Keeping the Soldier Girl

"I'm sure you have realised by now that you are my prisoner. You will remain here as long as I see fit, and you will no longer have any control over any aspect of your life. Do you understand me?"

"Bite me." She snapped back, the thought of willingly giving up her control causing her to see red, her blood pumping with anger. She renewed her struggle against the bonds at her wrists and ankles; only angered further when he started to laugh.

"Perhaps later," he chuckled. "But for now how about you tell me what a soldier like you is doing with nail polish and lipstick in her pack?" As he spoke he stood and crossed the room to the fire, tending to the rabbit he had set to cook. Carefully turning the pieces of meat, watching them sizzle slightly. He knew she would be able to hear it, probably even smell it by now; looking back at her he saw her nostrils twitch, confirming his suspicions.

The gentle sizzling and the smell drifting subtly on the air only served to remind her just how long it had been since they had marched out of base camp that morning. Her basic breakfast didn't compare to that smell; and while she couldn't quite place it she knew that it would taste so much better than the freeze-dried and rehydrated rations she had been living on in the field for the last six months.

His mention of her lipstick and nail polish made her breath catch, while she had guessed he would have been through her pack she hadn't really thought about him discovering her other personal belongings. She swallowed before she answered, determined that she would not let her emotion get the better of her.

'Pull it together.'She scolded herself. 'You did not spend the last six months in the field with a group of men to give into these kinds of games. You are not the weak, pretty girl who first walked into that office and asked about signing up. You've proven yourself, you're tougher than this. Don't give him what he wants.'

"How about you untie me before I put a shoulder out trying to get comfortable?"

He silently took the few steps to cover the distance between them and crouched down next to her as he pulled his knife from his belt once again; his face coming down to her level, whispering in her ear as he slid the blade under the first knot.

"If you try and escape you will pay the price." A quick jerk of the blade tore the first knot apart, giving her the freedom to move her legs and arms, her wrists and ankles still tied together. "I already took your boots and your winter clothes; you don't stand a chance out there tonight without them."

"I'm not stupid." She retorted, gently lowering her legs to the ground, really feeling the stretch, enjoying it thoroughly.

"I never said you were. Now, I'm going to untie your ankles so you can move around if I decide I want you to. But that doesn't give you permission to try and leave." He stretched across and once again slid his blade under the rope, cleanly slicing through the knots, pleased to see that he hadn't tied her tight enough to leave her with any marks, he didn't want to cause her too much pain; not yet anyway.

As the rope fell away from her ankles he pulled a new length from his back pocket, looping it around her left ankle, tying it, once again, securely but not tight enough to mark her pale skin. He wondered for a moment if she would bruise easily, he didn't want that. Taking the free end of the length of rope he secured it to his own belt; it was long enough for him to freely move around the cave and would stop her from escaping if she decided to be stupid enough to try. He wasn't lying when he said she wouldn't stand a chance, already the sky had clouded over, dark and heavy clouds that bore the promise of a freezing thunder storm. She would be soaked through and frozen to the core within minutes.

"There, I've done as I said, you can even sit up if you wish. Now talk, and be quick about it." He wasn't in the mood for playing games, he knew the meat wouldn't take much longer to cook and he didn't want to ruin it. He too knew how long it would have been since she had eaten anything as fresh, he wanted to see what she would be willing to do for it.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" She wished he would have removed the blindfold as well, this not knowing a thing about her location felt totally debilitating. She slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position, stretching her legs out in front of her, as she once against began testing the knots at her wrists."Fairies? Unicorns? I can probably make up a story involving both if you want me to?"

"Your nail polish, you were going to explain to me what it is doing in your bag. And if I were you I would hurry up before the meat burns. And if you even try to get your hands in front of you, you will pay the price."

"My shoulders don't exactly rotate three hundred and sixty degrees so I wouldn't fret about that so much, cupcake" She sassed, tired of the questions and the demands already. Her stomach rumbled as she was once again reminded of dinner.

"Your mouth is going to cost you your dinner if you aren't careful, Lieutenant." He interrupted. "Watch what you say or you'll lose more than the half that just cost you. I have no problems with depriving you of the things you need to survive. Believe me soldier, it's much easier for me to just kill you and not have to share my food." He wasn't in the mood for playing games, and she would soon learn that he wouldn't tolerate her back chat. "Now, the nail polish?"

She took a deep breath, giving herself the time to try and think of something comical, something totally implausible. Surely she couldn't just go spurting the truth, revealing her secrets to this strange man who see had never seen, her captor. The man who, she didn't doubt, would willingly see her die. But her mind was blank, she could find nothing but the truth to tell him and it infuriated her. She closed her eyes behind her blindfold, her voice low.

"My entire squadron are men." She began, "Sometimes it takes something tangible to remind me that I'm not one of them." The truth had never been spoken, she'd never been asked and she had never even really admitted it to herself. Until that very moment she had always been happy trying to be "one of the boys", she cussed and spat and joined in their bawdy conversations and none of them had ever tried to take advantage of her, at least, not since... She shook her head, pushing away the memory, this was hardly the time. She knew that they had believed the lie she carefully crafted around herself, that she was a hardened soldier who had no time for female emotions and ties. But now, as the words left her mouth she could already feel those defences starting to crumble.

"Tell me your deepest desire and your darkest fear." His voice too was low and soft, matching hers, watching as her shoulders slumped slightly and she almost visibly lost some of her strength before his very eyes. It was slightly unexpected; he had known she would be unnerved by his going through her pack, but he hadn't expected to find something as deep as she had just confessed.

"My darkest fear is by far the easiest of those two to explain." She paused momentarily, again searching for a lie and drawing a blank. It was frustrating, it was embarrassing and it was terrifying at the same time. "Confined spaces, small, inescapable places, especially dark ones." She took a breath, steadying herself as she could already feel panic starting to well up inside of her. "I think being buried alive would be the worst thing to happen to me; put inside a box, locked in and then covered over by six feet of heavy earth." Her heart was pounding in her chest, why was she revealing this to him? Why was she giving him this to use against her? She took another deep but shaky breath in an attempt to calm herself. "And my deepest desire? You have no idea how hard that is to answer."

As she began professing her darkest fear his mind wandered to the ammunition case he had stored in the back of the cave. Looking over her he reasoned she would just about fit inside of it, perhaps the next time she stepped over the line he would have to introduce her to it. He slowly stood as she thought about her desire and took the meat from the fire. He turned a few pieces over, checking them before putting them into a dish and returning to sit on the floor just across from her as he ate his share.

"I want... I guess I want to be happy." She admitted at last, the smell of the cooked meat much stronger now and as she paused she could hear him chewing. "And not just superficial happy, but that deep contentment that people seem to find; I want to be able to glow like those people I see in the streets back home when they've just got married, or landed that dream job or... I don't know, had a baby. It seems so surreal, but also like nothing in the world could hurt them anymore because they're so perfectly, perfect. "

She bent her knees, hugging them up towards her chest and shuffled back towards the fire, feeling the warmth at her back. Opening up her heart left her feeling cold and she craved the warmth at her back, but didn't trust herself to move too much closer without being able to see where it was. She leant forward to rest her head against her knees, letting the reality of her situation really sink in.

Just watching her he knew that she was going to break, she would give in to him and she would learn to love it. He slowly chewed the meat, not saying a word; just letting her think about what she had just said for a while he finished eating. When he swallowed his final mouthful he stood and came back to sit on the floor beside her, bringing the plate of bite sized pieces of meat with him.

"And you can have a chance to feel all of that if you just do as I say." He said as he sat, reaching out with his free hand to gently cup her chin, lifting it up so that if she could see through the blindfold she would have been looking directly into his eyes. "I'm going to feed you your half ration of meat now, if you try to bite me it will be the last thing you do." His voice was icy cold as he finished speaking, despite feeling for her in her clearly beaten state he wasn't prepared to take any chances. He wouldn't give her an inch. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes Sir." She responded, mentally kicking herself the moment the words left her mouth. What had she just said? Why had she said it? Her mouth had opened and words had come out and despite kicking herself now she couldn't deny how natural it had felt at the time. She couldn't deny how he had touched a part of her deep inside that responded to that level of authority. The tone of his voice, the feel of his presence beside her triggered something; perhaps the very something that had driven her to that recruitment office just two days after her last relationship had broken down. A deep and buried need to give someone else the control that she had over her own life, a need that surfaced in the face of such strong authority and led to her making a fool of herself.

The response made him smile, especially as he knew how much she would be chastising herself now, but it only confirmed the effect he was having on her. He didn't say anything, not wanting to draw further attention to what had just been said, letting her stew, letting her process it by herself; instead he simply picked up the first chunk of meat bringing it up to her lips, coating her lips with the juices before they slowly parted and she accepted the offering. There was no rush and he gave her time to chew, letting her enjoy her first taste of real food for several months, waiting until she had swallowed before presenting the next bite to her mouth. As he offered up the final taste he contemplated pushing her further, and as she licked the meat juices from her lips he decided to take the chance, he had nothing to lose and potentially a little more to gain. She sat there waiting, no way she could know whether that was all she had or whether there was still more food to be offered to her.

"Did you want to lick the juices from my fingers?" The test was obvious to him, but he wasn't sure how she would take it. Would she be willing to do something so personal and so intimate just for one more taste? Would she take the opportunity and try to turn it against him by biting him now that she had received the food she wanted and needed? And failing that he knew the confusion about why he was asking and how best to answer would only further her distress and lead her further down the path he was laying for her.

Without the ability to read minds she was torn and confused; the temptation to say yes was there, to get another taste and just a little more food, but at the same time she couldn't let herself degrade herself so, she couldn't let herself give away how low she was falling. Yet, coupled with that was the worry about what would happen if she gave the wrong answer; would saying no anger him? If so what would the consequences be? Chewing on her bottom lip as she thought her face was picture perfect in his eyes, he could imagine the cogs turning in her brain as she struggled to make what should be a simple decision. After letting her suffer for a while he knew it was time to take the choice away from her, he couldn't drive her to madness just yet.

"Too late, you missed your chance." He licked the remnants of the meat juices from his own fingers as he stood and returned the dish to the small shelf he had constructed just next to the fire. Then he turned his attention to the jug of water he had placed there earlier that morning, pouring a small amount of it into a bowl before using it to wash his hands clean, drying them on a small length of fabric. As he turned his attention back to her the evening's first roll of thunder sounded above them as the temperature in the cave began to drop and the rain began to pelt down on the roof.

She shivered, bringing her knees up closer to her chest and taking the chance of shuffling backwards just a little further, seeking out the warmth of the fire just a little more. Her hands and feet were especially feeling the night's chill and she wished she could just wrap herself inside her sleeping bag and forget everything. Instead, as she still tried to imagine what the world beyond the blindfold looked like all she could think about was how pathetic she must look, and all she could hear playing over and over in her mind were the cries of her comrades as he had picked them off one at a time interspersed with some of his first words to her'You will remain here as long as I see fit, and you will no longer have any control over any aspect of your life.'

She sat and listened to the rain beating down above her, each roll of thunder drawing closer to them, only reaffirming that she wouldn't be able to make any attempt at running tonight. She had no idea where this place was in relation to her base camp and without any of her equipment she would never be able to get her bearings and she would never find her way back. She heard the trickle of water and licked her lips, again reminded of how long it had been since she had marched out of camp that morning and how her water canteen had remained untouched.

Watching her he wondered what was going through her mind, wondered what she was thinking, how she was feeling, whether she was coming around to his way of thinking. He hoped so, he could certainly use some company out here, and he was starting to actually believe that this was a fantastic turn of luck, that maybe she would even learn to love the life he was willing to give to her.

Picking up her canteen from the floor where he had earlier discarded it he returned to her side, letting his hand gently run down her exposed forearm, aware of the fact that she was wearing short sleeved shirt. While he was willing to make her suffer, make her earn her warmth and protection he didn't want to risk her getting ill. Her skin was cold to the touch, he would have to get her into something warmer before the night got much colder; first though there were more basic things to worry about. Her water canteen was still full, it was clear she hadn't opened it and from his knowledge they had marched out of their base camp at 9:30 that morning. While it was humid and she would be losing less water he didn't want her getting ill.

"You're going to need more covers to stay warm tonight." He told her. "You'll find a way to earn it I'm sure."

Unscrewing the top of the canteen he brought it up to her lips, "Here, drink," he tipped the bottle so the water wet her lips. "It's your water, from your canteen, nothing more." As her lips parted he gently tipped the bottle a little further, letting the cool liquid trickle into her mouth, giving her time to swallow, not pouring too fast, waiting until she pulled back slightly before stopping. She licked the few remaining drops from her lips and tilted her head in his direction slightly.

"Thank you."

"Can't have you dehydrating on me, that would ruin everything I have planned for you." He tightly screwed the top back onto the canteen and put it down on the floor next to her. "Stand up."

As he gave the order he gracefully rose to his feet and then bent down to reach hold of her elbow, steadying her as she stood, knowing she would be slightly off balance with her hands still tied securely at her back. He kept a hold of her, guiding her through the cave without a word, leading her outside.

The wind was the first thing to hit them as they rounded the corner, her skin breaking out into goose bumps. Then came the rain, first just the spray as it hit the ground just outside the cave entrance and then as he guided her outside the full force on the rain came down on the both of them. Within a few seconds she could feel it seeping through her clothes, her shirt sticking to her skin, her trousers rapidly following suit. She was soon shivering and she had no idea what was going on.

He came to stand in front of her, she could hear him moving by the sound of the water hitting against him and from the pull of the rope still secured to her ankle. He reached out, snapping the button of her trousers undone and yanking them and her panties down to her ankles.

"Squat."

She cried out with surprise as he pulled her trousers down, leaving her essentially naked from the waist down to shiver and shake in the cold. She could work out what he was asking of her and she rebelled against the very thought of it.

"You have got to be kidding me." She snapped, "There is not a chance I am..."

He cut her short, "Look, I bought you out here so you don't piss yourself, or in my home. You're not getting another chance until morning, so make your choice, and get on with it."

"Are you planning on making me drink a lot between now and then?"

The sound of the slap that followed resounded through the night air, his open palm connecting with her rain soaked cheek. She stumbled backwards recoiling away from him, her face smarting with the blow. Her teeth chattered as her cheek flushed red, her soaking wet shirt clinging to her body now, leaving nothing more to his imagination.

"You will not backchat me like that." He snarled, hastily closing the gap between them, clutching the front of her shirt in his fist, his face up close against hers. She was off balance and he capitalised on it, pushing her to her knees before him. "Get on with it, slut." He too was cold and wet and he grew impatient at her defiance.

His rage was unexpected, and she bit her tongue against the tears that threatened behind her eyes as he shoved her to the ground.

"I'm sorry."She cried, barely managing to keep her voice steady. "Please... I can't do this. Not with an audience." Despite not being able to see him just knowing he was there was enough. He might have wanted complete control over her life but somewhere inside she still felt some shred of dignity, some sense of pride and she couldn't knowingly give that up.