by Genghis_Rees
This story would be halfway decent if it didn't play on every single stereotype in existence about transgender people, which made it, truth be rold, a little infuriating to read. In fact, the only reason I finished it was to see whether or not the guy was as big of an ass as I expected him to be. For future reference, "trap" is one of the worst insults you can levy at a transgender person. If I were Charlie, I would have probably slapped his face off his skull for that.
I wanted to add a bit of advice: write about what you know. Sex with transgender people, particularly transgender women, is something you, quite obviously, don't know much about. It also doesn't seem like you know a lot about transgender people in general. First, one would never out themselves to a group of classmates the way she did. That could lead to a whole lot of heartache and abuse, so we do our best to keep that hidden to everyone except those we explicitly trust. Second, as far as she seems in her transition, she wouldn't say she's "not a real girl". Why not? Because she is a girl. End of story. If you're going to write about transgender people, learn about us first.
Just another tale full of shitty cliches by a Literotica reader who says to themselves, "I can write this stuff, too!"
No, you can't. Quit deluding yourself.
Though I think all the "Anonymous" responses, were the same person...just my opinion. Anyway, it had it's faults but I enjoyed it and wouldn't mind seeing a second chapter. Don't worry too much about all the hate comments...give it another go.
One thing you need to do if you allow comments - which I think we all should - is to just ignore Anonymous trolls who love to express hate and condescension. It's a downside to all the positives we derive from sharing our thoughts, feelings, and writings on the internet. Second thing: HUG!!! This has good tone and spirit and intentions and is generally well written. The emotions expressed and the confusion by your hero are entirely appropriate and very well expressed. So keep at it, but learn.
The non-anonymous comment was meant as constructive and should be taken that way. Don't stop writing about us, but do take advantage of the volunteer editors in Literotica.com to learn more before you're next piece. I'm looking forward to reading more and helping if I can. Oh, I hope you don't mind but while I'm being constructive, two more thoughts: 1) Read the stories of whiskyisgood, an author who writes excellent stories on similar subjects; 2. Ditch "It's a Trap" as a title - not at all appropriate for your story. Something like "Alley Oops!" would have been so much better.
I like the story direction and the discovery of pleasuring a woman with something extra that the 1st person is contemplating. Diane is correct about asking someone to help edit your stories. She is also correct that Whiskey writes some very nice stories - a lot of which are stories of exploration. I would love to read another chapter or two, so don't be discouraged by some of the comments.
Diane, you don't even write any stories. You just moan about haters.
Whiskey, all I can say is
WHISKEY IS GOOD, WATER IS WETTER
TOO BAD YOUR STORIES
NEVER GET BETTER
We all know you're a pathetic loner who has no life outside of leaving mean comments about dirty stories on the Internet. You think your insults mean anything to anyone here? You've worn this shtick out, buddy. It's gone from mildly amusing to just plain sad. Everybody here wishes that you'd finally just break down and get the depression and anger treatment that you so clearly and desperately need. It's not healthy, bucko. Get help soon.
I dindn´t like it. Rating over 4? Hows that possible. There are so many better stories on this site with the same ranking. With all the clichés played at I just don´t get how people enjoy this. Far too overrated. To all you guys saying the anonymous commenters are unvalid, please rethink that opinion. To the auther: Don´t stop writing after a story that didn´t come across that good. There is always room for improvement.
Do better fuckface, you don't deserve this rating. It's poor writing all round, seems like it came right of the Max Landis conveyer belt.
Got a nice tuck going tho
It's on its way to a good story, keep going, take your time, and looking forward to the next chapter
IRVING PARKE! IRVING PARKE!
READS BAD PORN TALES AFTER DARK
THINKS THEY'RE GOOD,
THINKS HE'S SMART!
A BAD REVIEW JUST BREAKS HIS HEART!
BUT IRVING P'S MORE DUMB THAN PISSED!
THINKS HE'S A PSYCHO-ANALYST
HE'LL CLAIM YOUR INNER THOUGHTS HE KNOWS
IF YOU DARE SAY, A STORY BLOWS!
HE TALKS SO TOUGH BUT IT'S ALL SHIT!
IRV LOVES TO THROW THOSE HISSY FITS!
YOU BETTER WRITE JUST RAVE REVIEWS
OR" BAD-ASS IRV" WILL COME AT YOU!
PS- Where'd you get your psych training, Irv?
A lousy, cliched story that more than justifies the bile and abuse hurled at it here.
As for Irving and Diane, they seem like the types who say "thank everybody who sends in a story and if you can't say something nice about them, we'll abuse the people who don't like the story because we're so rough and ready."
Not the way it works. The story in this case is awful and some of its defenders don't have much going for them either. The mere act of submitting something does not and will not make it good.
Anonymous, the personal attacks are uncool. While I agree that this story is... well, pretty bad, the personal attacks are unnecessary. I was hoping the author would see them as a learning experience, and maybe as an opportunity to reach out to transgender people and learn something about us. Instead, you probably just blew that all to hell. Thanks.
More than one "anonymous," I'm afraid. I don't think bad stories deserve a pass. If I knew who the anonymous was writing the limericks I'd send a fan letter. As for the "personal attacks," it's worth noting that some of the author's defenders (Irvingparke) have been pretty loose with personal digs.
I never really liked the term "trap." It suggests deviousness.