All Comments on 'Kitty's Problem Ch. 02'

Especially for an 18 to 22 year old guy. I knew that big hunky brother Phoenix was going to fix his baby sister Kitty's "problem--fix it good and hard with his fat 9-incher right up her pretty little twat. Holy shit, that huge thing practically split the girl in two. But did Kitty ever love every minute of it. She never came that good in her life, now she's addicted to the beautiful monster her big brother's got sticking up from between his legs. Kitty loves her brother's great muscular bod as much as Phoenix loves his sister's soft feminine form, his big cock's gonna be up Kitty's sweet little slit more than it's just hanging down over his balls. That huge load of semen he shot up her cute cunt when he blew his big brotherly balls won't be the last load. But wait. Phoenix shot all that semen up Kitty's cute unprotected cunt. Are the kids going to have a nice little souvenir to show their parents from their hot incestuous fuck? I sure as fuck hope so.

love it that all skinny punny nerds go away to college and come back a few months later as hunks with the obligatory 9 incher,just saying

So hot, moar write moar.

This is similar to my story . I'm going to take a guess . Will she get pregnant.

In the first chapter, and in the beginning of this chapter, Kitty has on a t-shirt and short shorts (booty shorts in chapter one) under a robe. However, when Kitty opens her robe to Phoenix, the shorts and t-shirt have magically disappeared -- no description of her removing her shirt and shorts, or him removing them from her: "She nodded and blushed as she opened her robe to reveal her soft breasts and pink nipples. 'Please...' " Lack of continuity, among other things hurt this in my opinion. And the parents are conveniently out of town on the day their son gets home from a long absence? Really?

Story itself is only okay, but decent enough. The many spelling and grammatical errors along with the constant mixing of present and past tense in the telling of the story do detract from the story. As has been recommended to many authors here, at the least you need to reread the story after a day or two or get an editor who will point out the problems.

Pretty enjoyable reading and fairly quick to the point while still covering a bit of history. Now lemme poke for fun...;)

"No... I wanted this for a while, I just... Wouldn't admit it... I guess I was just scared." She looked back at him, his same shade of blue eyes looking back at her.

(And by 'for a while' I mean for about three hours since I just met the new you.;)

He stood and helped her up, kissing her hand. "Kitty, I don't want this to be a one time thing..."

She gasped at his words, she didn't know what to say. "Are you sure... What if you MMFFF!?!" Her brother cut her off with a deep kiss that lasted more then a minute.

(Shh!! No talkie talkie! I don't wanna mess up my down the hall pussy gig!;)

He pulled back with a serious look. "You're mine now Kitty... And I'm yours... I don't ever want anyone else... I don't care what anyone says."

(Possessive lil' fucker, isn't he?)

...anyway, on to the next chapter!

AT LEAST YOU TRYED GOOD IMPROVEMENT

A little to quick with the sex uptake, but overall terrific.

Her shirt, then her booty shorts 'magically' disappear! Hehe. Hey, like the upside down nudie pen trick! Heh.

He's like, you're not upset are you? And she's like, no Ive been wanting to do this for a while now. 'A while' meaning about two hours ago when he got home from school and you noticed he was fuckably delicious! Cudos though for wanting to bang him before you saw his gear, heh!