It's In The Wrong Catagory

Her eyes had widened.

"Are you a psychologist, or detective?"

My turn to laugh.

"No, professional bar tender."

The sad tale spilled out. He was a guest lecturer in a business class when she was attending college full time. She caught his eye, and he asked her out. He was almost ten years older, handsome, flattering, attentive. She fell head over heels, they married nine months later. He paid attention, showered her with little gifts, she was very happy.

About four years in he started changing, neglecting her, becoming distant. She called him on it, he apologized, promised to do better, and did for about six months. She started wanting to have a family, and he talked her into waiting, saying the time wasn't right. The last year had been bad, he traveled on business every other weekend, for a new business they had started, leaving Thursday and not returning until late Saturday.

He seemed happier after he started traveling, but was still cool towards her. Finally she took some of his money, had him investigated.

He was of course, having affairs. She had gotten confirmation of her fears.

"He doesn't have a steady girlfriend, it seems to be casual hook ups, four that I know of, who knows what the total is? He'd been traveling for about six months before I decided to check on him."

"I was scared to death. Found a doctor a few towns over, had a full exam. I came back clean, thank goodness, but it was scary."

"We haven't had relations, I can't call it making love, since I found out. Sadly, it doesn't seem to bother him much."

Curiosity got the better of me.

"What are your plans? Are you going to confront him? Try to make it work?"

She shook her head firmly.

"No. He's toast, he just doesn't know it yet. It will be pretty soon, though. It's one of the reasons I came back to school. He thinks I'm taking a full course load, telling him the classes I needed were mostly taught in the evening makes it easier to stay away from him. I just need a few more hours to get my accounting degree, and I intend to use it to help make sure he doesn't try cheating me in the settlement. He always joked that the only thing he could ever love more than me was money."

"I've already found some duplex apartments and a couple business buildings we own that he's never told me about. I've got a good team digging. I'll know everything when it's time for the showdown."

She sighed.

"Don't get the idea I'm a gold digger. I brought money into the marriage that has helped him quite a bit, it's one of the main reasons there was no prenuptial agreement. So if he loves sluts and money more than me, I'm going to hit him where it hurts."

I could see her logic, sort of.

"Why drag it out? You're obviously not going to keep him. Why beat a dead horse? You're beautiful, admittedly well off, and still young enough to find someone to start the family you want. I bet you'd be a heck of a mom, with a Mercedes instead of a minivan. Walk away. Find happiness."

She smiled for the first time that night.

"So I'm beautiful? Great mother material? I might take you up on the finding someone better plan. You're not married, are you?"

I blushed and she laughed out loud.

"You're way out of my league. I'd be a male Cinderella. It would be something to dream about. A rich, beautiful wife who has to be smoking hot in other areas, and you know what I mean. You're the unattainable dream, baby."

She was still giggling, but she punched my arm and got serious.

"Don't sell yourself short. I've seen the way the little coeds look at you. And Vivian[one of my few hookups]gave you a pretty good report. But, my next one will be for love. And lust, of course.

It was getting a little deep for me. I looked at my watch.

"Time we went home, I've got a long day tomorrow. I'm glad you decided to trust me, and I'll never tell. Not my business, really. If I were to presume to offer you advice, I'd tell you it's time to make yourself happy."

I pulled her chair back.

"Rescuing damsels in distress, holding doors, chairs, carrying handkerchiefs, are you a time traveler? Men like you don't exist in this century."

"Call me old fashioned. I respect everyone right up until the time I find out they're not respectable, and good manners are ageless. Good night, Marie."

I walked her to her car, and she surprised me by giving me a full kiss on the lips. I was stunned.

She drew back smiling.

"I just wanted to make sure you're real. Goodnight, Jerry."

I watched the tail lights of her Cadillac ATS fade in the distance, got int my truck, and went home to my empty bed.

.................................................

After that night, Marie and I would have coffee almost every Thursday, often with friends. She was bubbly and engaging in a group, but when it was just us, she'd often be pensive and sad.

I found out by accident her birthday was the next Thursday, and we planned a little surprise party.

She thought we were going for coffee, but when she got there she was ambushed. Seven of us dragged her down to a little jazz bar that one of our friends had discovered, and we partied. Not hard, not out of control, but we had a good time. I think she danced with every man in the bar. It ended way too soon. I'll always remember how her body melded into mine during one of the slow dances.

I walked her back to her car. She held my hand, and when I opened the door she gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Here. I almost forgot. Happy Birthday, Marie."

It was a dozen vintage ladies hankies, soft little squares with embroidery around the edges. I'd had them monogrammed with her initials.

"In case I'm not around when you need one."

She burst into tears and threw herself into my arms. I hugged her, gently patting her back until she calmed down.

"Sorry," she said, between hiccups, "it's one of the nicest gifts I've ever received."

She grimaced, a feeble attempt at a smile.

"Know what my husband got me? A sapphire and diamond necklace. Expensive, I'm sure, but the card was signed by his assistant. I gave him a big kiss, told him I'd always loved emeralds, how did he know? He gave me a big smile, told me he was a lot more attentive than I thought, and then told me he had to be out of town this weekend."

"Dump him, Marie. Do it now. Don't torture yourself any longer."

"I'm almost there. Another three weeks to a month should wrap it up. Can I call you if I need moral support?"

"Absolutely."

I knew she'd never call.

.................................................

I was wrong.

She called the next Tuesday.

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Sure."

"I want to go to the home and garden show next Wednesday afternoon. That's your day off, right?"

I wondered where this was going.

"You know it is."

I could hear the eagerness in her voice.

"Will you go with me? You drive a truck, right? If I decide to get something, you could haul it for me. Please?"

I thought for a minute.

"I don't know, Marie. This sounds suspiciously like a date. You know my rule."

I had given her some of my background, told he a lot of what I'd seen in my years behind a bar. She knew my stand on dating married women.

"THIS IS NOT A DATE. It's one friend helping another out. Please?"

I shouldn't have, but I agreed to escort her. She met me in the parking lot.

We had a ball, especially in the landscaping area. I found she loved outdoor living spaces, loved cooking outside. We looked at a few preplanned outdoor kitchens. She oohed and ahhed. There was one I really liked a lot. The rep, sensing a sale, put on a full court press.

He was smart enough to know women are the driving force behind most household purchases, so he went after Marie.

"Can't you just see yourself entertaining, your husband manning the grill while you mingle and chat? He looks pretty handy, you get a big discount if he can do most of the work."

She smiled, rubbing my arm.

"He's VERY handy, but not around tools, if you get my drift. I'd rather conserve his energy for other activities."

Both the rep and I blushed. She got all the information and brochures, promised we'd think about it. We were there so long it was dark when we came out.

She was happy all the way to the parking lot.

"Wanna grab some dinner?"

I surprised her by refusing.

"I'd love to, but I'm not going to. Think about your reputation, Marie. You can explain it away at school as study partners and friends. You can explain away today as asking me to haul stuff for you in my truck. But a dinner? Not a good idea."

She groaned.

"The first man I'm attracted to in a long time, and he has to ruin it by thinking of me and being noble. I think I'd like you a little better if you weren't quite so honorable."

"No you wouldn't. If I wasn't I'd be just another sleaze out trying to seduce and use a troubled married woman. We'd both think less of me, of both of us. I could never do that."

I looked around, it was dark, no one was near, so I grabbed her, kissing her urgently. She responded with passion. Thirty seconds later I realized what we were doing and pulled back. Both of us were gasping for air.

"What was that for?" she said, when she got her breathing under control.

"That, Sweet Marie, was me letting you know that whatever I say, I've been attracted to you since the day we met. And it was also to verify what I had long suspected. You are one hot woman. Goodnight."

As I sat in my truck waiting to follow her out, I was pretty sure she was crying. I thought I saw flashes of white from my gift.

I watched her tail lights fade as I turned off, going home and sleeping badly.

..................................................

Apparently my little action in the parking lot had made an impression on Marie. I'd been casually flirting with a woman in one of the classes I didn't share with Marie, and she asked me out. It had been a while so I agreed.

We spent a pleasant evening, and a pleasurable morning. It was just for fun, at least on my part. I think she liked it, she made it plain she'd like a repeat. We made tentative plans for the next weekend.

Marie found out from a guy in both classes. I didn't see it first hand, but she hunted the woman down and had a little 'talk'. The next day when I talked to Gail, the girl I'd been out with, she chewed me out.

"You're an asshole! Why were you dating me if you were in a committed relationship? Your girlfriend chewed me out pretty hard."

"This girlfriend got a name?"

"You know damn well it was Marie. I wouldn't be too hopeful about getting any from her for a while, and you damn sure won't be getting it from me. You and your psychotic girlfriend need to leave me alone from now on."

I apologized to her as I left. She gave me a parting shot.

"I wouldn't try this again, if I were you. She's put the word out. Date you and it could be very bad."

Now I knew why she had rushed off the night before. The next Thursday I cornered her before class.

"Pizza place, right after class. You're like Lucille Ball, you 'got some 'splainin' to do."

I got there early and ordered, knowing what she liked. She slid into the booth with her head down.

"Wanna tell me about your conversation with Gail?"

She finally looked up.

"She's not right for you, and she's way too young. You need to stay away from women like her!"

"Marie, even it what you say is true, shouldn't that be my decision to make? What do you have to gain from your actions."

Her eyes flashed.

"If I have to tell you that, you're the dumbest man in the world. You need a woman close to your own age, one with with experience in the real world, someone who can compliment you in public and destroy you in private."

You mean someone like you."

She rolled her eyes like she was talking to an idiot.

"No, not someone like me. Me."

I had suspected that, but now that it was out in the open I didn't know exactly how to deal with it.

"Marie, I..."

"Stop talking. It'll just wind up pissing me off. Listen to me. I'm attracted to you. After that kiss the other night and your statement, I know you want me. Don't over think this. I promise you, as soon as I'm out of the situation I'm in, I'm coming after you. That's why I got rid of Gail. I don't need you distracted, you need to stay focused on me. Understand?"

"Yes, but..."

"No buts," she said, firmly, walking out the door.

I had the pizza boxed to go, went home, and over thought it.

................................................

"Almost done!" she told me three weeks later. "I've got a team of forensic accountants, supposedly the best to be had, going over our financials. It's easy when I have access and most of the passwords. There were a few things blocked, bu they've managed to get in. I was surprised, but not as much as he's going to be. I just need to decide how hard I want to come down on him."

"You want my opinion?"

She nodded, seeming eager to hear what had to say.

"Do it quietly, keep it as low key as possible. I don't know what your business is, so think about how this would impact it. Remember, if you try burning him, the heat might blow back, and cost you in the long run."

She ruffled my hair.

"I'll say it again, you're way to honorable. Most people would advise me to go nuclear. There again, I may have to ramp it up if he refuses to cooperate, or tries to get ugly. But once again, I will yield to your logic."

"That being said, as an almost free woman whose soon to be ex is out of town, can I interest you in a drink somewhere?"

"Marie..."

She stuck her tongue out.

"What are going to hide behind when I'm officially single? I'm going to pursue you, relentlessly. Understand?"

I was a little stunned. There was a spark between us that couldn't be denied, but I wasn't in her league, and I told her so.

"We'll see," she said. "And if you're worried about money, I'll let you pay every time we go out. I'm not that high maintenance, hon."

I was getting uncomfortable, she saw, and relented. I walked her out to her car, parked for some reason all the way in back. She looked around, saw no one, and practically tackled me, her tongue so far down my throat she could have told you what I had for lunch.

She was rubbing all over me, and when we finally broke apart she grinned and rubbed my erection through my pants.

"You might have morals, but you're human, and part of you likes the idea of us together."

................................................

I got the shock of my life when she walked in the bar a week later, on the arm of her husband. Suddenly a lot of things made sense. I remember the odd look she gave me when I told her where I worked.

Most everyone in the country club didn't care much for him. He was a self serving, ingratiating asshole, quick to work every angle. Oh, he was good looking, fit, with graying hair that gave him that distinguished executive look, but acted like he was still in college when he'd had a few.

He was tolerated, had a little clique that loved him that included two powerful board members. He was always flirty but respectful with the ladies. My guess is he didn't want to make waves, since he had only been a member less than a year. Keeping up appearances and such.

I'd never seen Marie in anything but jeans and simple sun dresses, which she looked damn good in I have to say. Black hair in an elaborate swirl, understated makeup that made her liquid brown eyes stand out, lipstick and liner that drew you to her perfectly shaped lips that seemed to demand to be kissed. The standard little black dress that showed a little cleavage and a good bit of leg, finished off with four inch heels.

It was the first time I'd ever seem her there. I didn't think he was married. I'd never seen him with a wedding ring on. I noticed he had one on tonight.

He introduced her around. He seemed proud, but proud in a 'look what I've got' way, not 'this is the love of my life'. I had his drink ready by the time he got to the bar. she made a point of perching on the corner stool beside my service access.

"And what would you like, ma'am?"

I was proud of my professional demeanor.

She gave me that smile, because his back was turned.

"Oh, I'm not much of a drinker. Why don't you give me what you'd drink if you were off duty."

"Coming right up."

I handed her a double shot of straight rye, water on the side. She took a sip, nodding.

"Smooth, not too heavy. I was afraid you were going to come up with some fruity concoction with an outlandish name. This is much better."

She turned to her husband.

"He's very good, Winslow. Don't you agree?"

He was busy talking to one of his cronies. He waved his hand dismissively.

"Yes, Jerry is more than adequate. Look honey, I need to step outside, business, you understand? Jerry will take good care of you, won't you, Jerry?"

"As if she was my own, sir." I said with a bland expression. Marie choked slightly on her drink.

"Good, good. Be right back, honey."

I looked at her when he walked off.

.................................................

"Don't look at me like that," she said as soon as no one was near. "I didn't know where we were going until we got here. This is the first time I've ever been here with him."

She giggled.

"Besides, maybe it's a good thing, getting to observe you in your natural habitat. Get some insights that will help me in your seduction."

Luckily I had to walk away then. When I got back, Mrs. Everly was beside her and they were talking like long lost sisters.

"Ah, there you are. May I have a refill, please? Evelyn, would you like another?"

"I believe I would," she said, "Jerry, dear, could you get Aubrey to give me a call? It's Toms' birthday in two weeks, and I want to make it special."

"Consider it done, I'll have her call tomorrow afternoon."

I smiled. Mrs. Everly was in her mid sixties, but had gotten a bit of work done, and looked damn good for her age. She was the one in the nurses uniform at the lingerie party. Tom had shaken my hand the next week, thanking me.

"She's hotter than she's been in years, and said she owed it to you and some woman named Aubrey."

She turned to Marie.

"Marie, you must come by more often. I'll introduce you to the ladies that actually run the place. Don't tell the husbands though, wouldn't do to shatter their illusions. And if you need anything, anything at all, tell Jerry here. I'm not kidding. Pretty much anything, he can get or have done for you. Well, almost everything. He hasn't delivered that Chippendale dancer yet."

"Ah, Mrs. Everly, I'm still looking for the perfect one. You're worthy of the very best."

She giggled and patted my hand. Marie was grinning.

"I may do that, Evelyn. Come more often, I mean. And I may take the offer up on Jerry. I can think of a few things I'd like him to do for me."

I had to walk off.

Winnie the Pooh, as I had mentally nicknamed her husband, finally showed up, had one more drink, and they left. She made a point of shaking my hand, thanking me for my services, present and future. I was sure she put a little extra sway in her hips as she walked out the door, knowing I was watching.

Mrs. Everly was also watching.

"She seems sweet. Don't you think so, Jerry?"

"I concur, Mrs. Everly, I'm sure she's very sweet."

"Don't care much for her husband, though."

I said nothing, but agreed wholeheartedly.

..............................................

"Two weeks, then boom. Three weeks, Jerry, and the chase is on."

She was in a very good mood. I liked watching her smile. It was like the air after a big rain. Every thing was sharper, cleaner, more in focus, prettier because of it.

And then I had a moral slip, and we made love.

It was stupid, but then aren't most accidents? I had stepped outside to talk to a local farmer. With the slow food movement firmly entrenched, I was always working with the chef to bring things to the menu.