J and J

I almost burst out laughing at her audacity. She actually wanted me to believe she had hurried home and that I wasn't home. Unless I told her exactly what I had been doing I really couldn't call her bluff. So I lied to cover her lie. "You were so upset when I called you that I decided to go out and get something to eat after I made a cold sandwich and cancelled the reservations. I wanted a warm meal and some kind of company and you weren't here and I don't cook so I had to go out." I let myself weave a little as I stood tall as I could.

Her eyes narrowed again. "How much have you had to drink tonight?"

"Obviously not enough since I still understand what you are getting at. I had a couple of shots before I left and a couple with my meal and now again when I got home. Over 3 or 4 hours it has not been that much." Amazingly enough she didn't believe me.

"Bullshit, you are slurring your speech and you can't stand up without almost falling down. How dare you drive while drunk. You have already been busted once this week for DUI and now you are flirting with danger again."

I decided to snicker a little. "Flirting with what? You forget that I am an old man and not able to attract any one so why am I flirting and who am I flirting with?"

She started to get even more red in the face. I continued. "Who was I flirting with? Was she good looking or a dog? Oh well, maybe I will get a dog-faced girl to go out with me. All pussy cats are grey in the dark you know. At least I will be getting some sex." I started to chuckle at my own joke and JoAnna stomped off to the bedroom and slammed the door.

Oops, looks like I will have to bed down somewhere else. Darn it all, I thought I was being rather witty. She just didn't have any sense of humor anymore. I went to one of the other bedrooms, the one farthest away from the master bedroom. I took a shower even though I didn't have any soap and dried off with the guest towel. JoAnna would be pissed but so what else was new?

I slept well and was pleased that she was up and gone when I got up in the morning. I took another shower in the master bath, with soap this time, and got ready for work. I made sure that the rest of the clothes that I would be taking were moved and ready to go. What the hell, I thought, I might as well pack them into a couple of suitcases. We had enough. Soon they were packed and I put them out in a corner of the garage. JoAnna parked next to the interior door so she would not have any reason to look over where I put the suitcases. I went to the bank and set up new savings and checking accounts and moved half of our money out of them. I found out that JoAnna had set up a separate savings account and that her check was deposited into that account and then a set amount was transferred into our joint account every pay period. Since I had no access to the account I had no idea what the balance was but it looked like she was planning on dumping me sometime in the future.

Where was the woman that I had married?

I called and took my name off all of the joint credit cards and had a couple new ones issued in my name only. We usually only kept a small balance on any given card and used them only for emergencies so it wasn't too hard to convince the companies to do as I asked.

I then called and took my name off the utilities for the house. I also made sure that the utilities for the company were only in the company's name. When we started the business we had to have all of the utilities in our names as the company didn't have a credit history yet. I was unsure if they had ever been changed and was glad that they had been. JoAnna couldn't disrupt the business.

I then met with my senior staff. We laid out a new hierarchy of command and set up ground rules for contacting me in event of an emergency. Realistically I felt that I would only be called on whenever a client just couldn't be dealt with in a timely manner and that I would be the final person to try and save the day.

I let them all know what was happening in my private life. Well, just enough knowledge that they understood that JoAnna and I were separating and maybe heading for a divorce. They didn't need to know all the particulars. They understood. Over half of the staff had gone through serious breakups in their personal relationships. Even the gay and lesbian staff were not immune to the vagaries of emotional involvement.

I ended the meeting with the promise of a night out in celebration on Saturday. I felt we were getting that close.

I went back to my office and cleared out a few things that were very personal, awards, prototypes and models and such. They were soon boxed and put into the storage room to be dealt with later.

I was surprised by a phone call from JoAnna at 11:00. Since we were not officially separated yet I had not informed the receptionist to screen my calls. I decided to be civil. I was supposed to be sober during the day after all. "Hello, JoAnna, how are you doing this morning?"

She paused before speaking. "I am sorry, John, but I left before letting you know that we are invited to a wine tasting at Gayle and Lester's home this evening. Can you attend?"

My "Spidey sense" was suddenly tingling again. Was this the night? Was the intention to drug me into submission? And, more importantly, how do I keep out of their clutches? The wine at these doings was pre-poured and brought in on trays. A drug could easily be slipped into one of the glasses and then made sure to be given to me. She was waiting for an answer. "I am looking at my schedule for the day, JoAnna, and I don't see anything for tonight. What time do we need to be there?"

"I am going straight to Gayle's after work but I need you to pick up some different wines so we have a variety to sample. Could you do that and be there at about 7:00?"

"Sure, but what about some supper or dinner, as your friends always call it?"

"One of the reasons I am going early is to help with all of the nibbles. There should be enough and a large enough variety to satisfy most appetites and you can nibble to your heart's content."

Shit. Even more ways to drug someone. I might be able to dodge the wine but how do you dodge the food also? I made the appropriate noises and then hung up. Now what?

If I couldn't come up with a plausible reason to avoid the get-together tonight it would look suspicious. There had not been any invitation for a neighborly event for some time. If it weren't for the fact I was suspicious of all of my neighbors and especially my friend, Amos, I might have fallen for this whole crap.

Since it wasn't going to be in the community building I couldn't spy on the set-up and try to determine how dangerous this would be.

I decided to attend and went to the large bottle shop a few blocks from our community gate. I grabbed a dozen bottles of wine and then went next door to the national chain pharmacy for a moment. With my surprise hidden in my slacks pocket I pulled off my tie and unbuttoned the top button on my shirt. I needed to get casual.

I parked my car at the house and walked over to Gayle and Lester's with the two large totes of wine. At their house I went around to the back door and entered the kitchen hoping to catch a little conversation before they realized I was there. I was disappointed. The crew in the kitchen was obviously hired for the occasion and wouldn't be privy to any shenanigans. I placed the wine on a convenient counter and then quietly headed for the front rooms.

JoAnna and Gayle were having a hushed conversation that I couldn't overhear and they quickly ended it as Gayle caught sight of me. She waved me over and gave me a quick hug and asked how I had been. I lied and told her I have been feeling fine but that my tummy was a little upset tonight. JoAnna made appropriate remarks about taking care of myself and soon we were discussing the wine and cheese choices. They were also setting up a fondue pot and a variety of cheeses, meats and vegetables. All in all looking quite tasty and innocent.

Too bad I didn't trust anyone anymore. I figured they had not had a chance to doctor any of the wine or foods yet so I grabbed a plate and made an exclamation that I was starved while randomly picking food from the platters on the table. Out of the corner of my eye I could see JoAnna and Gayle exchanging looks. JoAnna tried to get me to wait. "Honey, can't you wait until the others get here? It looks a little discourteous when you just start to eat like this."

"Honeybear, I am too hungry to wait. Work was a bear today and I only got a nibble of a couple of crackers for lunch. I need something or I might not be able to taste much wine before getting too drunk."

She backed off a little. I smiled to myself for getting to the food before it could be spiked. I hoped to get to the wine quickly also. It could wait. There was a coffee pot sitting on the table so I poured myself a cup. This should be safe as it was the only coffee pot on the table.

About 20 minutes later most of the regulars were there and the wine started to flow. There were a couple of new faces. I decided they must be the teachers that JoAnna had promised to bring. I went over and spent a few minutes talking to them. They were young and fresh out of college. I wasn't too concerned about them. They knew what they were getting into.

It was time to go into my act. A few of the wives were trying to get me to drink more wine but I put them off saying my stomach was a little upset tonight. Finally I took one that was offered to me. It was a white wine and I could see a few particles in it. I thanked the woman who had pulled it from the tray. I saluted her and sipped the wine and swished it around my mouth to get the full taste. I turned and slipped the 30 milliliters of Syrup of Ipecac into the glass. I turned back and declared it a great vintage and drained the glass in one fell swoop. I hoped that the Ipecac would start to work before the drug did.

Syrup of Ipecac is supposed to work in about 5 to 10 minutes and at the 5 minute 45 second mark my stomach started to rumble and suddenly I bolted towards the hallway bathroom. I barely made it before I started to puke over and over again. Since I had not begun to have any other symptoms of drugging I felt I might have dodged the bullet. After a few minutes I was wondering at my intelligence level as I had puked up everything I had taken in since about breakfast. I now had dry heaves so I was drinking from the bathroom spigot to get something in my belly. God, my gut hurt.

JoAnna was outside the door asking me if I was okay. I smiled through my pain and the dry heaves. She had never been much help when any of us was ill. She would puke along side me or one of the boys when we were ill so she tended to stay away when someone was heaving their guts up. I had counted on this. When the worst of the stomach contractions were over I asked JoAnna to help me home so I could lie down. She tried to get me to stay there at Gayle's but I convinced her that I needed to get home where I could be comfortable.

I must have gotten a little drug into my system as I was a little dizzy when I stood but I felt I was in total control. I made my apologies to the rest of the group as we headed out. It was only a few houses before we were entering our house. (I refuse to call it a home anymore.)

I let JoAnna get me to the master bedroom and stripped down and into the bed. I told her that I was starting to get dizzy. She made appropriate remarks and even checked my temperature. It was normal. I allowed my speech to get a little slurred as I told her I loved her and thanked her for being my nurse. After a few minutes I faked losing consciousness and waited to see what she would do now. I expected that they had planned for me to become confused and then unable to stop them. I wondered if she would continue her plan even though I had been puking.

She made a few more comforting noises before leaving the room. I could already hear her on her cell phone as she went down the hall. Time to move.

I got up from the bed. It wasn't fast as my gut hurt from all of the puking. I exited the bedroom and snuck down the hall to where I could hear her. ". . .Yes, get over here now. He is ripe and ready. . . No, he isn't puking any more but he is out like a light. We need to do this tonight or wait another week or two. . . Yes, bring the guys who want to put their dicks in his mouth. The pictures will be great." She then hung up.

Tonight was definitely the night and I needed to be elsewhere. I waited until she went into the kitchen and snuck by to the front door. I was thwarted there. Someone was already coming up the walk. I ducked into the closet next to the door and hid behind the coats there.

About five or six people came in carrying cameras and lights. I was going to be a star, NOT. They all quietly made their way up to the master bedroom and I took the opportunity to pop out of the closet and then out the front door.

I ran for the main gate of the community. The gate was closed but it only took a moment to punch in the code for the gate to open. As it was opening I could hear someone from by my house calling my name. What fucking fools they were if they thought I would actually answer. I was a little dizzy so I knew that I couldn't run too fast or I would fall. I hid in the bushes that were on either side outside of the gate until the dizziness cleared a little bit. Someone walked up to the gate while I was hiding and checked to see if there was any sign that I was near the gate. When satisfied he walked away. It was too dark to see who it was but I really didn't care. I just needed to get farther away.

I started out for a convenience store about six blocks away. I would jog for a while then walk. I stayed in the shadows as much as possible. With the dark clothes that I always wore I felt I was blending into the night. Unless caught in silhouette I was probably safe from spying eyes until I got into the parking lot. The lights were very bright there but I didn't go in. I stayed on the periphery and called a cab to come and pick me up.

When the cab arrived I had him drive erratically around the area before taking me to a hotel. There I had a few moments of displeasure when the night clerk didn't want to rent me a room as I obviously didn't have any luggage. It took a call to the manager who checked my credentials before I could go up to the room. I was sweating a little. I was vulnerable in the lobby. JoAnna and friends could give the staff a line of bullshit and hustle me out of the door while everyone was trying to figure out what to do but in my room I could throw the lock and not worry after that.

When I safely locked the door to the room I breathed a sigh of relief. I checked my phone. I had placed it on silent when I arrived at Lester's and had not checked it since. There were multiple phone calls, text messages and voice mails from JoAnna and a couple from other people. I deleted them all. It was no longer important to me what she wanted or thought. The bitch had intended on drugging me and then humiliating me into submission. I was sure that the cameras weren't there to record a porn session but to make sure that I could be blackmailed into anything they desired.

What I didn't count on was a visit by the police. There was a knock on my door at about 1:00 a.m. I hesitated to answer but the knocking continued and I could hear a muffled "Police, open the door." I checked through the peephole and sure enough I could see badges. There were three of them. I opened the door but kept the chain on.

"What can I do for you officers?"

"Please, sir, open the door. We have a report that you were ill this evening. Your wife is concerned that you might have become delirious because she left you in bed and then you were gone when she came back a few minutes to check on you. We finally had to ping your phone to locate you."

"Well, officer, did you go to the house?"

"Yes, officers did go to your house to take the report and get a description of you."

"Were there a bunch people there?"

"I believe so. Your wife led us to understand that she had called the neighbors to do a search around the neighborhood before calling us in."

"Did your fellow officers notice if these concerned neighbors were carrying cameras and lights?"

He nodded. "It was noticed but not questioned."

"Well, officer, I have a tale to tell you but I know it will be hard to believe. I don't want any investigation since the story is bizarre but I assure you that I am of sound mind at this moment in time." I opened the door and asked them to come in. I had rented a suite so there was ample room for them to sit and be comfortable as I told them my story. I got them something to drink from the mini-bar, non alcoholic of course, before I started and then told them my whole sad story.

They interrupted at times to clarify a point but overall listened without looking too incredulous. I guess they had heard similar tales over the years. The final convincing was when I played them the video I had taken. It seemed like so long ago but was only a week or so since this part of the crazy whole deal had started. I was beginning to wonder if I was losing my mind. So much change in so little time could make one delusional.

One of the officers then informed me that they could take everything I had said and the video to the district attorney but they saw one of the judges in the video. They felt that the whole thing would disappear into the shadows. I agreed. "Look, boys, I only told you my whole tale of woe so that you could go back and report to my wife and her friends that I am okay. I sincerely hope that you do not have to report my location or I will be forced to change hotels and destroy my phone."

They assured me that they were only interested in my welfare. As an American citizen with rights they could not force me to contact my wife or go home. They wished me well and left.

Chapter four—Leaving

I slept well. It might have been the drug or maybe the thought that this whole crap would be done with soon but I slept well. I got up and ordered room service and then partook of a balanced and wholesome breakfast. I then called my sons and told them I was going on a long vacation. I told them that their mother was not going with me as she felt she couldn't leave the school system for that long. They knew her commitment to the schools and bought the story. I promised to keep in touch.

I called the office and found out that JoAnna had been there multiple times already. I informed them that the plan was going into effect a little early and that I probably wouldn't be back in the office in the conceivable future. They all agreed and put the plan into motion.

I was now free. I checked the RV dealership and the trailer would be ready the first of the week. I just had to hide out a few more days. It gave me some time to work. I visited my cell phone dealer and bought a new phone with a new number and transferred my contacts. The old phone would be kept charged and ready to become a decoy if needed. I would use it to contact the boys until time to dump it.

I hid out the weekend without any difficulty. I had put the room in the trust's name and JoAnna didn't know the trust even existed. The RV and bike were the same way.

Saturday night I met with my employees at another hotel and we had a great time except when JoAnna suddenly appeared in the room. One of my employees must have accidently let her know what we were doing this weekend. I couldn't really blame him or her, whomever it might have been, since not all of the staff were privy to the real reason that we were celebrating. The public invitation had been a thank you for the great year we had completed. Only the senior staff knew that it was a farewell to me.