I Love You, Too

*************

Jim and Annie showed up around seven in morning. It was a Saturday. Annie was certainly happy to see me. Jim smiled and said he was glad I chose to keep thing together. He said we would be going on a trip and it would take ten hours or so to get where we were going.

Jim and I didn't speak much on the way. He told me we were heading to a place just south of Deluth.

After we left the expressway and the state roads the pavement soon ran out. We drove through a labyrinth of county roads until we went down a long dirt lane. At the end was a farmhouse. It was old yet not in that bad of shape. In the front lawn was a huge oak tree and under one of its gigantic limbs was a tire swing. Annie squealed with delight when she saw it. I guess what eight year old wouldn't?

When we got out of the car I looked around while Annie ran toward the tire swing.

"What's this place?" I asked.

"Our new home."

"You can't be serious?"

"Most serious. We're away from Chicago. Annie will be going to a public school. Right across that field is another house. They have kids her age."

He offered me his hand. "Please..." Jim said.

I held his hand as we walked toward the house. Inside it was small, but yet had a cozy kind of feel to it. The house had a nice big picture window that looked out toward the road.

"This is ours," Jim began, "There are twenty-five acres give or take. There's a small creek on the one end. The place has an orchard. I was told the previous owners grew plants for sale. Laura, this is our home."

"I don't know about this," I said as I looked around the house.

"Come with me," he said.

I followed Jim out the back door and into the orchard. There were probably a hundred trees in somewhat sad shape. We walked through them, and once on the opposite end Jim stopped and pulled out a piece of paper.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Our agreement."

"Agreement for what?"

"It's between you and me. It's about our future together."

He handed me the paper and I looked it over. It consisted of no more than two sentences.

"Read it," Jim said.

"It says that I Laura Prescot promise to do whatever it takes to make my marriage to Jim Prescot a good one."

"And."

"I Laura Prescot will let my hair grow."

I looked at him and said, "You're kidding right? You put that on paper?"

"You're the lawyer. I figure it would be binding when you sign it."

"You're serious aren't you?"

"Big time serious."

"Define long?"

"To your breasts."

Jim has always been a sucker for girls with long, dark, flowing hair, especially my hair. The kind of hair you can't get your hand out of. The kind of hair that blows carelessly in the wind on mountaintops and empty beaches at sunset. The kind of hair that falls in thick twisting tangles across the pillow, then drifts over the side of the bed like a dusky eternity. The type of hair that forms the perfect curtain for dancing green eyes to hide behind and peek out of, begging his eyes to come searching for them in that dark and delicious jungle. That's my Jim. He told me my deep green eyes, like the sea after a storm, held him prisoner. For a second, I shuddered inside.

"You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm absolutely serious. This is a deal breaker for me. If you don't want to agree, then that's cool, and we're done here. Tomorrow I'll take you back to Chicago. Annie and I will stay here in Wisconsin."

"Okay, I'll do it. I'll let my hair grow out."

A smile flashed across his face.

There was a kind of silence that surrounded us as big fluffy clouds passed overhead. I could tell Jim had more on his mind. Jim kicked a few dried clods of dirt about with his foot.

"While you were in the hospital after your heart attack, I talked to Shelly. She told me I could do better. Much better."

"Why would she say that?"

"She said I was a good man. I strayed once and I admitted it and asked for forgiveness. It wasn't my fault that you got raped. I can't fix that. That being said, I'd like sex with my wife once in a while."

"You don't have a clue what it feels like to be violated like that. I can't feel love in a sexual way anymore, not even with you.

"We could at least try. I'm not asking for much."

Jim was right. He wasn't asking for hardly anything. I own my problem. Between Toby and my mother...

"Okay. Okay, I'll try." I looked at the paper in my hand, and I shook my head. "Are you serious about my hair?" I looked over at Jim and he didn't say a word. Nothing I could say would make him change his mind.

"Do you have a pen?" I asked.

He handed me one and turned his back so I could sign the paper.

*****Chapter Six********

It was the second week of April when we got the last of our stuff into the farmhouse. I didn't have the maids or the gardeners anymore. I had to do the work. I had to cook the food. Jim found the orchard fascinating while Annie quickly became the neighbor's daughter's best friend. For once in my life, things were looking up.

**********

We had an early frost, and I remembered it was a few days before Halloween, when I got up one morning to get dressed. I slipped on a pair of jeans and when I let go of them, they fell to the floor and pooled around my feet. When I pulled them back up, I had several inches of slack in the waistband. I ran to the bathroom and stood on the scales in the nude. Damn! It seemed out of nowhere I somehow managed to drop thirty pounds in a bit over seven months. When I went back to my bedroom, I dug around inside the closet and pulled out a brand new pair of jean I had purchased years ago. I pulled them on and whoa! I could snap them closed. I couldn't wait to show Jim.

But... when I put on my bra, damn, my tits must have shrunk too. I peeked down into the cups of the bra and noticed that they weren't even close to holding me. I shook it off and raided the chest of draws for a new one. This one fit, but apparently those thirty pounds came from my waist and my boobs. I remembered how back in our college days how Jim would play with my breasts. Jim was without a doubt a tit man. What's he going to think now that they've shrunk? Then again, it's been years since he's seen me in the nude.

When I came out of the house, I noticed Jim and Annie at the corner of the garden with a fire going burning the plants that the frost killed. I rushed over to him.

"Do you notice something?" I asked.

Jim grinned. "Yup, sure do. I was going to say something about it." He looked at Annie and said, "Take your mother back to the house and get the pants and underwear and other things that are too big for her and bring them out here."

Annie grabbed my hand and we went back to the house. Annie helped me look at the tags on my jeans and shirts. My daughter went through my drawer of bras and tossed all the oversized ones into a plastic bag. She took my hand and we went back outside to the fire with Jim standing beside me.

Then he began to toss my jeans and bras into the fire. "If you keep your big clothing, you'll slide back into them. This way there is no going back."

In a strange way watching those items of clothing burn gave me a nice warm feeling. Jim put his arm around my waist. I turned toward him and placed my hand over his heart.

He lowered his lips to my ear. "Maybe tonight?"

"Okay."

***********

That night after Annie went to bed, Jim came to me. I had him turn all the lights off except for one down the hallway where tiny fingers of yellow light filled one end of our bedroom.

He tried to put his penis into me, but I was too dry. We ended up using some lubricant and at last I felt him enter me. In the dark room, he didn't know I had my eyes closed as tightly as possible. I heard my mother's voice telling me only bad girls have sex for no reason at all.

Jim's thrusts shook the bed and I let out a moan or two for his benefit. God, why won't he hurry it up and get done with the chore. A few minutes later his body shook and I heard him call my name. I felt his cock jerk inside me as his warm come filled my vagina.

I rolled over and faced the wall.

"Thanks babe, " he said.

Then he touched my shoulder and in a flash he had the tops of my PJs over my head. His fingers began to cup my breasts.

Out of nowhere I placed my arms around his neck. Though tears I said, "I'll get him out of my head!"

Jim kissed my breasts and held me in his arms. I felt so safe and so warm. Why can't I escape and let Jim be the husband he wants to be?

*****Chapter Seven********

It's funny how times flies. It's been over a year since we moved out here to this farm. Jim had been busy working in the orchard, and when he's not, he's on a video link working with companies trying to fix their problems.

Jim installed a porch swing the first week after we moved in for us to sit on and talk. That was a big deal with him. He wanted conversation. It could be about anything, but he required that to function. So, for hours at a time I'd sit with him as he described how a particular problem had him up against a wall and what he was doing to fix it. I'd insert a 'hum' or a, 'ahah' every so often.

I had lost more weight and much to Jim's delight, my hair had at last reached my shoulders. I guess loosing the weight was easier than I had ever planned. Having the nearest fast food place thirty miles one way certainly cut down on me buying from the value menu. With no cleaning staff, I had to do all the work. I helped out in the orchard with Jim and the pounds came off. I decided if I had to be the cook, my family and I were going to eat better. Jim lost some twenty pounds too, and damn he's looking good.

**********

One day it had rained something awful and the orchard was too wet to work in. Annie was at the neighbors. Jim was in the kitchen trying to figure out how to put square tile down on a crooked floor. I came in and leaned on the doorjamb.

"So how's it coming?"

"It's not." Jim said while he sat on the floor with an open box of tile nearby.

Jim looked up at me. "You look good."

I didn't know why he said that. All I had on were a pair of blue gym shorts, knee-high socks and a white shirt. It certainly wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

Jim stood and came over to me. I took a few steps backwards when I ran into the wall. With the back of his hand he brushed against my shirt. I felt my nipples react to his touch.

"What are you doing, Jim?"

All of a sudden he snatched me off my feet and placed me on the kitchen table. Stray tiles crashed onto the floor. He yanked my shoes off and in one quick motion pulled my shorts and panties off. He threw them over my head. I watched as he looked down at my pussy.

His belt buckle rattled and within seconds his pants were down to his shoes. I froze for a moment as I watched his penis grow hard.

Jim leaned in and then suddenly he pulled back. He reached down and began to pull his pants up.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You'll say I raped you."

"I won't. Put your cock in me." Jesus! Did that come out of my mouth?

God what did I say? Jim's pants fell to the floor once more and I felt the end of his dick probe between my legs. To both my surprise and delight, Jim slipped into me.

Jim's thrusts were hard and quick. He had my legs over his shoulders. He gripped me by my thighs and held me in place.

"Show me your tits!" he barked.

As quickly as possible I opened my shirt and slipped my bra straps down my shoulders. I lowered my bra, and his eyes locked onto my tits.

Then bang! I felt his cum fill me. Thirty seconds later he pulled his come covered cock out from my pussy. I've never seen that before and I watched in amazement as thin strings of cum dripped from his dick and onto the floor.

My feet hit the floor and I went to the sink. I ran some warm water onto a washcloth and cleaned the long trail of come from the inside of my thigh. I looked over at Jim and he still had his pants down. His cock had become flaccid. Jim tried to catch his breath.

"I shouldn't have done that. But you looked so damn good."

"Did I?"

"Jesus, of course you looked good. Would you do something for me?" Jim asked.

"That depends."

"Would you consider going commando the rest of the day? Annie is not here."

"You want me to go without panties?"

"Yeah..."

The idea of not wearing panties didn't set with me. I could hear my mother's voice in my head say, 'Bad girls don't wear panties'

"I'll make you a deal."

I made a dash back to our bedroom and hidden deep in the back I pulled out a thong. I purchased several as a dare years ago and never had the nerve to throw them out. I came back to the kitchen, and showed Jim the thong. He smiled at me.

"How about this?" I asked as I stretched out the material in front of him.

"Okay," he said.

I slipped them up my waist. There wasn't much to them and they didn't cover much.

"Bra less, too?"

"You're getting rather picky here, but okay this time only."

I took the washcloth and began to clean my husband's dick. He lean his head back and placed his elbows on the counter top, and I could tell how much he enjoyed what I was doing to him. I felt him twitch.

"So what would happen if I were to continue this?" I asked.

"Why don't you find out?"

So there I was, wearing nothing by a tiny thong panty and in my knee high socks, with my husband's cock covered by a warm washcloth.

Slowly, Jim's cock hardened in my hand. I looked down at his member and out of the blue I recalled the words of my mother. 'You don't touch a man's private parts.'

I dropped the cloth and ran out of the room. A minute later, Jim came in with my clothing. He turned his back while I redressed.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"So am I, so am I."

Jim looked so damn disgusted with me and said, "Laura, if you don't let the past go, we'll never be able to move forward."

************

After that afternoon, once in a great while we would have sex. If that's what you were to call it. Mostly it was me lying there while Jim did all the work. If he busted his nut in three minutes, that was fine with me.

I knew Jim wasn't happy with me and the way I treated him. It took a toll on us, and it was my fault.

So one night after Annie was asleep Jim and I sat on the swing.

"This isn't working," he said.

"I know."

"We're in the prime of our lives. We should have sex and not what we're doing. It really takes two people to enjoy a healthy sexual life. We should be happy and neither one of us is."

"I know."

"What are we going to do?" Jim asked.

"Perhaps this experiment is over?" I asked.

"You want to go forward with the divorce?"

"I didn't say that."

"That's what it sounded like to me."

"I have been trying. I let my hair grow long for you. We're doing better than we were. How many times do I have to tell you, every time we try... I don't enjoy it."

"It's because of all that stuff you're holding inside you. That's what Shelly told us. You need to let it go. Get it out of your head."

I palmed tears from my cheeks. "How am I supposed to do that?"

Jim didn't say a thing for the longest time. All we heard was the swing creak as it slowly moved back and forth.

At last Jim said, "I want a date night with you. I guess what I'd like is eight hours of unbridled sex with you. I'd like to do anything and everything to your body. I don't want to be told no. I don't want you to turn away. I want no restrictions, no boundaries."

"Anything?" I asked.

"Anything."

"And if I don't go along?"

"I'm tired of asking. Tired of taking the blame. I wasn't the one who raped you, yet I may as well have been that guy."

The card had been drawn. "Okay I agree. Annie can stay the night with her friend."

"No. It's not going to be here. I'll make the arrangements."

This was shit and get time. Jim and I have a much better relationship, but it's like sand in the bearings. It's on me for sure. Shelly told me time and again I needed to step up to the plate and take control of my life. Live my life and not the one my mother wants me to live.

My only worry I have now is did I wait too long?

I let out a sigh. "Okay. It's a deal. What do you want to do to me?"

Jim pulled the hair clip from behind my head to free my hair. He pulled it over my shoulders and down the front of my shirt. He wiggled his fingers through the strands and un-button me. The next thing I knew he had worked his hands inside my shirt's sleeves and pulled my bra straps down my arms. Jim lowered my bra and his hand encircled my left breast. I closed my eyes as he told me his fantasies.

*****Chapter Eight********

Jim had booked us a room on the twelfth floor at the Langham in downtown Chicago. Annie would be staying with Jim's parents while he and I would have our special date night. I was excited and scared at the same time. I had agreed to whatever Jim fancied. I would do whatever he wanted me to do without question. There would be no boundaries. Everything was on the table. That's what I kept telling myself. In the back of my mind I was scared to the bone. What if Jim had plans to do anal on me? How would I react if he rolls me over and begins to probe between my cheeks with his cock? Would all those memories I have come rushing back?

All I knew was what he told me that night out on the porch. How he wanted to subdue me, and once back in our room he was going to come on my breasts and thighs. I snickered to myself as we drove along. I wondered where he came up with that idea.

***********

It has been three years since I left the hospital when Jim, me and Annie moved to the farm in Wisconsin. Those past three years I've lost over a hundred pounds. My hair now covered my breasts, and while I normally kept my hair in a ponytail, tonight I left it down. I could see Jim stealing glances back at me, and for fifty some miles down the expressway, he'd put his arm across the back of my seat and played with my hair.

Annie told me one day at lunch how pretty I looked with my long hair, and how she was going to let her hair grow long, too. That way, she said, she'd be pretty like her mom. I smiled at the memory, savoring it as long as I could. A car whizzed by us and I looked over at Jim, then a quick glance back to find Annie asleep in the backseat.

"You look nervous," Jim said.

"I'm not."

"I can tell."

"Not nervous... apprehensive perhaps."

"Apprehensive about what?"

I took another quick glance at Annie to make sure she's still asleep and said, "You know."

"Look if you want to back out—"

"No! Jim, I not going to change my mind. I promised you I'd..." I heard my voice trail off.

"You can't say it can you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Tell me what I want to do to you?"

The sounds of the tires as they rolled down the road filled our car. I had absolutely no problem with what Jim had planned except for one small item. He wanted to pick me up at the hotel bar like I was some sort of hooker. Somehow I kept thinking that was how he picked up the other woman. The woman he had the affair with. It's been years and yet it still burns in my mind like a red-hot poker.

"Tell me what I want to do to you?" He asked once more.

I was angry. Deep down inside me I was at war with Jim. I couldn't get over the fact that he cheated on me with HER! Like an angry volcano that had sat dormant for centuries, I exploded on him.

"You want to pick me up like a cheap whore and then jerk off on me, just like you did to her! Will it be her you will be fantasizing about or me?"

The car became silent. Seconds seems like days. "Listen, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry," I said.

He didn't say a word and kept on driving. I turned back to the window and watched the landscape go by. We drove along for miles and miles without speaking.