," said Cheryl viciously. "Either I'd be the one he cheated with, or I'd hope you guys would get a divorce, so either way I'd win. In the end Rob and I will be back together, no matter what."

Before Connie could react to Cheryl's rant, the phone rang again.

"We're not done talking let it go to voicemail," said Cheryl icily.

After a few rings, they heard Rob leave a message.

"Connie, don't be angry at me, but I thought about what you said," they heard Rob say. "I've decided that you're right. I have to go for it. If I want to be happy I have to take the risk. I can't go to the lake with you Saturday. There's another car show in Michigan and I'm going after that Redhead. I'm going to take tomorrow off and drive over to Michigan tonight so I can get my car ready for the show. Maybe if things go well, I'll move there. Thanks for the advice. You're a great friend. I'll call you when I get back."

As Rob hung up the phone Cheryl nearly collapsed. "Now you've done it you stupid bitch. Both of us are going to lose him. He was all set to forget about her, until you filled his head up with your crap about going for it and taking a risk. I hate you." Cheryl got up off the floor and left Connie's house. She Got into her car and nearly crashed into a tree backing out of Connie's driveway. She took off driving unsteadily down the road with her tires screeching.

Connie was in shock. She couldn't believe that she'd convinced Rob to try and meet a woman. She was sure he wasn't ready for that and had hoped that when he was, she'd be that woman. All she'd done by being his friend was to set him up for this new woman.

She doubted that Rob would have sex with the woman this weekend, so when he got back, she'd have to start playing hardball.

If Rob was healed enough to start looking for women, he was healed enough to start seeing them. Connie intended to make sure he noticed what she had to offer. No matter what Cheryl thought about it.

As Connie closed her door she heard a loud crash. It sounded as if it was only a block or two away. She had a bad feeling about the sound. She grabbed her cell phone off of the table and ran out the door.

Rob's cell phone started ringing as he drove down the highway. He decided to just let it ring; it would go to voicemail after few rings. He hated talking on the phone while he drove anyway. Driving was a special time for him, just him, his beloved car and the road. Rob liked to drive fast so he had to constantly be on watch for speed traps and cop cars.

The God damned phone refused to stop ringing. He picked it up from the cup holder and looked at the iPhone's screen. It was Connie.

Shit, he'd told her that he'd call her when he got back. He decided to answer it.

"What!" he snapped.

"Rob, are you already on the road?" asked Connie ignoring his rudeness.

"Yes I am," he said. The tension in his voice conveyed his obvious anger.

"Well, you need to get your ass back here right now," she said. "I don't know how to tell you this, but Cheryl wrecked her car. She's hurt pretty bad and is in the h..."

Connie heard a big clunk sound as if Rob had dropped the phone then she heard the sound of tires shrieking.

"I'm on my way," Rob said. "Which hospital is she in?"

A half hour later, Rob stormed into the visitor's lounge. Connie saw him and ran over to him and hugged him. Rob asked her "What happened? How bad is it? Where is she?"

"She's still in surgery Rob," said Connie. Rob looked stricken.

They're putting a pin in her right ankle, to hold it together. Her right leg is broken in two places. Her left leg and left arm are also broken. She has a big bruise on her head and hasn't regained consciousness yet. They're worried about a concussion or worse. According to the doctors even if there's no brain damage it's going to be at least a couple of months of recovery time."

Rob closed his eyes and shook his head.

"She drove off really pissed off and depressed Rob. She was driving recklessly but that wasn't the problem. She forgot to turn her lights on. A car coming to the intersection didn't see her without her lights and plowed right into her. It was only an accident."

"What the hell did she have to be so upset about?" he asked.

Rob was pacing back and forth across the floor. Connie looked at him. "What the hell is wrong with her? How can she be so careless?" he yelled. "Please God let her be okay."

"Why would she do something that stupid?" Rob asked.

Connie stepped in front of Rob blocking his path. "Rob I can answer your questions," she said. "But you're not going to like hearing it or believe it. The reason she was so upset was because of you. Whether you want to believe it or not. That woman still loves you. She was upset beyond reasoning because you wanted to go off to some other state chasing another woman."

Rob seemed shocked. It was as if the possibility that Cheryl still felt something for him just refused to register.

"Connie," said Rob. "Until she's okay, let's just agree not to talk about any of that stuff. Can we just concentrate on doing the best we can to make sure she's okay. Then we can assign blame and apologies."

They waited for a long time. At first they thought that the doctors had forgotten them. The surgeries took over four hours. It was almost morning when a doctor came in and spoke to them.

He told them that she'd been moved to a room on the third floor and was resting comfortably.

"Can we see her?" asked Connie.

"Sure," said the doctor, but she hasn't regained consciousness yet.

Rob and Connie sat in the hospital room and watched Cheryl for another few hours. This time it was Connie doing the pacing while Rob sat right next to Cheryl's sleeping form and held her hand.

Connie left at 8 a.m. and promised to come back later when she'd had a chance to sleep and change clothes. Rob just nodded as she left.

When he was alone with Cheryl, Rob felt worse. He didn't know if he was somehow responsible for her accident. After pacing the floor for a while he just started talking.

"God I hope you come out of this okay. I don't know what I'd do if something took you away. I loved you so much Cheryl. I don't know how we got to the place we're in right now, but I wish I had a do over button so we could go back and have this not happen. I don't mean just your stupid accident. I mean the whole last year. I wish we could go back to before you stopped loving me, when we were happy. Maybe I could have been smarter or tried harder to keep you. We'd probably be parents with a baby by now."

Rob thought he saw her move but then he realized that it was only a reflexive jerk in reaction to something she was probably dreaming about.

"This really sucks," he began again. "You're all banged up and we don't know whether or not you'll even wake up or when. I'm really messed up too. I don't care about anyone or anything. I had a dream the other night Cheryl. Another nightmare. Well a different nightmare anyway, it wasn't the usual one where I see you and that guy in our bed. In this one it was all about me. I grew older alone and became a bitter angry old man."

"I guess that was why I decided to follow Connie's advice and try to find life again. I don't want to end up a bitter lonely old coot, so I have to find someone that I can live my life out with, and be happy with, Cheryl. I know you don't love me the way I loved you. You probably never did, but Cheryl right now my insides hurt. I feel all hollow and I don't want to go through life that way. I want to feel alive again and like I matter to someone. And yep I still want to be a dad and a great one. So maybe we won't have those things, but I want to have them with someone."

"The doctors don't know why you haven't awakened yet. They did all kinds of tests and say there's nothing they can find that's wrong with your brain, but it might not show up until later. So just in case you don't make it through this I want you to know that you were one loved woman. For almost fifteen years, nearly sixteen if you factor in the time before we got married, I loved you like there was no tomorrow. You were the most beautiful thing in the world to me. It's hard for me to think that I'll never talk to you or hold you or kiss you again."

Rob leaned over and kissed Cheryl lightly on her forehead. Her heartbeat sped up on the monitors. A nurse that was watching Cheryl's vital signs made a note about it on her chart.

Two other people noticed it as well. Connie who'd been back for a few minutes and had listened to Rob talking and saw him kiss her was the first.