I Love You, Too

At last he spoke. "Laura? Look at me Laura?"

I turned back toward him.

"I said I was sorry. How many times must I say it? When will my debt be paid?"

"Look, I said I would do this for you and do it I shall. I'm sorry I think about the other woman but I do."

I felt the car slow in the traffic. "Listen to me. I've tried as hard as I can to keep this marriage together. However, I'm not sure you're on the same page as I am. I'm asking you again, do you want to quit and divorce? Jim asked.

Jim rarely gets mad, but I tell he was at his boiling point.

"I'm fighting three of your demons at the same time. I have your mother, your rape and my affair. It's more than most men could deal with.

This was supposed to be a fun weekend for the two of us. It was going to be the time that you let yourself go and be a wife to me. I ran it over and over in my head how it's going to come down. I wanted to see you all prettied up, and wearing something a bit risqué for the evening. Yes. I wanted to pick you up and take you back to our room, and there I'd rub my cock on your tits. I fantasized how I'd shoot my jism across your thighs and watch you rub my come into the fabric of your hose."

Jim took a deep breath and said, "Don't you understand, the only woman I have been fantasizing about is you. How long will this continue?"

I felt terrible. Jim has been so good to me, has tried so hard to make this marriage work, and here I am throwing rocks at everything he tries. I checked on Annie once more and turned back toward my window.

"I don't want to divorce, Jim."

"What do you want?"

I turned back to the window and watched the landscape as it went by. I didn't look at Jim when I said, "Peace with myself."

*****Chapter Nine********

We dropped off Annie at his parent's home. I noticed Jim and his dad talking. I've always liked his dad. He seemed so level headed.

We kissed Annie goodbye and told her we'd pick her up the next afternoon. Jim opened my car door for me. As soon as Jim got in and our seatbelts where clicked into place I looked over at him.

"Okay, so when does our date begin?" I asked.

He reached over and held the back of my neck and placed kisses on my lips. I soon felt his other hand on my shirt. My heart sped up three times faster than normal. I heard my seatbelt click as it released from its catch. His hands pulled the back of my shirt out from my jeans. Seconds later, I felt him squeeze the clasp of my bra and it instantly fell free from my breasts.

"Take it off."

"Out here? In your parent's driveway?"

"What did you say to me?"

"You said it was my coming out night. The night I let my demons go."

I wiggled the contraption from my shoulders and pulled it out from under my shirt. I handed it to Jim.

When I was fat my breasts where much larger, but when you drop as much weight as I did, the fat has to come from some place and my breasts were no exception. I must have dropped six bra sizes and now I feel like I'm too small for Jim's liking knowing how much he liked playing with my tits. I told him if I were to gain a few pounds that my boobs might get bigger. He flat out refused to let me get heavy again.

Jim hung my bra from the rearview mirror. It appeared so damn small as it hung there. Jim fussed with it and turned it just so. I stared at it in horror, yet at the same time it pleased me that he did it. For a moment or two, I felt like we were back in school.

By the time we arrived at the hotel, it was early afternoon. We took the elevator to our room. Once inside I noticed out of the corner of my eye how Jim paced around the room, wiping his hands on his pants, and then sitting on the bed only to stand and pace the floor seconds later. I came over to him.

"Hey, it's okay," I said.

"I'm a little nervous."

"I can tell. What are you nervous about?"

I slipped my hands into his.

"I'm going to be the one with your come dripping off my tits, so why are so you worried?"

He stood quickly and racked his hands through his hair. He paced once more as his words began to flow.

"We've been married for nine years. I've never asked you for anything in the bedroom beside plain old basic sex. I know deep down inside, you don't want any part of me. I know you don't really love me anymore."

"That's simply not true."

"Really? When I say, 'I love you,' I get 'I know' back.

Jim was absolutely right. While I did love him, I wasn't in love with him.

I melted down onto the bed while Jim stood in front of those large expanses of glass that gave us such a jaw dropping view of the city.

"Do you want to go back home? We could come up with a story to tell Annie," he said.

I came over to him and said, "Of course not."

"I had hoped an evening together might put things back the way they should be," Jim said.

Then it dawned on me. I guess I simply took Jim for granted. He had been with me all though this shit and still was.

"I wish I had a time machine," Jim said.

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm saying I'm not a perfect person. I have faults, lots of them. Who doesn't? Nor am I the perfect husband. But by God, yes, I wish I could step into a time machine and redo those years so long ago. The things I'd change. My entire concept of my life would be erased. And maybe, just maybe, I'd remember the girlfriend you once were, and those times when we'd make out and tell each other how much in love we were. I would not have made that mistake I made with Cheryl. It should have been you at that hotel."

I put my arms around his waist and leaned my head onto his chest. "What would you like me to do?"

"Love me..."

When I stood back, I could see Jim was almost to the point of tears. "Ah, Jim, it still hurts."

"How do you think I feel? That crackpot mother of yours is the reason why you ended up in the hospital in the first place."

Tonight was the first time since I left the hospital that Jim had mentioned my mother to me. But the sad part? He was absolutely right.

I had no idea how much he desired me. So, I gained weight and cut my hair short. I thought he'd simply stop asking me, but all that did was drive him out of my arms and into the arms of another woman. Shelly was right. Jim could have done much better than me. It's a wonder he's stayed as long as he has and continued to try and fix this train wreck we called a marriage.

Out of the blue the telephone rang and we jumped. "I wonder who it could be?" Jim asked as he picked the phone up.

"Hi, Dad." Jim's eyes went wide. "No we're talking. You know. Yeah, it's rough. Annie? Sure I'll talk."

Jim covered the mouthpiece of the phone, "It's Annie."

"Hey, Annie, thought you'd be enjoying your stay with grandpa. Mom? Sure she's right here."

Jim handed me the phone. "She sounds quite upset."

"Mom's here. What's wrong?"

There was silence on the other end then Annie said, "Are you and daddy getting a divorce?"

My heart stopped and it felt like it fell to the floor. "Where did you come up with that?"

"I pretended I was sleeping. I heard you and daddy talking. Momma, I don't want you to leave daddy. I love both of you so very much."

"Don't cry, Annie, your dad and I have some things to work out but we're not going to divorce. I'm not leaving daddy. You understand that?"

"Ah huh, but I heard—"

"That's only talk. Sometimes mommies and daddies say things they don't mean when they are upset."

"I'm scared... grandpa wants to talk to you. I love you mom."

"I love you, too sweetie."

I heard noises from the phone and then Jim's dad, Jack, come on. "Laura, this is Jack. I know you two have some issues, all marriages do, but you two need to fix this. You don't throw something away simply because it doesn't work right. Nope, you don't. You fix it. Whatever it takes, you fix it. That's exactly what I expect from you both. Let me talk to my son."

I handed the phone back to Jim.

"Dad? Yes, I've told you before. Yes. Yes, I have broken the affair four years ago. It is over. It has been over. Dad? Listen to me. I told Laura all there is to tell. Do you want me to make up shit to tell her that isn't true? Okay. Okay. Yes. We will. Tell Annie that both her mother and I love her with all our hearts. Yes. And Dad, Laura and I love you, too."

Jim returned the receiver back to the phone's cradle.

"Wow... Never saw that one coming. This is real, isn't it?" Jim returned to the windows.

"I thought Annie was sleeping."

"That's not the problem."

"What is?" I asked

"Us."

**************

Jim left the room 'cause he was mad. That's how he managed things. He would walk away if possible instead of fighting with me. He didn't take his keys so I waited an hour on him. That was long enough for him to cool down, and for me to calm down. I figured he had to be in the lounge.

It wasn't until I was half way down the elevator when I realized I didn't have a bra on, it was hanging on the rearview mirror. Screw it I thought.

I found him sitting at a table in a dark corner where he nursed a drink.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Naw."

"You left without saying anything," I said as I slid in beside him.

"Annie... she shouldn't be involved," Jim said.

"She's our daughter. She can't help not to be involved."

Jim looked down at the table, so I placed my hand under his chin and lifted his head.

"When I had my nervous breakdown, I weighed almost two hundred and forty pounds. I had denied you a healthy, normal, sexual relationship with your wife, all because of how I was brought up—and what happened to me— it has nothing to do with you.

"You stayed through it all. If we have gone this far, let's see it through. I promised you a night of nights, and I'm still on that page."

The lounge wasn't busy by anyone's measure, so I turned toward Jim and let my left arm lay on the table. I wiggled myself as close as I could to him. I was determined right then and there that my past would not get in the way tonight.

"I'm braless. My husband took it from me."

I did a quick glance around the mostly empty lounge. "Why don't you see for yourself?" I placed his hand on my chest.

With one hand, Jim managed to un-button the top three buttons of my shirt. My skin flushed as I felt my left breast slip out into the cool air of the lounge. He brushed his thumb across the nipple, and much to my surprise, it stiffened and grew before my eyes.

Jim's fingers curled around my breast as he gently fondled a nipple. I thought he'd be rough, trying to catch up for all those times I had swatted his hands away from my chest. Instead I found myself enjoying his gentle touch. I felt my head fall back as he continued to caress me. I closed my eyes and I wondered why I denied these feelings to him and to me.

"We should go back to our room," Jim said as he slipped my breast back under my shirt.

"We can do that."

Jim left his drink and followed me to the elevators. We didn't say a word to each other on the way up. When we entered the room, Jim went back to those windows, while I stood a few feet back.

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when he turned to me. "Would you take your shirt off?"

This was the moment of truth. My truth and I complied immediately and tossed my shirt on the bed. I watched as his eyes moved from one breast to the other.

"Jeans?"

"Sure," I said. They went on the bed too. There I stood in my panties and socks. I folded my arms behind my back. I let Jim see me without hiding myself in the sunlit room. He looked at me for what seemed like ten minutes.

"We should get ready. You head to the shower and I'll lay out your things," he said.

I went to the bathroom and turned the water on. The bathroom was bigger than my living room back at the farm, and I think I might have said something to that affect, but Jim didn't hear me.

I heard Jim going through the suitcases, and to be honest, I was curious to see what Jim had purchased for me to wear, so I leaned out the bathroom door and I watched him as he spread my clothing out across the bed.

"What do you have for me?" I asked.

"I think you'll like it. I picked everything out."

Jim had always been conservative, yet this evening, he told me I'd be wearing a tan skirt that had a row of button that came down the front, and the skirt was an inch or two above my knees. That was Jim's idea of a short skirt. He picked out a very feminine blouse and a bra with a front clasp. I felt a twitch in my gut because I didn't see panties on the bed. Did he want me to go commando? There was a pair of pantyhose and a pair of heels. They were not too tall, but from my view point tall enough to make walking a bit of a chore. It's been five years since I've worn high heels.

I went back to the bathroom and I stepped into the shower and let the water cover my body. I had my eyes closed when I noticed Jim's hands had pulled my arms over my head and he began to kiss me. Minutes later he cupped me and I rose on tippy-toes. Warm wet fingers probed my vagina, and I felt those same fingers run through the wet hairs between my legs. He cupped my breasts with his hands and kissed my nipples until they stood hard and erect.

Warm soapy water cascaded down my body. He lowered his lips to my ears.

"Tell me you're mine tonight."

"I'm yours tonight and every night from now on. Ah, Jim, please forgive me."

************

After Jim left the shower, I could hear him getting dressed. I stepped out, and walked into the main room in the nude. There sat Jim on one of the chairs in the corner. He looked so damn good in his gray three-piece suit. He had a white carnation in the left breast pocket.

"I'd like to watch you dress," he said as he pointed at the clothing neatly displayed on the king sized bed. "You may begin with your panties."

Much to my relief, I noticed a pair of panties on the bed sheet. I somehow thought Jim would have had picked out something tiny and trashy, but instead they were white nylon with some lace on the front and fringe around the leg holes. They were cut high on the hip, to expose a lot of flesh. I picked them off of the bed and wiggled them up my legs and thighs. I adjusted the waistband around my hips and turned around before him. I could tell my butt cheeks weren't fully covered.

"You like?" I asked.

He nodded. "Very much so."

Jim came over to me and removed the towel I had wrapped around my hair. We sat on the bed, and Jim dried my hair with a blow dryer. When he was satisfied, he stood and pointed at the rest of my clothing.

"We should hurry," Jim said, but I suspect he was having a bit of a time keeping himself from jumping my nearly nude body. I don't know why, but for whatever reason, my nipples were hard and they pointed out. I noticed Jim couldn't take his eyes off of me, and when he thought I wasn't looking, he would rearrange his dick under his pants.

He pointed at various articles of clothing and I put them on for him. It took about twenty minutes before I was done. He smiled at me.

"You're a very beautiful wife. I'm glad I married you."

This time I felt butterflies in my gut, and I knew those brand new panties I had on were becoming wet with desire.

******Chapter Ten*********

We went down to the hotel's restaurant for dinner. We were so nervous that the waiter came over and asked if there was anything wrong with our food as all we did was pick at it.

I reached under the table and placed Jim's hand on my thigh. Jim managed to loosen the bottom two buttons on my skirt, and when he pushed the hem of my skirt up, I felt my face flush. I could see in my mind's eye the face of my mother if she knew where I had let Jim put his hand. That night, would be different. It might have been Jim's night, but it also was my night. I kept my sexuality buried deep down in my soul. I was so afraid if I'd let it out, that I'd become one of the bad girls my Mom told me about.

"I'm going to go to the lounge. Meet me there," I said as I stood. I sashayed to the bar as best I could, which wasn't as hard as I thought considering the heels I had on. I wobbled a bit.

At that time of night, the lounge was dimly light. I found a seat at the bar, and ordered a drink. While I waited on Jim to make his appearance, I had to turn down a couple of men that tried to hit on me. I found it exciting, to have men approach me, but I had my eye on only one guy; my husband.

As soon as I found his face in the lounge, I felt that tingle between my legs return with a vengeance. Jesus help me because I wanted Jim to do things to me that even he hadn't fantasized about. I had stuffed away nine years of my sex life because of Mom and that man who raped me, and it was all going to end tonight.

He took the seat next to me. "Hello beautiful."

"Have a seat," I said.

He looked at me with those deep sea blue eyes of his. "You're a most attractive woman, you know that don't you?"

I felt my face flush. "You trying to pick me up?"

"No. No need for that. I'm already married to you." He caught the bartender's eye. "Give her another of what she's drinking and I'll have a Jim Beam neat."

While we waited for the drinks, I caught him looking at my legs. It's been years since I've dressed up this way for him and to be frank, I haven't wore nylons or even hose for years. Even at work, I never wore skirts, I was simply too heavy. I crossed my legs at the knee, and let my skirt ride up my thighs higher than I have my entire life. He noticed, and before I knew it he had his hand on my knee, and while no one appeared to be watching, Jim pushed the hem of my skirt up as high as he thought he could get away with. It was a good thing the pantyhose he purchased for me was sheer all the way to my waist, because he exposed most of my thighs to the room.

He looked at me with those eyes of his. They drew me in. His fingers moved along the top of my thigh.

Jim leaned in and said, "You know what I'd like to do to your thighs and legs?"

I moved my finger around the rim of my glass. "Tell me. What would you do?"

"I'm going to come on them and watch as you rub my jism into the fabric of your hose."

"And then?" I asked.

"I'm going to un-button your blouse, take your bra off and then I'm going to come on your tits."

We've never talked shit like that to each other, and out of nowhere, all of a sudden, maybe it was the drinks, I don't know, but damn I had this squishy wet sensation between my legs.

"If you think you got enough come in that cock of yours, then what are you waiting for?" I asked.

Jim put his empty glass down and offered me his hand. We walked out of the lounge and down the hallway to the elevators. Halfway there I noticed his hand left mine and was rubbing my ass. The elevator doors opened with a swish and we stepped in. No sooner than the doors had closed than Jim had me pressed against the wall. He held my hands above my head as he kissed me. On my lips, down the side of my neck, and across my shoulders until I was dizzy with desire. I simply didn't want the elevator to stop. But it did.

Jim had the key card out and within seconds we were inside our room. I turned for a second and when I looked back, Jim had stripped out of his suit and stood before me nude except for his socks.

All the time we've been together, on those rare times when we did have sex, it was always in the dark. Not that night. Jim turned on all the lights. I watched him go from one table light to the other.

I eyed his body up from his toes to the hairs on his head. All the work he had been doing on the farm certainly buffed him up. While not exactly six-pack abs, he looked amazing.

I couldn't stop looking at his cock. My God, I've never seen it appear so thick and hard. It curled up a bit and the head had turned purple. I stood there frozen for what seemed like minutes as I stared at his member.