Illusions

Meghan set the envelope aside and pulled out the very official-looking sheet of paper with a pie chart on it along with another sheet that had the traditional DNA lab markings on it.

"Okay, it says...English 42%."

"Yep. That makes sense," her mom said.

"Um...French is 4%."

"Okay. That sounds logical."

"Czechoslovakia...35%?" Meghan read.

"What? Let me see that!" Laurel said. "How can that be?"

There it was. The second largest area was shaded in yellow and it did indeed say 'Czechoslovakia' (or 'Czech Republic'). She noted that the third most prevalent area was Hungary at 16% with Poland accounting for 2% and 1% unknown.

"I don't get it," Meghan said. "What does this even mean? Is dad's family from Czechoslovakia or something?"

Laurel didn't answer as she opened her profile.

"What does it say, Mom?" Meghan asked when her mom kept looking but didn't speak.

"Give me just a minute, okay?" she said as she put the paper down.

"Where are you going? Mom!" Meghan called out as her mother quickly walked away.

She looked at the sheet then started to understand.

Czechoslovakia was in green at 64%. Hungary was in yellow and said 26%. Poland was third with 9% and unknown at 1%.

Laurel was back in less than two minutes. She opened an envelope and pulled out the paperwork inside and laid it next to her DNA profile.

"Mom? What's going on?" Meghan said as her mother still hadn't said a word.

"This is your Aunt Lisa's DNA profile. Come here. Look," Laurel said moving to the side.

"I don't understand," Meghan said looking back and forth. "Why does Aunt Lisa's say English is 66% with Germany at 24%? Where's Czechoslovakia or Hungary or..."

"Oh, my God," Laurel said quietly. "Oh...my...God."

"Mom? You're freaking me out. What's going on?" Meghan wanted to know.

"We're not...we're not related," she said barely above a whisper.

"Who's not related, Mom? What in the world are you talking about?"

"Honey? I want to go online and find someone who can interpret DNA findings. Can you help me look?"

"Yes, but only if you'll tell me what the hell is going on," Meghan said as they opened her laptop.

Laurel shared her suspicions as Meghan opened up Google to start a search.

"Is that even possible?" Meghan asked as she typed in some trial words like: DNA expert, interpret profile results, and a few others.

"Remember how I said Lisa and I used to joke about being switched at birth or something because we didn't look anything alike?"

Meghan looked up then said, "Oh, my God, Mom. Do you really think..."

Three days and $500 later, they had their answer.

"There is zero chance these two people are biologically related. Beyond the point of many, many generations in the past, of course where all of us are related to some degree. But I can tell you with complete assurance this person is not related to you."

"Zero chance?" Laurel repeated her heart beating like a drum.

"None. Zilch. Zero," the man told her authoritatively.

He grabbed Meghan's again and started showing markers on the more detailed report.

"See how we have matches, here, here, here, and...here?" he said pointing to places where Laurel and her daughter were identical.

"That's the pattern we always see for a biologically-related parent and child. It is a 100% guarantee you are this young lady's mother."

He smiled then said, "Of course, you already knew that, right?"

The physical resemblance was overwhelming so yes, Laurel knew.

"But comparing you to this woman, the one you believed was your sister, there are no matches. None. This is proof you are not biologically related to her."

Laurel sat there staring at the three sets of DNA printouts. Unlike the pie charts, she couldn't read these, but this expert could and he had just shown her that she and her 'sister' Lisa were not sisters after all.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" the man asked.

"Oh. Um, no. I don't think so," Laurel said unable to focus.

"Well, you have my number if you think of anything. If it's related to these three profiles, there'll be no additional charge, of course," he told her.

She thanked him and showed him out then went and sat back down and stared at all three of them again.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Meghan asked.

"I don't know, honey. I guess that depends," she answered absentmindedly.

"On?"

"On...on several things, I guess," she mumbled.

"Do you want to talk about this?" Meghan asked supportively. "Because if you do, I understand. This is...this is...huge, Mom."

"Yes. Yes, it is, Megs," she replied.

"So do you want to try and find out who your birth parents are now?" her daughter asked.

"Eventually," Laurel said still not really focusing. "But not now."

"Well, if you don't need me, I...I kind of have a date," Meghan said on the verge of smiling a very happy smile.

"What? Oh, honey. That's wonderful! Who's the lucky guy?" her mom asked.

"It's Orrin. The Mormon guy. Or kind of ex-Mormon guy," she announced.

"The guy with the drinking problem?" Laurel asked now fully attentive.

"Yeah, only he and I have decided to quit drinking," Meghan said surprising her mother.

"You're um, not going to become a Mormon, are you?" Laurel asked.

"No. God, no! No way. Not now, not ever. He doesn't believe in it anymore, but he does believe in being healthy and fit, and I told him I'd go on the wagon with him. Oh, and we're gonna start going to the gym together, too."

Meghan smiled then said, "Did I mention he's really cute?"

"No, but I assumed he'd be attractive or you wouldn't be interested. May I ask how old this Orrin might be if he's been on a two-year mission starting at 19?"

"Okay, but don't blow a gasket, all right?" Meghan said looking like a little girl again for the first time in years.

"I'm listening," her mother said.

"Thirty-two," Meghan said making a face indicating she expected a very negative reaction.

Her mother wanted to say something negative, then thought how hypocritical she'd be were she to do so. Then again, weren't parents supposed to be hypocritical? Weren't they supposed to tell their children not to smoke even if they did or not to try cocaine knowing they'd tried it?

"Is he a nice guy?" Laurel asked.

"He's really nice. And he's very smart, too. I like him a lot, Mom," her daughter said sincerely.

"Megs? You're almost 19 and old enough to make your own decisions. Just make sure this guy treats you well. If he's controlling or gets angry easily or if ever, ever lays a hand on you..."

Meghan walked over and hugged her mom in mid-sentence.

"I really was paying attention all those years growing up, Mom. I would never let a man hit me or even verbally abuse me, okay?" she said as she pulled back. "Besides, I'm not marrying him. We're just hanging out and getting healthy."

"Okay, I'll be quiet," her mom said.

"I don't want you to be quiet, Mom. I want you to know I've learned a lot from watching you over the years. You've been an incredible role model and the best mother a girl could ever have," her daughter said sincerely before hugging her again.

"A good role model, huh?" she said.

"Yes. The best," Meghan told her.

"And what if I told you I was dating or maybe...wanted to date someone, you know, a lot..."

"Older than you? That's cool. I mean, if he's like 70 or something then...eewww! But if he's like 50 or something, sure."

"Oh. Well, what if the guy was, let's say, younger than me? Would that be too weird for you?"

"Mom? I just want you to be happy. I don't care who you date as long as he treats you right. So if he's like 35 or even say...30, I guess that'd be okay, too."

Meghan looked at her mom and could tell she wasn't telling her everything.

"Um...is there someone younger or is this just hypothetical?" she asked getting a little more serious.

"Maybe?" her mom said doing the wincing thing again.

"Maybe? And...just how much younger are we talking about?" Meghan said now sounding like the parent.

"A lot?" Laurel said still holding her 'ouch' face.

"Okay, he's not like...my age, right?" Meghan said losing patience.

"Oh, heavens no!" Laurel said hoping that at nearly 24, five years was a big enough difference to merit an indignant, 'heavens no' kind of comment.

"Then...I guess that's okay. As long as he treats you well," she said with a stern face before laughing.

Laurel felt hopeful for the first time in many weeks and couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's antics.

"Come here and give me one more hug, you crazy, wonderful girl!"

"So...do I know this guy by any chance?" Meghan asked as they ended their hug.

"Um...maybe you should sit down," Laurel told her daughter.

"Mom? You're scaring me again," she said as she sat down at the kitchen table.

Ten minutes and a bucket of tears later, Laurel said, "Do you hate me? I mean, I'd understand if you do because...I hate me. I mean...myself."

"I...I don't know," Meghan said. "I mean, he's my cousin or he was until we got the DNA test back, right?"

"No, he's not your cousin and he's not my nephew. But that's what all of us have always believed. And trust me when I tell you just how acutely aware I am of that."

"Wow. I...I can't even think about this right now. I need time, okay, Mom? And speaking of time, I need to get going."

"Oh, right. Orrin and your date or whatever you call it these days."

"It's just hanging out, Mom. It's no big deal," Meghan said.

"So...do you hate me?" Laurel asked feeling sick to her stomach again.

"Hey! Stop that! After everything we've been through with Dad and Aunt...with Lisa, and you putting up with my shenanigans, how could I blame you for liking the only person who was there for you when you needed him? I certainly wasn't. I was too busy partying and drinking and getting h... Never mind. If you can still love me through all that, how could I not still love you for always, always being there for me?"

Laurel couldn't stop herself from crying, but these wear tears of joy, and she couldn't ever remember feeling closer to her daughter.

"Has Leyton moved to Alaska yet?" Meghan asked feeling guilty for having completely lost track of her 'cousin'.

"I honestly don't know," her mom replied. "We agreed to not see each other again."

"Never?" Meghan asked incredulous to hear her mother say something like that.

"Well, yes. We both knew we couldn't even be in the same room together because the..."

"La, la, la, la, la, la!" Meghan said putting her hands over her ears like a child. "I get it, Mom, okay?"

"Sorry, sweetie. This honesty thing was going so well, too," she said trying to laugh.

"Let's not get carried away, okay?" Meghan told her.

"You're right. Some things should be left unsaid, huh?"

"Um, yes, except that once a thought gets planted in your brain, you can never un-think it again."

Meghan shivered and did a kind of willy thing.

"So...are you going to call him?" Meghan asked as she stood up.

"I don't know," her mom said.

"What do you mean you don't know? Mom, this whole thing is totally crazy, but don't you owe it to yourself to at least let him know this? I mean, what if he misses you as much as you're missing him?"

"That's the problem. If I leave him alone, he'll be able to find someone closer to his own age. Someone more...appropriate."

"Appropriate? Appropriate doesn't know squat about feelings or love or anything else. Appropriate is the word for doing what other people think you should do rather than what you want to do. I say fu...sorry. Screw them!"

Laurel managed another laugh but her heart wasn't in it.

"How did you get so grown up so fast?" her mother asked.

"By talking with Orrin?" she said as a question more than a statement. "Call him, Mom. And soon."

She bent over and hugged her mom one more time then said, "I really, really gotta get going."

"Oh, right. Bible study!"

"No, it's the Book of Mormon, remember?" Meghan said snidely but in a teasing sort of way before sticking her tongue out at her mother. "I do love you, Mom."

"I love you too, honey," she said smiling something close to a real smile.

"And I'm in love with someone. Someone I'm not related to," she said very quietly.

She sat there and debated with herself for quite a while.

"Hmmm. To call or not to call. That is the question."

Laurel decided to sleep on it and give it some more thought in the morning, which proved easier said than done.

She had a fitful night trying to put this whole thing out of her mind for even a few hours. Knowing Leyton was not related to her by blood meant there was no real reason she couldn't be with him. And yet, there was still this tiny little 15-year age difference and the fact that she'd um...related to him as her nephew his entire life.

And just like that, the answer came to her when she remembered something she'd once heard. Laurel couldn't recall who said it, but she definitely remembered hearing it.

"The realization there's no one 'up there' listening can feel like a huge let down for some period of time if you spent your life believing there was. Imagine having been told all your life that you'd inherit a billion dollars when you turned 21. When your 21st birthday approaches, you learn there never was any inheritance at all let alone that much money. It was all just a hoax. You sincerely believed it, but you were still wrong. It would be natural to feel disappointed or even angry. But the truth is there never was any money so what's there to be angry about?"

It didn't matter what she'd been told about Leyton the last 23 years. He was not her sister's child because sadly, Lisa wasn't really her sister. Well, not biologically anyway. She would always be her 'sister' just as their mother would always be her mom because a mom is a parent who loves you and cares for you and puts your needs above hers. So if she had been switched at birth, it made no difference in terms of having had a wonderful, loving mother, and a best friend she'd been told was her sister.

She waited until 9am and couldn't wait another minute before calling the man she couldn't get off her mind.

As the phone rang her pulse increased with each ring. When it went to voicemail she felt crushed even though it wasn't necessarily a big deal. When she heard the 'beep' she left the following message:

"Leyton? Hi, it's me...Laurel. I have the most unbelievable news and I wanted to share it with you. I just need to talk to you because this isn't something I can say in a voicemail. So will you please call me, Ley? Please?"

More than anything she could ever remember, Laurel wanted to say, "I love you, Leyton," but that, too, would have to wait as she knew she might never be able to say it to him.

Waiting. Once again, her hope turned to fear as she imagined him already living in Alaska and even worse, dating some beautiful, young girl he'd fallen for. The thought of possibly having missed the most important opportunity of her life by a few days or even hours, made her feel nauseous.

She stared at her phone trying to will it to ring knowing it might never do so. She was tempted to call again just in case. But her rational mind won out and she forced herself to get busy.

After all, now that Denny was gone, she was going to have to go work. He'd been paying the mortgage and the other bills out of some twisted sense of guilt, but he'd told her that was going to end at some point. His last check had been cashed and spent and Laurel was going to need income very soon.

Working on a resume was as therapeutic as it was necessary. The sad part was not being able to list any job whatsoever since she got married. And before that, she'd only worked in retail and fast food so in effect, she had no real work experience which only added to the anxiety she was feeling.

Meghan walked into the kitchen where her mom was sitting around noon and said good morning as she went to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"I didn't hear you come in last night," her mom said without accusation.

"Oh, I got home just after midnight. "Turns out Orrin is a real gentleman."

"Oh?" her mom said.

"Yep. When he kissed me goodnight I let him know I was, you know, very interested in him and..."

"Okay, okay!" her mom said not wanting to hear the details.

"No, it's not like that, Mom. He said he really liked me, too, and that I was...worth waiting for."

Her mom didn't reply so Meghan said, "No other guy has ever said anything like that to me before."

She sat down next to her mom then said, "It made me feel...special."

"You are special, honey," her mom assured her.

"It's hard to remember when every guy just wants...you know."

"It only seems like it's every guy, Megs. There really are some good ones out there. And when you find him, hold on tight."

"Yeah, there are. I think Orrin is one of them."

"He sounds very nice," Laurel said.

"So is Leyton," Meghan said before a taking a first sip. "Did you call?"

"I did," her mom replied, but her tone of voice indicated something was wrong.

"Did he tell you he doesn't feel the way you do or something?" Meghan asked with real concern.

"No. He didn't answer the phone, so I left a voicemail. I'm sure he saw it was from me and didn't pick up."

"That's harsh," her daughter said.

"Yes, but I understand why. I know you don't want to hear about...us...any more than I want to hear details about you and Orrin, but I'll just say the tension between us was so unbearable we really had to make a clean break. A total break."

"But that was before you had this information, Mom. Leyton still thinks your his aunt by blood. You've got to let him know that isn't true."

"I don't know what else to do, Megs. I could call again, but I know he won't answer."

"Hold on," Meghan said.

She came back two minutes later with her phone and Laurel felt panicked.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she saw her daughter hit 'call'.

"I'm saving you," she said with a smile.

"Give me that!" her mom said reaching for the phone.

Meghan smiled and turned away then got up and walked away as her mom kept trying to take her phone.

"Leyton! What the hell? You don't call anymore?" Meghan said as her mom was mouthing threats and pointing at her.

"Sorry, cuz. You know how it goes. Work, work, work."

"Yeah, but I know you don't work all the time so that's not gonna fly," Meghan said as her mom gave up and was now listening intently to the conversation that was on speakerphone.

"Busted," Leyton said. "So what's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I just have some earth-shattering news is all," Meghan said smiling at her mom.

Her voice was playful and yet Leyton's first thought was something had happened to the only women he'd ever fallen in love with.

"Jesus...Meg. Is...is your mom okay? Is something wrong with her?" he asked the concern in his voice obvious.

"She's fine, dude. In fact, she's standing right here beside me looking at me with puppy dog eyes."

Her mom made another face and pretended to be angry.

"I don't understand," Leyton said.

"No, you don't," Meghan told him. "But you need to hear what she has to say, because this no-kidding life changing news, okay?"

Meghan tried handing the phone to her mom, but she wouldn't take it.

"No! I can't. He doesn't want to talk to me," she said quietly but still loud enough for Leyton to hear.

"Is that true, Leyton? Do you really not want to talk to my mom?"

There was a long pause before he said, "It's complicated, Megs."

"This will un-complicate things. Trust me," she told him. "I'm putting my mom on and I'm not leaving until you know the truth."

"The truth? What truth?" they both heard Leyton say as Laurel accepted the phone.

"Leyton? Please don't hang up, okay?" Laurel said immediately.