Lost & Found: A Charm for Trinity Ch. 02

"Okay Trini, what's on your mind?" he asked.

"Baby, I spoke with Mom today...and Dad." I felt him tense up, so I moved quickly to calm him down.

"Scotty, Stella and me, we had a talk, and she made me see some things, things we should have seen for ourselves. It's time we really did get back in synch with Mom and Dad; they made mistakes, sure, but so did we, and this can't go on; Scotty, I'm going to need her; I'm going to need all my family back together; I can't have our baby living in a war-zone, and I won't use my baby to punish Mom and Dad. We need them now, and they need to know about this baby; it's time to let that stuff go, Scotty, please, for me, and for the baby!"

I was crying now. As I was telling him what I wanted to happen, a huge need for Mom, for my parents, bloomed inside me; maybe my hormones had finally kicked into high-gear, or maybe I'd accepted Stella was right; even with her in my corner, I really needed my mom right now.

Scotty held me close as he soothed me, holding my head in against his chest the way he used to when I was small, letting his heartbeat soothe me. When I stopped crying, he dried my tears, and then lifted my face to look into my eyes.

"So what did they say, baby? Are we going to see them?"

I nodded.

"Saturday. I never told them about the baby; I want you there with me when I tell them. Is that okay, baby?"

He grinned and pinched my butt lightly, making me grin through my tears.

"Saturday it is, baby-girl, now stop crying, it's not good for the baby, and talking of babies, I'm kinda hazy on how exactly it happened, so if you're not too busy right now, I think I need you to remind me, y'know, for future reference, sorta thing...!"

Very little knocks Scotty off his stride when he's got his 'horny' head on...

*

Saturday morning saw us parked a little way down from our parents' house, both of us just sitting there, me somewhat restlessly; sitting down for long periods was just a little uncomfortable right now. Scotty had kind of kept me busy the last couple nights, not that I'm complaining, but I couldn't help wishing for a softer seat cushion than the Torino offered...

We sat there for a good while, convincing ourselves that we were doing the right thing. Scotty was here because of me, he knew and felt inside that this was right for me, but he was having a problem believing it was going to be smooth and easy; I guess the stuff Daddy had said to him, and the almost-physical altercation that ensued was still squirreling around inside him, and while he was putting on a calm facade for me, his knuckles were white where he was gripping the steering wheel. Finally I'd had enough.

"Scotty, we have to go inside. Mom's waiting for us!"

Scott looked at me guiltily, realising I'd figured out he was delaying us, and smiled ruefully.

"You're right, baby-girl, I'm sorry. Let's go, Trini; our fate awaits!"

As we walked up the drive, I heard him mutter under his breath "...into the Valley of Death rode the six hundred..."

Mom was pleased to see us finally back in our home (our OLD home, I told myself; my home was in Holden's Crossing now, with Scotty, not here...), and she got kind of emotional, telling us how our old rooms were still the way they were the day we left, which I found slightly creepy, Scotty and me exchanging glances at that. Mom spotted that glance, and actually smiled.

"No, babies, it's not like that, I promise. I just left them the way they were because they reminded me of both of you; if I picked them up and put everything away, they'd just be spare bedrooms, and I didn't want that. As long as they still looked like your rooms, I still had a little bit of both of you here, that's all."

Daddy was...different; he looked sheepish, glad, sad, all kinds of things, but I noted that he completely avoided touching me in any way; no hug, no attempt to peck me on the cheek, nothing, not even to take my hand. Scotty had once told him never to touch me again, and poor Daddy was obviously still feeling that. In spite of everything that had gone before, it felt funny, and not in a good way at all, to have my daddy avoiding me like that, and it somehow diminished him for me. He obviously felt that Scotty was the man in my life now, not him, and I think that was just adding to his sadness.

I couldn't have that, so I hugged him, feeling him tense-up for a second before hugging me back, his hand on the back of my head the way he used to when he'd carry me to my room when I was small, if Scotty wasn't there to do it for me.

That was when I felt the tears start; my family was so fractured, and it was my fault; if I hadn't been so eager to seduce my brother, this wouldn't even be happening right now. Daddy felt me start to sob, and he held me close, draining the hurt and the bad memories away as we wordlessly forgave each other. When he finally let go of me, his old smile was back, and that sheepish, slightly scared look he'd had when we first came in was gone.

Scotty was still looking less than comfortable, but he relaxed when I took his hand.

"Baby, let it go, I have, it's over; please, Scotty, for me!"

Daddy looked suddenly apprehensive as he realized Scotty was still angry with him, and had come here because of me, not because he wanted to, but then Scotty surprised me the most I'd ever been; he gently tweaked my nose, then stuck his hand out, Daddy taking it out of sheer surprise. Scott grinned wryly at Daddy.

"Dad, we both said stuff we shouldn't have, and I guess we both feel pretty stupid about it; Trini and me, we need to have you back, especially now. I was angry and I said a bunch of stupid, hurtful stuff I shouldn't have, stuff I didn't mean. I still love you and Mom, I never stopped, I just let the anger get on top of me; I shot my mouth off, and I guess I kind of dragged Trini along with me. I'm sorry Dad, and you, too, Mom; when you came and saw us I acted like a prick, and I'm sorry!"

Daddy looked stunned; Scotty was legendary for his stubbornness; when he dug his heels in, they stayed dug-in, so this caught me off-guard completely; I was expecting a grudging "I'll say sorry if you do, too, but you say it first..." kind of thing from him, and I guess Daddy was too, so we were both a little sandbagged.

Scotty half turned and gave me that smile, and then I knew he'd made the first move because I needed and wanted this whole thing over and out of the way so I could tell them our news; that's why I love him so much; everything he does, he does it first and foremost for me.

Mom reached out to him, and suddenly Scotty was hugging her, probably for the first time since he was a boy. Mom had been kind of distant with us all through our childhood, or at least from the time she joined that damned church, and spontaneous affection from her after that had been rare. She gasped in surprise as Scott hugged her close, but I saw her hands tighten on his shoulders as she hugged him back, her face buried in his chest, and not saying anything about his choice of words, even more evidence of how much she'd changed.

Once upon a time, using language milder than that in front of Mom meant a stern lecture and threats about washing out our mouths with a bar of Lifebuoy. When he finally let her go, there were tears in her eyes, but a big, happy smile on her face.

Mom indicated we sit, so we did, Daddy and Mom sitting together on the couch, Scotty sitting in the easy-chair while I sat on the arm next to him. I didn't know where to start, but Mom gave me a lead-in.

"Trini, you told me you had something to tell us when you called, so relax, honey, please, and just speak your piece, we're listening."

Scotty squeezed my hand reassuringly, but I still had to swallow a couple of times as my mouth was suddenly dry as a bone.

"Mom, Daddy, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. Last week I went to see the doctor, and took some tests. I'm pregnant, Mom, and the baby's due end of February..."

I braced for the blast of anger, intolerance and bigoted religious nonsense that had become such a trademark of my parents, no matter how much they claimed they'd changed, but unaccountably, they were smiling. I looked at Scotty in confusion, seeing the same confusion and lack of comprehension in his eyes. I raised my eyebrows in silent query, and he shrugged back, as much at a loss as I was.

"Mom, did you hear me? I said I was pregnant..."

"I heard you, baby!" smiled Mom, "you're having a baby, our grandchild, in February. Congratulations, both of you, you must be so happy. I know I am!"

Now I was completely at sea, and Scotty, well, he was sitting there with his mouth opening and closing, but no actual sounds coming out.

Mom reached out and put her hand on my knee.

"We already suspected that was what you wanted to tell us, baby! You've been living as husband and wife for two years now, and to be honest, I'm surprised it's taken this long!"

Now it was my turn to stare open-mouthed at her. Mom smiled happily at my expression, her face suddenly young and beautiful again, all the harsh, stern lines I'd gotten to know so well completely erased, and she looked her proper age again, a very young forty.

"I knew as soon as you walked in the door! Actually, when I came and saw you, I suspected then, as soon as I saw you; there was something about you, call it mother's intuition, but I guessed you were pregnant right there and then. I'm so happy for you, for both of you!"

Something else was off, and it took me a while before I realized what it was; Mom and Daddy were holding hands, something I hadn't seen in many a year, and when Mom spoke, Daddy followed what she was saying, his eyes tracking hers the way they used to. Apparently things really had changed around here, and for the better. For the first time in I don't know how long, I relaxed, aware that Mom wasn't setting me up to preach at me, lecture me, ignore me, or exclude me, that I was finally her daughter again.

As I thought and felt these things, a tear rolled down my cheek, and suddenly Mom was there, holding me, wiping my eyes, caring for me, finally my mom again. Scotty kind of looked on, but held his peace; he knew what was happening here, and when Daddy suggested they go in the den and leave me and Mom to talk he nodded, patted my hand, and left Mom and me to find ourselves again.

Mom was so light and cheerful it lifted me up. We chatted about the town, about what had been going on while we were gone, stories about the neighbors, just chat, but it was a first, it was Mom and me being equals now, and family once again.

I guess Scott and Daddy had the same kind of talk, the guy version, because when he finally came back in, it was to find me going through old photo albums with Mom and picking out the pictures I wanted. He'd lost that wary defensive air, and Daddy was relaxed and pretty much his old self again, so whatever they talked about, and whatever was left unsaid, it was enough for the two men in my life to find each other again.

All through that day we talked, about school, about my life in Holden's Crossing, about the baby, and Mom and I even cooked dinner together, one of the things I'd always wanted so much to do with her, but never had.

We never mentioned the things that had happened to make us leave; they were a given, and didn't need to be rehashed, or talked-out; it was unspoken yet understood that all of that, the things said and the accusations made, all of that was a time best forgotten, and memories no-one needed reviving. Now we'd finally bridged the gap, only the future mattered, this baby, and all our lives going forward.

When we finally left, it was with a strong sense of regret; I'd found the thing I'd longed for all my life, I had my beautiful, funny, loving mom again, and now I had to leave her behind to go home; it was a wrench, but I knew Scotty and I could never live here again in Stillman, not where so many people knew who we were. I was silent the long drive home, thinking about the major changes that had happened, and the even bigger changes coming along soon enough.

Scotty knew my moods well enough that he left me alone to think, and he was extra tender and caring the next few days while all the tumult inside me quieted down as my feelings sorted themselves out.

As it happened, Mom became a fairly regular visitor to our home; her natural urge to see her children and her instincts as the mother of a pregnant mother were probably running on high as well, and I looked forward to her tap on the door and the feel of her presence in my home, small as it was.

Scotty and I were saving up to buy an old frame house on the west side of town, complete with a couple acres of what used to be a flower garden before the owner let it all turn back to scrub meadow. Scotty wanted the whole package; I think in his mind's eye he was seeing a lawn green and smooth as a billiard table, with himself riding around on one of those John Deere lawn tractors he kept staring at every time we went into Springfield or up to Stillman to see mom and dad.

*

We eventually put together an offer on the property, with help from Mom and Dad, and a little something from Stella, 'just in case'; it was accepted, and now we were landowners, even if it was a run-down frame house and two acres of thistles, kudzu, and ground Ivy. "Get a donkey..." advised Stella, but we cleared that land ourselves, and Daddy and his friends, along with most of the town, came and helped Scotty refurbish the house.

I did what I could, but I was at the waddling stage, and my back hurt, my feet hurt, my breasts ached, and my temper was about a yard long, so Scotty made sure Mom and Stella kept me occupied. He didn't really need the edge of my tongue after a long day at work, and an even longer night working on the house.

The day after we officially moved into the house, I woke Scotty at 3 A.M. with the news my water had broken and watched him melt into a puddle of panic on the bedroom floor, so I called Stella and she dressed me and got me in the car while Scotty gibbered and spent even more time being panic-stricken.

The birth was long and arduous; I was in labor for almost twenty hours, Stella was with me, and she must have called Mom, because suddenly she was there too. I kept Scotty out of there; if he'd paid attention to those horribly graphic videos at the Lamaze classes then he knew what was happening, and I didn't want him to see me like that in case he never wanted to see me ever again and took off for the tall timber instead.

So he and Daddy paced, and drank coffee, and paced some more while the women in my family coped with me, my pain, my panic, and my overwhelming urge to stab Scotty repeatedly for doing this to me.

At some point I must have screamed extra loud, maybe I called his name, things are a little blurry and confused about that time, but suddenly there he was, his hands cool and reassuring on my face while I called him names I didn't know I knew, and made lurid, graphic threats against his body, but still he stayed and somehow got me back into the breathing exercises we'd learned in Lamaze.

*

Kadey-Rae Mason Donnelly-Corden was born just after eleven o'clock that night, seven pounds of red-faced, screaming panic, and she was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen; when the obstetrician put her in my arms, I thought I was going to swell up and burst, and if anyone had tried to take her from me, twenty hours of labor or no, I'd have torn them limb from limb and disco-danced on the sticky remains.

After a while I realized Mom, Stella, Scott, and Daddy were all clustered around me, all crying and smiling. Scotty looked wrung-out and frightened half to death after all that, but when he looked at his baby girl, his expression flickered among wonder, awe, terror, and deep, deep love.

"Hey hotshot, want to say hello to your daughter?" I smiled, and my Scotty kissed me, tears running down his cheeks as he gingerly took that tiny little bundle and held her to him.

"My baby..." he whispered, gazing down raptly at her as she wriggled slowly in his arms, her tiny, perfect little fingers clutching at the air as she yawned.

"Thank you, Trin, I love you so much," he murmured, "she's beautiful, she looks like Mom..."

*

Bringing Kadey-Rae home was an event in itself; everyone who'd come to my baby-shower seemed to be there, and their friends, anxious for the big reveal, and my baby spent a large amount of time being 'oo'ed' over, having her chin chucked, and being passed from mother to mother, so pretty much the whole town could meet its newest resident.

With guests came food; pies, casseroles, biscuits, cookies, fudge, and fruit baskets, so much we'd never be able to eat it all before it spoiled, so I had Scotty label all the casserole dishes before he piled them in the freezer, and put everything else in the fridge; it barely fit. Our neighbours were the generous sort. The next morning, nice and early, he took all that wonderful food to the homeless shelter and the women's shelter in Monte Vista so it wouldn't go to waste.

*

Poor Scotty! Having a new baby in the house was one thing, but keeping his hands off me for eight weeks was a sore trial; it was a two-way street, too; just because my hormones were running riot inside me, and my body felt like someone else's, and I couldn't see my feet because my titties were in the way, my need for Scotty hadn't diminished; if anything, I was as horny as ever, and when I wasn't getting up in the middle of the night to nurse my baby, I'd be lying there sweating and trying not to groan while the wildest sex-fantasies capered and cavorted around inside me.

Scotty, too, if his restless stirring and muttering all night long, and his bleary, weary expression every morning was anything to go by. I was used to Scotty, happy, horny, endlessly inventive Scotty, humping me madly at the drop of a hat, even well into the last trimester, with my full connivance and cooperation, and I really, truly thought I was going out of my mind with need and frustration.

It got so I even snapped and snarled at Mom, something I had promised myself faithfully I wouldn't do, as part of my program to forgive and forget and move on, but luckily Mom realized what was behind it, and sat me down to give me the frankest talk I'd ever had in my entire life.

"Trini, I know you can't make love for a while, I know it feels like forever, I've been there sweetie, twice, I remember it well, but honey, you don't have to suffer; you have hands, fingers, a mouth, and I'm sure Scotty does too; you don't need to hump like a pair of mink to get some satisfaction and to give poor Scotty some release; he's looking really frayed around the edges, he's about to climb the walls and explode, so think, baby, use your body; you have...other options; I'm sure you know what I mean!"

She was more than a little pink by now.

"Trini, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but there are other ways to make love to your man, sweetie, other...places; I'm sure you don't need me to spell it out, girl! Do it, and do it soon, because you're driving each other crazy, and your father and I are not far behind!"

I was astonished; I knew Mom had come a long way back, but this was a new high for her, and I mentally ticked another box in my list of things to do to get my mom back from where she'd been.

"Mom, are you suggesting Scotty and I...you know...like that? Are you sure?"

Mom grinned, possibly the dirtiest, most smugly suggestive grin I'd ever seen on her face, more proof that Bell and his perverted views and opinions were firmly and irrevocably in the past.

"Well of course, baby; I know you and Scotty used to do that, I know what I saw, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a first!"