All Comments on 'Lost and Forgotten'

Loved the dr. Who reference of Clara Oswald

Glad to see a new submission!!

This is a great story I truly hope it's not a one off . You could do so much more with it . Hope to see more soon . Thanks for the story …..

Nice Story, I enjoyed this read very well, I hope it Continues as I am looking forward to the next Issue to it

am looking forward to the next chapter

Please keep this story going. I see great adventures ahead

Dear Lost Boy,

You have a LOT going on in this tale. To me, it reads like a cliff notes version of a much longer story. I’m not saying you don’t have a story here, just that it seems to make some pretty major leaps in story telling along with the characters making some huge decisions without any apparent rational reason for them. There’s also some pretty big plot holes that are not explained. While that, in itself, isn’t a bad thing, the way the story reads leaves too many questions unanswered.

But (insert the old axiom here, everything before the but means nothing) you have real talent and ability to write. You can definitely make more out of this tale should you decide to. I appreciate the work you put into this and all your stuff. I think you can make this one more than just the one off it is right now.

Thank you and respectfully,

Just Another Fucking Critics

JAFCritic on literotica

I really like this story, but you seem to be of two minds; you should either write a gratuitous sex story or write a great story with some quality sex scenes. Hopefully the next chapter will decide. But it is still a great story so PLEASE keep going.

I loved it and hopefully you'll continue it and build upon what you have started!

Great start with this story.For sure you need to continue this story.

Like the title says, you got delightful bones here. This is the beginning of a really good novel, perhaps a film; but it needs a lot of work. The Devil really is in the details, transitions, background and supporting stories. I hope you do the work to build a whole story. That said, I did enjoy it. Thanks.

An outstanding story, I do hope that you continue it. This chapter has so much to it that you could take it almost anywhere. I hope to see more of this in the near future. Keep up the Great work.

Your talent continues to exceed expectations. I am impressed with the extent of your vivid imagination. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. I hope you recover your health soon. The world needs one of your like.

Its a great story, it seems like a mini version of Click or Legacy with the secret dungeons etc. but I enjoyed those tales. I think this story was a little rushed, it was well written and I liked it but it feels like you left out a lot. Maybe those holes will be filled in with a part 2?

One thing that bothers me, is that this teacher is screwing an under-aged student... most girls even if they are seniors in high school start out at 16 or 17 at the beginning of the school year. About half of them will turn 18 sometime after winter break, but here hes ready to screw three girls that haven't even started the school year (and unless they were held back a year, they are most likely under-aged)... anyway just my two cents.

That was an awesome story. Complete, but able to continue. Just the perfect blend of sex and the plot.

I loved it and would like to see this expand.

Would really like to see this story continued.

Plot of story is wonderful but then inclusion of sex should be smooth so that sex could be inline with story. Here sex was like accidentally they started to make out where as story should move within that direction.

I must admit that story plot/story line attracted me so much that I couldn't rest without finish it. Kudos to writer for great work on suspense. But please improve your trajectory when you are about to introduce sex.

More please. Cheers.

I would like to see more of this story .

I got lost in the story...kept me hooked till the last word.....love to read more...

thankyou Lost Boy

I've been reading your works over the past several years, and I always get that craving for more, every time I read a new one. I hope you can continue this story, as well as make it through whatever issues with Legacy you are battling. Above all, I also hope your health is improving. ;)

I read how you planned this as a stand alone piece however this could most definitely be expanded on.

For starters, you could write of his escapades in an all giel school with increased pheromones

Fantastic as always, hope you write more on this. I'm also not so patiently waiting for more in the legacy series. You are a great story teller. Keep up the good work.

First story I’ve read if yours. Going back for more. Like how it’s not all about the sex. Great story even if the sex had been taken out!!

You have created a whole new world from the Nick Shaw stories. Yyou may intend to stand it on its own but this story has legs, please run with itto a complete conclusion.

Got confusing. Someone sneaks into his room. How can her name be used when it is in his 1st person POV. Then they have sex without any, anything except him saying her tits are average.

Too many jumps and loses continuity.

Shame, as the story had possibilities.

Thanks for all the great comments and tons of votes. I am thrilled to announce that thanks to all of you I have topped 3200 followers. Since I have so many of you asking for more of this story I am going to do at least a five part series as well as the planned introduction of a new series detailing the adventures of Missouri Smith. Thanks again.

Once again you have written a great story. I been a fan of yours for a long time. You weave a wonderful storyline along with the sexual content. I can't wait until you write more. Thanx for the great read.

I really liked this. It is not the same old screw story that while sometimes entertaining, is all too simple to write, and all too often unsatisfying. This had a few places where I got a little confused, and had to go back and read over, but I have to say, I look forward to reading more about this tale. Well done, with nice character developement, and much room for growth.

Great story line. This definitely has potential. I await breathlessly.

Wonderful as always, I hope you plan on continuing this story!

You've set up quite an interesting premise here. Keep this one going.

And I love every damn minute of it. Been reading your stories since the start. Keep them coming we will wait.

I am looking forward to reading on!

Good Story, ! Good Story.! Love The premise ... Hire the 3 students. They and John need another mystery to work through.

He is now independent , curious and has 3 gorgeous, inquisitive cohorts. And don't forget Titania ... Love Red-Heads with big tits.

Indianna Wannabe

I have to agree with the one comment left back in 2018 - This reads almost like a Cliff's Notes version of a story. Jumps around a lot, without much transition. You also seem to have a habit of writing quotes without putting them in proper context. As in "I'm here." rather than writing something like, "I'm here", said John with a lopsided grin. That particular phrase stood out because it was sandwiched between two long paragraphs, and there was zero context of why anyone in the scene would even be saying it.

With regard to the Cliff's Notes analogy; The scenes usually happen way too quickly without much background or explanation, as if you're hurrying through the good parts and leaving out a lot of details. It doesn't flow very well, as the story jumps from one scene to the next.

I still loved it, but it left me wishing it had more polish. Could have easily been twice as long if you fleshed it out a bit. And again, thanks!

A bit disjointed in places that made the tale a bit hard to follow. But l enjoyed it, it was a thrill.

Scores 5/5, l hope the story continues elsewhere, will look.

Great story but it could really use some sort of transitions between ideas. Each one is unique allowing the reader to usually piece together the missing bit but really needs a bit more detail from one scene to another.

Transitional imagery and bridging paragraphs. You need them. Badly.

There is a great story concept here. I would very much like to read it of you ever decide to finish writing it. The 1st draft you have posted has promise.