It's In The Wrong Catagory

"And I had no idea what Evelyn and her friends were going to do. When you resigned it kind of hit the fan, suffice to say there's a few wives on very short leashes at the club right now. You still have your job, they refused to accept the resignation. The Chairman told me he expected a call as soon as you're back. Boy did he give me hell for a while."

I wondered why it would matter to the chairman what she did, but let it go.

"Marie, I..." I had to stop, she wouldn't shut up. Finally I roared at her.

"MARIE! BE QUIET!"

She stopped immediately, but before I could start she started again, tears falling.

"This is where you tell me we'll never be together. I get it, I just....."

In exasperation, I figured the only way to shut her up was to occupy her mouth with other things, so I started kissing her. Hard. It took her a second to catch on, then she returned them, even harder. I was pretty sure our lips were going to be bruised. When we broke she looked at me with glistening eyes.

"Is that what it takes to stop you talking?"

"If it is, I'll never shut up. I'm gonna talk and talk and t........."

I gave her a little tongue to play with for a few minutes. When we broke I saw the beginnings of a smile. She opened her mouth but I put my fingers on her lips.

"Enough, or next time I spank you. My turn to talk, all right?"

She sniggered.

"That's not much of a threat, but okay, I'm all ears."

"I was about to tell you the other night that I want us to go out, be seen, see if we can take this anywhere. Then you showed up with a date and then the ladies at the club tried to blackmail me and I just lost it and....."

That was all I got out when I had a tongue jammed into my mouth. After a while, we let our tongues and fingers do the talking.

Clothes came off slowly, with care, then ripped with haste. She was smooth as a baby, I stroked her lightly while she moaned and giggled.

"I shaved it the day after I had him served, for you, ooh baby, yes, right there. Oh, that's so good honey, keep it up."

I stopped cold. She looked at me in surprise.

"Are you going to talk when we make love?"

She gripped my erection.

"No baby, I'm not. I intend to scream."

And she did, for most of the night. I made hardly any noise at all, because it was so intense it took my breath away. My knee ached like hell, but I didn't care.

I woke to her rustling around in the kitchen. She was naked, except for an apron. I wrapped myself around her from behind. She tilted her head back for a kiss, and we were just getting into it when the doorbell rang. I grabbed a robe and she ran into the bedroom.

It was the chairman. Well, this would be interesting.

He didn't wait for an invitation, walked right past me.

"Do I get the offer of coffee?"

I finally got over my surprise.

"Of course, sir. Cream, sugar?"

"Black'll do. Where the hell have you been? Your assistant is an idiot who can't handle pressure. Your Suzanne is a treasure, if it hadn't been for her and the chef the place would have collapsed."

"Didn't you get my email?"

"Oh, that joke. We had a good laugh before tearing it up. Think your knee will be up to returning in a couple of days? I think that's about as long as Suzanne can hold out before she snaps and kills him."

Just as I thought it couldn't get any more surreal, Marie came out of the bedroom, wearing a tee shirt and nothing else. She walked up and kissed the chairman on the cheek before grabbing a cup.

"Hi, Daddy. Talked sense into your future son in law yet?"

I know I looked like a deer caught in headlights. Marie pounded the table laughing while the Chairman grinned.

"I wish I'd have remembered to bring my phone out with me. You should see your face."

The Chairman finally laughed.

"Call me John. After all, if things work out we'll be seeing a lot more of each other. And Marie, remember your lesson. I know he's a little slow, but he'll get around to asking you soon, I'm sure. Now, I have to go to work, and you need to clean up the mess you caused when you left. And if anybody asks, you were off having therapy on your knee. I'll see you at the club, tonight."

He patted me on the back, leaning in so she couldn't hear.

"Ask her soon. She's made herself a fool over you, help her regain her dignity."

"I'll get right on that. I promise," I said softly, so she couldn't hear.

She was eying us suspiciously, wondering what we were saying.

We showered together, played a little,tried showering together again, gave up and made love, before showering again, separately. I don't think I was ever as clean in my life.

.................................................

Suzanne and Aaron did everything but roll out a red carpet in front of me as I walked in, they were so happy to see me back. Micheal, the assistant manager, almost kissed me.

"I've discovered something about myself. I'm not a leader. When you get better, can I go back to being a regular bar tender, please?"

I assured him he'd have a place with us, and got down to business.

I worked steadily until nearly seven, when Marie walked in.

She gave me a big kiss in front of everyone. No one seemed surprised, and many were grinning.

"Dinner break, love. Have to keep your strength up, for rehab and such."

I followed without argument into the dining room. She had preordered. I looked at her.

"Aaron knows what you like. I'm just maximizing us time."

We talked about trivial things for a bit, enjoying the meal. Over coffee, we got serious.

"All right, spill. Why didn't you tell me who your dad was?"

"You were already sensitive about money and position. I can imagine your reaction when I said, 'by the way, my dad is the Chairman of the Board' where you work."

"Now, let's talk about more pleasant things, like something you might want to ask me, maybe."

I smiled at her hopeful face.

"In good time, my beauty. First there's that pesky little divorce to finish."

She frowned.

"Can you believe the asshole wants counseling? What does he hope to gain? Never mind, I'll answer myself. A better split. He nearly had a heart attack when we showed him how much of what he'd hidden from me we'd found, including the offshore account and the exact amount on deposit."

"My lawyer says to let it play out. If he see's we're not in a hurry. he may cave and come to terms sooner. It would be best not to let it leak we're seriously involved. Kind of hard to keep that a secret, now."

I looked to see what she was staring at. The Big Three, barreling down on us at full speed. I stood, graciously offering them a seat. To my surprise they declined.

"We're just here to apologize. What we did was wrong, something our husbands reinforced strongly. We should never had interfered. Forgive a few old ladies who were trying to help love along a little faster?"

I looked at them strongly.

"No." They looked at me in shock. I tried to savor the moment before I couldn't help it and smiled.

"I can't forgive someone who gave me a kick in the butt that sent me in the right direction. I owe you. And thank you. Thank you a lot."

They started smiling, decided they did want to chat, and sat. After a few more minutes I looked at my watch and rose.

"Ladies, as much as I enjoy the company I'm in, I have to go back to work. I hope the remainder of your evening is pleasant."

They insisted I kiss each one on the cheek, except Marie, who pulled me into a full kiss.

The older ladies giggled when she told me she'd see me at home.

"Thank goodness this is resolved. Now ladies, I'll leave you to spend a little time planning my future with no regard or input from me, because it's really working well so far. Don't you agree, Marie?"

The whole table glowed red and I walked off. I felt like whistling.

Marie thought I was far enough away not to hear them.

"So, Aunt Evelyn, what's on your mind?"

"Why wedding plans, dear. What else."

I was halfway across the room when I heard that. I turned, to see Marie with her hand to her mouth while the others laughed. I smiled at her and she relaxed.

Going back to work, I wondered if I ever had any chance at all once she decided she wanted me. Probably not.

................................................

The divorce finally came through, five months later. He fought it, forced counseling. When he had exhausted every option and even his lawyer told him he was wasting time, he started to bargain.

Seemed they owned three car dealerships. He had one when they married, and with her money they invested in two more. That was what led to his traveling.

In the end, he got to keep his original dealership, all the apartments, office buildings, their old home, and his not so hidden bank account.

She got the Ford/Hyundai dealership, and the Buick/Honda/Subaru dealership, along with a few investments and a little cash. By a little I mean a lot.

The day it was final I went with her to court. Surprisingly, he attended also. He kept looking over at us, while Marie kept giving me little public displays of attention. He was about to explode by the time we left the courtroom.

Charging up to us in the hall, he was practically screaming.

"YOU BITCH!The bar tender? You're kidding, right? The FUCKING BAR TENDER! You probably ratted me out! I'm gonna fucking kill your gold digging ass."

I pushed a shocked Marie away from me, taking the scene in. The baliff and a deputy sheriff in the hall were too far away to reach him. His lawyer was there, but there was no way he was getting between us.

I let him come, sidestepped his lunge, pushing him off balance, smiling when he crashed head first into the wall. He jumped up to find me standing over him, ready. I hit him in the gut, hard.

As he lay there gasping, the cops got there, tasers drawn. He just didn't understand the concept of quit while you're losing, cussed me again, and knocked the aging baliff down trying to get to me. By then a state trooper was there, and he was tasered so much he lit up like a Christmas tree. He was still convulsing while they handcuffed him.

I declined to press charges, but the DA went after him for assaulting the baliff and creating a disturbance. He got three weekends in jail and two hundred hours of community service. I'll see him every once in a while in an orange vest, picking up trash on the side of the road. I always blow and wave.

.................................................

Her father came to see me.

"I hear there's to be a wedding in late June. True?"

"Yes," I smiled. "I'd ask you for her hand, but I'm afraid it's to late, she already Mom for mine."

"Good. I've always liked you, Jerry. You did a good job, in ways I would have never thought of. You'd make a master politician. You would have made a terrific club manager. Too bad, really?"

I was stunned.

"What exactly are we talking about here?"

He seemed surprised.

"Why, your resignation, of course. Can't have my son in law working here, it would be a conflict of interest. Wouldn't do at all."

"So, if I marry your daughter, I have to resign?"

"Afraid so."

I slumped down. This had been my dream for a long time. Silly maybe, but my dream nonetheless. I shook myself. No job would ever be worth Marie.

"Good thing I'm marrying money, I suppose."

He stopped smiling.

"Let me get this straight, I will never allow my daughter to have a husband she has to keep up."

He paused, gauging my reaction.

"Besides, you have a job. With me. I have to keep an eye on the gold digger she married."

I looked up in surprise. He had a huge smile on his face.

"I've watched you, Jerry, as you worked your way up. You never slacked, took on more than your share, continually found ways to make this club better. You paid for and earned your diploma without help. You're probably the most moral man I know, and underneath your calm exterior is a core of iron. You set goals, establish a timeline, and accomplished every thing you set out to do. You can be proud of yourself, son. I know I am."

He leaned forward, until we were almost nose to nose.

"I built a good business, Jerry. A lot of people depend on me for their livelihood. It's a big responsibility."

"That being said, I want you to learn the business. I'll work you harder than anyone else, start you pretty low down the totem pole, make you earn every promotion. And when you're ready, I'll turn it over to you, in trust to my grandchildren, and retire, knowing there's a steady hand at the helm. Can you handle that?"

I laughed as I shook his hand.

"I don't know, but I'm sure I'll find out."

................................................

So it came to pass that on a sunny Saturday afternoon in June, Marie Patterson[she had taken back her maiden name] became Mrs. Jerry Stone, in front of most every member of the country club, my family and friends. Mom was especially happy. She had been recruited by Evelyn to help with mother of the bride duties, and just before she came out to walk down the aisle, she shared a secret with both of them.

"I know it's my day, Mom," she said to my mother, "but I want to give you a gift."

She handed her a envelope, with an invitation inside. Mom still has it. A birth announcement.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jerry Stone take great pleasure in announcing the birth of their son/daughter on or about December 15, Constance Evelyn[my mom and her aunt] or John Edward[her dad and mine]Stone. Her parents are pleased to say her nickname will be 'twelve'."

Mom and Evelyn cried through the whole service.

The pregnancy was a mutual decision, if you count Marie going off birth control and not telling me the day I gave her a ring.

She had told me the night before the wedding.

"We both agreed we wanted children. I'm close to the danger zone in age, and I want at least two, so they'll have to be close together. We just can't afford to waste time."

So I was extremely happy for two reasons as I watched her float down the aisle.

................................................

Connie was followed by Johnny sixteen months later. Marie declared the factory closed, and had her tubes tied.

John worked me like a dog, giving me every dirty job, but I never complained, and forbid Marie to. Seven years later we held a big retirement party at the club, and the next week I watched as my name was put on the door marked 'president'.

Mom loved telling everyone she had a bakers' dozen when it came to grandchildren. She really hit it off with Evelyn, and after Dad died three years ago she seemed to spend more and more time at our house, hanging out with her at the club while Marie and I worked.

We had bought some acreage and built Marie her 'kid friendly' dream house. I came home four years later to see heavy equipment parked at the far edge of the property, and Marie and Mom were talking to a guy in a hard hat. I wandered over.

"What are we building?"

Marie didn't even look up from the plans she was holding.

"A mother in law cottage."

"For who?"

She looked up from the papers with an exasperated expression while Mom pretended not to laugh.

"My mother in law."

................................................

Marie was CEO of her own company, and had added a third dealership, in direct competition with her ex. Winnie the Pooh didn't have a very good life after they divorced. They threw him out of Briarwood for his little stunt of using my name in his affairs, leading to the confrontation.

He joined another club three towns over. He learned a little from his mistakes, and wife number two and three signed prenupts, but still made out when his infidelity was exposed. Marie tells me he's living with a woman seventeen years his senior.

She's very wealthy, but refuses to marry him, and keeps him on a very short leash.

................................................

I know what people say about me. I married money. Slept my way to the top. That I'm henpecked. I'm sure if Marie heard anything like that she'd straighten them out pretty quick.

"He's the sweetest man in the world, and goes along with what I say because it makes me happy and he really doesn't care. But when he says no, no means no, and I respect that."

Sometimes she rubs her bottom unconsciously, I've actually followed through on the spanking promise a few times. There's something decidedly erotic about having a CEO draped across your lap, her bare bottom red, snuffling and promising to be a good girl. Of course, I make sure I rub lotion on it later, and that always lead to what Marie calls hierarchy sex. Sometimes I think she pushes me deliberately, especially if she's stressed.

Anyway, they don't say it to my face. Everyone who knows me, everyone that matters, knows the truth. Screw everyone else.

I prefer to think I married the woman of my dreams, and all the rest is just side benefits.

I have to go to the club now. Ive been elected a to the board of directors. I know, my father in law is still the chairman, nepotism rules.

He's confided to me he will be leaving it soon. He finally found someone he says is the equal to his late wife. I'm pretty sure I'm going to like my new mother in law, I've known her for as long as I can remember. Marie laughs and says we're in the unique situation. My mom will also be my mother in law, and her step mom will be hers.

.................................................

As always, thanks for reading. Comments, public and private, are always welcome.

Sorry about the title, I couldn't resist.

Q