Kathy and Gregg

Did you know that the average high school romance lasts about three weeks? Well, Kathy Thomas and Gregg Hollander beat that record by about forty years. They met when she was but a freshman and he a sophomore. From that point they were inseparable. Yes, theirs was that true mythic love that seems to stand the test of time and remain pure.

Now before you go and get misty over this nice sweet couple I have to tell you that Kath and I were married for about thirty of those years and I thought that we actually were happy. Our marriage was satisfying one and when Kathy gave birth to our daughter, Joan, it brought us even closer together. All in all I was a contented man during those years.

Allow me to make some introductions to bring you up to speed on this torrid tale. Me, I'm Thomas Marsh and Kathy is my loving wife as I have already mentioned, for about the last thirty years. As I have also previously mentioned, Kath and Gregg were an item throughout high school and yes she did lose her virginity to Gregg. Now as all high school romances go they eventually come to an end. Only in this case it was more like a temporary hiatus.

As Gregg was a year ahead of Kathy in school he set out to earn his fortune after graduating so that he could marry Kathy. That is the way my wife tells it, and she has told it often over the course of our marriage. Anyway, after leaving school Gregg went to work on the Alaskan pipeline with his uncle and that is where the problems began. It seems that Gregg stopped writing soon after landing there and that left Kath in the lurch for her senior year. She finally ended up going out with some kid named Sam or Simpson or some S name but it wasn't serious as her heart still belonged to her one and only, Gregg.

Kath waited like the dutiful girlfriend but Gregg was absent and not very communicative. Apparently, Gregg really liked working on the pipeline and began a rather nomadic life figuring that his dear Kathy was still waiting for him to make his fortune and sweep her up in his arms upon his return. Well, that didn't exactly happen.

The reality of life is that things move on and nothing ever stays the same. That applied to Kathy also as she went to college, got her degree and met me at a party when she was twenty four. I was a bit older than her at twenty nine but we made a good match. I fell in love with her the moment I met her and I thought she had done the same with me.

Our marriage was fairly normal and the only blemish on our courtship was when a letter arrived two days before our wedding ceremony from Gregg. Just like the prodigal son he was finally coming home and wanted her to meet him. Thank God that Kath's mother talked her out of going to him telling her that her new life beckoned and not to waste herself on that, "Waste-about!" as she referred to him. After some tense emotional moments in which I was worried she actually was going to call off the wedding Kathy finally went through with the ceremony becoming my wife, Mrs. Kathy Marsh.

When Gregg finally showed up it was too late as Kath and I were already on our honeymoon. Gregg, in a fit of despondency apparently enlisted in the Marines.

After the honeymoon we settled into our new lives, Kath as a nurse and me an underwriter for a major insurance company. OK, so insurance isn't glamorous, but it is steady and paid the bills. My marriage was solid but there was only one tiny hiccup that kept recurring. Gregg started corresponding with Kathy and she cheerfully wrote him back. When I asked her if it was necessary she got indignant and said, "Oh Tom! Don't be jealous, he's an old friend who is lonely and in the marines and I am just writing to keep his spirits up."

Well, I can't plead ignorance as I knew he wrote her regularly and I also knew that she wrote him back regularly. Neither her family nor I could convince her to stop writing until she got the letter telling her he had married a girl where he was stationed. That stopped the correspondence and my peace of mind returned. The next three years I think she received three Christmas cards from Gregg and that was it.

During this hiatus from Gregg our daughter was born, Joan. With our child Kathy and I came together like a team of matched mules and worked hard building a home and equity so that Joan would have a good life. Yes, Life was good back in those days with both of us working together to raise and care for our child, but as is always the case, something will always spoil it.

One day a letter arrived for Kathy from Gregg. She never spoke about it but I noticed after that our consumption of stamps started to rise. I deduced that she was writing to Gregg again but I let it go. After all he was off somewhere making the world safe for democracy and I was here making my families world safe from want. If they wanted to write each other it really was their business regardless of how I felt about it.

Eventually Kath began to share some of her information from Gregg with me. He had gotten divorced from his first wife but now had another. He had seen combat and was apparently highly decorated. I listened halfheartedly but Kathy spoke with pride over "her soldier". I corrected her saying that he would be upset being called a soldier as he was a marine. Kathy gave me a cute giggle and said, "Oops! I guess I'd better watch that!" Watching her talk about him really depressed me but I hoped that someday she would finally get over him and focus on her family.

Well, she never did. Gregg stayed in the Marines for thirty years, married and divorced three times and now had enough medals to make General Patton envious. It was with dismay that I realized that while Gregg had become more glamorous in my wife's eyes over the years I had only gotten old and predictable. My one hope was that Gregg, when he was discharged, would settle down somewhere far away from us.

Unfortunately, he didn't and that is where we are now. Joan, our daughter grew up and is now married to a great guy, Frank Campbell. The other great news is that they are expecting their first child. I am now sixty and looking forward to the magic number 65 so I can go off and spend my last few years in peace and retirement. Kathy still looks beautiful and still can make my heart pump fast. Little did I know that my life's tranquility would soon become a thing of the past.

It was a Thursday when I came home to find Kath dressed to the nines telling me that we have a reservation for dinner at seven. At first I thought I had dropped the ball and missed an anniversary or a birthday but after a few quick calculations I knew I hadn't. Well, I played along and went to our bedroom to clean up and try to look somewhat in the same league as Kath.

Dinner was superb and the restaurant was packed which led me to believe that Kath had something else on her mind other than just good food. Towards the end of our meal I looked at her and stated, "OK, you can drop the bomb now I'm in a good mood and will not make a scene."

One of my quirks is that I will never get mad in public. Being in insurance you never lose your cool where it can be seen and it kind of overflowed into my private life. Kath knew this and over the years whenever she had something to say that she felt would upset me she simply took me out to public place to break the news.

Tonight I felt it was bad just by the look on her face. Thirty years together and you get to know how to read your mate. Tonight I was getting bad vibes all over the board and I just knew it was going to ruin my night. She finally spoke the bad news with trepidation, "Tom I think you should know that Gregg is back."

I suddenly felt queasy but I was sure it was not the quality of the food I had just consumed. I stared at her for a few moments waiting for the other shoe to drop but Kath just looked pensively at me. Finally, I broke the awkward silence, "When you say, "back" do you mean as on leave?"

She shook her head from side to side and very quietly spoke, "No Tom, he's not on leave. He's been discharged and he bought a house two streets over from us." With those words my panic level began to rise and I quickly interjected, "And he's going to live there with his what, his third wife?"

Again, she quietly spoke, "No he's gotten divorced again but this time he had to lose some of his pension to her." I tried to quell my anger but I couldn't and I said, "Shit!" just a little too loud. Some of the patrons nearby us looked at me in surprise.

My expletive was not over the fact that Gregg had lost some of pension to his ex but that he had moved close to us and I needed to know his motivation for that. I became more proactive, "Kathy, have you seen Gregg?"

Her expression answered my question succinctly. She hadn't even answered when I fired my next question at her, "When and how Kathy?"

She looked a little queasy too as she answered, "He stopped by our house yesterday to let me know that we were now neighbors."

My heart was beating like mad and I pushed on with my interrogation even while fearing what I may find out, "Did you sleep with him Kath?"

Again her face spoke volumes before she rattled out, "I did Tom but it is not what you think!"

I looked deep into her eyes and almost growled, "What I am thinking Kath is that my faithful spouse has slept with someone other than her husband. Now explain to me how that is not what I am thinking!"

"I did it because he needed me Tom! When he came over he looked so lost. He is suffering from the PATS or something and with the divorce he needed me terribly, so I tried to help him. I love you Tom, but I realize that I still love Gregg too."

Well, there it was, my wife had slept with Gregg and he was using PTSD and a divorce as his entrance ticket back into Kath's heart and her vagina. I looked her straight in the eyes and spoke as decisively as I had ever spoken to her in our marriage, "Alright Kath, damage done. We can move past it and get our lives back but you can NEVER sleep with him again! Do you understand me?"

She looked at me with tears in her eyes as she spoke softly but with determination, "I can't promise that Tom. I love him and he needs me even more than you do."

I was shocked to hear those words coming from her mouth but was cognizant of the fact that a public restaurant was not the place to air our dirty laundry. I called the waiter over and asked for the check.

Ten minutes later we were in the car and heading home when I pushed it again, "Kath, how can you sleep with him knowing that I am your husband? Didn't you mean any of those vows we took together nearly thirty years ago; you remember the part about forsaking all others?"

She openly started crying now and between her sobs she blurted out, "I am sorry Tom but he needs me and we have found each other again! I can't bear the thought of losing him...or you!"

I was stymied, what could I do or say that would make her give him up. With anger tingeing my voice I spoke loudly, "Well then what do you propose? We alternate weekends? He gets you for New Year's but I get you for Christmas? Come off of it Kath! You can't have two men!"

She stopped sniffling and looked at me with a strange look on her face, "What about a leave of absence Tom?"

Now it was my time to be confused, "What the hell are you talking about Kath?"

She warmed to the subject, "Look Tom, remember about 18 years ago when you took a leave of absence for a year to go back to school and get your master's degree? Well, you went, did what needed to be done and then came back to your old position and everything was fine!"

I shook my head in irritation, "Kath, how can you equate my getting a degree that would benefit the company and my family with your liaison with this shithead which only benefits the two of you?"

At this point I pulled into my driveway and switched off the engine. Kath reached out and lovingly touched my face as she made her plea, "Tom I missed my last year of high school with Gregg and if I had had that year we might not be facing the situation we are in tonight. Give me that year Tom and I will get Gregg out of my system and I promise you I will be the best wife I can for you. I need that time Tom, please!"

I was sad, hurt, shocked and depressed and made the worst mistake of my life by allowing this breach of faith, "OK Kath, if that is what you want, you just go ahead and do what you please. But, and this a big but, don't ask me to sanction this and just to be clear for the entire year I don't want to see you or hear from you in any capacity. Is that understood?" I was hoping that the draconian parameters I put on her leave of absence might just check her enthusiasm but it was to no avail.

It appeared that she had not heard a word I said after OK but she reached over and kissed my cheek saying only, "Thank you Tom, you'll see! You won't regret this!"

I shook my head and said, "Too late, I regret it already."

That night she wanted to make love to me but I just couldn't. Thinking about her with Gregg made me sick and I didn't want to be physical with her. As we prepared for bed I grabbed my pillow and told her I was sleeping in the guest room. I could see that this hit her hard and I was glad because maybe now she would reconsider where this leave of absence would lead to.

The next morning I awoke and prayed that last night was just an aberration and that Kath would think differently in the light of day. I was wrong. As I came into the kitchen she was making breakfast and looking like she had just won the lottery. She smiled at me and pointed to the calendar we had on the wall. I couldn't help but notice that today was circled with a bold black line, the date, June the 6th.

I sat at the table and thought of the irony of that date; in 1944 thousands of soldiers and sailors had sought to free Europe from a tyrant. Today, I lost my wife to another oppressor. Kathy was almost giddy as she brought me my breakfast. As she set it down in front of me she spoke, "I know you are worried my love but one year from today I will return to you and be yours alone. I really need this time to work it through and get him out of my system and I promise you that you won't be sorry." She fairly beamed at me as she spoke again, "I called Gregg this morning while you were still sleeping and told him all about you allowing me a leave of absence and he is picking me up in an hour."

My heart was sinking with every word she spoke but I had to give it one more shot. "Kath, you don't have to do this and I wish you would give it more time before you do this foolish thing. You can't really be sure that in one year you will have gotten over this clown. You need to just put him out of your head and work on getting our marriage back on track. I am asking you to not take a chance on destroying us."

She smiled at me as if I was daft saying sweetly, "Tom, I know how much you love me by giving me this time. Trust me, I know what I'm doing and in the end I will be back and our marriage will even be stronger. Now, I have to finish packing sweetheart so finish your breakfast." And like that she walked out of the kitchen and for all intents and purposes our marriage too.

I finished eating although my food had no taste and rose to get dressed. As I walked into our bedroom I noticed that Kath had three big suitcases full of her clothes and toiletries. She smiled at me and sweetly said, "I guess I have all I need. Will you be a dear and take these bags to the porch for Gregg?"

I looked at her blankly before replying, "No." Her face seemed to fall as she was shocked at my response. I followed my negative response up, "Look, if you're hell bent to destroy thirty years of marriage then you and shithead can take your bags out together. I will not help you in any way for you to go to this jerks bed. Got it?" Kath looked as if she was going to cry before she testily replied, "He is not a shithead! Gregg is a wonderful man and a hero who served our country! That's more than you ever did!"

I looked away muttering, "Yeah, he got medals, three meals a day and travel the globe while I got to spend five days a week in a job to provide for you and our daughter. I guess you're right, it was nothing."

Kathy dragged all her luggage down stairs to the drive and shot me evil looks with each bag she took. Within a few minutes a car pulled into our drive and a man who I can only assume was Gregg got out and began to load up her things. From our porch Kathy called out to him that she would be right there and then came back inside to see me.

We awkwardly stood facing each other and I broke the silence first, "If you are really going to do this foolish thing remember the ground rules, I don't want to see you or talk to you during this entire year." I think that it was starting to really sink into her fevered brain what this might mean as she meekly replied, "I understand Tom but it will work out you'll see. Remember that you agreed to give me a year." She waited for me to say something but I was mute. Finally, with a more confused look on her face she quietly said," I really do love you" She leaned in to kiss me on the lips but I turned my face at the last second so that she just brushed my cheek. I spoke rapidly, "I can't kiss you knowing that you are going to him." She started to tear up and then ran from the house and straight into his arms. As I stood in the front door I watched her kiss him deeply and rage welled up from deep inside my soul. Two minutes later my driveway was as empty as my heart and I truly realized that my wife was now the woman of another man.

I called in sick to work that morning and immediately went to the hardware store for new locks. I worked all morning replacing the locks in the house and changing the security codes on the alarm system. The good news was that it kept me busy and my mind off of Kathy but when I was done the sadness returned like a wave breaking on a beach.

Next, I did what any man would do; I unplugged our house phone and proceeded to get gloriously drunk. The bender I was on was really more of a quest for finding relief from the pain I was in over losing Kath, but it was a bust. My bout with bacchanalia lasted through Sunday morning. At that point I ran out of booze and it was good as I felt that I was going to die, physically, spiritually and mentally.

I went to bed and fell into a deep sleep only to woken by a pounding somewhere in the house. I woke slowly and stumbled along trying to find the noise which turned out to be my daughter Joan pounding on the front door.

When I let her in she looked shocked at my condition and the odor of booze that clung to the entire house. Her first words were, "What the Hell is going on Dad?"

I tried to focus, the hammers in my skull were making it hard but I managed to croak out, "What do you mean?"

She looked at me as if I had grown a second head and at that point I was wondering if I had too. She grabbed me and headed to the kitchen, "You need some coffee and food Dad and then you're going to explain to me what brought this all on."

An hour later with some food on my stomach and coffee in my hand I related everything I knew about her mother and Gregg. To say she was shocked was an understatement, "Dad, let me get this straight. She wants a leave of absence from your marriage for a year to reconnect with her old high school flame and let the romance run its course?" I nodded and replied, "Yup, that's about it."

Her next words were the same ones I had been asking myself since Friday, "What are you going to do Dad?"

I looked at her and the words just seemed to emerge from my lips without conscious thought, "Tomorrow I am calling in sick again and going to see a lawyer".

She looked sad and began to make excuses for her mother, "I can't believe Mom would do anything like that. Could it be a mental breakdown?" I looked at her with a blank face as I woodenly replied, "I have no idea Joanie"