All Comments on 'Jennifer's Longing Ch. 06'

but it boils down to the writer will to make the reader beleive that way of life.hubby is so dumb and wife so smart,don't wash.you write this woman as a whore and hubby can see it and he go for anything.it don't wash.fanasy have to come from some where.

Gee it took a long time for you to show your need for the pathetic male humiliation that you think is erotic - but is really just your sick numb jaded subhuman need to feel demeaned as a wimp male. How sweet liddle sick cuckster.

Basic needs are: writer into helpless male humiliation, a writer created braindead husband, a wife whore whose writer wants a hemungus cock, a few reader sicko's like the writer who require pathetic male humiliation to get excited enough to jackoff as little else excites them enough for erection.

I wonder what causes some writers to think that the wimpie watching male disfunction they adore is appealing to anyone beyond the few sicko's like themselves.

A fetish like this is so low that it is below Pissing in the ranking of below human convention male depravities. Yet this writer feels it warrants all his time and effort for the but .0009% of readers who like him need pathetic male demeanment in the form of self humiliation.

How sad for you and them writer. Get some help soon before the need for helpess male demeanment is a requirement for you to get excited.

An real example of wasted time and talent for so few.

Now, the next thing she needs to convince her husband of is to let Derek impregnate her. Then another small step: move Derek into their house and let the husband keep them all up 100%. Her husband loves her sooo much that he readily agrees and gets Derek ready to fuck her each night by sucking his cock. When she is on the rag, he lets Derek fuck him in the ass. he wears a French Maid costume around the house, cleans, cooks, and serves drinks in the new lovebird's bedroom. He is altered by having his balls and cock removed surgically. This still does not supply Derek's desire for complete control. They take out a 5 million dollar insurance policy on him and kill him. They bury him in the yard and are given a medal for getting rid of such a worthless no good son of a bitch whose only redeeming social value was to provide laughs for the pair of creatures who were his wife and her lover. Both, scum sucking bottom feeders. They both live happily everafter.

Those kind always do.

In 6 chapters, she hasn't given us any reason why she is staying with her husband. She has no respect for him. He obviously doesn't excite her. Why does she go home to him?

You've not only turned your husband into a willing cuckold; your use of the word womb and even talking a little about wanting to have his baby makes it inevitable you will make your husband the ultimate cuckold- giving his name to and raising as his own,, a lovechild his adulterous wife conceives with another man.

I just went back and read the story from the beginning to the current installment in one afternoon. My biggest concern is that your characters started out as somewhat fleshed out personalities, and have now devolved into caricatures...one dimensional representations of their respective fetishes. The wife has not only been consumed by her addiction, but it has become the sum total of her personality in the story. Derek was never much more than a symbol of dominant masculinity with a serious case of insecurity, but at this point, his obsession has nothing to do with the woman, but with the humiliation of the husband. If there was some narrative explanation that would personalize it, it might be interesting, but the dramatic tension has been leeched from the story.

Who remains that we might care about? The husband was never really developed as a character, and the ease with which he was manipulated lends him even less weight as a character worth investing any interest as a reader.

On a related note, the lack of any real remorse or conflicted feelings on the wife's part rings false. Her level of detachment seems more the province of the psycopath, and while addiction can take you to some dark places, it doesn't usually eradicate the conscience.

It would be a lot easier to accept her long term involvement in this obsession if she bore some emotional weight of conflict, or did something in the story to validate the love she says she has for her husband. A marriage is not entirely about sex, but you've shown us nothing to indicate that there is any aspect of merit in the marriage or the spouses' relationship.

You've put a lot of time into this story and you were up front that there would be some cliches in it. At the same time, with the promising start, I didn't expect that the majority of the story would just be the reguritation of them. I think you may be too far down the road to salvage the story's plot in terms of interest or dramatic tension, much less invest some depth into your characters. It's a shame. This had the potential to be a more thoughtful and well put together story where you could still have explored the themes you've put here.

I've been wrong before. One can hope. Good luck.

Guess I didn't click the right radio button so my previous message came in as anonymous, but in case it happens again, the previous comment was from MrHands.

Thanks

Mr. Hands comments were intriguing.

First, there has from the beginning been only one real character in the story - Jennifer. The husband and Derek have been, at best, charicatures - plot devices.

Second, yes, Jennifer is devolving. But, I'd argue, a person whose obsession gets the better of them, devolves.

Anyway, just a thought.

This is a good story and I can't wait for more. The evolving relationships of the wife with the lover and husband, which seems to be heading toward pregnancy, is great. The dom sub-power relationship is entertaining to say the least.

I read all kind of stories, and this one for some reason pressed my buttons. And I don't want to over think it, just enjoy it.

Hurry and write more!!

MD

I do think that this is a piss poor story and I do not like the material. All of his stories are the same: a woman with little self control or self worth debasing her herself and by proxy her partner. They just show selfish behavior with little regard for anything and no consequences to speak of.

"Oh I am a happily married woman but in a short time I can be turned into a totally self absorbed bitch.", or whore, or slut, or whatever degrading term you want to use.

Gee where have I heard that before???

The author is right, this is a work of fiction and in the Literotica forum, you can and should be able write what you want.

I just think that the characterizations in his stories reveal a basic meanness in the author.

You have a user: Derek

A person who thinks she is dominating and manipulative but is just being used: Jennifer

And of course the functional asswipe who cleans up all the crap they generate: the husband (Does he even have a name? Does he need one?)

Is there anybody to care about in this?

I do not like the message: If you care about your partner (in this case, if you are a good husband) but she runs across someone with a bigger dick, sorry you lose, she will go for the dick. If you want to keep her you will have to lose your own, figuratively speaking, because not only does size matter but it is all that matters. If that is the case, she should just find herself a convenient farm animal and shack up with it. But the reason I think the story sucks is that everything is in 2D, the people in the story are just cartoons.

If that is all there is to your characters, fine, make it entertaining; this was just annoying.

"Guess what, my husband is a wimp because he treats me like a person instead of a tool to be used for his pleasure"

With that one line I think I just plagiarized your six chapters, sorry about that.

of potential readers, it really wasn't necessary. This was just a really bad story. No reasoning behind your female lead's behavior, and no sympathetic characters.

disrespect and lacking love for her husband. I really dont get why she is even involved with her husband at all? Except perhaps to humiliate him over and over and to have him raise another mans child.

This is a porn site, so there is porn. These stories are made up fantseys to turn people on, not real life. In real life, this wife would have been busted and in the street several chapters ago. In real life threesoms with our boss or best friend don't happen. In real life, husbands are not turned on by their wives being a slut, being gang banged,having sex with black guys or any of the other perversions that dominate this site. Somtimes I think both writer and readers forget this is fantsey, so read it forget it and read something else. Thanks

I found this series of stories to be one of the most erotic I've ever read on this site. I especially enjoy stories from the point of view of a woman. And I enjoyed her manipulation of the men in her life. Perhaps it is best to let your readers imagine what happens next but I'd like to know what the author has in mind. How far can she take both her husband and her lover?

Of course, I'm not in "her" shoes. But a person who truly loves someone does not wish to humiliate that person or hurt that person. You could argue her husband secretly craves humiliation and she sensed this and is now doing what he secretly desires, etc. etc. But I would argue she only loves herself. She wants some type of security (the security of being married) and she also wants to play. Derek is a total shit, from what little we know of him. My response to Derek is unmentionable in this forum; that's how horrible my fantasy response would be to his actions. My wife would get something equivalent. Do I make myself loud and clear?

She isnt a wife!

let her parent know what she become a disgrace to them and herself and lost respect for herself.to the writer i hope you can justisy your reasons and stand by your work.

it's their nature since the cave men lined up behind the woman and pulled a train hoping that one would get her pregnant to further the race. Naturally it got to be as time evolved that the men began to have thoughts that they were the main man. The prime cave man. Since then men have always tried to cut the other man out by any means. Your story illustrates this completely. I will not do as others and diss her. I will not call him a wimp. Men are just happy to find their little niche in the world and having a woman they think is theirs , they turn their brains off. Any man who lets it go on and on never suspecting that his wife is fucking others is no man...well he's a typical husband palying a role in an age old drama. You did well in describing this woman and this husband.

It's always thrilling to read stories of cheating wives although this one lacks eroticism due to lack of erotic dialogues and verbalizations during sex plays.

There is one thing that I find almost incredible here. The hubby had for sure kissed the wife many times before and very familiar with the taste of her mouth, tongue and saliva. How come, then did he not detect the taste of cum in her mouth? More so, the taste of a man's cum in her pussy? Cum oozing from her pussy should be very evident but he did not notice it? Oww Shucks! Is he a nitwit or moron? Obviously NOT!

Then this story seem to have no ending.

The idiot wife, the wronged husband, or the asshole that uses married women? All of them have mental problems but my guess is the wife is the one that would have to be called insane, she is the one ruining her life.

for a sequel ?

she is an excellent manipulator of her husband but is just a pawn of little derek. Little derek, who never grew up to be a man, uses women as toys or games. What she doesnt realize once her marriage is destroyed either by divorce or by making her husband a cuck he will abandon her and move on to the next dimwitted younger girl. Women like this wife are a dime a dozen, yes there are lots of them, but none are really wife/mother material. They are sluts or whores or both and eventually will either get into drugs, get some very bad STD, HIV, or other disease, or be killed by their user when finished with them. One good use for women like this is to use them as bargaining chips with native tribes in unsettled land.

i preferred the ending by ? where husband found out and played along, and wife though she had it all under control. husband sees them and leaves once the wife and lover are involved. there is the paperwork in her car, lover says "go" and wife is left without either. derek deserved her, where she too would be replaced by another conquest, eventually. husband deserved better

The essence of a "Loving Wives" story lies in two things, I think: 1) A woman so overcome by discovering the sexual animal within her that she is willing to risk everything she has worked her whole "rational" life to build in order to get, again and again ... and 2) The illicitness, the naughtiness, the sin of it.

Other comments about how she should leave her husband and move in with Derek simply miss the whole point! Where's the nasty fun in that? It would satisfy condition #1, maybe, but not #2 at all!

I would really love to read maybe two more chapters of this story. I think Derek should make her fuck his friends, and I think she should finally enjoy the humiliation/sex game so much that she somehow makes Derek suffer the same fate.

I actually think that Jennifer is in love with Derek. He has almost conquered the husband and will when Jennifer becomes pregnant with Dereks child. At this point Jennifer will want Derek full time in the child's life and I'm sure that Derek will realize that also. Now what to do about the husband. Jennifer stated earlier that she felt he was emasculated and if she didn't want to divorce hubby they can utilize him as some sort of love servant to both Jennifer and Derek. He could also be like a nanny to the child. This way Jennifer would have the best of everything. This was a neatly planned out tale which was explored perfectly. Thank you for sharing the well written tale.

Where did they come up with the need to say sperm instead.

They also use orgasm rather than climax. I wonder why?

This guy is a typical Brit writing a typical cuckold story making the characters go from being human to being caricatures of humans; little humanity left in them. Commenting on writing skills is useless here. At least he didn't use the word realize (realise in Brit speak) 100 times. And he knows mostly how to use contractions. He also used "arranged" rather than "organized"; jolly good show.

So I won't even attempt a commentary on the authors skills. I will just say I found it to be an arousing story which kept my interest throughout in spite of it's length. Truth is I prefer longer stories and wouldn't have minded another chapter or two of this one. Well...I am being complimentary so I suppose that is a critique of the writers abilities because after all, if a story maintains your attention level, excites you as a sex story should, and does so without butchering the english language, isn't that enough to warrant some accolades. So hooray for the brits, warts and all. j

. . . or so it seemed to me.

Turd

Because the author mislead the readers. Only at the end did the author show that the story was about humilation instead of cheating. Such dishonesty by an author deserves a the lowest rating.

5 *****

thankfully there is no submission from this guy since 2009. hope the imbecile has left us for good.

I really enjoyed this series. To me the first chapter was the best, with the walk from the gym to Derek's apartment the pinnacle of the series. But I read it all in one sitting and was very satisfied. Wish you would have continued.

I'm a huge fan of your work now. Will get to reading more of it soon. :)

Oh well, no payoff for the loyal readers. Jennifer insists that she loves her husband, but admits she would leave him if Derek asked her? The last 3 chapters were just silly. Nice try, but next time don't drag the readers through 6 chapters. We get it; she hates her husband.

I hope you will continue the series, with Derek pushing her envelope further and further. He could pass her around to his friends, or make her woek as a whore for him, or...????? Please give it a try

she is a worthless cheating slut if it was my wife they would both be dead.

she doesnt deserve to be married and should be a tattoo on her whole body that says slut unfaithful whore.

And marry Derek? If she despises her husband so much and loves Derek, then why not simply get a divorce?

Come on, where's part 7? Gotta have an ending! :)

sorry woman and hubby just as bad.where i come from men kill to protect their family.

I really hope your comment isn't fully true, but with a 50% divorce rate i'd say you're not far off. I guess right and wrong just doesn't mean much to a lot of people any more!? It's really very depressing!

And its very true what they say, if you go black you NEVER get your self respect back !

And how can someone copulate with smelly monkey ??

After you left to whore yourself out, your husband packed your stuff in the usual garbage bags, put it out on the front porch and locked you out. The Process Server was waiting to serve you the divorce papers when you got home. Bye Bye Bitch!

All six chapters are excellent!!!!!

Thanks for sharing such amazing story with us ;)

you're just mad because your tiny little boy cock is measured in "cm" instead of inches. The only smelly monkey I know is your dad. You calling black men smelly monkeys is funny coming from a race that smells like wet dogs. Just cause your wife, mother, aunt, sisters, nieces, cousins, grandmothers and your gay uncle lust after black men is pissing you off, because you don't feel loved. BOO fucking WHOO! Don't be a hater, "Tiny" it'll be alright. I'm sure there is a new born some where that won't laugh at your tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little package.

When she finds out that 'Derek' owns a half dozen married sluts, and she's just one of them? Or when he won't fuck her any more unless she turns tricks for him?

Although, this story could be said to have been well written. It quite simply is a fetish story for cuckold relationship admirers. I would like to see this site separate this type of story to another category. I don't feel it belongs in this category.

There is not a person in these stories that I would trust in business, in friendship, in marriage, or to raise a child. In the next chapter it would be great to see the husband grow a pair, or at least walk away. I don't think either Jennifer or Dreck are redeemable.

The same as in part 1...Just this time she could treak the loving husband in let her have a lover!!! She had been fucking the lover for a long time, but the treaked husband asked her: "So you are sure Derek is the guy?"...Love blinds and he would be always blind to her requestes...

You really hit the mark with this. Thanks for a very, very hot story!

And all you guys out there with nothing but anger, bitterness and swearing to unload on the author: I really feel sorry for you, and hope you aren't so alone as you sound.

what's good in being a cuck wimp?

(a) You had been cheating and lying to hubby by not telling him what had been going on so it wasn't consensual

(b) you would have left hubby if Derek had asked so this contradicts you saying you loved him.

(c) you surreptitiously "ambushed" him with lover's cum which shows loss of care or respect.

I'm not saying that cucking or sharing can be devoid of love, just not the way you have done it.

I can't even do anything. I just need the next chapter...

Another slut wife trying to bring home some disease to her husband.Or maybe a pregnancy? Forget moralizing. Forget that this is a fictional story. After all you could have little green men from Mars landing on the White House lawn if you like. What made this a lousy story is the actions of the characters. First off - not a single likeable character anywhere. Certainly the writing wasn't sexy or erotic. Lacking those things it just wasn't fun or entertaining to read. And at the end of the day that's all that matters. You failed to write something entertaining, regardless of the subject matter.

No stars for this absolute drivel.

Or your last line would be an outright lie! And never likely to happen!

More!

A creative twist on cheating and chucking. Outstanding and clever

Well written, nasty yet believable characters, and a different perspective from the norm.

I get through chapter 6 and you leave me hanging with a hard on ? Waiting for my Climax !

don't stop here

Derek is a great villain!

what next!

taking wife away for weekends? week vacations?

humiliating hubby is cruelly amazing - excellent

when does he demand wife stop sexing hubby - ever again?

derek demand hubby not be allowed to even touch wife at some point?

separate bedrooms?

hubby not allowed to even see wife nude again?

hubby not allowed to even cum...ever again?

derek ordering wife to inflict cbt on hubby?

derek move in to wife's bedroom.....or she in with derek?

derek even villainous enough to order hubby castrated ! ?

not chemically either, a hand made penis guillotine with wife pulling the handle?

It's all in the TITLE!!!!

The story ist mostly well written. My favourite part is the manipulation of the husband's sexual wishes.

But to be honest, the comments were almost better. How can a consumer of a porn site don't understand that

- there are very, very different things that arouse different people

- there's a big difference between fiction and reality

- very respectable people can have very immoral fantasies

- an author does not have to be similar to his characters, neither in their likes nor deeds nor morals?

Would you attack the author of a crime story for having a story character killed? Hopefully you wouldn't, because it's just a detail that makes a fictional story like that work. Same with the cheating of the main character here.

Finally I wonder how twisted the minds of those are that read the disclaimer on top, which indicates clearly what to expect, then read the story anyway and then complain that those expectations were really fulfilled. Why do you read stories you can be sure of to hate? Are you masochists? Better not, because you probably wouldn't survive the BDSM section of this site.

But if you're really wanting to examine the push-pull between guilt and desire, then she has to be found out, and face consequences of her actions. That would be her moment of crisis, and a real examination like you say you're interested can begin. It doesn't have to be a BTB, though that is one path. But it has to happen.

I enjoyed this series very much. I think the author did a great job in leading the reader into Jennifers essence. I wish there were another chapter or two. I could see the husband being ok with the "first date" in chapter six since Jennifer will take care of him upon her return. I could also see them continuing and having him watch. After seeing her joy and physical responses to Derek he may become concerned but Jennifer could tell him that she was "acting" or faking orgasms with Derek as a way of making him feel good for helping the married couple live their fantasy. Then when Jen and Derek hook up without the husbands knowledge again the lovers could make fun of the husbands inability to recognize a fully satisfied woman.

I hope TQM continues this great saga.

For once there is no evidence that Derek is black, as far as I can see. A word search for "black" in each episode doesn't come up with him being described as such, only various items of her clothing! Maybe the last line has special significance, that she couldn't wait to get home in spite of her lustfest.

Well you killed your husband let him go You asshole

...hard to believe how the overwhelming majority of commenters are serious morons. It's a story, idiots. aside from the odd typo, or autocomplete generated malapropism, language is well crafted, and flows well. i suspect author to be not a product of usa education. congrats!

...for this cucky wimpy ending? wow...the author sure has a lot of shit floating in his/her brains...cant tell whether the author is male or female...but most likely looks like a man who was castrated when young or a female who was raised by a whore....both ways...please put it in the tags - fucked up author , fucked up story...and hopefully good riddance soonest to this crap

Only one thing to do kick your ass to the curb and when your old with HIV living under a bridge see if Derek’s dick helps you. You like what your husbands money gives you, now it’s gone. You never really loved your husband, allow your husband to have a better life with another wife that really loves him.

Poor cuck letting his whore have a baby with an asshole named Derek.

There are some real idiots who read stories and post opinions within this site. A sample of those morons can be seen in some of the comments below.

People, it's a story ... a "story" that may or may not be true. Do yourself (and us) a favor and accept these writings as such and if you must, comment on how the narrative is written and what improvements the author might make on future submissions. Simply offering a berating suggestion of your disgust of the storyline does nothing for anyone except needlessly absorb precious bandwidth.

Moving forward, offer something that authors can benefit from or ... keep your finger-typed thoughts to yourself.

Well you offered a disclaimer so everyone who read knew what they were getting, a lying selfish bitch wife who hopefully one day will be ruined by her behavior. I guess. you really hate men to make her husband such a puppet. So sad to see such evil people in a story, they are truly terrible.

Please, write more chapters and give continuation to the story

Absolutely wonderful!

Thank you.