All Comments on 'La Familia De Ortega Ch. 1'

Buenos. I loved it. Damn, I wish I had a little virgin sister like Ruby.

You state that he wiped his cum all over her face & then in the next para you say he hadn't come once but she had come twice?!! Alos some basic speling errors (like "vreast" for breast!) Easy to fix & will greatly improve readability. Good luck.

Spelling and pronoun usage 'lost virginity to whom NOT who too (even that is the wrong "to".

keep track of whose organism you are speaking about.